Bringing The Puppy Home
by AngylLayDying
Summary: Sadness. Panic. Stress. Poison. When Roy volunteers to take a critically ill Edward home, does he know what he's getting himself into? RoyxEd Yaoi
1. Chapter 1: Say Goodbye

**Series:** Bringing the Puppy Home

**WARNING:** **RATED M FOR** Language, violence, adult themes, yaoi, character deaths, spoilers.

**Disclaimer:** Fullmetal Alchemist in its entirety belongs to Hiromu Arakawa, all story and character credit goes directly to her.

**A/N: **Welcome to my very first story. I am absolutely in love with this anime, and I honestly can't tell you how this brainchild formed. But I can't wait to have it out here for (hopefully) you all to enjoy. Thank you!

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**Chapter 1: **Say Goodbye

Colonel Roy Mustang tapped a finger on his mahogany desk, eyebrows twitching in annoyance. His other hand was currently occupied by the phone, and the person on the other line was luckily residing across town. If not, the gloved hand with the tapping finger wouldn't be tapping; it would be snapping. Only to cause more renovations for an office that already carried its own weight in insurance.

"Fullmetal...this is the last time I'm going to ask," Mustang growled into the phone, eyes narrow. Hawkeye had just walked into the brightly-lit office, still blinking as she set down a new pile of papers to be signed by the colonel at her own desk. "I want that report here _today!_ You've been putting it off for over a week!" Roy shouted into the phone after a few seconds of silence. Angry squeaking could be heard on the other end, and First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye could only smile and stare for a few seconds before she felt Roy's dark stare. The man held the buzzing phone a few inches from his ear, grimacing at the noise, yet glaring at Riza. She elegantly looked past the colonel to the wall and took a seat at her desk, eyes lowering to study the documents that were there waiting for her.

After the angry mess of a yelling voice quieted, Mustang ran his free hand through his dark hair, sighing, but not in defeat, in hopelessness. "I don't care if you haven't been feeling well! I'm not the one who's been screwing around for the past week, am I? And I'm not the one who signed up for a mission that I thought would be easy, either! The report needs to be in TODAY!" After a few seconds of more raged squeaking, Roy slammed the phone down with an angry huff.

"Easy on the phone, Sir," Hawkeye corrected automatically, sitting down at her desk to look over a few files. Roy made a shaking fist and growled to himself.

"Why won't he ever listen? If I don't get that report in soon, I'm going to be in deep water," Roy thought aloud, pressing two fingers to his temple dramatically. His blue military uniform contrasted sharply with the walls, and Riza could just see the movements out of the corner of her eye. "The more laboratories in illegal use that we find, the more nervous the higher ups here in Central get. If they don't get their results on this latest one, it's going to be pinned on _me_. All because a damn kid has deadline issues."

Riza cocked an un-amused eyebrow. "With all due respect, Colonel, Edward just got his brother's body back a few months ago. Can't you just let it slide? I'm sure Alphonse is on his mind much more than you or this report. To be truthful, I don't blame him."

Roy growled a warning, fingers itching to try out his gloves on the pristine office. "Then. He. Should. Not. Have. Gone. On. The. Mission."

"Well, Sir, you did more or less place the mission onto his shoulders," Hawkeye replied, looking up from her post screening of the documents that were to be sent. Roy stood from his seat and turned the face the window, his sharp eyes piercing the scenery below. Hawkeye, feeling a protective mothering instinct rise within her despite knowing she was over reaching her boundaries, continued. "Edward was visibly resistant, obviously not feeling up to par with the mission requirements that you laid out before him."

"I then asked no more of Major Elric than I do of my other men, Lieutenant. Fullmetal had taken his leave of absence to be with Alphonse, and it was time for him to return to duty," Roy snapped, his voice carrying in annoyance. He glared at a random object outside the window, a person moving across the parade ground several stories below. "Feeling well or not, feeling like going or not, he is a soldier, just like you and I. There is no excuse."

"Of course, Sir," Hawkeye replied in an apologetic manner, lowering her gaze in slight embarrassment for being reprimanded. She considered the files before her for a moment, before looking back up. The colonel had already turned his gaze back out the window. She thought it amazing how the colonel could seem so angry, and yet still have the soft look of someone he was very fond of in his eyes. And she knew better than anything that the softness wasn't pointed at her. "I apologize if you are feeling stressed. Everything has been less than sane for these last few months," she said, her voice low but strong.

Roy's blue eyes grew darker, if at all possible, and a puzzling frown swept across his handsome face. "You could say that again. Ever since Fuhrer Bradley disappeared and Hakuro took over, it's been drastically different," Roy murmured, just loud enough for the room's other occupant to hear. He placed a hand on the tan wall beside him and studied more of the figures moving about a few stories below. "They sure did move on quickly. Didn't waste a second of breathing time."

Mustang leaned back away from the window, turning around slowly before sauntering back to his desk. As he fell back onto the chair, he let his head clunk onto the wood.

Hawkeye watched him for a moment, not surprised by his behavior, but not accepting of it, either. Glancing at a pile of papers on her desk, she smiled to herself and remembered what she had come to the office for in the first place. Standing and picking up the Flame's paperwork at the same moment, she quietly walked over to his desk.

"Sir?" Riza said, and received no answer. With a sigh, she picked up his head, placed the paperwork underneath, and let his head fall back down. She got no reaction from Roy, who seemed to have had his fill of the real world for one day.

"I need some coffee...Lieutenant?" Roy moaned tiredly, not moving from the position his subordinate gave him.

"Yes, Sir," Hawkeye replied quietly, turning her back to him. Mustang breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the click of her boots echo on the hardwood floor, and he opened his eyes. He lifted his head and let his gaze wander to the outside world; to put things in a more specific way, at the entrance gate where a certain Elric would be arriving soon.

As soon as the blonde woman thought she was out of ear shot of the colonel, at the door, she let her thoughts slip loose into words. "If I'm going to have to put up with any more sexual tension between those two…" Riza muttered well under her breath, knowing better than letting Roy hear what she had just said. It had been going on for well over a year now, the both of them dancing around each other, and while every now and then one of them would land a solid blow it wasn't enough to get them to admit what they felt. As she opened the door, she heard a loud noise of disgust.

"I HEARD THAT!" Roy bellowed, jerking his head up to give her the stare of death. But, as quick as he was, the door to his office was already shut. He growled and plunked his head back down.

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A very pissed off looking Edward Elric sat with arms defiantly crossed, carelessly seated on one of the two leather couches that were place in Mustang's office. His braided blonde hair was tousled from the walk to the military station, and he was still wet from the downpour that had started not ten minutes before he arrived. Even though his everyday look was relatively normal, his striking golden eyes were looking for blood.

"Why do I even have to come here in the first place?" He grumbled loudly, shooting an 'I-hate-the-world-even-more-than-I-normally-hate-you' look in the colonel's direction.

"Because I'm your higher-up. And it was an order." Roy was calmly sitting at his desk, hands folded under his chin as he gazed at the teen. He felt Edward's strong eyes piercing him right back, and he could also feel the resistance Ed was creating in the air. Closing his dark eyes, the colonel felt another horrible headache coming on; he found it humorous to call them 'Ed-aches' though he never dared to announce this out loud. He rather valued his life, and his current Ed-ache was enough of a pain without having to deal with whatever Edward would be glad to dish out onto him.

"Psh..." Was all Roy got in response, a then a loud sneeze as Ed lurched forward. His eyes were closed for another three sneezes, and when he finally stopped, the younger alchemist had to catch his breath. The colonel was failing miserably at the laugh he was trying to hide. With his ebony eyebrows quirked curiously, the man forgot that just putting a gaze on Edward was the wrong thing to do. The kid was quick with the comments, and the backhand he laid out on Roy was quickly given.

"What are you staring at?" Ed growled, coughing twice soon after. They were deep and raspy, not quite what Roy would think of as 'healthy-sounding'. But then again, did coughs ever sound healthy?

"Not staring, just looking," Roy countered, replacing the flush of his cheeks with the coolness of the back of his hands. If he could survive this meeting with Ed and escape without embarrassing himself noticeably, or any bruises, it would be a miracle. "And besides. You know perfectly well why you're here. I need that report in; it was due days ago."

"I've heard it all before..." Ed grumbled, flicking his damp golden hair over his shoulder. His tawny-colored eyes sought comfort from the colonel's gaze by staring at a nearby wall.

"Then do you have the report?"

"Yes."

"Are you prepared to hand it over?"

"Yes."

"May I see it?"

"No."

Roy was taken aback slightly, but not in a big way. He had fully expected Ed to try and play his little mind games, so the older man wasn't surprised when the teen playfully refused. With a deep sigh of frustration, Roy looked to the blonde, who yawned to spite him. "Fullmetal. The report. Now."

Edward idly leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes, clearly ignoring his superior, a pleased look coming upon his face. Grumbling many colorful words, Roy pressed two fingers to the side of his throbbing head. "What do kids like? Candy?"

"For the last time, I'm not a GOD DAMN KID!" Ed ranted, giving his superior a pissed look. A mixture of disgust and bewilderment shone on Roy's face, and his black eyebrows were furrowed to match the expression. Ed had to admit...the colonel looked...slightly intriguing when he was angry. Ed flushed slightly at that thought, quickly turning his head away.

"This is the last time I'm going to say it. Give me the report, and the faster you do it, the faster you can get your ass out of here and home," Mustang sighed, pointedly looking towards the door. The younger alchemist followed Roy's gaze, shaking his blonde head before shifting around a bit.

Reaching into a pocket, Ed produced a thick bundle of papers stapled together quite a few times to get it to hold. With a snort, he pitched them at the older man, crossing his arms afterward. Without breaking his stare on the teenager, Mustang stuck his hand out and snagged the report in his hand, bringing it down to his desk without a sound. Still staring, he smoothed the papers out, and waited for the response he knew Edward was balling up inside.

Grimacing, Ed flicked himself on the forehead and sighed. "It's not like I have anything to look forward to." At those words, Roy detected a faint hint of sadness in Edward's gruff voice. He gazed up curiously, only to see the blonde's head turned slightly away, but his eyes looked so...lonely. Cocking his head to the side, Roy wondered why.

"What about Alphonse? Thought he'd be staying with you since he got his body back," the man spoke, leafing through the last few pages of the report in disinterest.

"He was going to, but Al's decided to stay at Risembool and recuperate there for awhile. He's been gone for about..." Ed paused, counting silently, "Three weeks. Thought everyone knew." Letting his counting hand drop, Ed sighed in boredom and unfairness of it all. Roy sighed at his pathetic attempts to keep the office away from the eerie quiet feeling. If Riza had been in the room, she would have sighed about there not being a reason to bring her gun out on the two men.

"Well, we obviously _didn't _know you have been here without your brother. Do you think it wise to leave him without proper security?" Roy snapped, all too aware that he was setting foot on forbidden ground, but not bothering to stop himself. Was Edward aware of how dangerous it was out there? Did he honestly think that little of all the years the two had put together to get Al's body back?

Ed sent a rather perturbed look Roy's way. "Do you really consider Alphonse to be so helpless? I've never beaten him once in a sparring match, and if you recall I kicked your ass a couple of years back."

The colonel, who had been flicking through the pages of the blonde's report and ignoring what said alchemist had to say, frowned. "Looks as classy as ever, Edward. Are you naturally left-handed, or is it just an on-going joke you've been keeping to yourself?"

Edward's head snapped up, bangs flying into his face and for a moment shielding his eyes from Roy's view. The boy brushed them away in what looked to be a reflex, as his angry expression didn't so much as falter. "At least I can write more than two sentences without getting distracted."

Roy, knowing he really shouldn't press the issue if he wanted to get his headache to go away, couldn't find it within himself to help it. For some reason that Roy couldn't put a finger on, he felt that the intricate balance of friendliness and insult that they shared could be easily upset. At one point it time, he had gone along with it out of true feeling, bickering with the golden boy any time they were within reach of each other. But slowly, over time, he had felt something else rise within him, something that wanted to stop the insults where they lay in his mind, and perhaps carry on like decent individuals. But Edward himself showed no signs of wanting the same, and so the backhanded way they danced around each other would have to continue.

The colonel smirked, looking up from Ed's report but making a gesture that suggested he was underlining words. "Those two sentences don't count if they're nothing more than a doctor's hasty prescription."

"You know what? I swear you just make me come in here so you can feel like you've got at least some sort of hold on me, Mustang," Ed griped. He snapped his fingers, a look of mock surprise on his face. "Or maybe His Excellency thought it amusing to force his young subordinate to walk in a torrential downpour?"

"No way to speak to your superior, Fullmetal," the Flame chided, his depthless eyes holding Ed captive. They stayed that way for a few moments, Roy's smirk slowly growing wider as Ed slowly became more flustered. A blush spread high across the boy's cheeks, but he snorted and became quiet nonetheless, turning his attention back to the military issued pocket watch in his hands.

Roy quickly uncapped one of his many black pens from its cup (_thoughtfully_ kept full by Riza) and scribbled a messy signature out on the last page of Edward's report. He was feeling too lazy to really read through it all, but just for the simple fact that the teen had actually _turned in _a report, he was satisfied. When the signature was complete, Roy dumped the pen not so kindly into the cup, and then pitched the report at the pile on the other side of his desk. Thus, considering he hadn't had his required five cups of morning coffee, was a very big pile.

"Other than the obvious issue, this looks good, Fullmetal. But, I do request that you stay here until Hawkeye returns from her duties," Mustang informed Ed, who was still slightly out of it and looked up as if this was something new and a ridiculous request to boot. Shaking his dark head, the older alchemist rested his chin on two hands, face blank.

"_Why?_" Ed's voice had a touch of a whine to it; just enough to be heard. The teen frowned at himself, clearing his throat as he felt his face heat up _again._

"I already told you beforehand; I'm your higher-up, and it was an order. Lieutenant Hawkeye shouldn't be much longer, anyway," Roy replied coolly, ignoring the immaturity in Ed's tone of voice. His statement wasn't exactly a lie, besides the fact that Riza was probably going to be awhile more than 'just a bit longer'. And if he was going to have to be in the same room with the teen for awhile, he was going to make it as bearable as possible. Even though Roy didn't really mind being alone with the blonde, he still didn't want to be beaten and/or killed just because he decided to poke fun at Ed.

"Whenever you say that, Mustang, there are always three or more good reasons to doubt you," Ed grumbled softly, just loud enough for the colonel to hear. And of course, he portrayed the innocent boy who never meant to let an insult as such to be heard by the man he was insulting. It wasn't the risk of being yelled at or punished, but the simple fact that Roy could come up with a cleverer, pride-bashing statement made Ed try to play the role of the good guy. Cocking his blonde head to the side, Ed drifted his gaze away from Roy's.

"She's my second in command; it's necessary that she looks over these reports." The dark haired man countered, keeping his eyes solely on Edward. He wasn't stupid, let alone deaf, but he didn't feel like arguing. The mind-prickling headache was turning, slowly, into a migraine, and Roy was about to climb up the wall.

"What you mean is she needs to look at the stuff that you don't feel like doing?"

"Precisely."

Ed growled his displeasure, slumping down into the couch until his feet could actually touch the floor. However, his black leather pants decided to stick slightly to the couch, and since he wasn't very fond of having material jam up in certain areas, Ed was quick to resume a sitting position. Drumming a gloved finger on the couch, Ed opened his mouth in an attempt to complain. But he was cut short by the slam of an office door and the soft thuds of military boots on the floor. The blonde froze, a look falling over his face that read something along the lines of, 'shit, not the trigger happy lady'.

The blonde woman serenely walked by Ed, balancing a cup of coffee in one hand and carrying an extra stack of paperwork for Roy in the other. The teen snickered as Mustang visibly paled, possibly because of Riza and her gun, the paperwork, or perhaps both. A bullet whizzed past the blonde alchemist's head, embedding itself in the black couch right above his left ear. Edward stiffened instinctively, snapping his mouth shut and not bothering to regain any dignity. A single choked cough escaped his lips, but nothing more.

"That's a good boy." Riza smiled sweetly, clicking the safety on before turning to the black-haired alchemist and setting down his long-awaited coffee. Ed's golden eyes were wide, and they stared at Roy as the man paled another few shades. The blonde almost snickered again, but as soon as his mouth opened, Hawkeye clicked the safety back off.

"You wanted to see me for something else, Sir?" Her innocence seemed to give the colonel enough confidence that she wasn't going to shoot at him, but his nod was carefully slow. Roy's hand snuck towards the report, grasping a hold of it before handing it over to Riza.

"Please look over Fullmetal's report for me, Hawkeye. The First Lieutenant's signature is also required," Roy explained unnecessarily, taking a sip of his coffee as Riza plucked the report from his hands.

"Of course, the colonel is required to read it himself. Hopefully, you _did_ read it," Riza snapped, quirking an eyebrow as a guilty look filled Mustang's face. Ed grumbled to himself, feeling it was now safe to move, and began drumming his fingers against the couch. The sudden ring of the phone caused the young alchemist to flinch in surprise, but Roy graciously grasped it and shooed an extremely annoyed, but knowing, Hawkeye away from his desk.

Sighing and grumbling to herself, the First Lieutenant swiftly walked out of the room, report in hand, and quickly closed the door behind her.

"Hello, Colonel Roy Mustang speaking. Yes...yes, he is here. Do you need to speak to him, Miss Rockbell?" Ed jerked his head over toward the Flame alchemist, his eyebrows dipping down in frown. Seeing that he had the blonde's attention, the dark-haired man motioned for the teen to come over. Jumping to his feet, Ed hastened his pace towards the colonel's desk, biting his bottom lip lightly. Roy solemnly handed the black phone over to Edward, their fingers brushing slightly. Ed blushed a deep crimson, turning away in embarrassment as Roy smirked. Glaring at nothing in particular, Ed fumbled with the phone slightly before holding it to his ear.

"Winry?" Ed breathed, catching unwanted attention from Roy, who stared curiously. The sound was very faint to the two other officers in the room, but the noises coming from the other end of the line was obviously from someone sobbing. Edward's gloved hands slipped slightly on the phone as he stood beside Roy's desk, the older man leaning forward in his chair. "Winry? What's wrong? What's happening? Is it Al? Is he okay?" Ed asked, his heart beginning to thump in his chest. Sure, the mechanic cried a lot, just not with this much panic and sadness; something was seriously wrong. "Winry, what's happening? Tell me now!"

Roy folded his hands under his chin, listening to the voice on the other end calm down slightly, and then go quiet. The silence spread through the phone and into the office, a blank look traveling into Ed's expression and silencing him totally. Seconds slowly ticked by. A minute. Two. "Yeah. Yeah, I heard you, Win. Shh, please...please stop crying, you're going to break me." At the last word, Ed's voice cracked, and his hand flew to his eyes. "N-no, no, I'm fine, stay home. I said stay the fuck home! Yes I'm serious! Don't you dare come out here! You hear me? I'll be in touch soon, I've got to...got to go," Ed whispered, taking in a big, shaky breath and letting it out quickly. "I know, Winry. Talk to you soon." But he didn't hang up at first, not until Roy could hear the other end of the line click, and even after he heard the outrageously annoying trill that signaled no one on the other line.

Roy's eyebrows furrowed in worry. "Fullmetal?"

Ed failed to answer, but a look of despair slowly crept its way into his eyes. He felt his throat get tight, tighter, tighter even, until he cracked. The phone found its home soon enough as he slammed it down into the cradle, and only then did he remove his hand from his face. Roy's eyes widened. The glove was wet. And not from the rain, no, they'd had time to dry. Tears had done this.

This was not the first time Roy Mustang had seen Edward Elric cry. The boy had been crying the first time they'd met, bandaged and bleeding and screaming at the top of his lungs. He had been crying after the battle on the train, holed up in a bathroom stall, not able to deal with what he'd just gone through. He'd cried when he'd seen what remained of Nina and her dog on the alley wall, when he saw the little boy's dead mother that reminded him so much of his own, and when he had barely escaped death from Barry the Chopper.

But this was different. Something was wrong, seriously wrong, and the Flame could easily read it in his young subordinate's eyes.

Edward could feel his face grow hot, tears threatening to overflow as his head fell, mouth opening but no sound coming out. His blonde bangs shaded his face, and a muffled cough turned into a small cry. "Elric?" Roy tried again, standing and leaning over to the teen, lifting Ed's face with his thumb. Ed jerked away from the touch violently, his golden eyes tear-washed and glazed.

"D-don't touch me. I've got to go, I've got to leave, now," he whispered, stumbling away from Roy and his desk and the telephone that never seemed to give him good news, stumbled along until he got to the couch, grabbing on for dear life and clutching at his chest. He couldn't let go.

Roy pushed his chair back and swiftly made his way over to Ed, a little voice in the back of his mind telling him that maybe he should have called for Hawkeye, that he didn't know how to deal with this, and something very, very bad was about to happen.

"Al was gone. Missing...for a week...he's dead..." Ed coughed painfully a few times, another choked cry escaping him. "Didn't know...I didn't know...he's gone...Al...he's...Al's dead!"


	2. Chapter 2: Say What?

**A/N:** I'm aware that I am the devil, and most of you would agree. But I'll make it all better, I promise.

**Special thanks to:** xxFaiaxx, Belletiger, SilverAkita, WhitePillow, Shuichi-Neko, TehDonutSecks, Kyo Akiyamako, tastyfacewash, Chibi Tsuki Hikari, PyschoAnime, PutThatAway, BitterSweet-SweetlyBitter, new_moongirl, fullmetal 4eva, xXArykaLachlanXx, DunTouchThat, Daniel Deathnote, ToraChibiChan, klueless, notgoingtotellyou, daisukiangel42, liliwick_the_WORD, Redkenja, Honor, DDA, zerine, PuRE'Curse, Blue-Vial, xToxic-ShockX, Meyham, Azumizai, Kichi Tsukima, , EvilAngelofHeavenandHell, Ining-Batong, Hawk Cold Eyes, and Mama Muse. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

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**Chapter 2: **Say What?

Time seemed to stand usually still, with the two occupants in the room caught along with it. The only sound that could be heard were panicked and pained breaths Edward was taking as he cried, not caring who saw. "Can't...be..." The blonde whispered hoarsely, taking in a shuddering breath afterwards. "Can't be... gone...no...not now..." Ed whispered fiercely, choking and coughing again, clutching at his throat gently.

"D-dead?" Roy asked bluntly, his dark eyes becoming wider and filled with disbelief. "Alphonse is dead?"

Ed weaved slightly, the silence filling the room becoming a silent 'yes' to Mustang's question.

Removing his hand from his throat once the spasm in his chest was over, Ed gently moved the glove up his face until his covered his mouth, letting go another sob. Chills went down his spine over and over again, as if they were a never-ending pattern of pain and confusion. "Damn it... fuckin' damn it..." The blonde breathed, his raised voice muffled behind the palm of his hand. Stumbling past Roy in a daze, Edward halted about five feet away, letting his hand fall as his body began to tremble.

Shaking his head, Roy felt his heart ache slightly for the poor teen, the Fullmetal Alchemist, his unofficial enemy, and yet...

"Edward, I'm sor-" The colonel didn't have a chance to finish his sentence before the blonde whirled around and hit him full force. But not with his fists, like Roy had been expecting. The blonde more so ran into his superior, forcing a surprised Roy a few steps backward. Ed clung desperately to Mustang's blue uniform, burying his face into the older man's stomach. Said man inhaled sharply, arms flung out in front of him and dark eyes wide. The world didn't make a sound apart from each breath they took, the sound of fabric against fabric.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with the world?" Ed whispered, unaware of the true fact that he was actually _hugging_ the Flame Alchemist. The tears built walls in his vision, wanting so badly to be released, and blinding him to nothing but a blur of blue when they didn't get their wish. "He was the last thing I lived for. The_ only _thing. All those god damn years we spent. And now he's been taken from me. _Everything_ has been taken from me."

Slowly looking down, Roy watched the blonde bury his tear-streaked face into his uniform, as if hanging on for dear life. And that's when the colonel, eyes wide as it dawned on him, realized that he _was_. This alchemist latched securely to his middle wasn't an adult, and he'd nearly forgotten how much of a child still remained in Edward Elric. Children can't heal themselves; they _need_ something to hold onto. They can't be left to fend off the demons for themselves.

Hesitantly, the colonel brought his arms down and rested them on Ed's shoulders, pulling the boy into a warm embrace. "Fullmetal..." He whispered quietly, listening to the harshness of Ed's breathing.

"He can't be gone...there's...can't..." Ed whispered, his knees buckling underneath him. Roy sank down, almost to his knees as he felt Ed going down. The Fullmetal Alchemist wound his arms around Roy's back, and the older did the same.

"Shh..." Mustang whispered as the blonde laid his head on his sturdy shoulder, choking on his own breathing in an effort to refuse crying. The colonel let his eyes drift shut; both of the alchemists forgot about their differences, who was who, how they were supposed to be. The teen's hair smelled sweet, almost like a mix between honey and metal and rain, things Roy had never experienced rolled into one. And as he relaxed, he felt Edward slowly doing the same at his touch, leaning into him for comfort.

"I always I promised..." Edward said, trying to gain control of his labored breathing. A light-headed feeling settled upon him, and the blonde hung tighter onto to Roy, as if he were afraid of falling. Falling and not being able to pick himself up this time. Holding back his sobs, Ed felt himself being lifted up and away. He panicked.

"Couch...You need to sit down," the colonel informed, slowly standing and taking the Fullmetal with him. Ed began to struggle when another coughing fit took a hold of his chest, so he could do nothing but allow himself be carried away. A dizzying sensation filled his head, so the small alchemist clung tightly onto Roy's uniform, fearing that he might fall if the older man should release his grip. The Fullmetal allowed a single confused groan, eyes twitching as pain flew through his body.

"H-hurts..." He wheezed, and Roy paused over the couch, narrowing his dark eyes down at the blonde. He had expected Ed to fight his hold a bit, but not be hurt by it.

"You hurt?"

"Ch-chest...head...ev-everywhere..." Edward panted, muscles contracting as he began coughing again, bringing his metal arm to his mouth in hopes of stopping it. He felt himself being gently lowered, and hesitantly let got of Roy's uniform. Ed jerked when he hit the chilled couch, not yet warmed by his body. The blonde felt himself involuntarily fighting Roy as he tried to curl up, and yet the colonel wouldn't let him.

"You need to lay out flat. I know it might not be comfortable, but you need to relax." Roy brushed a hand over the teen's pale cheek, causing Ed to look open his golden eyes. Single tears still fell, confusion and stress radiating from deep inside of the boy, his brow furrowed as he fought back more sobs. "You need to stay down for awhile. It's shock."

"It's m-my...fault...I know it...is," Ed whispered, choking on the words as if they were bitter to the taste. Squeezing his eyes shut as hurt gripped his heart, another tear slid down his cheek. "My...fault..." The Fullmetal's hoarse voice tugged at the dark-haired colonel's sensitive side, and Roy had to clear his throat to think straight.

"Edward, look at me," the older alchemist commanded, reaching down a bare hand and cupping Ed's chin. "You _are not_ to blame for this. _Nobody_ is to blame for Al's death, except for the cause. I don't want to hear you say that again. That's an order; understand?" The man stared deep into Ed's eyes when they opened again, but Roy could tell that the boy was barely paying attention. Sighing to himself, the colonel carefully let the teen go, only to be answered by a cry of pain at release. Apologetically stroking the young man's silky hair, Ed's superior mulled over what was to happen now in his head.

"We're going to need you to give us details on what Miss Rockbell told you. We are also going to need to send off a team to Resembool, collect evidence, we may need to hold you and the Rockbells in custody…" The colonel let his voice fade off, his point of vision directed to Edward, who was looking a little lost.

As if on cue, Edward felt his mind fizz over, and go blank.

"Where am I?" He whispered, hissing as the fire went from his heart to his shoulder. Roy gave the boy a blank look.

"What do you mean, where are you?" The dark-haired colonel questioned, eyebrows furrowed as Ed turned to look at him, no recognition evident on his tear-streaked face. "Edward follow my hand," Roy ordered, moving his hand, slowly, back and forth across Ed's frame of reference. He realized, with growing nervousness, that the blonde couldn't keep up.

"What're…you doing? You're making me dizzy…" Ed panted, reaching out and grabbing Mustang's hand with his own. Roy, as much surprised as embarrassed by the action, jerked his hand away, not expecting the reaction he would get. The golden teen shouted and sat up violently, a wheezing breath caught in his throat.

"Can'tbreath…can'tbreath…" He gasped, attempting to clear his throat multiple times to no avail. "Damn it can'tbreath!"

"Calm down!" Roy commanded, laying a gently hand to the blonde's chest and nearly jerking away when Ed screamed.

"Please…don't…" Edward whispered airily, eyes filled with panic. "Just…h-help…can'tbreath…"

"Hawkeye!" Roy's deep voice boomed, echoing off the office walls. The pitch in his tone detected slight panic, and not a moment later did the first lieutenant show up at the door. "Military car! Now! Fullmetal'sintroubleandwe'regoingtothehospital!" Roy shouted quickly, tilting the blonde's head up so Ed was looking to the ceiling. Upon lifting his chin, Ed coughed a few times and began to breathe again, the labored wheezes not really helping him much.

A look of confusion and surprise crossed through her amber eyes, and Riza froze. She caught sight of Edward, gasping as he struggled to breath, sprawled out on the couch and unmoving. "Hawkeye, please!"

The sniper woman snapped out of her trance, looking from Roy to Ed, and then back to Roy. "Yes Sir!" She saluted, turning and flying out the door in a blur of blue and blonde.

Rigid and tense with fear, the colonel grabbed Ed's wrist and pressed his gloveless fingers to the cold flesh, hunting to find a pulse. Pressing his lips together, Roy mental cursed as he fumbled for the heartbeat. "Damn it…" He muttered, at last finding the vein that told him Ed's current pulse was far too weak and unsteady to be normal. "God, Fullmetal…what have you gotten yourself into…"

Ed could only choke and begin coughing, his body violently jerking with every cough. Growling, the older man fought to hold the spasming boy down, knowing that moving around so much could do much more harm than what was already there. A cry of pain filled the office, and then a scream as the Fullmetal's body convulsed sharply, leaving the boy shaking in its wake. "Make it stop! Please…m-make it go away," the blonde whimpered hoarsely, his voice stumbling in effort.

Roy forced himself to his feet, brushing Ed's bangs out of his eyes when he stood. The colonel stopped when he noticed that the golden eyes, normally so alive, looked distant and empty. But there was something else, something that made the man stop in his tracks. "Shhh…" The Flame whispered, laying a hand to the smaller alchemist's forehead, only to feel cold, clammy skin. "Weak pulse, cold, labored breathing…" Running a hand through his unruly hair, Roy's eyes narrowed as he caught sight of Ed's. "Dilated pupils."

Ever so gently, the colonel took the shoulders of Ed's red coat, carefully tugging down until the coat slipped free of the blonde's arms. Letting the coat lay beneath the pint-sized alchemist, Roy laid an expert hand onto Ed's chest, pressing down ever so lightly. Almost immediately the sick alchemist cried out and flew into coughing, trembling and shaking with the effort. "Don't...d-don't touch me! Can't breath..." Ed gasped, forcing his shaking arms to cling to each other.

"Sorry about that..." Roy sighed, pulling the red cloth back around the teenager in haste. Once it was up around Ed's shoulders, a grim Flame laid his hand back to the blonde's forehead, biting his tongue when he felt that it had grown colder. A sheen of sweat had formed on the younger's forehead, slipping down his face and mingling with the tears that were still falling. The Flame felt more helpless than he ever had before, only being able to watch his subordinate suffer until the car was ready. Watching, waiting; every time he looked to Ed's face, he had that same agonizing expression of pain.

"Damn, my cold…" Ed whimpered, cracking a honey-colored eye at Roy before squeezing it shut again.

"Not a cold Fullmetal…this is much, much worse," Roy corrected, shaking his head sadly and resting a comforting hand to Ed's shoulder. The blonde alchemist opened the eye again, only to show sadness, pain, and angst. "Something is in your body that shouldn't be there."

"It…don't matter…I don't go that eas…" The unfinished sentence stopped, and both of the teen's eyes snapped open, pupils slowly taking over all of the gold. Turning it to black; black as in darkness, as in sadness, as in death. Edward froze, his body going completely limp, along with his mind. His chest stopped rising and falling to the rhythm of his pain, his lips parted as if trying to take in air that his body denied him.

"Fullmetal?" Roy's nerves went rigid, and chill falling down his spine. No response; no bastard or Colonel Useless, no old man, and Roy would have taken any one of those and more in that moment. "Edward!" The man touched Ed's shoulder, shaking it, only to receive nothing. Panic exploded within him, un-tethered and allowed to rage throughout his body.

"Fullmetal, snap out of it!" Prodding the earlier sensitive spot on Ed's chest, the colonel received nothing but the twitching of aggravated arm muscles. "Fuck!" Without thinking, the dark-haired man threw off his military jacket, wrapping it around the boy's cold shoulders and lifting the lightweight into his arms. Riza met him at the door, dragging the senseless man towards the vehicle.

The hospital was five minutes away. With Havoc driving, they would make it there in two.

All he could do was pray to a god neither of them believed in.

* * *

Roy shifted uncomfortably in the blue chair, trying to find the most relaxing position on the hard piece of plastic. His unit filled the section of chairs at the other end of the room, either not talking or whispering in such hushed voices it was hard to understand what they could be saying. As the Flame paused to gaze around, he noted how the deep color of the military jackets contrasted with the ugliest white tile and walls he'd ever seen. Eyes forlorn, he looked down at his gloveless fingers, asking himself _why._ Why Ed? Why his brother? Why put them through all that, give them so much, and just to snatch it all away? Again?

Taking a deep breath, Roy raised a hand and rubbed his forehead with his fingers, trying to sooth the headache forming. After the young alchemist had ceased breathing, Riza had acted quickly and had Havoc bring the military car around and ordered them to the hospital. She herself had soon rounded up most of the team and loaded them into a second car, which wouldn't have caught up to Havoc's reckless driving even if they had wanted to.

Once Roy had arrived with an almost lifeless Edward, the blonde had been rushed off without a word to him of where they were taking the boy. Nurses had come to and fro to ask Roy questions and confirm that it was some type of foreign substance that had left Ed in his current state. And that's the way it had remained, for at least a good few hours. Apart from the questions about how long ago Ed had gone down and the symptoms that accompanied his sickness, nobody had spoken to him. He hadn't been in a hospital waiting room since he was eight; now he remembered why he hated it.

Sighing, the colonel let his arm rest beside him as he tilted his head slightly down. He might just be worrying too much...but...was this worry, or something else?

"Sir," Riza whispered, placing a gentle hand upon Roy's arm. Turning his face away to hide the pinkish blush caused by his last thought, Roy refused to look over until his skin had calmed down. When he averted his gaze to where her hand was resting, he noticed that he looked very out-of-place without his jacket. "Please don't blame this one yourself, Colonel." Surprised, the man opened his mouth to argue, but Riza held up her other hand, silencing him. "Even if you haven't yet, I know you will. It's your nature, and it's not going to end here. Just promise me."

Roy let his mouth close, turning his head away and down. "I can't promise anything. Fullmetal was my responsibility, and now he's in the hospital. I can't help but…if I had just caught on to those signs earlier than I did, then maybe…" He let his voice trail off, lifting his chin and staring straight ahead. "He had been feeling under the weather for awhile. I should have known that no cold lasts that long."

"Colonel, there are so many what-ifs in this situation. All we can do is be thankful that Edward is in good care now, even though he's not in the best of shape. He could be worse off right now if you hadn't figured out what it really was."

Roy sighed, trying to steady his somewhat worried breathing. "Why the hell is he still in the military, Hawkeye? He'd met his goal. He could have just thrown the re-enlistment papers away. Why was he still risking his well being for no reason?" He wondered aloud, pressing two fingers onto the side of his head.

"I…I'm afraid that is something that I don't know, Sir," Hawkeye answered, her eyes falling and face breaking into a frown.

"His life is far too valuable. Especially now," the Flame whispered, pressing two fingers to his temple. He could feel his pulse, racing and sputtering, and tried to calm himself down.

"I do really hope he is okay, Sir. Not only for his sake, but for yours as well," Riza quietly admitted, knowing she was treading on forbidden ground for the second time in one day, but feeling it necessary.

"Sorry?" Roy questioned, as if he couldn't believe his own ears.

Hawkeye, head high and expression stoic, opened her mouth to continue, but was cut off. A fairly young nurse hurried out of the office door and towards the rest of Mustang's crew. She held a clipboard to her chest and began speaking in a low, quick voice. A series of shaking heads came from each one, and the woman began to look flustered. Roy's eyes narrowed slightly when Havoc leaned forward, grinning like an idiot, and spoke to the nurse. A flush settled upon her fair cheeks, and she smacked poor Jean upside the head with her clipboard before returning quickly to the office.

"Roy Mustang?" A voice echoed throughout the room, jarring the colonel from his spying. An elderly man shuffled in, clipboard tucked securely under his arm. Roy nodded as the doctor looked towards him, and he stood along with Riza. The blonde First Lieutenant placed a reassuring hand on the man's shoulder as they walked forward, the colonel's heart in his throat.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Gray, and you are Roy Mustang, correct?" The doctor asked, shaking Roy's hand once the colonel was in reach. As the man nodded slowly, Dr. Gray slowly let Roy's hand go before moving his clipboard into view. "And you are?" He questioned, looking towards Riza.

"Riza Hawkeye. I'll be accompanying Colonel Mustang today," she stated, standing erect by Roy's side. Roy looked up solemnly and nodded, feeling a wave of sickness flow over him. The rest of the unit fell silent, each looking up from their seats and not daring to move a muscle.

"Alright then, Mr Mustang, Ms. Hawkeye. Please, follow me to Edward's room. I'm pleased to say we now have him stabilized. Just some matters I would like to discuss with you, since there were some complications during his initial care." The gray-haired man talked quietly, tucking his clipboard back under his arm in a hurried fashion. "Please follow me this way."

Roy sighed inwardly as they started off behind the doctor, his footsteps falling in line with Riza's, almost like clockwork. "Edward will be alright, won't he?" Riza demanded more than asked, her cinnamon eyes narrowing.

The doctor har-humphed and whipped out the clipboard, looking over it as they walked. "There's a good possibility. Wait till we get to his room, and I'll fill you in on all we have." Tucking the board back under his arm, Dr. Gray didn't even spare Roy or Riza a glance.

The halls felt unusually narrow to Roy that day, the grayish color making all seem smaller. He stared straight ahead in silence, yet his thoughts wouldn't stop whirling around the small alchemist. '_What happened...why his brother? Is Al the cause of everything? Or is Fullmetal actually poisoned? Could the same perpetrator be involved? Who would have done this to them?'_

The colonel sighed, shaking his head as the doctor took a sharp turn to the right, as which Riza had to drag Mustang back into line and out of thought. The nameplate at the top of the hallway read 'ICU'.

"Right here," Doc Gray stated as he stopped in front of a propped open door. The aging man himself entered first, obviously knowing what he was doing and what needed doing. Riza followed suit, her face not showing any emotions that she might have felt. The man paused momentarily only to get a quick look at a plastic sign that read 'Room #103' before proceeding after the two.

Stepping into one of the plainest rooms the colonel had ever seen, Roy immediately felt the stressful atmosphere in the hall change into tranquility. Although a good three-fourths of the room carried the hospital's signature white, a bedside table with a vase of flowers offered whatever little color it could. A few framed pictures hung delicately on the walls, but to Roy's disgust they were mostly of the human body.

The doctor stepped ahead of the perplexed colonel, his footsteps echoing through the room. Riza stood, unmoving, beside the man, her cinnamon colored eyes showing nothing of what she was feeling.

An unconscious Edward laid quietly on the bed, the sheets pulled halfway up his chest. The teen looked noticeably paler than before, with his golden hair pulled into a high ponytail instead of the usual braid. Sweat glistened on Ed's forehead, giving the furrowed brow the boy wore a look of pain. Roy felt his searing look soften as he caught sight of the few machines around the Fullmetal Alchemist, helping the teenager survive. A mask was placed over Edward's mouth and nose to assist his labored breathing, while two IV lines ran into one arm. Another machine beeped steadily, recording Ed's quick heartbeats and surprisingly not becoming an annoyance. Not being able to take in the scene for too long, Roy closed his eyes and turned away.

Gray, who had seen it all before, was unfazed and went about his business messing with the several monitors surrounding Edward. "We currently have him on a heavy sedative. For not being able to breathe and mostly in a state of unconsciousness, he could sure put up a fight. We thought for awhile that we were going to have to strap him down. He is on one IV for dehydration, and another for a strong antibiotic. His oxygen levels were very low, so he will be on supplemental oxygen until his own breathing can support him."

"What's happened to him?" Mustang thought aloud, turning back around to take another good look at Ed. Hawkeye shook her head slowly, fighting back the urge to do something; anything.

"Well, it's not exactly easy for us to explain," the doctor sighed, setting his clipboard onto the bedside table with a snap. "He has contracted definite poisoning, undoubtful really. When it kicked in, coupled with some sort of attack, Edward went into cardiac arrest. To put it in a way all would understand, he's just had a heart attack. The part we have to worry about is what caused it. If you would please sit down, I'll give you the gist of it." Giving the doctor an annoyed look, the colonel took his seat at a chair, one away from Ed, trying to get as close as he dared. Riza herself sat next to Roy, seemingly calm despite the earlier action.

Turning to face a worried Colonel and Riza, the doctor continued with a concerned expression, pushing his glasses father up on his nose. "We believe it was anthrax."

Roy's breath hitched in his throat and he looked back to Ed, who was still and motionless.

"You may already know, but anthrax causes an extremely deadly disease. Not many are known to survive it," Dr. Gray spoke slowly, coat swishing behind him as he walked over to the bed, opposite from Roy. "It is caused by spores in soil allowed to sit for several years. Or even areas, especially in a lab, where using things such as wild soil, or even the real deal, for experiments is not uncommon. Noting that Mr. Elric is indeed a scientist, a state alchemist nonetheless, it would be safe to say he picked it up in a laboratory of some kind, especially since the disease itself can't be spread from person to person." Reaching out to turn one of the fluid bags around, the graying man nodded and let go. "I'd say he picked it up around no more than a month ago."

"So it doesn't affect the victim immediately?" Hawkeye questioned, perching herself on the edge of the chair. The doctor answered with a shake of his balding head, adjusting a clip on the IV line with a snap.

"Our best answer would be inhalation anthrax. Inhalation can begin as a simple cold; headaches, nausea, coughing. But within the first few weeks of exposure, it will most likely turn into violent coughing spasms, breathing difficulties, and shock. Or, in Edward's case, cardiac arrest. For most, inhalation anthrax is deadly. We have yet to find an initial cure, but with a strong dose of antibiotics, he could pull through. Anthrax rarely acts right after exposure; it builds up its attack gradually and can hit harshly without any warning."

Staring hard at the ground, Roy clenched his fists. Raising his dark head, the colonel nodded, face hard. "Fullmetal went on a mission to inspect a lab being used illegally just over a week ago. He's been coughing and looking sick for the past few days, and I thought nothing of it; I just assumed he hadn't been taking care of himself again." Pausing for a few seconds, Roy inhaled slowly. "Today, he received the news of a death in his family."

Gray nodded understandingly. "Yes, that would certainly do the trick." He walked back to the counter and making a few more notes on his clipboard. "Now, about how this will affect him. He will have a weak heart, trouble breathing, and may end up being a bit slow while his brain heals. He may suffer changes to his personality during this healing period as well. Whether or not these changes are permanent is something we cannot predict. He may end up coming out of this a completely different person."

Roy felt a sort of sadness tug viciously at his heart, and he struggled to push it away. "When will we know if he's going to pull through?" The onyx-eyed man asked, turning his head to get full view of the small alchemist. The blonde's chest rose and fell rapidly, his lips barely parted.

"That's another point; we won't be sure. The cardiac arrest wasn't caused by the anthrax alone, I'm afraid. Mr. Elric went through some deep shock, perhaps a stress or panic attack. He has widespread, though extremely minor, brain damage due to the fact that he was deprived of oxygen. Coupled with the disease he has obviously contracted, medicine won't be able to work alone. He'll need more than that." Tapping the pen on his clipboard vigorously, the doctor stared intently at an uncertain Mustang and Hawkeye. "And there's a certain way that I'd like for him to be treated, since his case is so special. I've never had to deal with such a case like this, though I have used this method before."

"And that would be what, Doctor?" Riza questioned, raising an eyebrow. Roy's head swiveled, again, away from Ed and letting his eyes land on Gray.

The doctor, took a deep breath and grinned. "Well, he needs to have a completely stress free life, just relaxation. This is something that I doubt he will have in a hospital, considering his past…erm…records," Gray pointed out, making obvious how Ed would rather shoot himself than spend months in a hospital. "I don't see very many cases where we have to do this, but Edward is an exception."

Sighing, Roy rubbed the back of his aching head with one hand. "Just spit it out, Doc, I hate riddles."

A smile spread over the doctor's face, more so from amusement of what he was about to say. "We request that Edward be taken home with one of you; we had a nurse ask the rest of your unit, Mr. Mustang, and none were in the right place to care for our patient." Gray chuckled for a moment, ignoring the look Roy was giving him. "And I understand that this may prove difficult to arrange."

If Roy had not been so surprised at the doctor's orders, he would possibly have been pissed. But all too soon the news hit Mustang like a cast-iron frying pan; hard and heavy. "Taken home?" He asked, eyebrows furrowing, "Never heard of that one before. And I'm not really sure that I understand _why_."

Shaking his head, the doctor clapped his hands together. "We don't see it too often, either. Yes, patients may go home halfway through the treatment, but that's extremely common. We like to get them back to their normal lives as soon as possible, so as not to have problems later. The issue with Mr. Elric is the stress his body has already undergone. One more stress/panic attack like that, and so close to the first, would surely kill him. No doubt about it." Dr. Gray paused, scribbling a few more notes onto his precious clipboard. "So that leaves one of you to take him."

A weighted silence filled the room, Riza's eyes growing narrower the deeper she went into thought. Roy himself felt the rush of confusion and guilt overtake him, and that of another emotion he wasn't sure of. Especially when he looked to the small alchemist. Doing so, he saw Ed stir, uttering a quiet groan that was filled with so much pain. The colonel's eyes lost their stern gaze, and right at that moment, he knew.

"Keep in mind, this is a big job. He is going to need round the clock care, a clean and calm environment. He will need pills, shots, and feeding, much like a young child. The house he is in will need to be cleaned and have air filters installed. It will be work, but he needs this. He needs to be with someone who can offer it all to him."

"Doctor, I'm sure I can-" Riza began, knowing that the older man wouldn't exactly enjoy the Fullmetal's company. The surprise that overtook her was fast and caused her gaze to fly over to her superior. Roy was startled that his own voice had gone ahead without him, but felt that he was in the right place to say it.

"I'll take him home."


	3. Chapter 3: Tender Learning Care

**A/N:** Not a whole lot to say. Roy is rusty in the medical field, and Winry wastes no time dawdling at home. Oh, and I apologize to anyone who is needle squeamish. You can pretty much tell where that part starts and where it ends. Hehe.

**Special thanks to:** tastyfacewash, Chibi Tsuki Hikari, xxFaiaxx, ToraChibiChan, daisukiangel42, belletiger, BlackMercifulFaerie, xXArykaLachlanXx, Kyo Akiyamako, anmbcuconnfan, new_moongirl, thieman, J.M., Lurkinshdws, liliwick the WORD, Pyro Falkon, XxEdwardxIsbellaxX, PuRE'Curse, cookies worst nightmare, IRobbedRobin, , EvilAngelofHeavenandHell, Daniel Deathnote, PutThatAway, Ining-Batong, DunTouchIt, Hawk Cold Eyes, Mama Muse, Pyscho Anime, and TehDonutSecks. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 3:** Tender Learning Care

"The number one rule of sponge bathing," the nurse stated, though it seemed more of a question. She ran the soapy washcloth down Ed's lower right leg.

Roy raised a perplexed eyebrow and rolled his dark eyes to the ceiling, as if it held some kind of answer that he could throw out. Sadly, it did not, so he averted his gaze back to her. "Uh…?"

She smiled and lifted Edward's leg, running the washcloth down the back of it and leaving a trail of suds in its wake. The boy protested with a low whine, though it was muffled by his oxygen mask and was almost too soft to hear. And if the nurse heard, she paid no attention. "Always start with the cleanest part first."

Roy sat there, dumbfounded, as well as feeling like an idiot when the only response he could offer up was, "Oh."

It had been five days since Edward had been admitted to Central Hospital, and he was already showing improvement. The first milestone Ed had crossed was early in the morning when they had removed him from the Intensive Care Unit into a quiet room on the third floor. He was down to one IV line and only required his mask to be set at thirty percent oxygen, and according to the colonel's observations, the doctor was visiting his patient less and less. Edward preferred to spend most of his time sleeping, only stirring when a nurse came into the room to medicate or to feed him. Even then, it was as if he only cooperated to please them, and not because he wanted to. Despite it all, to Roy's untrained eye, Ed looked as sick as ever.

The colonel observed the nurse as she went to work on the blonde's foot, one hand pinning his leg down while the other cleaned between his toes. Ed's protests became louder, starting out much like a sob and turning into a soft, high pitched squeal. The nurse went about her work as if nothing was disturbing her, even though Ed had begun to attempt to pull his leg away, much to Roy's surprise. Edward hadn't made any attempt to move since being admitted, and Roy couldn't decide whether to be happy about him improving or worried yet that he may end up kicking his sponge bather in the face.

The blonde's nurse finished and let him go, but he didn't bother to kick out as soon as he felt the attentions to his lower extremity stop. His chest heaved as if a source worth mentally running a marathon had finally left him to relax. Edward's nurse dropped the sudsy cloth into its designated tub, and then picked up a clean cloth to dip in the rinsing water.

"Am I going to have to do this for him?" Roy questioned as she wrung the extra water out of the cloth.

The nurse shook her head. "Most likely, no. By the time you take him home, he should be able to do this himself." She ran the rinsing washcloth down his leg, effectively removing the suds. "All you need to do is set him up in a warm place, two tubs of water, washcloth, soap, etcetera. I would, however, hang around close. He is going to have the endurance of someone with mono for a long while."

Edward, who was looking less than pleased with the attention and who was witnessing said attention, stared at them with half-open eyes. Roy felt slightly unnerved by those eyes, so foggy and unfocused, as if he were in a permanent state of half-asleep. He began to wonder what the world was like to Ed; if everything looked like a picture taken without the flash, if he knew that he was all who remained in his family, or if he even knew what the hell was going on in the least.

Roy cocked his head to the side. "Does he know what's happening?"

"Yes and no." Edward's nurse dropped the rinsing rag into its bucket, and picked up a white fluffy towel. "Does he know what's going on? Yes. He is very aware right now." She ran the dry towel down his leg and quickly over his foot, only earning a leg twitch and a quick golden glare. "The question is more so, is he going to remember? Chances are no, he won't. He's only awake because I'm bothering him. As soon as I'm done, he will go back to sleep."

The Flame observed as she lifted Ed's leg and removed the towel from underneath it that had been collecting extra water, then laid it back down. She hung both towels over the table the tubs of water were resting on, and then pulled the sheets and blankets back fully over the boy. She then smiled and gestured to the head of the bed. "See?"

Sure enough, Ed's eyes had slipped closed again, his breathing even.

Roy raised his eyebrows. "That was quick. Is it okay for him to fall asleep so quickly?"

The nurse stacked the water filled tubs and gathered them into her arms, heaving the weight up with little effort. "When Mr. Elric first arrived, it was difficult to get him to wake up, period. The fact that he is now waking with just a bath is a very good sign." She walked to the bathroom and slipped through the door, the nurse's jacket tied around her waist billowing in her wake. The colonel could hear the sound of pouring water being emptied from the tubs before her return to the room a moment later.

"I'm not sure I ever asked your name," Roy said, rising from his seat beside Edward's bed.

She waved him off, one white gloved hand standing out against her dark blue uniform as her other balanced the now empty tubs. "I understand you may be looking for a handshake, but these gloves are filthy. Linda Saunders. Just call me Lynn."

The dark haired man nodded and stayed where he stood. He had dealt with far dirtier things, but Lynn had effectively carved a mental picture of 'yuck' into his mind. "It's nice to meet you, Lynn. Colonel Roy Mustang."

"I know all about you, Colonel," she said with a smile, tucking the wash tubs into a cabinet opposite the side of Edward's bed. She stood and straightened herself up, smile still in place as she looked at Roy. "And I'm not just here to give you a sponge bath show, you know."

"I didn't think you were," he laughed, his voice soft out of a habit of fear of waking the sleeping Fullmetal Alchemist. He clasped his hands behind his back and stood ramrod straight. "What will I be learning today?"

She pulled her gloves off with a snap, placing them in the trash beside the cabinetry before grabbing new pair from the box on the counter. "I'm going to give you a very quick overview of the most important things you will be doing while caring for Edward."

"Have you taken care of him before?"

Lynn smiled and winked, and for the first time Roy was close enough to see delicate wrinkles fan out around her eyes. He was initially a bit surprised, but soon realized that those with Edward's health status in mind wouldn't let Roy learn from any less than the hospital's seasoned best. "I have been his caregiver whenever he decided to pay this hospital a visit. He's one of my most regular customers."

Roy, satisfied by her answer, nodded in approval.

"Now, we're going to teach you the ins and outs of IV lines." She pulled set of keys out of her pocket and unlocked a drawer above the cabinet. It slid open quietly, and the colonel stepped closer to get a better look at what was inside. Several medical instruments gleamed at them from inside sterile plastic packaging, and white packets of gauze and alcohol wipes were stacked neatly to the side. Lynn removed a small container from the back of the drawer and removed two small needles. She placed the two capped needles on the table before pulling out a sterile towel, an alcohol pad, and a bandaid.

"Did you get any training on intravenous methods?" She asked, placing the medical supplies onto the counter top before closing and locking the drawer.

Again, Roy rolled his eyes to the ceiling, but it again blankly stared back at him. So he put on his thinking cap, the one he didn't find himself using too often, to pull the information from his past. "Minimally. Very crudely, to be specific, there isn't much time for anything proper out in the field."

Lynn nodded, her brown ponytail bobbing along, a small smile in place. "That's what I thought." She moved the hard plastic chairs on either side of the table to the front of the table, a couple of feet apart and facing each other. She patted the chair Roy assumed she wanted him to take a seat in, before she had herself a seat in the other one. "I'm going to have you practice on me. And don't worry, I don't bite."

Roy obediently lowered himself, sitting ramrod straight on the edge of his seat. He carefully observed as Lynn spread out the stark white towel, lying her left arm out on the cloth. When she sat up straight and looked expectantly at Roy, he began to feel nervous. "Am I going to have to start IVs on him?" He asked, trying to control his composure.

"Every week, you are going to have to switch the IV line from his elbow to his hand. This is to prevent swelling and pain. You may also have to restart an IV if it becomes loose from the vein," she explained as Roy removed his gloves in favor of the rubber ones she was holding his way. He quickly rolled up the sleeves of his dark navy military issued uniform before accepting the gloves from her. "Mr. Elric here has veins to die for. If you can get an IV in me, you will get one in him no problem."

Roy pulled the gloves on but failed to get them to snap (how _did_ she do that?) but gave a friendly smirk to play it off. "Show me how it works, Sensei."

Lynn chuckled lightly. "You are far too young and handsome to be flirting with me, Colonel. First things first, you need to clean the area you'll be putting the needle into. We'll be doing an inner elbow IV today, so go ahead and grab the alcohol wipe," she instructed, pointing to the object. The colonel gently picked the packet up and opened it slowly, as if it were a bomb that would explode if handled too roughly. He removed the moist wipe and covered Lynn's inner elbow in the cold sterile substance.

"Good. And here is the needle you will be using. You're right handed, correct?" Lynn asked, handing him the plastic capped needle. Roy nodded in affirmation, removing the cap as he thought he was supposed to do. "Good. You will be holding the needle in your right hand. Look at the needle, see how it is flat and hollow on one side? That side will be facing up."

Roy held the needle close and turned it around until he located the flat end.

"What you're going to do is take your left hand and press your four fingers below the inner elbow and grip with your thumb on the ulna bone, like so," she directed, placing his fingers at the spoken of area. "And apply pressure. This will cause the vein to fill, making it easier to locate."

The way she had held his fingers, Roy felt that he was being too rough. But perhaps it was just from his standpoint, and the fact that she was doing it for him was to show him how much pressure needed to be applied. And sure enough, after a few moments, he could easily locate her vein.

"Now, you are going to slide the needle in. Don't poke, don't jab, don't hesitate, and be firm," she instructed, moving Roy's fingers to hold the needle properly and showing him how to place it against her vein. The Flame could feel his heart beating a bit faster than usual, his nerves threatening to fray at the ends if he didn't just go and get it over with. Roy took a deep breath, opened his dark eyes wide, and pushing forward. The needle sank in cleanly

Lynn beamed as if he had just done her the biggest favor by sticking a piece of steel into her arm. "See? You're a natural."

Roy quickly took his hand back when blood began to drip out of the tube at the end of the needle. He had never done well with blood, sight or smell, and his experience in the military had not helped the peeve any. "Will he bleed?"

"Minimally. Just make sure to clean the area and stick a cottonball and bandaid on it, in that order," Lynn said, removing the needle and doing what she had just described. She showed him to cap each used needle before throwing it away along with the rest of the supplies, the colonel watching attentively. She removed her gloves and so he did the same, tossing them in the trash along with the used supplies. "You'll be a pro in no time."

Lynn stood from her chair and pushed it back up against the tan colored wall, untying the dark nurse's jacket around her waist and slipping it on. She motioned for the Flame to stand and so he did so, pushing his chair back as well.

"Edward is known to struggle when needles are involved. We will be sending you home with tranquilizers. These are far different from the sedatives you will also be receiving," she said, moving to Edward's bedside table. She unlocked the drawer there as well, pulling out a small orange bottle and shaking it in her hand. "These tranquilizers work quickly, but only for around 10 minutes, and he can receive no more than one per week, so you have to make the one count."

Roy slipped his plain white gloves on, rolling down the sleeves of his jacket and buttoning the cuffs. "Do I have to slip it to him?"

Lynn smiled and winked. "That won't be necessary. Just include it with his other pills. He may usually be intuitive, but keep in mind he is very sick," she explained, placing the tranquilizers back into the drawer and locking it. "His deductions are off, and his survival instinct is down. If he even thinks it, he won't say anything. Will you, dear?" She asked, ruffling the blonde's hair. He was again staring at them with half open eyes in quiet observation.

"Now then, injections," she said, turning to Roy, who was still standing stock still near the foot of Edward's bed. The colonel could have sworn he saw one of the Fullmetal's eyebrows twitch at the word 'injection', but he shrugged it off as just his imagination. "He will need one once a week as well, but it is intramuscular. Do you know what that means?"

The dark haired man nodded, pointing with his index finger to his upper arm. "Into the muscle, like a flu shot in the arm."

The nurse nodded. "Correct. If you are brave and quick enough, you should be able to get the shot into him no problem, without the tranquilizers. I know about you, Colonel, they say you have good aim."

Roy laughed. "If you want good aim, you should talk to my First Lieutenant."

"You really don't need that good of aim. As long as you hit his upper arm, you will be fine. And with those muscles, it would be difficult not to." Lynn pulled the sheet on Ed's left side down just a bit, as if Roy needed a visual of what the teenager's muscles looked like. Roy felt something within him twitch, suggesting that Edward's nurse was a devil in disguise, but he didn't quite know where that came from and so he dismissed it. She pulled the sheets back up, tucking them around Ed's shoulders. "Mr. Elric has really made his chances a lot better by being in such good of shape."

"Do I get to practice injections on you as well?" Roy asked with a smirk.

The nurse laughed, but waved him off for the second time that afternoon. "You sure are charming, but no."

Roy smirked in reply. "I trust that the rest of my skills will get a lot of practice?"

Lynn, who had turned her attention to Edward's IV bag, looked over her shoulder. Her face had gone serious, surprising the dark haired alchemist into mimicking her expression. "Colonel, after you undergo my nursing boot camp, you might as well have always owned the skills you will learn. In any case, he will be going home when he is out of the danger zone. We will see to it that nothing goes wrong."

* * *

Roy felt as if he never had a break.

It wasn't as if he was lazy, not really. Nor did he want to neglect his learning to care for Edward. Nor was he particularly sour about Hawkeye making him do his paperwork while sitting at the major's side.

But it would be just damn lovely if he could sit at the bedside of his young subordinate for a few uninterrupted hours while doing his paperwork.

He raised his dark head, mouth open to give lip to the person who dared butt into his quiet time, and then froze. A tall teenage girl with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes stood in the doorway, staring at him with an unreadable expression on her face. She came empty handed but with her disheveled appearance and tired body language, it was clear she had travelled a long way. And judging by her choice in clothing, she hadn't waited long after the funeral.

Roy stood and they acknowledged each other for a brief moment, the long silence stretching between them turning as cold as Central's wintry air. By the look of her in a short black skirt and a black long sleeved shirt, said air had not yet reached its icy fingertips to the village of Risembool.

And then she was moving, and she brushed by him, not evening bothering with a greeting or even a glance back in his direction. Not that he expected much, not since she had learned the truth. After it, it was his fault she was legally defined as an orphan.

Roy felt almost pushed out of the way as she wormed her way between him and the bed, so he agreeably backed up toward the door. She leaned over the bed and gave Edward a light hug, causing him to stir from his sleep. His golden eyes, as foggy and as distant as ever, blinked open and peered at her blearily.

"Ed," Winry Rockbell whispered tearfully, grabbing his hand and taking a seat in Roy's chair. Her other hand went up to stroke his soft blonde hair, a comforting gesture that even the colonel knew was useless. Perhaps it was more comforting to Winry herself, even though Roy knew that was futile as well.

Roy watched in surprised as Edward's blank expression went from recognition, to relief, and then twisted into sadness in a mere few moments. His golden brow furrowed, the corners of his mouth turned down, and his dull eyes became glassy.

"Oh Ed…" Winry said, choking on her words. She stopped running her hand through his hair to wipe at her own eyes, her small shoulders shaking as she struggled to hold it in.

Edward closed his eyes and the tears began to fall, but instead of turning away and hiding in shame like he usually did, he tilted his face toward her. She ran her hand through his hair again, tears of her own gently falling to the sheets.

"I'm so sorry Ed, I'm so so sorry," she whispered, grabbing tissues from the bedside table and dabbing away at the corners of his eyes.

Roy, who was feeling forgotten and intrusive, slowly backed out of the room. He stepped to the side so he was just outside the door, but out of sight.

"You've got to fight this, Ed. You can't just roll over now, you hear me? You can't leave me too," she asserted, pulling him in for another hug, a bit more fiercely then the first one. Roy was absolutely shocked when Ed lifted his automail arm, gently touching her on the shoulder in his version of a sickly hug. "If you die I'll kill you."

"Aunt," Ed said, his voice weak and raspy. Roy could barely hear more than a mumble from his standing point, but his childhood friend heard him as clear as day. Winry pulled away and looked at him for a moment, as if trying to decide what she should say.

She placed the damp tissue back onto the table, wrapping both of her hands around his one flesh hand. She nodded fervently, squeezing and releasing his hand as if trying to keep him with her. "Grandma is here too, she's here. She's just waiting for a few minutes, okay?" The blonde girl said, placing a hand on Edward's forehead. He closed his golden eyes but seemed to have gotten control over himself, as his tears had stopped falling. "She didn't want to see you cry."

* * *

Roy sat quietly in the waiting room, feet flat on the floor and hands folded in his lap. He sat as straight as he always did, his uniform outlining every confident and intimidating inch of him there was. His dark blue eyes observed the angry girl who stood in front of him, hands on her hips, who was not at all fooled by the confident, intimidating colonel.

"The doctor said you're the one who will be taking him home," she said coolly.

"That is correct," the colonel replied, the heartfelt part of his brain wanting to add more to his spoken sentence but the logical side knowing better than to get smart with Miss Rockbell.

Winry's arms crawled from being perched on her hips to defiantly crossing over one another. "My grandma and I will be staying here for his recovery. We're his family, more than you have ever been."

"I am aware."

Winry's bright blue eyes narrowed, and she jutted a hip out to the side. "We want to take him."

Roy's eyes widened in surprised, and he felt at a loss. One part of him was glad at the potential to let Edward go, to relieve himself of this burden that had so suddenly placed itself on his shoulders, and yet he felt something defensive, something that told him to fight. The young major was his responsibility, whether he liked it or not. And frankly, he hadn't stuck a large needle into a stranger for nothing.

"I'm afraid I won't let you do that, Miss Rockbell," he reprimanded, crossing his legs.

Winry's arms flew back down to her hips in pure anger, her body leaning forward threateningly, as if she thought it made her look bigger and scarier. However Roy knew what she was capable of but her tool belt was nowhere in sight so he felt almost safe. "Why not?" She snapped, eyes narrow. "He would be so much more comfortable with us! You've caused him and Al-" She cut herself off suddenly, blue eyes growing wide. It took her a moment to regain her composure, but her voice was noticeably lower. "You've caused him nothing but pain, from the moment you met him," she stammered, shaken by her slip up.

"By law, I am his guardian. And he will be much more suited to a clean house than an old hotel."

"Are you implying that my grandma and I would subject him to an unhealthy environment?"

Roy gave her a highly unamused look, his eyes falling to half lidded. "I am also implying that you would not have the proper training to care for him."

"My grandma and I cared for him when he was in worse shape. We cared for him after we attached his automail," Winry said harshly, her shoulders shaking in anger. "We are _not_ amateurs, Colonel Mustang."

Roy leaned his elbow on the chair's armrest, placing his chin in the palm of his hand. He regarded her through cold eyes. "You have dealt with highly outer physical ailments. This isn't a wound, Miss Rockbell. This is sickness, and he is on the verge of dying."

Winry's eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to continue, but another voice suddenly chimed in.

"I'm afraid that caring for him is out of you and your grandmother's best interests, Winry."

Both Winry and Roy's heads snapped up to the nearby waiting room doors, where a familiar figure stood. The colonel felt immediate relief, whereas the Rockbell girl took on an immediately defensive posture.

"Mr. Hughes," she greeted quietly, her arms dropping and muscles growing tense.

The glasses clad man raised a hand and smiled seriously. "I apologize for interrupting," he pardoned, his attention focused mainly on Winry, to the Flame colonel's relief. "You see, when something of this magnitude happens, suspicions are involved. Not later than Alphonse being discovered did Edward fall ill; this falls under the category of 'Possible Foul Play'."

"But isn't _he_ the one that sent Edward on a mission that got him sick?" Winry said accusingly, pointing at the colonel. Roy looked from her finger and slowly over to Hughes. Said man shook his head slowly.

"We can't be sure, Winry. Anthrax can lay dormant for months, and sometimes it can affect a person within days. The fact that Edward took sick so closely to Alphonse's death could mean there is someone out there who knows an awful lot about manipulating poisons," Hughes explained.

"But their circumstances are so different," Pinako cut in. Three heads whipped to the side to locate the small woman standing at the doors to the ward where Edward's room was. Hughes nodded, Mustang figured in a greeting more than agreeance, as Winry's grandmother slowly approached them with her hands behind her back.

"Which is exactly what a criminal would want us to think," Hughes pointed out as she came to a stop beside her granddaughter. Roy got to his feet and his companion moved to stand beside him, throwing him a quick wink out of the corner of his eye.

"Where are you going with this, Lieutenant Colonel?" Pinako asked, her expression unamused.

Said man took a deep breath, looking to Roy, and suddenly he knew. While the colonel felt some relief, he also felt some worry for what it would mean for Ed. To have just seen the two people he considered family, and then to have them just taken away would certainly not help his condition. Hughes looked back to the two women. "We believe it to be in you twos' best interests to go into hiding."

"No! You can't make us do that!" Winry defied, her voice shrill.

Hughes held up both hands, his voice low and soothing. "Winry, please lis-"

"No! We came all the way here to see Edward better! You would be taking him away from us, we wouldn't be able to see him. We wouldn't be able to go home!"

"Winry," Pinako said lowly, effectively quieting her granddaughter. She watched Winry for a moment, her brown eyes closing the silence. She then averted her gaze to the Lieutenant Colonel. "Mr. Hughes, you do realize what an inconvenience this would be for my granddaughter and I, do you not?"

He nodded in affirmation. "I do."

"We have family to look after. We have a dog sitting lonely in a hotel. We have a business to run," she continued, watching his face closely.

Hughes, who was used to be as stoic as a stone gargoyle, again nodded. "Yes Ma'am, I do know this."

"Then what do you plan to do about it?"

He removed his glasses and began to clean them with a cloth from his pocket. "We have several different ways to go about compensating you for the freedom you would be giving up." He slipped the spectacles back onto his face. "If you two would agree to come with me, we can discuss these things in private. You are wanted in questioning as it stands, so we would be killing two birds with one stone."

"But…" Winry began, her shoulders slumping forward.

"Winry," Pinako whipped lowly, and Roy admired how she was able to turn a girl so full of fire into a quiet listener. But Pinako's face softened at the sight of her granddaughter looking so defeated. "Winry, we need to at least hear what they have to say."

"But Grandma, what about Ed?"

"You know him, Winry. If we weren't being watched over, he would be ready to have another heart attack." She held out her hand in offering to the blonde girl. "Come."

Winry hesitated, looking from Roy, to Hughes, to her grandmother, highly unsure of the decision her family member wanted to make. She reached out a shaky hand, clasping her grandmother's in her own, lacing their fingers together. "Okay," she whispered, allowing herself to be towed behind.

Hughes led the way, giving Roy the "O-k" sign behind his back. Said colonel could feel the stiffness in his back start to recede, knowing he was going to owe the Lieutenant later but thankful for the fact that Hughes had won his losing battle. But as soon as Roy went to breathe a sigh of relief, Winry whirled on her heel and pointed a shaky finger at him.

"I still don't approve of you, Mr. Mustang," she whispered, blue eyes chilling his soul.

Even after she was gone.

* * *

Roy scribbled his signature onto what felt like the millionth document that day. It could have been about the importance of changing the light bulbs in his office before they caught fire and burned the entire headquarters down and he would not have given a bit of a damn.

Night had quickly swallowed the sleepy city of Central, though the clock on Edward's bedside table read that it was only 7:45 pm.

The only light in the room was a calm, orange glow from the night lights placed into the ceiling above the boy's head. Although it didn't make the best light for seeing, the colonel didn't dare to disturb the boy by flicking the fluorescent on.

"It's good to see he's doing better," Hawkeye said quietly, placing a hand on the teenager's check. She had shown up no more than a few minutes earlier, ready to collect the documents she had dropped off that morning. Luckily for her, just her mere presence was enough motivation for her superior to get them all finished. "How have you been? The office has been quiet without you this week and a half." She took her hand back and clasped both of them behind her back, looking to the colonel and cocking her head to the side.

Roy gave a small smile. "I'm sure you have something to do with that, Lieutenant."

Riza's lips barely tipped upward, but the colonel caught it as a smile nonetheless. "I might have." She walked back to the side of the bed at which Roy had his seat, stopping near the foot of the bed to regard both alchemists in one look. "I spoke to Doctor Gray on the way in. He says they will be releasing Edward in a few days."

Roy placed the finished document on the table with the rest, moving on to the next one. "You heard correctly."

"May I ask how do you feel about that, Sir?"

"I'm coping with the idea," he answered, scanning the first couple pages and placing a small check at the bottom of each one. He scratched his head and looked up to the First Lieutenant. "It's a bit nerve wracking," he confessed, ducking his head back down to the next page.

She nodded understandingly, sparing his embarrassment by picking imaginary lint off of her military jacket. "If it's any comfort to you, the cleaning crew will finish on your house tomorrow. All of the dust has been removed, air filters installed, carpets shampooed. He will have a clean welcome."

Roy shuddered. "The very thought of having strangers in my house hits a nerve, Hawkeye."

"It is in his best interests, Sir," she replied, deeming her navy jacket unmarred by foreign fabrics and averting her cinnamon gaze back to the colonel.

Roy rolled his eyes to the ceiling and flipped the report to the last page. "I know." He scribbled his signature without looking, closing the report and almost excitedly tossing it on top of the pile. He clicked the pen loudly, looking smugly to Hawkeye as if he had just done the best thing in the world. "I almost feel like I'm bringing a child home with me for the first time."

"In many ways, Sir, you are," she replied in earnest, plucking the pen from his hand and tucking it in her pocket. She gathered up the reports and neatly tucked them into her back, securing the latch to assure they would make it home safely. It would be such a shame if the colonel had to sign them all over again. "In any case, I was just going to pick up the papers you have finished and be on my way."

Roy sighed and leaned back, his head thunking soundly against the wall. He felt too relieved to care; his head already hurt anyway. "Thank you, Lieutenant."

Hawkeye lifted the messenger bag and slung it's strap across her chest, situating it so the padded area rested on her shoulder. As soon as she was settled, she stood straight and looked to the Flame Alchemist. "Are you going home tonight, Sir?"

The man did not bother to move, his dark blue eyes closed as if they were open he would just have a lovely view of the tiled ceiling that never gave him answers anyway. "We'll see," he murmured, knitting his fingers together behind his neck.

He heard her stand at attention and salute, but knew it was just a formality and felt no need to reciprocate the action. "Have a good evening, Colonel."

"Same to you, Hawkeye."

Her boots click click clicked on out of the room and down the hall. Roy didn't hear the sound of the doors whooshing shut, so he deducted that they have propped open the ward doors for the evening as they often did. No sooner did Roy lift his head and right himself did the small body next to him begin to stir.

The older man looked over, his dark eyes meeting barely cracked golden ones. Ed let out a low whimper and shifted under the sheets, his IV laden hand reaching out weakly. His hand fell back to the bed and he opened his eyes a bit more. His lids looked so heavy, the gold of his irises so dark. He made the sound again, eyes falling shut as he tried to reach out further.

Roy, his breath caught in his chest, hesitated. There lay the boy's hand, beckoning to him and begging for contact, and before be realized what he was doing his own hand was raised.

But he stopped.

Before shaking his head, and pulling the sheets and blankets back up and tucking them around Edward's shoulders.


	4. Chapter 4: Still Here

**A/N:** We might have a little OOCness, since Ed decides not to wake up for awhile and Roy talks to himself a bit...Riza is just, well, Riza. I don't have much else to say. Have fun.

**Special thanks to:** narutonarutolove, TehDonutSecks, Heachan, Psycho Anime, the-ice-cold-alchemist, Mama Muse, Ining-Batong, PutThatAway, foxy_crimefighta, Hawk Cold Eyes, IRobbedRobin, Angel Spirit, DunTouchIt, Dragonlady2000-15, Daniel Deathnote, PuRE'Curse, xXarkaLachlanXx, and tastyfacewash. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 4: **Still Here

"Sir, are you positive you want to do this?" Hawkeye questioned, opening the car door slowly. "I'm always free to-"

"No, Hawkeye. I'm sure," Roy stopped her mid-sentence, giving Riza a sad smile. One hand gripped the handle of a wheelchair, which looked quite beaten from years of use, and the other balanced a suitcase on his knee. A blonde haired boy lay in the chair, his golden eyes barely cracked open and clouded with a drug-induced fog. With his head bowed down and wearing an emotionless face, one could tell Edward was hurting and heavily drugged on sedation for the car ride, coupled with pain killers that weren't quite getting the job done.

Roy removed his wheelchair hand and gently brushed the hair out of Ed's eyes, since the man himself had put the teen's hair into a ponytail and hadn't made a very good job of it. "With you delivering my paperwork and me living so close, it'll be better suited for both of our time frames that I have him."

"Alright..." Riza sighed, backing away to open the door further. She soon let go and proceeded to help Roy with a suitcase from Ed's apartment, taking the leather handle in her hands and pausing briefly to look at the sleepy teen. Shaking her head in a disbelieved manner, she ducked into the back of the vehicle, tossing the suitcase up front to ride shotgun.

"He'll be fine, Lieutenant. You worry too much." Roy cast his eyes downward and to the side, getting a better look at Ed's face. It had been two weeks since he had originally been hospitalized, and he had steadily pulled out of the danger zone. When Ed could finally breathe safely on his own, sit up, and eat, the doctor had decided his recuperation at the Mustang residence needed to start immediately. Of course, during the time Ed was bound to a bed with little to no idea on what was going on around him, Roy had been there. Come to think of it, he had gotten more paperwork done in two weeks than he normally did in two months by being in that hospital.

Giving a small smile, the man let a gentle hand rest on the boy's head, causing Ed to make a confused sound and look up.

"At least I worry," Roy's subordinate snorted, retreating from the car with mixed emotions on her face. "I'm not even the one taking Edward home; look at you."

Roy was unusually calm and relaxed, casually dressed in faded jeans, a white shirt, and black jacket. He closed his eyes and smirked, shrugging his shoulders.

"Why should I be? If I worried, that would only make him nervous when the sedative wears off. And give me gray hair," Roy pointed out. "I know you don't want to see that." Lifting his hand from the blonde's head, the man took another peek at the younger alchemist. He saw that Ed had fallen into a light, possibly dreamless, sleep, face still highlighted with all of the emotions he'd gone through within the past couple weeks.

"What do you plan to do with him after the sedation wears off?" Riza questioned, crossing her arms and keeping her stern gaze on Ed.

"The doctors said he probably won't open up to me for the next few days. I'll just let Fullmetal go at his own pace, Hawkeye. And if needed, the doctors gave me more sedatives. Not to mention a huge bottle of painkillers, the wheelchair, and a few IVs that I have to keep going." Roy chuckled at his subordinate's grimace, but the colonel knew she trusted him when it came to his unit. Just to confirm her thoughts, he carried on. "Those nurses drilled me to the bone, Hawkeye. I've learned more about medicine in these two weeks than I have in my entire life. We will be fine."

Riza turned her head away from Ed, casting her eyes downward. "What about Edward's…what about his bro-" Hawkeye couldn't let herself finish the sentence before she began to get a bit choked up. Riza wasn't usually a woman to show her sensitive side, nor any relaxed one for that matter, but this was different. Al had been like a little brother to them all; the nicer one who didn't throw tantrums or the office into havoc.

Roy's eyes softened, an unreadable expression filling his face as he took another look at the teen. "I don't feel that it is my responsibility to bring it up. When or if he becomes ready to talk, I'll be there. And if he doesn't want me at all, then I'm sure we could arrange for Miss Rockbell to come see him." Both officers went silent, staring intently at Ed and listening to the slight heaviness to his breathing.

The colonel cleared his throat, and with a forced smile looked back up to the first lieutenant. "Ready for him?" He questioned, pushing the chair a little closer to the car.

"Be gentle," Riza automatically responded, standing solemnly by the car. The dark haired alchemist gave a small smile, turning the brake on for the wheelchair. With excessively careful movements, Mustang gently slipped an arm under Ed's arms and legs, picking the blonde up slowly and trying not to wake him. Ed stirred and groaned in his sleep, snuggling closer to Roy, who held him bridal style.

"I'll ride in back with him," Roy stated, cradling the frail boy in his secure arms. Smiling to herself like a child, Riza silently agreed with a nod. Roy stepped off the curb and to the car, bringing Ed closer to his body in fear of jarring the sleeping alchemist. He slipped easily into the seat, only having to duck for himself since Ed fit with no problem.

In a careful manner, the colonel slid Ed out of his lap and onto the rest of the backseat. Hawkeye had thoughtfully put in a comforter for the golden boy to lay on, a couple blankets to keep him warm, and a pillow. "Five star treatment, Elric," Roy whispered to the sleeping boy, finally settling the Fullmetal beside him and pulling the blankets over his frail body. Ed flinched in his sleep, a trembling hand clenched into a tight fist for a spell. Roy sighed and rested a hand over the blonde's, watching as a simple touch caused the teen to relax.

Roy heard the faint noises of Hawkeye folding the wheelchair and stowing it into the trunk. "Who knew Colonel Mustang had a soft side?" Riza solemnly teased, slipping easily into the driver's seat. A small smile was present on her face, with an expression in her eyes to match. Roy fought back a warm flush that started up his neck, leaning sternly looking at his knowing subordinate.

"Hawkeye, just drive," he commanded, though not moving his hand from Ed's, even with the embarrassment.

"Yes, Sir," the blonde woman responded, rolling her eyes and shutting her door as quietly as possible while also starting the car.

Roy met Hawkeye's look as she gaze into the review mirror to make sure there was no one behind her. '_She looks so smug about something...' _The dark-haired man thought, throwing his stare out the window instead of at his subordinate. Edward shifted a bit beside Roy, clouded eyes opening again to stare at said alchemist. The colonel looked down, noting that his hand was still covering the teenager's, and he quickly jerked it away. Even then, Roy couldn't drag himself away from Ed's blank expression; he felt lost in those eyes. So bright, yet so hazy from being numb for the last couple of weeks. Ed coughed a bit, his whole body trembling.

"You want the pillow, Fullmetal?" Mustang questioned, placing a comforting hand on the boy's head. "My leg might not be too comfortable." Blinking groggily, Ed tilted his head up to get a better view of Roy. At first, the colonel expected for the normal Edward to come back to life, smack him upside the head and pout in the corner on the other side of the seat. But Roy didn't expect the soulless look his subordinate gave him; not really living, not really seeing, but still there somehow.

Shaking his golden head a bit, realization crept upon Ed's face. Roy blinked his dark eyes a few times, noting the relieved looked that the blonde finally gave him. "Mmm..." Ed replied, making an attempt to speak, but only resulting in sounds at the back of his throat. Snuggling deeper into his now warm covers, Ed laid his head weakly onto the colonel's leg, lids immediately falling.

"..." Roy was bewildered, surprised, and strangely happy at Ed's actions. Although he didn't bother to place an arm around Ed's shoulders or something of the sort, Riza did catch the faint smile the colonel gave the blonde chibi.

"Mhm," she chuckled softly, turning back around. '_That's what I thought__**.'**_

* * *

Roy's house was no mansion, nor was it extremely fancy or overflowing with waves of fortune. It was only two stories tall, but well kept and beautiful in its own right. The great room the trio was occupying was spacious and bright, with tall windows facing the backyard and a large fireplace settled between them. The same fireplace where Riza stood with her arms crossed, observing Roy like worried mother hen.

Roy carefully pulled a second comforter over Ed, who was situated sleepily on the plush white sofa, so small a frail he barely made a form under the two blankets.

"Nothing to worry about, Hawkeye. We'll be fine," the dark-haired man informed, turning his attention to the IV stand beside him. Gently, and with Ed watching hazily all the while, Roy moved the teen's wrist into sight so he could easily administer the IV. Since the needle had already been placed and taped at the hospital, Roy quickly slid the tube into place, unclamping the clip and allowing fluid to begin dripping.

"I know. I trust you," she replied. Riza kept watching with an unreadable expression, nodding to herself as Mustang's skilled hands put the clamp further up the tube. "How long will Edward have to stay here?"

Roy shrugged, stepping away from the groggy boy as he finished with the IV. "A month or two or three, it really depends. The doctor said probably won't even be able to get him to talk for the next few days, considering the amount of shock and stress his body went through. The nurses just said to spend a lot of time with him; talk to him, let him know I'm here, the works," the colonel replied, stuffing his chilled hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. They had been there for no more than twenty minutes, so Roy had yet to turn the heat up. "His own pace."

The blonde woman nodded, crossing her arms over her military jacket. "If you need help with him, feel free to call me. I can take him in anytime." Riza sighed, knowing how stubborn the colonel could be about these things. And yet, it was much of his stubbornness to do what was right for those he cared about that she admired. Averting her gaze to her superior, she noticed the look of fondness in Roy's eyes as he watched Ed.

"It'll be alright, Lieutenant. We'll be alright," Roy responded, shooing the woman's worries away.

She closed her eyes and sighed. "I know, Sir."

* * *

Although he thought he'd bit the bullet (no pun intended), Hawkeye had not forgotten to push a few stack of paperwork onto the colonel before she left. Roy hummed quietly to the music flowing softly from the radio, scrawling a surprisingly neat signature onto the current paper. His feet were propped up on the coffee table in a casual manner, legs crossed and feet tapping the air every so often.

The colonel peeked over his work, laying the finished sheet down and grappling for a new one. Ed lay as still as ever, his breathing heavily labored yet too soft to hear. Roy's face fell as he watched, trying to force himself to concentrate on getting the paperwork finished instead. Yet, he couldn't help but look back to the short alchemist and just watch him. Ed's face twitched here and there, and the blonde shifted and mumbled inaudible words in his sleep. _'Damn it, concentrate.'_ Staring at Ed wasn't going to do the teen any good; it also wasn't going to do Roy any good, either, since Hawkeye had threatened to make him a woman with one bullet if the paperwork wasn't finished.

Skimming through the report, Roy scribbled a signature on the line and was quick to dump the paper into his pile of signed ones. The finished pile was amazingly taller than the untouched one, steadily growing at an agonizingly slow pace. Being in the house with a sick Edward, who caused him to look up every second or two out of worry, made the day trickle by at its own leisurely pace. One which made the older man curse the person who decided there would be twenty-four hours in one day.

Ditching his well loved pen onto the table, the Flame rolled his shoulders a few times, moving a bit to get some feeling back into his arms. Dark eyes took another look at the old grandfather clock, which read 6:26 p.m. despite the darkness that had already swallowed Central. Sighing as he relaxed his back, Roy yawned once and scratched his head almost nervously. Roy wasn't quite used to having someone else in the room, especially Ed, and especially an Ed that couldn't speak.

Heaving a great sigh, Roy stood up from the couch and carefully took his time to stretch out his legs a bit. Closing his eyes and leaning back, arms behind his head, Roy closed his eyes. He sighed softly, cracking a dark eye in Ed's direction. The blonde was still asleep, a peaceful look sneaking up on his face in the dim light.

'_You know...it kind of makes him look cute...'_

'_What the hell are you saying? He's not _cute_, he's _sick_; there's nothing cute about sick! And while we're still on the topic...he's a guy!'_

'_No denying it. And you know what I'm saying.'_

'_No, I don't_

'_You like him, don't you?'_

'_I hate to inform you, but I'm _straight.'

'_As an alchemy circle.'_

'_There _are_ straight lines in those circles.'_

'_You can't lie to yourself.'_

'_Watch me.'_

'_I am you.'_

'_I don't need to be reminded.'_

Roy shook his head to clear away those thoughts. Although arguing with himself wasn't that uncommon, the man seemed to always get a headache when Self #1(the one who liked to act impulsively) started to beat Self #2 (the one with some self-control and who was very big on consequences). Self #1 and Self #2 had been giving their opinion on Edward for the greater part of the year, though the colonel couldn't remember exactly when it had started. Not to mention why. It wasn't like there was too much appeal to Ed, who would have been more than happy to never see his superior officer again. But the two sides to him were persistent, so much so that the Flame wasn't surprised other people could see it, too.

'_You should go to him.'_

'_And then what?'_

'_I dunno.'_

'_Great plan. He's not even awake!'_

'_That's what he wants you to think...hey look! He's on your couch! Jump him!'_

'_Fuck you...I'll talk to him, just to make you happy.'_

'_Hey, when I'm happy, you're h-...well, you never are happy at all, are you?'_

Mumbling softly, Roy took a second to look at his shoulders. No devil, no angel...this was all in his head. '_Great. Just frickin' great. The little voices in your head were put there for good things, not to tell you to jump you're co-worker while he's asleep and sick and...male...' _The colonel paused at this thought, not wanting to finish the thought and yet not wanting it to die out either.

"Damn..." He sighed, giving in and taking a seat on the coffee table, across from Ed. Leaning back on his hands, Roy gazed intently at the golden alchemist, drumming his fingers steadily on the tabletop.

"Little pain in the ass. Look what you've done to me." The colonel rubbed the back of his head, waiting for a response. Of course, there was none.

"You gave us all a real scare, Fullmetal," Roy whispered, reaching out and brushing Ed's blonde hair out of his face. The teen twitched at the touch, leaning into Roy's hand as the colonel ran a thumb down his cheek. "We thought we were going to lose you." Gently running a finger across Ed's forehead, the dark-haired man traced an invisible pattern across the younger's skin. Ed whimpered in his sleep, gritting his teeth and throwing his head away from the soft caress. Lowering his hand with a defeated sigh, the colonel rested his chin on his palm and gazed at Ed.

"And to think all of this started with that stupid mission...you know, I was thinking of handing it off to one of the fresh, inexperienced alchemists. I thought about it, but I didn't do it. Why?" Roy talked to the unconscious teenager, thoughts whirling around and mixing themselves up inside his head. "I'm not exactly sure why...you hadn't been to the office for a couple of weeks, and, well...I guess I missed you, shorty." His dark eyes searched Ed's blank face, looking for a hint of anger or recognition. He got none.

"You're brother, everyone will miss him. I wish I had known he'd gone to Risembool...I would have been checking up on him. But then again, I suppose that's the reason you didn't want to tell me. Alphonse needed time away from here, to be with family and regain the sense of being human one little step at a time. I respect that decision, Fullmetal...I probably would have done the same thing." The music slowly died out, leaving the room in total silence, save for the ticking of the old clock. A few seconds of quiet stretched out, before the momentum picked up again and a soft new tune picked up.

"You're not alone...losing a loved one isn't that uncommon, but a brother that you grew up with and made a promise to...that's one of the most precious things there are." The colonel paused, letting his thoughts work their way around his mind. "The first time I saw you, lying in that bed, half-dead and barely breathing...I had no idea how you survived. But when I looked over and saw your brother, trapped in that suit of armor, I knew. And then I understood." Slowly Ed stirred, his hand moving across the couch to hang off the side, fingers limp and open. The blonde's eyes flickered, lashes dancing with each other in jagged movements. Roy simply regarded the movements with a soft stare, his eyes yearning to meet Ed's. And yet, although the younger alchemist was barely awake, he wasn't too keen on opening them yet.

"I had a brother once, he was eight years older than me." Roy stood, his face unreadable. He heard the shifting of Ed's body as the teen followed his movements, a fine slit of gold where his eyes were partially open. The man frowned, his face hardening as he walked over to the mantel. The warmth hit his legs as the older alchemist stood in front of the fire, his pale hand reaching out to gently touch a single picture. Running his fingers down the frame, Roy let out a held breath. Turning to look back at Ed, the colonel noticed both eyes partially open in some sort of curiosity. "Maybe we'll talk about it sometime," Roy said quietly, running a hand through his messy hair.

Gazing back over, the older man noticed that Ed had already fallen back asleep. A smooth line formed the teen's lips, frowning more so, but an impression of disappointment or aggravation. Most likely neither. Sighing, Roy turned fully around and walked back over to his couch, pausing by Ed's. A small, sad smile formed on his face as he brushed a lock of hair out of the Fullmetal's face.

"In all honesty, I don't know what to do with you. You've never liked me, and I can't say that I've helped that issue to do anything but grow over these years. We bicker, we fight, and I recall a fist or two coming my way. And here we are now, and there isn't any room to be how we were. All of the sudden, everything counts. This is real, and this is scary," Roy whispered, tucking the golden lock away from Ed's face. The boy's frown deepened and he tried to pull his head away, every muscle he used trembling with the effort. Roy placed a finger to Edward's forehead, holding him in place.

"You frown too much these days, you know? And it's weird, you know, but sometimes I catch myself, just wishing you'd smile."

* * *

Roy busied himself with opening a few tall orange bottles, struggling a bit with the safety lock the doctor had added onto it. The colonel, having no children running about his house nor being a drug dealing sleepwalker, had never bothered with these youngster tamper proof lids. And frankly, he didn't see how their presence made much of a difference. If Edward wanted to get into a bottle of them, it wouldn't take much more than a determined automail hand.

Or foot.

Roy's hand slipped off the cap again and he cursed, trying to wedge the corner of his coffee table between the topper and the bottle it was screwed on to.

The dark haired man heard a faint noise, sounding like a sharp exhale of breath through ones nose, as if the holder of it had suddenly found something to delight over. He looked up to Edward, who was sitting up but looking as delicate as ever, blankets pooled around his waist. His barren expression offered no hint other than a corner of his mouth turned up, just barely giving him away.

Roy smirked in his instinctual defense. "I doubt you could do any better, Fullmetal."

The faint look of amusement was wiped from the boy's face, and Roy almost felt something like guilt creeping up on him. His smirk disappeared as he turned his attention back to the boy's stubborn to get to medications.

After successfully detaching the caps from their anchors, the colonel tapped one of each pill into the palm of his hand, carefully tipping his palm to let them fall into a medicine cup. Gently plucking said cup as well as the glass of water he had earlier obtained from the kitchen, Roy rose to walk over and kneel quietly by the teenager's makeshift bedside.

The Fullmetal, who had been regarding him skeptically, leaned a bit away, dull amber eyes holding the other man captive. Roy was so close now that he could hear each quiet but painful breath the boy had to take, able to see each unpleasant rise and fall of his chest.

The colonel, unsure of how he was to truly go about getting the nurse-cooperative but not Roy-cooperative teenager to take anything from him, let alone a cup full of pills. He placed them gently in Ed's hand, and the golden boy just lowered his head to stare at them.

Roy really hated to think the way he was about to, but he knew there was no other way. It was how they gave animals pills, made sure that they were swallowed and not spit out. But it wouldn't be something easy to pull off and, noting how Edward was as conscious as he ever had been for the last week and a half, it could end up proving dangerous.

He got to his knees and made sure to stand to his full allowing height that way, leaning forward until he was a foot from the boy before him. Edward was looking increasingly nervous, his golden eyes wide and dipped brow the only sign of his confusion.

Roy did not let the determination slip from his face as he retrieved the cup with his index finger and thumb. Before Edward had a chance to look down, the colonel mentally crossed his heart and prayed to be spared, despite knowing he was full of shit, and placed his other index finger on the boy's lower lip.

Edward absolutely froze in place, all facial expression leaving as he seemed to retreat within himself.

Roy was surprised how soft the younger male was despite the obvious tension running along the contours of his mouth. They had begun to regain their color after a few days in the hospital, but still remained a pink that was too pale for the boy's face. He absentmindedly brushed his thumb across Ed's bottom lip, not too full and not too thin, the rest of his fingers curling under his chin.

Roy froze, not only when he realized what he was really doing, but when the blonde alchemist seemed to lean forward and into his forbidden touch. Their eyes locked.

Feeling a mix of flustered and embarrassed, the Flame colonel took a firmer grip on Edward's chin and opened his mouth, quickly emptying the medicine cup into his mouth. The teenager's expression went from docile to alarmed, and he would have yanked his head away if Roy hadn't been quick enough to place the glass of water to his lips.

"Please," Roy said quietly, surprising even himself. Ed regarded him with new distrust, eyelids falling flat as he complied and took a mouthful of the cool liquid. He pressed his blonde head into the back of the couch to get away from the drink, reaching up a timid automail hand and pushing the other man's own away. Roy retreated obediently, watching as Edward swallowed and opened his mouth wide to show that it was empty. This amused the colonel to no end, how well the nurses had trained the major during his stay, but he tried to remain in control of his facial expression for fear of upsetting the boy.

"Thank you, Fullmetal," he said, true appreciation creeping through his husky tone. He placed two fingers below Ed's chin and closed the blonde's mouth himself, rocking back on his heels afterward and crossing his arms over his knees. Their eyes, as different as night and day, locked to each other with such intensity that the colonel raised an eyebrow in the boy's direction.

Ed's golden eyes dropped from Roy's face to the blankets lapping around his waist, pulling them up over shoulders, cocooning himself in a sitting position. Roy took notice of the ever-present IV line that peaked out from the blankets, the fluid that flowed through it shimmering in the daylight. Edward, who had caught wind of what his superior was eyeing, pushed himself further into the plush cushions at his back, those fascinating lips barely curling into what was supposed to be an intimidating snarl.

Roy raised both eyebrows this time, leaning forward on to his knees. Like a small dog who was unaware of his size, Edward's hazy eyes sharpened and his brows dipped into a frown. He stuck his flesh foot out from under his cover up, put it to Roy's chest and pushed.

It was a very weak effort, and the boy had barely enough strength to bring his foot back toward him. But Roy leaned there with the edge of the coffee table biting in to his back and felt relief. He could still hear the doctor's former words echoing in his head, and hadn't realized how much those words had bothered him until that moment.

_"He may suffer changes to his personality during this healing period as well. Whether or not these changes are permanent is something we cannot predict. He may end up coming out of this a completely different person."_

He sighed and laid his forehead on his knees, feeling another push, this time an uncomfortable automail foot to his head, more forceful than the last attempt.

If Edward still hated needles, and Edward still hated him, then Edward was still there.


	5. Chapter 5: You're Here

**A/N: **_–yawns-_ I've been alone all day. I wouldn't say this early update isn't a product of my boredom, but in all honesty, it is. Enjoy.

**Special thanks to: **chococrack21, Lurkinshdws, ToraChibiChan, zerine, EquineAngel, KuraRose, xxFaiaxx, Asahi Minako, Roy-Fan33, GoThShEdEmOn, the troublesome twins, Meli teh Dark One, Lex Sterling, HSK-spam, Edo-kun's Angel, tigermon, nanshisummer, Kuro Mizu-Kitsune, , KobrahEdo, Une Rose, Saltyeyes, Edo-chan, tastyfacewash, PuRE'Curse, Daniel Deathnote, daisukiangel42, TheDonutSecks, narutonarutolove, Hawk Cold Eyes, Psycho Anime, Ining-Batong, PutThatAway, IRobbedRobin, DunTouchIt, , and MamaMuse.

Thank you all so much! I hope to continue hearing from you in the future!

**Chapter 5: **You're Here

* * *

Sunlight poured through the windows, reflecting off what little dust it could find. What still remained were the ever wonderful scented candles, for there always had to be fire inside the house to make the colonel happy. And yet, even fire couldn't make up for the headaches Roy got with work; especially this new type of work that he hadn't even thought to be a trouble. That is, until he tried to serve breakfast, quickly figuring out that the blonde alchemist wasn't too keen on eating. Either that or Edward suspected the food to be poisoned, but in the current state of mind that he was in, that seemed very unlikely.

"Fullmetal. Eat." Roy commanded, placing a tray of eggs, toast, and orange juice on the coffee table. Ed regarded it with a silent stare, a blank look on his face and no remorse for the aching jaw the colonel bore in frustration. The teenager's eyes no longer wore the glazed, drug-induced look, but more of a disinterest. A disinterest in people, emotions, and life itself. Although he had cooperated very well in waking and then sitting up, Ed seemed to ignore everything going on. The most Roy managed to get after that was a disgusted noise when Ed had felt through the makeshift ponytail, ripping out the hair band and proceeding to braid his hair himself.

"You can't live without food. I'm not letting you starve yourself; your thin enough now," the colonel growled, giving Ed a hard look. The younger alchemist simply avoided his gaze with zero effort, plainly saying 'I'm the sick one, I'm in charge of my body, and you'll have _nothing_ to do with it.' Roy sighed as he placed a finger on the tray and slid it closer to the blonde. "Please. I'm not asking you for a lot."

For the past two days that the boy had been off of the sedatives, Edward hadn't uttered a single word. The blank, sad stare had grown to adopt was beginning to unnerve Roy, and he was aware anytime those eyes were watching him. Edward had turned his nose up at food, became agitated whenever Roy came into the room to perform the daily tasks of signing papers or even cleaning, and preferred to spend his time staring into whatever world he'd made for himself. Roy was beginning to wonder if he had taken Edward's behavior a couple days earlier as a false positive. What if Ed really had lost himself?

Said teenager brought his blanket up from his lap to his shoulders, shivering even though the temperature throughout the house was normal. The Flame quietly stared the younger alchemist down for some time, at which Edward cracked open an annoyed eye in his direction. Narrowing his own eyes, the Flame shifted his dark gaze straight into the boy's bright one. Upon contact, Ed glared at him before averting his gaze elsewhere.

Roy exhaled slowly and tapped the envelope in front of him with his index finger. "I'm going to open Alphonse's report. And since I'm not the only one who wants to know what the hell is going on, you _will_ eat. Understood?" The man questioned, shooting another long glance at the teen.

At his brother's name, the blonde turned and his eyes settled on the manila file folder lying in front of the colonel. Roy gently open the file, watching as Edward followed his every move with those hazy eyes. The boy's lips kept turning down as if he were fighting off tears or the urge to speak, and as Roy pulled the messy stack of papers out, the teenager began to fidget. His fingers went from loose threads on his blanket, to tracing patterns on the couch, to sorting through fine golden strands that lined his face.

"Funeral?" Ed whispered hoarsely, fingers moving on to the end of his braid. Roy's dark head snapped up from the report, dark eyes wide in surprise. He had never expected Edward to act on the urge; Roy had seen Edward hold his tongue before, but never as often as he had during the last couple of days. As the moment of shock passed, the corners of the colonel's mouth twitched up into a small smile.

"Sorry, what?" Roy shook his head apologetically, since Ed had been so out of the blue that he'd missed it. But the colonel seemed to know what was coming by the distraught look on the blonde's face.

"Funeral…did Al have…a funeral?" Ed's voice cracked painfully at the end, causing the teen to inhale sharply. His breathing was shaky, fueled by his quivering muscles that threatened to break him down. Down till the tears would come and he would go back to being numb all over again. Roy's sad smile was gentle as he turned back to the papers, eyes afraid to begin reading.

"Yes, he did, a little over a week after your hospitalization," the colonel answered, digging around in a few pages to pull one out and study it thoroughly, till he found it of no use and threw it back.

"Fullmetal, just eat a bit. I won't read the report to you otherwise," Roy pushed, filing through another few papers before plucking out another. He ignored the golden eyed glare Ed sent his way, but swallowed sweet relief when the boy angrily picked up a piece of toast and shoved it into his mouth.

Face softening at Edward's forced actions, Roy could have sworn he felt his heart drop a bit. The colonel's teeth grazed his bottom lip lightly, contemplating the feeling until he realized he was staring. And Ed was noticing. The man felt as if he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and the dark look the teenager sent towards him made the Flame feel like the hand had been slapped. Needless to say, his gaze stopped wandering. But he saw something else in those eyes; a fondness, or adoration maybe?

Roy picked up the first page in the pile, scanning what little information it held. "Bruises, knife wounds..." Roy halted abruptly, eyes widening then narrowing as they re-read the sentence. "Did Miss Rockbell ever tell you how Alphonse actually died?" A short silence followed before Ed shook his head.

"No," he whispered, voice trailing off and eyes un-focusing as he tried to remember. Anything about the call that day; he couldn't.

"Just tell me if you want me to stop," Roy said, pulling a single sheet of paper out and holding it gently. "I know you. You hoped your brother had not suffered, correct?" At Ed's hesitant nod, the colonel drew in a deep breath and allowed himself to read off the scene. "'Alphonse Elric was found Monday morning by Miss Winry Rockbell, approximately at 8:00 a.m. as she visited her parents' graves. Alphonse was severely malnourished, with many bruises and cuts throughout his limbs, head, and torso. A deep wound through the shoulder and into his hand suggests blade wounds, by a knife or sword of some sort. Alphonse was estimated dead over twelve hours before being found. We have reason to believe the gunshot wound to his chest was the cause of his death. However, there is no exit wound and the bullet has not been found'."

A sudden heavy silence enveloped the room, nothing but the ticking of the grandfather clock and the chattering birds taking a rest on the windowsills causing sound. Ed lowered his toast back to the tray, his eyes turning towards his commander as he gritted his teeth. "'It seems that the area were Alphonse was found is not the initial scene of the crime. A crew has been sent out to thoroughly search Risembool and the surrounding cities... '" Roy's deep voice slowly trailed off as he laid the paper back down.

Ed's head slowly rose and his eyes bore deeply into the colonel's, jaw clenched tightly. His stomach flipped over itself, and the blonde had a sudden urge to rid himself of the little breakfast he had eaten. His lips moved to silently form one word: 'murder'. Easily reading the inaudible message, Roy nodded.

"Pinako Rockbell reported that Alphonse Elric had been gone for a week. His absence hadn't been reported due to the fact that he would wander off for days at a time when he was younger. Nothing was suspected or out of the ordinary. Miss Rockbell found him laying by your mother's grave…his hands were folded on his chest, and he was smiling," Roy said in a quiet tone of voice, tapping a finger to a file folder. "Alphonse had obviously been moved from the actual scene of the murder, but the fact that his murderer somehow knew where your mother was buried and then took their sweet time to lay the body out…it's just odd. And very risky for them to get away with." Roy paused, looking up to Ed, who had turned quite a few shades paler. "Still, they couldn't find any traces of tracks or blood. We're not dealing with an amateur. Whoever did this has killed before."

"Stop," Ed whispered, a shakiness to his voice. "Just stop. " Silence followed, at which the colonel delicately laid the last sheet of paper onto the pile and laid the folder on top. For the second time that day, Ed felt the hot sting in his eyes and a clamp take hold of his chest. His golden eyes glazed over, tears voluntarily obscuring the edges of his vision as he sniffed and put a hand over his face. No. No crying. Not anymore.

It hurt all the more to hold the tears back and stay strong.

"Do you want me to leave?" The Flame asked quietly, his low tone soothing. At Ed's trembling nod, Roy sighed and stood, dark eyes watching his patient carefully. "I'll be in the front room if you need me. Alright?"

The blonde nodded again, wishing that the man would just leave. As Roy walked by the couch, his hand breezed over the comforter and pulled it up to the teenager's shaking shoulders, brushing itself over Ed's ear. "It's okay to cry, you know. Nothing to be ashamed of." With one last lingering look at the younger alchemist, Roy stepped out of the room just enough to be hidden.

The sobs that immediately insinuated were almost enough to tear the cold heart from his chest.

* * *

Edward observed Roy through empty golden eyes, watching as the colonel swept an alcohol pad across the back of his hand. The colonel felt slightly unnerved by those hollow spheres that seemed to be staring straight through his skeleton and picking apart his soul.

Roy uncapped the needle and cut the blood flow with his left hand like Lynn had showed him. Ed frowned in confusion and tried to pull his wrist away, but Roy held on.

"Hey, hey," he said softly, gaining the boy's attention. "You're okay, Ed," he soothed, watching as the boy cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Yeah, you're okay. It's not too comfortable, is it?" He asked trying to keep the boy's attention, and effectively doing so. He inched the needle closer and closer to the largest vein in the back of Ed's hand.

"I know it must be scary," the colonel whispered, glancing down to assure the needle was positioned correctly. "And I know you must not know what's happening. But you've got to trust me," he said, pushing the needle in. Ed flinched and whined but still held the colonel's gaze.

"See? You're already doing well," Roy praised, laying the boy's hand on his chest. Edward's eyes dropped to observe the intravenous needle sticking out of his hand. Roy made quick work of attaching the IV line to the new needle before the boy could begin to bleed.

"Edward, look at me," Roy said as he removed the tape from the other needle. Edward's golden eyes obediently shot up to his, swimming within them a mixture of worry and fear. But the needle pulled free easily, and as soon as Roy had a band-aid on the injured spot it already looked as if the golden boy had drifted back off to sleep.

The colonel, who was sitting on his knees beside the couch where the boy lay, sat down soundly on his butt. He looked up and observed the sleeping form cuddled under the covers, peacefully snoozing as if nothing had bothered him at all. But despite sitting so close, Roy decided that he needed to sit for awhile.

He told himself it was because sticking people with needles wore on his nerves a bit, and not because he'd assumed the word 'tranquilizer' meant that Edward would be asleep, not watching his every move and having the potential to kill him.

* * *

It became quickly apparent that Edward was not going to take to the guest room Roy had set up for him, and the colonel didn't really mind. He had put all of Edward's things in the room next to his own, up stairs, and after some reflection he decided it hadn't been the best idea. This reflection came about shortly after he caught Ed trying to scoot down the steps on his ass, looking rather innocent despite the absence of his IV. So he became an official resident of Roy's great room sofa, and in all fairness it probably was more comfortable than the bed in the guest room.

After he had learned about the incident connected to his brother, Edward refused to talk to him. He looked up when his name was mentioned, and he did his best to eat when food was placed in front of him. He clung to the colonel's arm when being helped to the bathroom and didn't even seem to mind. He spent most of his time fast asleep, every now and then reaching out as he once did in the hospital. Every now and then he woke with a start, as if he had a dream he was falling, and the colonel hated to see his eyes after those. They were always scared and hurt, and thankfully Ed only let him see them for a few seconds before he turned away in what Roy assumed was embarrassment.

Whenever the young alchemist was fully conscious, the colonel's copy of Alphonse's file was spread out in his lap. He didn't like it when Roy watched him 'at work', but he hated it when Roy left the room. The colonel would return to golden eyes so big and pleading that they made him feel guilty every time he rose to make dinner or go to bed. Whenever he descended the stairs in the morning, Edward's golden head would be peeking over the back of the sofa, relief covering his face. If he had two sofas Roy would probably spend his nights in the great room with his subordinate, but it took some serious contortion to fit his entire body on the loveseat and that was no way for him to sleep.

As the days went by, Roy began to wonder what sort of thing this was. No one had ever been so dependent on him before, definitely not the most hyper-dependent person he had ever met. Could it be he was the last familiar thing Edward thought he had to cling to? Or had his personality taken a change, as the doctor said it could, and Roy was just the most convenient figure to latch on to? The typical Ed emotions still flickered across his face, flashes of annoyance through golden eyes and frowns deep and bitter. But he looked at Roy like he was some sort of savior, and the colonel decided it didn't really worry or bother him too much.

* * *

Roy placed a cold washcloth onto Ed's forehead, eyes narrowed in concern. The teen panted, chest rising and falling at an almost rhythmic pace. His face was tight, sweat mingling with tears as Roy hurriedly tried to wipe them all away. He had been trying for the latter part of the hour to wake the kid up, but to no avail. His assumption went from nightmare to night terror, and through experience he had learned to just let them run their course.

"So, how long has he been like this?" Maes Hughes asked in a worried tone, shifting from one foot to the other. His tall figure was leaning over the back of the couch, faithfully holding a bowl of cool water for the towel. The colonel worked said cloth in careful circles across the young alchemist's forehead, expression exhausted from the long night. Pausing to dip the towel back in, he sighed.

"About an hour now. At first I just thought he was having a bad dream or something along the lines of it, but then his breathing started coming heavy. His temperature is 102." Ebony head ducked down to swipe cold water over the blonde's face, Roy heard Hughes chuckle lightly.

"And you came calling to me," the other man finished, switching the dish to his other hand. Pausing, Roy frowned at his friend and chucked the sopping towel at him. Maes, grinning all the while, successfully caught the cloth and dumped it back into the bowl, which he had placed on the floor. Ed jerked in his sleep, a muffled cry escaping his dry lips, hands grappling at the few blankets Roy had layered over him. Another bead of sweat slipped down his face.

"Please don't look at me like that. You're supposed to be good at this parental stuff," the colonel said hotly.

Ignoring the insult to his fatherhood, the lieutenant colonel stroked his bearded chin. "Anyway...how's he been for the last few days?"

"Like a wall, Maes. Even worse after I told him about his brother," Roy sighed, looking his friend straight in the eyes. "You should have seen his eyes. I don't think I've ever seen an expression so haunting."

The other man nodded, green eyes thoughtful behind his glasses. "Well...I can see why he doesn't want to talk to you, with both of you making each other nervous as hell..."

The colonel gave him the flattest of expressions that he could muster. "You're the dad. How do you bring fevers down?" The colonel sighed, tone aggravated despite his fatigue. Hughes cocked an eyebrow, one side of his glasses sliding clownishly down his nose. The Flame took the edge of Ed's washcloth, mopping up a bit more heat as he did so. "Military training can only get you so far," he pressed, ignoring the 'I can't believe you're so hopeless' look his friend was now giving him.

Sighing, Hughes leaned over and rapped his knuckles on an ever-enraging Flame Alchemist. "Roy Roy Roy...just because I'm a dad to the most beautiful little girl in the world doesn't mean that I'm a medical expert. If I was, I doubt I would be working a desk job, hm?" Mustang's fingers snuck noticeably over to his pocket, at which his ever useful boom-boom gloves were kept.

"We can do this the hard way, more to my liking, or the easy way, which keeps your best interests in mind. Choose wisely," the Flame growled, thoroughly meaning what he said. Hughes's green eyes slowly followed Roy's movements, a perplexed expression on his face as he gulped.

"Long, long ago, humans invented something that has become very useful, Colonel. It has helped many a person overcome disease and fevers, oftentimes saving lives. Something called: med-i-ca-tion." Hughes pronounced each syllable in the last word, letting it snap at the end like a rubber band.

Roy shook his head, annoyed scowl in place. "Not an option. Who knows what would happen if we mixed meds," Roy huffed, his annoyance of being awake at two in the morning showing. As Roy withdrew his hand, both men noticed how Ed trembled and sharply exhaled, his unsteady breathing keeping a little rhythm of its own.

Maes snorted at the response, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "Well just go and shoot down my only idea," the older man pouted, crossing his arms and giving the colonel a look. "If you don't want to use medication, the only things you can do are either: keep soaking him with cold water till he dies from hypothermia, or wait it out." Sighing in annoyance, the colonel rolled his eyes at plopped himself down onto the coffee table.

"Well aren't we a smart ass today," Roy muttered, eyes lingering on the smaller alchemist for a few moments. Ed's head weaved about on the pillow, in an almost hypnotic trance, eyebrows twitching at the same pace.

"You know _what_?" Hughes asked slowly, his dark head rocking with the motion of Ed's. Mustang quickly looked up, hoping that Maes may have just remembered a miracle cure or something other than staying up the rest of the night. "I _think_ he's having a nightmare." Letting his eyelids droop, the Flame stared at his friend for a long while, ignoring the noises of fear and desperation the blonde was making in the background.

"Maes..."

"No, listen, Roy! Whe-" Roy cut him off, sarcastic words cutting through the air.

"What did you think he was doing?"

"Well, whenever Ely-"

"Does Fullmetal look like he's awake?"

"Can't you call him E-"

"Does he look like he's enjoying himself?"

"Elysia has nightmares all the ti-"

"Honestly, Maes."

"All that needs to be done is-"

"Did it really take you that long to figure it out?"

"Damn it, Roy! Shut the hell up for once and listen!" Hughes managed to get the whole sentence out, voice demanding but face as excited as a kid thrown into a candy store. "Whenever little Elysia would have nightmares, all Gracia and I would have to do is hold her and-"

"_Hold_ him? You want to _hold_ him?" Roy asked incredulously, raising both eyebrows about as far as they could go. "If you want to hold him Hughes, all the power to you." Ed moaned in the background, feet twisting up the already knotted blankets as he struggled. Hughes stared blankly at Roy for brief minute, eyebrows coming together as he thought it over.

"No, not me. _You_," Maes stated, pointing to the colonel. The older alchemist's eyes became wide, a look of complete disbelief passing through his blue eyes and a dead silence following. The flaxen-haired teenager between them rolled restlessly from side to side, murmuring words too faint to hear but full of enough emotion to know that they obviously meant something. The clock struck two a.m., the chimes echoing about the large room and causing Ed to lie still for a bit. The two men still hadn't moved. "I'm sure him panicking has something to do with the fever. Maybe it would go down if he relaxes some?"

"You're joking, right?" Roy sighed, casting quick glances between his grinning friend and a certain short alchemist. "If he wakes up, he'll kill me..." Placing a hand on the back of the couch, Hughes leaned his full weight forward and cocked his head to the side.

"He didn't kill you in the car, or so a 'little birdie' told me. Not to mention, Birdie also told me that you two looked like you were enjoying yourselves," Maes chuckled, his soft laugh causing Roy's head to snap up. Confusion, contemplation, and realization all passed through the older alchemist's eyes. Not to mention the feeling of helplessness against Hawkeye's surprisingly scary power over him; as in, for every flame he sent towards her, she would triple it in bullets.

"Hawkeye _told_ you?" A deep blush started at Roy's cheeks and spread to the bridge of his nose, plainly clear against his pale skin. But then he realized that for every bomb thrown at Maes, all his friend could do was run. Said man must have seen the look that settled onto the Flame's face, for he took a few cautious steps back away from the couch, Roy's piercing eyes following his every move.

"Oh, look at the time," Hughes exclaimed innocently, pretending to check his watch. "I have to be going. After all, it's an early day tomorrow. Most importantly, I don't want to be late. Glad I could help, buddy. Anytime, just call me up. Hate to be leaving so early, but I'm sure you understand." Maes sighed convincingly, ignoring the angry protests and swings the Flame was sending his way, throwing on his coat and making a beeline for the door. "Either the meds or you hold him! I'm pretty sure that you'll both like the second one better!"

Roy didn't follow. He didn't feel a need to. A quiet slam from the front door only persuaded his body to stay where it was, fingers still poised above his gloves in some withering hope that they would be necessary. "Idiot..." The colonel breathed, resting his hand on his leg in defeat. "The thing that pisses me off the most is how he could be right." A sudden whimper drug his lingering gaze from the doorway and over to the squirming teenager. Shrugging helplessly, the colonel lifted himself from his sitting spot and crept over to Ed.

The Fullmetal stiffened as Roy not so delicately perched himself in the edge of the couch, feeling the shift in weight. Stillness enveloped the air for a few moments, until Ed went back into dealing with the nightmare. Biting his bottom lip, the dark haired man knew what he could possibly be getting himself into. If his subordinate was feeling up to it, Roy knew that Ed could inflict very painful damage; then again, the boy could barely walk. And chances were more so that he wouldn't even wake up.

Wrapping two strong arms around the younger's chest, the colonel easily lifted a struggling blonde closer to him. Trying to be as careful as possible, Roy scooted himself further onto the couch, amazed that he was even taking Maes's advice. At last he found a comfortable position, where he could still feel his legs and run for his life if need be. Though the man knew Hughes was a bit off his rocker at times, he could already feel Ed's muscles relaxing in his warm embrace. A slit of gold peeked up a Roy, whose eyes widened and brain almost going into panic mode. The tiniest look of appreciation crossed Ed's face before he laid onto Roy's sweatshirt, enjoying the newfound warmth and security. Heaving out a sigh of relief, the Flame placed a gentle hand on the teen's head in a 'thanks for not beating me up' gesture, ruffling his hair before letting his arm fall back to his side.

"Appreciate it, Fullmetal."

"'S nothing...just...you're here," Ed murmured softly, eyes closing and sleep overtaking him once again.


	6. Chapter 6: Indescribable

**A/N:** I know, I know! I wasn't very nice to Al…it sounds more like I hate him, but I love Al to death. _-tackles Al and won't let go- _All is part of the story…sorry for the bashing on our poor little guy. _-clutches him into death grip- _Anyway…I warn you now: in this chapter, Ed will be doing an awful lot of thinking. Sorry to those who love the action! Not like there was much in this story to begin with…ha.

**Special thanks to:** narutonarutolove, TehDonutSecks, Conrii, Miskit, Psycho Anime, Emo-Tastic, Mama Muse, Ining-Batong, DunTouchIt, Target 23, IRobbedRobin, Hawk Cold Eyes, , PutThatAway, Hikaru Irving, Onyxlight, DanielDeathnote, Kitokiri Musei, ash89, Lex Sterling, Danybel, Brienna, yaoifan555, darklady919, Fullmetal Angyl, HSK-spam, Era of Somnium, new_moongirl, xXArykaLachlanXx, blood-fire-dragon, EquineAngel, RoyFan33, Bored Outta My Mind, PuRE'Curse, theDyingRomantic, daisukiangel42, liliwick the WORD, Miss Ri, AngelSachiya, Pyro Falkon, Redkenja, Kura Rose, tigermon, gilithramaloce, and xxFaiaxx. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 6: **Indescribable

The sun had barely risen, little orange and pink streaks decorating the horizon like a fresh painting. A light dusting of snow covered the neighborhood, turning the homes into large gingerbread houses. Blue and purple, left over from the night, had trouble giving into the sun, making the process agonizingly slow. A light layer of clouds slowly crept in, not quite there but eventually they would be. One would think it to be around five, but by the large grandfather clock in a certain Mustang residence, the current time read around eight or so.

Ed was normally a very heavy sleeper, prone to staying up late at night and sleeping in until noon or so. On the other hand, Roy valued the night as crash time and took it almost as equally as heavily, but constantly woke up much earlier. It was out of habit really. All of those threats from Hawkeye about being late had done it, causing the Flame to carefully set his alarm clock early each night and making sure to listen to it in the morning. If he had gone from routine and set a clock, it would probably have been the cause of his death. Newspaper lines would have read: "Flame Alchemist beaten to grave by sick subordinate!"

Not a pretty thought.

Roy laying comfortably on his back, an odd yet satisfying position, eyes closed and breathing slow and peaceful. What was supposed to have been his bed on the other couch was in havoc; blankets, bowls, pillows, etc. piling up. A blonde alchemist lay quietly on his stomach, arms delicately curled around Roy's neck for added comfort. For once, his labored breathing was soft and steady, although still a bit shallow but with a definite difference. Heaving a great sigh, the colonel shifted the weight on his chest and allowed Ed to snuggle closer.

Golden rays of sunshine peeked into the lowest window, sending a fine line of light into Roy's closed eyes. Twitching in annoyance, the alchemist proceeded to roll onto his side, pinning poor Ed between him and the couch, closing in the space between their faces to almost nothing. The younger alchemist murmured in his sleep, unconsciously draping an arm around the colonel's waist and managing to curl his knees up to his chest.

"Mmm…" Roy sighed, his warm breath tickling the sleeping Ed's face. Twitching like a child on caffeine, the blonde lowered his head to the colonel's neck, content to lie there for the time being. Laying his dark head to Ed's light one, gold and ebony locks mixed into a haze of odd color. For the two dogs of the military, life seemed to stand still just for them. A pointless ultra-fantasy, yes, but it felt that way.

Mumbling inaudible words in his sleep, Mustang proceeded to snuggle even closer to his chibi alchemist. Though it was a very large sofa, Edward was getting himself pinned against a very heavily sleeping Mustang and a couch that couldn't do anything. Even if it was comfortable, this wasn't something the blonde would have normally accepted. Just as much could be said for his body while his mind fell prey to sleep.

The facial twitches started out innocently enough, as if some of Ed's hair had managed to tickle his nose one too many times or something of the sort. But as the teenager drew back, it was obviously not hair that was causing the problem. The night of peace each had found was shattered when the Fullmetal let out a sneeze, directed straight into Roy's face. The older man came awake with a start, a surprised shout echoing throughout the room. In perfect Edward fashion, the teenager snuggled back up to Roy, an accomplished smile set on his face.

"What the hell?" The man mumbled, rubbing his face into the pillow over and over again. The first thing he noticed when he looked up was the room around him. No, this definitely WAS NOT his bedroom. It could have been if he had a wife and was banished to the couch for a night to do some long hard thinking, but that wasn't the case.

And then, the added weight to his side. A limb draped over his waist. That would also explain the blonde hair clouding his line of sight and all of the room there was to move around. Holy hell. As Roy looked down and gently brushed the locks out of his teddy bear's face, a numbed shock falling over him. How on heaven and earth…

Oh, that's right. He remembered it all now; even the part that showed he was so stupid as to lull himself off to sleep.

His legs went numb first, an involuntary shiver running from them up his spine. Not that he minded laying there with a, for once, peaceful Edward, but the surprise of it all left him in some sort of a daze, the kind of daze that gets you after having one too many happy pills. That dreamy moment in between bouts of shock and disbelief, where you feel anything is possible. Even though, deep down, there's a nagging voice that tells you to get a grip. Most people never listen.

But there he was, him, Roy Mustang, with Ed sleeping quietly on his arm and leaving him immobile. He looked so vulnerable and innocent; lips parted, blonde bangs slightly ruffled, face peaceful. The teenager's automail thumb was stuck halfway into his mouth, as if it was an unconscious habit. There was one word to describe Edward right then: _beautiful_.

Of course, such thoughts scared the colonel shitless while a different part of his mind totally agreed. There was just no explanation of the feeling as he lied on his side and looked down at the younger alchemist. He had always been fond of Ed, even though it was more like father-to-son. But right then, Roy had a strong urge to run his fingers through that silky blonde hair and undo the braid. And he possibly would have, if his arms weren't busy being slept on or propping himself up.

"Maes…I'm going to kill you," the colonel breathed, not really meaning what he said. Roy just wouldn't admit it to himself, but there was a small part of him that liked this. Liked it a _lot_.

_'So...what are you going to do now?'_

_'I could just…go back to sleep...'_

_'Then what? He'd kill you once he wakes up!'_

_'Maybe I'll get lucky.'_

'Maybe _you're just a thick-headed idiot.'_

The inaudible words Ed was currently murmuring broke the older alchemist from his trance, causing his deeply colored eyes to look down. Eyebrows twitching in little intervals at a time, the blonde removed his thumb from his mouth and sighed heavily.

Leaning his head down close to the mumbling blonde, Roy whispered the boy's name quietly. He whined pitifully, shifting around a bit before moaning a 'get off'. Balancing his body, the colonel reached over with his now free hand and found the end of Ed's braid. Carefully sticking his thumb and index finger between the red band, Roy slipped it off and allowed the silky golden locks to flow free. Leaning back to Ed's ear, the blonde's name was repeated a bit louder than last time.

Roy's cheeks were tickled as Ed's eyelashes flickered open, a sure sign that he was awake. Pulling back, the colonel gave a groggy looking Ed his copyrighted smirk. "Good morning, sunshine," he whispered huskily, his warm breath tickling Ed's pale face. Roy had expected a surprised reaction, maybe some swearing added in, but not what he actually got. A sudden, frightened yelp rang throughout the room before a fist made firm contact with the side of Mustang's head.

Even a sick kid's fist in your face hurts like hell.

* * *

Ed pulled the blanket around him tightly, staring eyes unseeing and unfocused. He could vaguely hear the sound of pots and pans clinking melodically off of each other, mixing into Roy's colorful vocabulary and the hiss of a stove becoming too hot. But not much really mattered anymore; Al was what kept him going every day. Kept him smiling, kept him alive. Now Al was gone. Why did life have to be so fragile? One minute someone could be here, breathing and laughing…and then gone.

Giving an involuntary shiver, the blonde shifted a bit to keep the IV line out of harm's way and his feet under the blankets. Curling his cold toes, Ed half closed his eyes and sighed. "Why couldn't it have been me instead…" he whispered, a cough catching him off guard and sending his frail body into a spasm. Wheezing and clutching tightly to his chest, Ed concentrated on keeping his breathing calm and steady until the spell was over, taking an almost toll of his current energy. Alphonse had never put a foot out of place. He was the good one, the sensible one, the one who had just gotten back what he'd deserved most. A body, and a life to live.

Heaving a deep sigh, the Fullmetal allowed his mind to drift to all of the quiet sounds around him. The subtle rustle of some type of a bag while its contents were poured into a bowl; the delicate crunch of powdered snow as a curious rabbit bounded through the backyard; a song being sung by one of the few birds that wasn't afraid to hang around Central during the winter months. Everything was as normal as could be, with the sun finally making it through the clouds and shining individual rays of light down. It all seemed so wrong when Alphonse wasn't there to enjoy it.

Of course, Ed had learned that law of nature at a very young age. Life had to move on; it had no choice. Humans were just a very small part of the world, and, although the loss of a loved one hurt to no end, the world couldn't stop. No, not for something so insignificant and tiny. Even though it meant everything to someone, they too were prisoners in the endless cycle. In reality, it was inescapable. The world was part of them, and they were a part of it. Without death and the beginning of new life, there would be nothing more for the earth to go on. All is one. One is all.

Blinking slowly to clear the foggy edges of his vision, Ed snuggled himself deeper into the nest of cloth. His sore chest ached from his coughing, demanding that the blonde give it some sort of comfort. Gritting his teeth, Edward coughed again and relieved a bit of the pressure. He didn't want to cause the colonel any trouble over his sickness; Roy had stayed up possibly all night with him, worrying and wondering if the Fullmetal was going to die. Ed wasn't about to put any more stress on the older man.

Though, why did he care?

His fingers traced an invisible pattern on the couch, the fuzzy fibers tickling his calloused skin and causing the teenager to withdraw his hand. Roy couldn't just care for any reason; there had to be something. Ed's blonde bangs slowly slipped down his face, the silky sheet of gold cutting off his line of sight. The slamming of a cabinet door did nothing to provoke a reaction from Ed, just a small sigh and a yawn.

Maybe that's all it was; a simple feeling of sadness that was causing him to cling onto anyone for support. Even if that someone happened to be Colonel Roy Mustang. After all, the Flame _had_ voluntarily taken the younger alchemist into his home. And before then, during those couple weeks in the hospital, Roy _had_ visited Ed at least every other day. On his own time. Not to mention, he'd been there last night, during the nightmare.

Nightmare.

Had Roy really been there? Yes, Edward was pretty sure he had. That would explain why they had woken up on the couch together. Not that the younger alchemist had minded or anything, but it did come as a shock. It brought back the times after his mother had died, back when he and Al would sleep side-by-side. They had held each other, comforting their pain till the early hours of the morning when sleep would finally take them. The sleep was rarely peaceful; Ed clearly remembered having to shush his little brother back to sleep after many a very real nightmare. But it was his duty as an older brother to stay strong for Alphonse, and to chase away anything that threatened his brother. It wasn't entirely Ed's fault for punching Roy; the bastard had scared him out of his skin. And for that brief moment in time, he had actually thought Al was alive.

Ed's nightmare had been…terrifying, to say the least. How real it all felt, and how accurate everything had been. The scene in the serene meadow they used to bound through as children, the middle of December always acting as spring, the sound of Alphonse's voice…it was all so _right_. So there that it was haunting. Even the fact that, although meek and kind in a good mood, Ed's younger brother would become extremely irritated when provoked. And whomever that masked monster had been really pushed the last button for Al.

But…it had all been a nightmare, right? Was it common for dreams, or in this case, nightmares, to tell the truth that none could see? Ed concluded that it wasn't likely. Even though the teenager had heard an in depth report of Al's condition and cause of death, how could his mind so clearly play out his brother's death? His mind was trying to find a way to deal with it, he decided. He'd been so drugged up for the past few weeks he hadn't quite had the ability to let Alphonse's passing become real.

The thing that still haunted the blonde most was the fact that Roy had been there. To comfort him from a nightmare? It seemed very unlike Roy to do so, but there had been something in the man's eyes. Something that had strongly reminded Ed of Al, especially in the morning's half-light. Chewing unconsciously at his bottom lip, the Fullmetal wracked his tired thoughts for an answer. Whenever Edward had looked up into his brothers eyes, he was sure it was the same emotion. One that linked up the most was love.

But…_why_? _Why_ would a feeling like that connect him to Roy Mustang? It just didn't seem real, like one of his dreams went off and gave itself some smack somewhere in the midst of everything. And turned the whole thing into a drug-induced thought. Maybe that was it? Edward had been on much medication thanks to his predicament, and it could have very well messed with his vision. Roy was an asshole, an arrogant, self-obsessed, womanizing jerk. He loved making fun of Ed, planned for it, and had probably once tried to organize a national holiday honoring the teasing and emotional torture of Edward Elric. Perhaps it had been a simple caring side of his superior that he just wasn't used to seeing. Caring, as in, cared about where the Fullmetal Alchemist (_his_ discovery, after all) would live to see another mission out.

But…no, the Fullmetal couldn't convince himself. It had been love. He was sure.

So what if Roy, well, liked him? What did that _mean_? For the both of them, anyway. Ed had always told himself to never get sidetracked by love, no matter the costs. His little brother gave him more than his fair share, and the two were happy together. Although the blonde was always certain his little brother would settle down with Winry after sometime in his new body, Ed knew that he couldn't do anything similar. A family lifestyle was what Alphonse needed; it just wasn't for Edward. He couldn't risk being hurt again.

The big question; if this was love, did Ed love Roy back? Unconsciously, his hand went back to tracing, alchemy symbol after symbol. He had been around his little brother for so long, and Al had adored and looked up to him through all of those years. Even when his brother's soul was encased in that armor, the Fullmetal could feel the bond between them. It wasn't too common to get a pair like them, he knew; willing to throw everything away in one second for the other. Is that how he felt towards the colonel?

No. Not quite. But nobody, no matter how hard they tried, could _ever_ replace his little brother. Even so…that didn't answer the initial question at all. Whenever he heard Roy's name, butterflies would flip his stomach upside down. Being close to his superior was an interesting battle of its own; one where Edward fought against his staring eyes and blushes. He enjoyed watching the colonel stare out the window for hours at a time, how he would cock his head to the side just right when signing paperwork, how peaceful he looked when sleeping on the job, and that he smelled like sweet smoke. Maybe not love, but a crush.

Crush. On Roy Mustang?

Ed almost choked on the thought.

No way in hell.

Or heaven for that matter.

This was the man that had practically raised him for the past six years. Roy was more so a father figure than someone to get attached to in that way. Not to mention he had about twelve years and a foot or so on Ed, but that he was also a _guy_. Though Roy _had_ tried to always be there for the brothers when they needed it. And Ed had nothing against big age differences (unless it was a little too extreme) nor same gender relationships, but thinking that he could possibly be one to end up with both ends of the deal was a bit too real for him. What was even more frightening was the fact that he was thinking about these things at all.

"I hate it when you do stuff like this to me," the blonde whispered to the colonel, who was now engaging himself into an attempt to crack eggs. Ed listened carefully to the silence. Ed could just see him in his mind, pale skin, glowing eyes, mussed hair, and bored expression.

"You make me think too much, bastard…" There it was again. That annoying, hot sting behind his eyes and that build up of tears. Like a dam just waiting to be let loose. Sniffing, Ed brought his hand across his golden eyes, catching them before they fell. Damn. "And every time…I always end up like this…what a great way to remember you by." Crying quietly, Ed fought to get himself back under control. Chuckling, the soft laugh scratching his throat, he still managed to smile through his tears.

"Maybe I do…more than what should be allowed…" Taking a deep breath, Ed refused the comforting tears and fought the emotional pain in his chest. It wasn't worth it; he knew. Crying and hurting wasn't going to bring his brother back. Though Ed knew Al would want him to rid himself of all that hurt, to just let it all out, the Fullmetal couldn't. He had waited too long, and too late. It hurt worse to bottle it up inside, yes, but there was no one there to comfort him, to understand.

Except Roy. But how would that help? Especially when the younger alchemist just had his mind on…other thoughts.

_'He'll listen…didn't he say he had a brother? I can't remember…"_

Ed's foggy mind skipped from topic to topic, bouncing around in a frenzied sort of state. Still, the confusing feelings of crushes and pain melded together into one big emotion; one that the elder Elric couldn't describe himself. Hurt, abandonment, bewilderment, hopefulness. Into one sticky mass of feelings that felt like it was come unglued any minute. But still, Ed didn't want that.

Weakly kicking the thick blankets off of him, the Fullmetal swung his legs over the side of the couch. As his human foot met with the cold hardwood, the blonde shivered and drew in a shaky breath. His whole body screamed for him to lay back down, stay under the cozy blankets and sleep the pain away. Gritting his teeth against the burn in his chest, Ed eased himself forward, both feet meeting firmly with the floor. A head rush angrily followed, causing his breathing to come out in rasps. Why was he doing this?

There wasn't an answer to the question.

Nothing mattered anymore.

The IV tube came out easily, just a small jerk and it was out. Although the needle still stayed in place, the biting feeling left a prickling sensation throughout his left arm. Gingerly placing the clamp at the end of the tube, Ed made sure the flow of fluid was stopped in its tracks before he directed his attention elsewhere.

Sighing heavily, the blonde alchemist waited for his speeding heart to drop to a normal rhythm. This was possibly the most movement he'd done by himself since his hospital stay, and his heart and lungs ached in protest. The nurses had given him as little aid as possible, in hopes to build his strength back up to a good level. But during Ed's (so far) short stay at the Mustang residence, Roy had spoiled him rotten and did everything for him. Luckily the nurses hadn't told poor Roy that he shouldn't have done so much; it gave the Fullmetal a lot of time to himself. Now Ed was beginning to regret it.

Pressing his weight into the palms of his hands, the flaxen-haired teenager wobbled to his feet. His legs protested strongly against the pressure, almost screaming that he sit back down and take off the added burden. Dismissing the ache without much thought, Ed weaved in his first step, one arm gripping the couch tightly and the other splayed out for balance. His body was angry at him, pain ripping through his head and chest like a tornado. It tore Ed in two, but what he needed was much more important and far from insignificant than the pain.

His second step was a bit easier to handle since it was his automail leg, but the feeling still stayed with him. His golden eyes focused on nothing but the path before him, mind carefully catching up to where his feet were and where they would be going. Ed gave a shudder, the air biting his skin like tiny needles and sending his body into shivers. Life was being so unfair to him.

Shaking his head, he felt flaxen hair brush against his neck and back. His first few seconds of 'what the hell?' turned into relief as the golden waterfall fell over his shoulders and warmed his exposed neck. Even though the temperature in the house was at a reasonable level, Ed knew that it wasn't too smart to be parading around in his boxers and a t-shirt, no matter how comfortable it was. Not that he could totally blame himself; he had been under several blankets for hours at a time, and the fact that his suitcase wasn't anywhere in sight didn't help matters.

Edward's grip switched from the sofa to another side-table, his legs feeling as if they were being forced to drag a five hundred pound weight along with him. Reaching up with his free hand, Ed wiped his watering eyes as the pain tore through him. It felt as if something was ripping him apart from the inside-out. Fumbling, the young alchemist slid his hand further down the table and took another cautious step forward.

With each step he took, hands grappling for any support they could find, he cried. The tears felt cool and soothing against his flushed cheeks, unlike the ones before that had only caused him to suffer. The physical pain melted into Ed's emotional hurt, burying it to little or no recognition. "Sorry…I'm sorry…" The blonde choked out with each movement, his broken voice echoing no further than a few feet away. It was what he needed to hear; he truly was sorry he wasn't there for his little brother. More than anyone could know.

The hardwood floor ended abruptly at the wide entrance to Mustang's kitchen, turning into lightly colored cold stone tile. Dazed and hurting, the blonde laid his full weight into the door frame of the kitchen, breathing heavy. Through his obscured vision, Ed could see Roy busy at work with what the blonde thought to be pancakes. He let his eyes wander over the colonel; Roy seemed to have changed clothes, and was now dressed in a loose white tee with black dress pants hugging his hips. Nails digging helplessly into the woodwork, Ed couldn't help but think of one word: regal. The way Roy moved, especially when he thought no one was watching, was a sight to see.

The Fullmetal hesitated at the kitchen's entrance, his legs growing wearier by the minute and head feeling like it was splitting in two. '_You still have a chance to turn back...' _Choking back a cough in hope to silence himself, Ed shook his head. No. No turning back; not anymore. Never again. Reaching his automail leg forward, the young alchemist took one delicate step into the room.

The metallic clink of steel against stone tiles made Roy freeze in his tracks, nearly dropping the sponge he was using to clean the powder-coated counters. The Flame's ears picked up the sound of labored breathing, and he could also feel that the presence was pretty small. His onyx eyes slowly swiveled around to the source of the noise, leaving the debris-induced sponge to collect dust on the counter. Roy's heart caught itself in his throat from worry and anger mixed together. More so worry.

"E-Edward?" The colonel whispered, stepping a few paces away from the counter before stopping. At the sound of his name, Ed's darkened gaze was averted towards Roy, stopping the man in his tracks.

God, those eyes.

They were normally so bright, full of life and determination towards his superiors, security and love saved for his brother. But then, none of the above shone through. Edward's eyes were more vacant than the empty armor that had once housed Alphonse's soul. They seemed to stare right through Roy, never focusing on one object and sending chills up the man's spine. This wasn't the Fullmetal he knew; the blonde's eyes were never like that. Ones that seemed to have given up on living and life altogether replaced the ones he thought he'd known so well.

Dead eyes.

"R -" Ed managed, a strangled cough cutting off anything else the blonde had wanted to say; if there was anything. The small alchemist clung to the door way, exhausted body fighting against his legs supporting him. Ed wanted to fall to the ground right then and there, but he knew he couldn't. Taking an even tighter hold on the wall, Edward stepped off with his other foot and took another step the colonel's direction. Still slightly mesmerized, the Flame could only watch the chibi's struggle against his body.

A dead silence encircled the room, suffocating the two occupants inside. Neither cared. _Cli-click. Pad. Click-click. Pad. Click. Pad-whir._ Step after step that Ed took followed its own unique pattern, differing in each set. His legs wobbled dangerously, unplanned stopping point becoming the area four feet from Roy. For a brief second, his gaze seemed to focus onto the much taller figure in front of him. Ed moved to take another step, but felt the last of his strength give way to a sickening feeling of falling.

"Ed!" Roy pitched forward and caught the blonde in his arms, the added weight almost bringing the Flame down to his knees. His arms instinctively curled around Edward's waist, supporting the teenager's frail body as he tried to regain his balance. Shifting Ed around in his arms until he carried the other alchemist bridal-style, the colonel wobbled to his own feet and gazed down in utter surprise at the boy in his arms.

The blonde gave a sheepish, pained grin, his eyes refusing to smile along. "Thanks," Ed whispered, fighting back the urge to cry out as the pain began again. Turning his head into his superior's chest, the blonde coughed a few times and groaned softly. "Hurts…" He panted, fingers winding themselves into the t-shirt the colonel was wearing. Roy felt himself blush slightly, but quickly hid it in fear of Ed seeing. Shaking his head, the older man sighed worriedly and began making his way back to the living room.

"Why the hell did you get out of bed?"

Silence.

"Answer me, Ed."

"Needed to talk," The younger wheezed, gripping the front of the Flame's shirt as another bout of the ripping sensation flew through him.

"You could have called for me. You shouldn't have been up, and you know it," Roy replied, cradling the teenager gently in his arms. He could tell Ed had lost weight; a lot of weight. By the blur of gold below his gaze, the older alchemist could tell Ed had shaken his head 'no'. Of course, after a couple of silent seconds, realization hit Roy. The sharp-tongued blonde was too proud to admit that he couldn't do something as easy as walking into the next room to talk with someone.

"Boxers and a t-shirt aren't things for you to be running around in, either. You'll be even worse off if you keep doing this, you know…" The colonel's deep voice trailed off, feeling how tense Ed's muscles became. "You're putting too much stress on your body. You're still sick." As if on queue, the Fullmetal let out a loud sneeze that left him reeling in dizziness.

They passed through the kitchen entrance, heading directly into the living area and Ed's temporary bedroom. Ed buried his face into Roy's shirt, inhaling his scent deeply and finding some comfort. As his chest pains receded, the blonde's grip loosened drastically and his muscles relaxed as if nothing had happened. Though the (what felt like to Edward) frigid air still nipped at him, the teenager felt the warmth of Mustang's body against his, and didn't want it to stop. For the first time in weeks, something actually felt right.

"You know…" Ed spoke slowly and low, his voice gaining the attention of a certain colonel. "After everything that we went through…me 'n Al…all of those years…I didn't think anything else could go wrong for us." Deep, dark eyes trailed down to Ed's face; the pale skin, sparkless eyes, sad smile. Nothing about this stranger in his arms spoke of Edward, the arrogant brat that strutted around Central with that cocky, out of my way attitude.

The soft couch cushions were welcoming to both alchemists, Roy relaxing into the blankets with Edward still in his arms. "I thought…since we'd already been through hell and back, what more could be taken from us?" He was trembling again, a light jittering that shook him from the inside out. Ed closed his eyes and leaned into the older alchemist.

The colonel didn't quite have full control over his body. The man that was holding gingerly onto the Fullmetal Alchemist, listening quietly and never letting his eyes leave the teenager's face, was a stranger to Roy. But a stranger that he could easily relate to and get along with. "You don't have to hold back. If you keep bottling up what you're feeling, Edward, then there's no reason for me to be here." Roy's voice was soothing and low, tempting Ed's blank eyes to look up.

"Guess… guess I was wrong, though…they just had to take him, didn't they? The last god damn reason that kept me here. Al was…all I had…" When had he started crying? Ed couldn't remember, but he could feel the colonel's thumb swipe the tears away. The blonde was looking straight ahead now, too embarrassed and scared to look up and see Roy's expression. It was a good thing Edward's face was flushed from his fever last night, otherwise his superior would have easily been able to pick out the blush.

"What…kind of equivalency is that?"

Fresh tear streaks ran down Ed's cheeks, his eyes clouded and filled with sorrow. "With…without Al…what more? What more is there for me?" The blonde whispered, pain and sadness etched into his voice. "He was everything to me…" Ed spoke so softly that it was almost hard for Roy to hear, raising a hand to wipe the tears away. The Flame stopped him, lacing his fingers with Ed's gently before brushing the tears away with his other hand. Right then, the younger wanted to melt into the colonel just for the comfort.

"Shh…" Roy murmured soothingly, feeling his heart quicken when Ed gripped his hand lightly. Their eyes met, and something sparked. It was a time where they should have fallen into a cliché of words. Edward was supposed to wonder aloud what he was to live for now, Roy should be telling him everything was going to be okay, and Edward had everything and more to move on with. They sat there, hand in hand, each regarding the other with fear and yet a bit of curiosity.

Simultaneously they leaned forward, hesitating to make sure the other did too, and before they knew it their lips met.

It was a shy kiss, and but it wasn't a bad one, either. Ed clearly had some skill under his belt, and the colonel wasn't surprised. He as a handsome young man and surely some people had taken notice. But the blonde was tense as much as Roy was nervous, both alchemists not knowing if what they were doing was wrong or something they could be forgiven for. And as they pulled away, so shocked that neither of them could even blush, they could only stare at each other, awestruck.

It was both curious and wary, frightening and relieving.

It was indescribable.


	7. Chapter 7: Torments of Absence

**A/N:** This chapter has been edited and tweaked a bit since its first posting. Though it isn't too drastically different, it is much cleaner. Enjoy!

**Special thanks to: **AnimeLuvv, TehDonutSecks, crazy kid 0.o, Psycho Anime, Mama Murse, Hawk cold Eyes, DunTouchIt, Ining-Batong, hootpoop12, PutThatAway, DanielDeathnote, , To Destination, IRobbedRobin, Angel Spirit, TruthOfSelf, The New Fullmetal Alchemist, Shadow's Illusion, Tsuki Doriimaa, Lex Sterling, FoxxyKat, cherry fantasy, ZaKai, Hitokiri Musei, Roy-Fan33, Equine Angel (I LOVE your long reviews, LOVE!), blood-fire-dragon, HSK-spam, amy-louise11, Whaleosaur, catwwomen47, Kichi Hisaki, PuRE'Curse, Danybel, daisukiangel42, and galliechan. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 7:** Torments of Absence

"I hit you, didn't I?"

The voice broke Roy's train of thought, causing the man to look up from his book. A solemn looking Edward sat across from him on the other end of the couch; legs crossed and hair streaming over his shoulders. The blonde's gaze was focused on the fibers of the sofa, cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment. Over what, not even Ed himself knew. All he wanted was to break the hushed silence that had fallen over the room; saying nothing and letting his lips still tingle from the few moments of their lip lock was torture.

"Yeah…I'll live, though. I don't normally let someone get the best of me." Roy felt his hand unconsciously massage the spot where Ed had landed a very well aimed, and deserved, punch. It had been his fault in the first place for surprising the teenager, and he regretted it. But only slightly.

The blonde nodded apologetically, bangs bobbing out of rhythm. Edward's eyes moved to focus elsewhere, he felt his chest ache. Not from his illness, but something more.

"Roy?" He whispered, for once using the older alchemist's first named instead of the usual string of insults. Said man's head immediately snapped up from his book, surprise evident. Ed's knees were propping up his chin now, stiff body protesting loudly to the treatment, but he didn't care. "Are you just going to pretend…that nothing happened? Are you just trying to forget, and convince yourself that it was nothing?" Ed's voice was soft and low, full of what Roy thought may have been confusion or maybe hurt. The blonde fiddled nervously with a section of his loose hair, grazing his fingers over the gleaming strands and avoiding the colonel's blue-eyed stare. "'Cause I don't know."

Sighing to himself, the colonel set the book down onto the coffee table. "Come here," Roy whispered, patting his lap lightly and gazing at Ed with his deep blue eyes. The younger alchemist stared at him for a moment, cocking his head to the side before crawling over to the man. The Flame's strong arms wrapped around Ed's body, pulling the blonde off of the couch and into his lap. He Ed immediately laid his head to Roy's chest, muscles slightly tensed despite the comfort.

The dark-haired man rested his head atop of Edward's, letting his eyes drift shut. The two stayed like that for several minutes, the rhythm of their heartbeats and breathing soon matching steadily. The clock ticked away, the hands counting and recording the peaceful silence.

Without warning, Roy leaned down and brushed his lips across a startled Edward's. Even then, the blonde surprised him and leaned into the action, pressing their bodies together and enjoying the heat it formed. Tongues traced each other until the need for air became too strong, and they broke apart momentarily before their lips met again. Finally pulling back, the colonel looked away from Ed, who was blushing furiously, to concentrate out the window. "What does that say to you?" The muteness that followed was a bit insuring to Roy, who felt his heart quicken a pace or two.

"I don't know," Ed whispered, clearing his throat at the end in slight embarrassment. Giving a chuckle, the Flame ran his fingers through long locks and twisted them around playfully. The other alchemist immediately leaned into the action, pressing his ear against the man's chest and listening to his heartbeat. "I don't know what this is."

"Would it make you feel better if I agreed?"

"I don't know," Edward said for the third time, frustration forming on his young face. "I have no idea what how we got here, or what we're still doing here." His voice was hoarse, words scuttling over sandpaper.

Ed leaned up gingerly, fighting for the little control that he could manage from his frail body, and blew gently onto Roy's lips. Teasing the man, making the Flame shiver. Lowering himself back into Roy's lap, he gave a tiny smile before looking away. The man chuckled, the lusty rumble causing Ed to shiver unconsciously and quicken his breathing. He had never been so close to Roy like this before, and he was enjoying the fact that it could scare him senseless and relax him to no end. Even now, he could feel the Flame's strong gaze on his face, which only caused him to bury his face into Roy's shirt. Embarrassment sucked.

"You don't have to be so shy," the man purred, nuzzling Ed's soft hair and loving the way the younger alchemist shuddered when he let out a burst of warm breath. "Unless it's not what you want…" Roy lifted his face from the teenager's head as Ed looked up, golden eyes for once calm and more at peace than they had been during the past few weeks.

"As if, bastard," he whispered, furrowing his eyebrows. "You would…have been dead by now…if I didn't…" Yet, despite Ed's words, the look on his face was one of, what Roy thought to be, confusion.

The dark-haired man made an amused noise at the back of his throat. "Point taken. But that doesn't explain the look on your face."

There were a few things that Ed envied Roy for, and the man had just hit the target. In just about any situation, the colonel could always keep that damned face of his as blank as a clean sheet of paper. Not lined. And it bugged the hell out of Edward that people could read his own face so easily, people like Roy, but he could never do the same.

"About us…what will happen…" The blonde's weak voice faded out, more so from nervousness than anything else. Pursing his lips, the Flame only took a few seconds to think over his choice of answers.

"Whatever happens, will happen," the man replied matter-of-factly, his response somewhat blunt and causing the teenager on his lap to sigh. Roy quirked an eyebrow curiously at the mini-alchemist, who was staring back with a look that said, _'You're trying to avoid the topic, aren't you?'_

"Well, if you keep trying to make out with me every five minutes, we're going to have to do _something_…I don't believe the military will like it."

Nodding quietly, Roy decided to give Ed the gist of it all. "If this does turn into anything serious, and the military finds out…we will be nothing. We never existed to them." The damned silence once again. Except, during this bout, Roy could tell the exhausted alchemist lying in his arms was deep in thought.

"I think…" Ed began, but his voice trailed off as his thoughts changed direction. Giving a sly grin, Roy patted the blonde's head lightly.

"Of course you do."

The fist that planted itself weakly behind the man's ear was enough to shut him up. Though it didn't hurt at the least (Ed's strength wasn't something to be amazed with at the moment) the colonel knew better than to continue the bantering. If he kept it up, his collection of love taps from Ed was going to become even greater than the amount of paperwork Hawkeye expected done by the next week. And with those taps, one would be assured headaches and thoughts trailing off to the one who gave them out. At least they were better than bullet wounds.

"I want to take some time to think about it. This is so sudden." Ed's whisper was soft and husky, his golden eyes looking unsurely into the older ones. "I don't want this to change us," he added quietly, looking up at Roy. "I'm not ready for it to change us. I'm not ready to be swept off my feet, I don't want to be chased after. I want for this to be what it is, not what we're hoping it to be," he finished, glancing away.

"So you want me to leave you alone?" Roy asked, confused.

"No!" Ed grumbled, rubbing a hand down his face. "I just, I just want it to stay the same. I'm not going to change for you, and I don't want you to change for me, either. I'm not going to tip toe around you, and you're still going to get on my nerves."

The older man leaned forward until his face was barely an inch away, dark eyes staring deep into light ones, his breath ghosting across Ed's lips.

"Do you know what we would be getting ourselves into? That we would have to keep this a secret, at all costs, until we have this figured out?" Immediately following was a deep kiss brought upon by both of them, open mouths meeting gently. Roy's worked at the teenager's in an almost rhythmical motion, his fingers dusting carefully down the sides of the blonde's shirt and sending delighted shivers down Ed's spine. After a momentary burst of wanton dominance, Edward gave in and allowed the Flame to take the reins of the kiss.

Each breathed heavily afterwards, the lack of air taking a toll on their lungs. Ed grinned through it, wincing slightly as a burning sensation ripped throughout his chest. "You know I could still make you sick…"

"You are non-contagious," The Flame laughed, stroking the long flaxen strands and enjoying the feeling of silk between his fingers. Even though he knew Ed hadn't washed it in days, it still felt smooth and soft. Ed made a face and pointedly jerked his head away.

"Now that we have that matter cleared up…" Roy murmured, locking his arms around Ed's form and standing, "I believe someone in this house needs a shower." The man took a moment to get Edward comfortable in his hold, making sure he wasn't hurting the smaller alchemist.

"Yeah…you're really starting to stink, Colonel Useless," the blonde whispered hoarsely, giving a small grin up at his superior. The Flame simply cocked and eyebrow, dark eyes shifting down to Edward.

He saw straight through the boy; through the layers of fake happiness and banter, down to where it was real. Where the younger alchemist was aching and hurting and screaming. He saw, he saw everything. But if Ed was going to be this way for now, then Roy would let him. When Edward felt the Flame was trustworthy, he would open up, and said colonel was too smart to try and blow a cover like that. So he smiled.

And helped the boy to the bathroom down the hall.

* * *

Roy hummed to himself quietly as he cleaned the living room where he and Ed had slept the night before. Cans of juice, dishes, tissues, and various wrappers were now cleared from the coffee table and a few candles has taken the garbage's place. The blankets Ed had been using were thrown into the wash, while a new set of pillows and a comforter had been folded neatly at one end of the couch. The sound of the washing machine and shower running at the same time was like an out of sync lullaby.

Roy ran the dust rag over the coffee table, picking up bits of crumbs and any other debris it could find. Though cleaning was normally boring and a waste of time to him, the man absolutely refused to hire a housekeeper. He felt uneasy about having someone else in his house, getting into all of the nooks and crannies and places Roy didn't even know _existed_, and just being _there_. It just didn't seem right; a stranger cleaning your house.

Disgusted with the thought, Roy moved from the coffee table to one of the couch side tables, giving the wood the final touches of his dust rampage. When he deemed all was well, he tossed the dirt-streaked dusting rag into the trashcan under the table he had just finished with, not stopping to make sure it successfully made it to the can. To be quite honest, once the dusting was done and over with, he could care less.

Stretching fully, looking much like a cat as he still attempted to walk, Roy paused a few feet away from the wall. A few mirrors, no bigger and a few inches both ways, stared back at him. Even though they were tiny, he could still make out some of the batter clinging to his hair and shirt. Speaking of hair; Roy's looked messier than ever, especially since Ed had been toying with it endlessly in his sleep. Slightly darker circles had presented themselves under his eyes, reminding the colonel of something he hadn't got much of lately: sleep.

And the funny thing was, he could blame it all on Edward if he wanted to.

But of course, knowing Mustang, he didn't have the heart nor the energy.

The dark-haired man was startled as the phone rang out piercingly, nearly jumping out of his skin as if he was just caught doing something he shouldn't be. Roy's head whipped around to the direction of the phone, seated innocently on the couch side table as it rang again. Staring at it for a moment, dumbfounded at what he should do while trying to get his heart out of his throat and back where it belonged, he soon snapped out of his small trance.

_Riiiiiiiiiinnnnngggg._

Dodging the couch with a side-step, Roy managed a successful grab at the sleek black handle and jerked it off the cradle. In a hasty voice, the military dog knew he must have sounded a bit like someone who had just run the four-hundred. "Hello, Mustang residence." A slight pause, shuffling on the other end of the line, then…

_"Morning Colonel!"_

Roy felt his blood run cold and his breathing froze. His blue-black eyes widened slightly, and he mentally groaned. If the plan was to keep the morning shared between the two alchemists was to be kept a secret for a bit longer, until they knew where they were taking themselves, the plan wouldn't last for long. Not now, anyway. The man on the other line, as goofy and dumb as one would like to believe he was, Maes wasn't in the investigations department for nothing. He could smell a secret a mile, _or_ a phone line, away. And the results would be something to see, but not something to look forward to.

Unless Maes was distracted with Alphonse's murder (Roy felt his stomach knotting at the very thought of the poor brother), then there was no hope for said man to find out anything. And maybe, if the alchemist brought the subject up, it would be enough…but then again, when you shove Hughes into the picture, nothing was predictable.

_"You wouldn't believe it! Yesterday-"_

"Was there was a break in Al's case?" The colonel asked directly, intent on steering the rest of the talk towards familiar ground. Where the lieutenant colonel was less likely to prod and poke into business that should be left alone by outsiders. But once again, with Hughes, nothing is for sure.

_"No, ya idiot! Elysia went to the pet store yesterday for the first time! You should have seen her there Roy; it was a once in a lifetime moment! And when my little angel asked permission to get a fish and looked at me with those big beautiful eyes, I just couldn't say n-"_

"Hughes. Please. I'm on a time limit," Roy lied casually, not all that willing to sit through another tsunami of story-telling and a possible show and tell date being set up. Then again, he wasn't particularly lying…as soon as Ed was out of the shower, the IV needed to be restarted, lunch needed to be fixed, clothes needed to be dried…

_"Really, Mustang, you should listen to what other people have to say. You never know what you're missing."_ Roy could almost see Maes sitting by the phone, wagging his finger, that dumb grin in place and…Roy inhaled deeply, held it, then exhaled, making a mental note that he should really consider carrying a pain pill or two or ten at all times.

"What do you want, Maes?"

_"Well, that's a nice way to carry on the conversation,"_ Hughes pouted, which was evident in his voice, _"I take valuable time that could be spent getting pictures of my Elysia at the park, and all you can say is 'What do you want'?"_

"Really..." The Flame sighed, tapping a finger impatiently against his text.

_"Yes, _really_. I was just calling to ask how Ed was doing this morning, but if you're going to be an ass about it, then-"_

"Fine." Roy said bluntly, almost biting his tongue in haste to get the answer out. If the plan was to stay undercover about the scene that morning, he was already blowing it. _'Just stay calm, cool, collected…like when trying to get yourself out of target practice…'_

_"Eh?"_

"I mean, Ed's fine. He's doing much better. Your advice really, uh, helped." Calm, cool, collected…Hawkeye would have laughed and shot his ass into oblivion. For that moment, Roy would have actually preferred Hawkeye and the shiny new gun he knew Havoc was getting her."He really…settled into sleep after a, uh, few minutes or so."

_"That's good to hear." _A pause, and Mustang could almost feel Maes' eyes narrowing in a cat-like grin. _"So then, how was he the rest of the night?"_

Roy gulped guiltily, scrolling through his mind for an answer that fit the profile. "I…wasn't paying attention much attention. Hawkeye had me doing the usual paperwork, and I got a bit…sidetracked, and all. The few times I checked on Ed, he seemed okay; fever down and…you know." He gulped again, running a hand through his thick hair nervously.

_"Mhm."_

Roy knew it. Hughes was grinning like a madman on the other end of the line, absolutely positive that more than just a fever and some paperwork were involved.

_"I have a few questions for _you,_ Roy Mustang."_

"Alright?"

_"For one, I would like to know why you left a sick patient alone, and to do _paperwork_. Two, you called pipsqueak there by his first name. Three…"_ Maes chuckled, and the Flame felt himself paling_. "Were your legs numb when you woke up with him on your lap?"_

"How did you-"

_"I bugged your house."_

"You WHAT?" Roy seethed, unconsciously raising a de-gloved hand and fingers forming the snapping position. Or a fist. With the way the man was shaking it around, it could be both and no one would have been able to know.

_"Just kidding, Mustang. I guessed. But you're obviously guilty, no?"_

"You're a pain in the ass, Maes."

_"Maybe so. But I was right, wasn't I?"_

Sighing heavily, the tired colonel scratched the back of his head. "Just…don't tell anyone, okay? Swear to me you won't. Hakuro will no doubt be pissed, even though it was an accident-"

_"Now now, Mr. Mustang. Why are we getting defensive?"_ Pause. Intake of breath on Hughes' part. Then that damn, ever-noticeable, 'you know it's there even if you can't see it' grin. _"Roy, did you do what I think you did?"_

"I don't kn-"

_"You _slept_ with him?"_

Roy nearly choked at the assumption. "No way in _hell_, Hughes. He's a minor, a subordinate, not to mention a guy-"

_"Then how come I know you're not telling me everything?" _Roy bit his lips, holding back a comeback that wouldn't do himself any good in the long run. Leaning back into the cushions with an over exaggerated mental groan, the colonel rubbed his forehead. He could trust his friend, he knew. Still…it just didn't seem right to tell _anyone_. But then again, if Hughes was going to assume that he and Ed had…no, it was probably better to just admit it. The family man wasn't likely to spread the news around; at least the Flame hoped.

"Because I just _kissed_ him, Maes. Only a _kiss_, nothing more, nothing less," Roy blurted out, voice defensive but sincere. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't say _anything_ to _anyone_. Satisfied?"

_"It was only a matter of time,"_ Maes laughed out loud, seeming amused with the confession. And did he just _sing_ that retort?

"What're you talking about?" Roy questioned, brow furrowing.

_"That you and the kid were the only ones who didn't see it until now. I'm surprised you actually caved in so quickly; I was thinking it would be longer…but the sooner the better."_

"…You should have never followed me into the military."

_"Hey, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't even have met Ed a second time. You should be thankful."_

"Maes, I'll give you five seconds to-" The alchemist was about to say hang up the fucking phone. But when Hughes read Roy's actions over the lines, he wasn't about to let that be the end of it.

_"Come over? Wow, Roy, that's really kind of you. It'll at least take _ten minutes, _but I'll hurry!"_

The line went 'click'.

If Roy had had his gloves on, everything would have been going 'boom'.

* * *

Ed fought through the tangles in his wet hair, feeling the exhaustion of showering eating away at him slowly. Despite the little effort it normally would have taken him, it was obvious that he was still sick. Ed hated having to admit to it, since it would also mean having to admit that he was helpless and weakened. True, but it clashed with what the blonde wanted to believe. Though, deep down, he knew that it was possibly all his fault that this was happening in the first place...

Sighing lightly when the comb finally slipped freely through his locks without snagging, the Fullmetal shook his head much like a wet dog would. The dizzying after affect left Edward in somewhat of a daze, almost causing him to slip from his resting spot on the counter. His gripped the smooth tile with his fingertips, managing to scoot himself up a bit further. It wouldn't do him any good to fall and cause his body to panic. It probably wasn't even a good idea to be hanging around on Mustang's bathroom counter, either.

Moving his arm around so he could reach the back of his head, the instrument repeatedly skimmed through his drying hair until the alchemist was satisfied and tossed it aside. The dampness seeped through the back of his black t-shirt and chilled his skin, but the blonde enjoyed the feeling. Though he knew nurses and doctors would have given him an earful if they saw him, they weren't here. And he was grateful for it.

The teenager dared to steal a glance of himself in the mirror, slightly hesitating for the fact that he hadn't seen his reflection in over two weeks. Golden eyes drifted, and Ed slowly turned his head around to come face to face with his counterpart. He looked nothing like the Edward a month ago. Who was the pale, tired, sad eyed person who stared back at him? He had always been somewhat pale, yes, but with a bit of tan to his skin from all the years running amuck outdoors. There were always times when he was tired and depressed, but what he saw was something different. Loss and guilt laced his eyes, fatigue barely hiding itself. It wasn't him, but it was. And he hated it.

Taking his left hand, Ed brushed some of the hair out of his face and tilted his head up. He traced the grayish shadows resting under his eyes, running his fingers over his eyelids and down his cheek. He felt so cold, despite the feverish flush that was beginning to return to his cheeks. Keeping the pads of his fingers moving lightly in circles, Ed's fingers came to a halt at his lips, brushing over them with his index finger and then back.

"What the hell did I do?" He whispered hoarsely, tapping his bottom lip gently and tracing it from one corner to the other. The blonde's thoughts were immediately overrun with Mustang, Roy, the Flame Alchemist, Colonel, whatever the man could go by. Roy's smell, the way he walked, his husky voice, the softness of his lips, how he tasted…and damn, did he taste _good_. The intoxicating feeling and taste had long since left, leaving Ed with a strong remembrance. It was like being on a drug; it was good for the while, but who knows what kind of trouble it could get you into.

_Diiiiiingdoooooong._

The sound of the doorbell startled the teenager, sending his golden eyes wide and shaking up his breathing. The intensely muffled sound of the Flame cursing and shuffling towards the door was all Ed could make out, before the door opened. A loud voice greeted the colonel, sounding so familiar…and the even louder voice Roy used back only made the teen's deja vu even more real.

Shrugging it off and convincing himself that it was just some dumb door to door salesman, Ed decided to let it be. After all, he had more important things to worry about. One of those things just happened to be finding toothpaste to go along with the new toothbrush he had found in a drawer. It confused him, really, why the toothbrushes and toothpaste would be kept separate in a guest bathroom.

Searching through the few drawers that Ed had deemed safe to look through, the mini alchemist came up with nothing. No toothpaste. Even though there were the toothbrushes, floss, combs, anything…but toothpaste. And, without needing to be honest, the blonde wasn't in the mood to move his ass anywhere outside of the bathroom. Nor was he in much of a state to either.

Sighing in annoyance, Ed paused to let his speeding heart retract to normal. He knew he was pathetic, really; not even able to go searching for some damned toothpaste without exhausting himself

"Is there any toothpa-" Ed cut himself off as soon as he poked his head out of the bathroom and peered down the hallway. Maes tilted his head up and gave the blonde a 'the camera loves me' grin, waving comically. The teenager's eyes widened, and slowly looked to Mustang himself, whose head was buried in his hands. Ed's confusion was apparent as he looked from Hughes to Roy, Hughes to Roy, and so on. For a fleeting moment, it was perfectly silent, and then…

"Heya Edo!" Hughes called out in greeting, never letting his gaze leave the smaller alchemist. Edward, still frozen at the initial shock of seeing the lieutenant colonel sitting in Roy's living room, just stared. The older alchemist could feel Ed's eyes directed straight into his head; seething and ready to kill, or embarrassed and ready to die. Roy managed to make out the nervous sigh that escaped the blonde's lips as Ed gazed down onto them.

"I…um…forgot to flush," the blonde stammered helplessly, slowly withdrawing into the bathroom. As soon as his metal foot hit tile and the echo was released throughout the rest of the almost entirely quiet house, Roy peered out from between his fingers. Ed knew Roy couldn't see him, but he also was aware that the man knew he was still there and listening.

"Edward. Come here," he called out, voice muffled yet clearly audible.

"Umm…I can't," Ed replied simply, leaning heavily against the doorway for support. Ed could have sworn he heard Roy sigh in annoyance, which, if it was true, the blonde hoped the cause to be Hughes. And if not . . . then he would possibly be stuck in the bathroom of the Mustang household until the lieutenant colonel decided to leave.

Taking one slow, wobbly step out into view, Ed grappled for the wall to hold himself up. Just to prove his point.

Point proven.

Sighing heavily, Roy stood and began to proceed in Ed's direction. The colonel's face expressed an exhausted, albeit pissy, emotion that gave Ed a sense that he wasn't about to deal with any crap. And considering Ed even knew that he himself was thick headed and stubborn, things weren't looking too bright. The blonde's eyes widened, and he shook his head as the man approached with a small smile. "Okay, on the second thought: I DON'T WANT TO." Backing weakly into the bathroom, Ed only had a brief moment to about-face before he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him back. "Geoff me, damn it! Lemme go!"

"Ed, calm down," the colonel whispered as the younger man struggled briefly in his hold, trying to push his body forward with already little to no strength. "He already knows. Don't make yourself look stupid."

Freezing at the words, the blonde alchemist looked up into Roy's eyes, either stunned or too worn out to care. The Flame had a firm hold of his middle, though he wasn't forcing Edward to lean into when said boy did, head tilted back in confusion. "You…told…_him?" _He whispered, still bewildered about the appearance of Hughes, whom he hadn't seen for weeks.

Roy chuckled slightly, leaning his forehead down to Ed's and grinning. Ed was having a hard time gazing at Roy upside down, especially this close, and went a bit cross eyed. "Not quite." Ed's eyes narrowed, and he frowned.

"That doesn't…tell me why you l-let him in…" The comment was replied with another small laugh, Roy never looking away from his chibi's golden eyes.

"I didn't _let_ him in, Edward. He let _himself_ in. The ringing of the doorbell is just a warning." The blonde opened his mouth to argue more, but stopped promptly when Roy pressed a finger to his lips. "And he does have a reason for being here…I'm glad he came, otherwise I probably never would have gotten around to telling you about…" The Flame paused, shaking his head. "Never mind. You'll find out."

The Fullmetal's mouth formed a silent 'oh', before he broke gazes with Roy and tilted his head forward again. He felt Roy's lips lay against the top of his head, warm bursts of breath making him shiver.

"Of course, if you want to hear what I'm going to say, you'll have to come with me," Roy pressed, inhaling the sweet scent of Ed's damp locks. Said alchemist stiffened at the ticklish contact, squirming in the colonel's hold but refusing to open his mouth. When the man's breathing crept downward, towards his ear, it effectively caused the Fullmetal Alchemist to inhale sharply and squeak.

"Okay, okay. Just s-stop," Ed growled, pink tinging his cheeks and goose bumps crawling up his left arm. He could just feel Roy's satisfied grin as the man placed his hands on the blonde's shoulders, turning him around. The Flame picked the teenager up gently, and Ed wrapped his legs around the man's waist while his arms sought out his neck. Pressing his cheek to Roy's chest, Ed let out a contented sigh and relaxed. Despite the annoyance he had been feeling briefly before, anything like that could take all of it away.

"I knew you wanted to," Roy smirked, curling his arms around Ed's back and holding him gently. He heard the blonde's muffled snort as he nestled his head into the crook of Roy's neck. Said man chuckled softly before hoisting the Fullmetal higher above his hip and carefully picking his way through the bathroom and hallway.

On the way over to the couch, Ed was vaguely aware that Roy had swiped something from the fireplace mantel, and that Hughes was staring and grinning like a madman. But when he was tired, hurting, and inhaling the colonel's sweet scent, many things didn't matter. This one included.

With his eyes closed and thoughts all over, Ed was quite startled when Roy proceeded to dump him on the couch opposite of Hughes. He gave an annoyed yelp as he hit the cushions butt-first, his stomach dropping and causing him to break into a coughing fit. Roy dropped down casually beside him, but the teenager almost missed the apologetic look he was given.

"Bastard…" Edward managed to choke out between coughs, glaring at the man from out of the corner of his eyes. Wiping the corner of his mouth, the blonde struggled to get his heart rate and prickling anger under control again. As his coughs subsided and breathing slowed, Ed gritted his teeth and clenched a metal fist, sending a murderous look in Roy's direction. "I swear..."

"Swear what?" Roy purred, draping his free arm around the fuming blonde's shoulders. "You know we still have company here…so keep it clean, okay?"

At the word 'company', Ed froze, tilting his head to the side to get a better view of Hughes. The man sat as calm as ever, grinning away like the scene before him was nothing new. Hughes waved a hand at the two of them, laughing quietly.

"Now now, don't let me spoil your fun."

The teenager's cheeks turned a light shade of crimson, making his hair look even blonder. Stuck between a sarcastic colonel and an even more sarcastic lieutenant, he felt cornered. And outnumbered. Increasingly embarrassed of the situation he had put himself in, Ed wiggled away from Roy's half embrace and scooted himself over to the other end of the couch, taking a seat next to the pile of pillows and blankets. He took note of the disappointed look Roy gave, but leaned his head forward so his long hair fell loose over his shoulders.

"Aww, c'mon Edo, don't be shy." Hughes pouted, cocking his head to the side.

"Why're you here, anyway?" Ed asked quietly, averting his line of vision to intently study the designs on the rug below him. He felt shy and nervous in his state of sickness, not enjoying the fact that he had to depend on the colonel for support right in front of Maes and . . . more so, he was embarrassed that Hughes had to find out about them because of Roy's idiocy.

"Well…why don't you ask Roy here?" Hughes answered, casting a wry glance towards Ed nodding towards the Flame, "I'm sure he has an answer, eh, Mustang?" The glasses clad man pressed, simply shrugging at Ed's odd behavior and leaving it be. His over-all causality was obviously covering up something, Edward knew; something that was worth taking interest in and putting forth and effort to listen to.

Slowly looking towards the colonel, Ed let his golden eyes rest on said man, who was staring intently at something in his hands. Roy's deep blue eyes look completely lost in thought, a frown forming on his handsome face. Feeling it safe enough to sit beside Roy again, Ed inched his way over and settled himself against Roy's side. That's when he noticed the photograph the man had kept hidden in his other hand.

"He wanted me to tell you. About my brother. Not to mention, witness it firsthand so he'd know that I did, in fact, tell you," the man whispered, flicking the glass covering with little_ tick-ticks_. "It's not really something I wanted to share, because of Alphonse's passing, but Maes has a point. If I hadn't told you now-"

"Then you would have kept putting it off until it became impossible," Ed finished, laying his head on the colonel's arm. He could hear the man's rapid heartbeat in the silence, the sharp inhalations of air he took in, the masked look that always was covering his face.

"Hey now hey, I'm not here to be a downer," Hughes said defensively, hands in the air. "You two need something to relate to."

"We were going to manage just fine," Ed said lowly.

Hughes, who had grown almost frighteningly serious, pushed his glasses back up his nose. "No. I know you, Edward. The minute things get awkward you are always the first to go. And since you can't go physically at the moment, I can see you retreating from where you just came from," Hughes pointed out, and before Ed could open his mouth and retaliate, he continued.

"And you, Mustang, I know you even better. But you are more of an awkward situation producer who flees at the first feeling of doubt." The green eyed man paused, pointing his finger at one alchemist and then the other. "You two need common ground. And it needs to start now."

The three men sat in silence for what seemed like a quiet eternity, but in reality could be chalked up to maybe twenty seconds.

"I normally don't tell anyone about him," Roy started, glancing at Ed out of the corner of his eye. "He was eight years older than me," Roy said, fiddling with the picture frame in his hands. "He refused to go by his first name and insisted on his middle, 'Adam'. Jacob Adam Mustang. He was the kind of brother that would always protect you from the older kids, made sure his friends would let you in on their group, and get you something that you weren't tall enough to reach. We were like normal siblings, though, so we had our fights, but it would end up alright in the end. Whether the end took a few minutes or a month, we'd manage to work it out."

Ed curled his legs up, laying his chin on his knees and staring at the Flame inquiringly. The man caught sight of the honey-colored eyes and gave a sad smile. "Kind of reminded me of…well, you know."

Ed stared quietly at one of his toes, only being able to nod in response, showing his understanding. The teenager soon felt a sturdy arm wrap around his shoulders, pulling him close to the colonel's body for comfort. Ed leaned closer, resting his head on Roy's shoulder and enjoying the feel of the man's skin against his cheek.

Roy ran his finger down the picture one last time before handing it over to Ed, who lifted his head and took it eagerly. "People would say we looked alike, but I never thought so. Must've been because we were always around each other," the man said, leaning over the blonde and tapping a finger on the older figure in the photograph.

"You do," Edward whispered, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. And he wasn't saying it just to piss Roy off. Everything about Adam said Roy; the dark black hair, deep blue eyes, pale skin, it was all there. Ed could see the subtle differences in facial features, but it still didn't matter. Ed guessed that Adam was around fifteen, his hair grown out a bit long like many older teenagers tended to do, and Roy looked about six or seven. The older brother was standing tall, a hand on Roy's head and giving a peace sign to the camera, the same smirk on his face and light in his eyes. Little Roy was grinning up at his brother with the happiest look the blonde had ever seen; in fact, he had never really seen the colonel give a genuine smile.

"I don't remember my parents at all, so I can't say that growing up without them was much of a hindrance. I didn't, and don't, have anything to miss or become sad over. Our mother ceased to be involved in our lives when I was only a baby, and I was only four when our father was killed in a freak accident. Adam and I inherited the house and the money, fit enough for a very comfortable life if we had chose it that way. We were unbelievably close."

At the word 'close', Roy glanced down at the mini-alchemist curled up by his side. Ed's golden eyes stared back at the man before he finally got what he was trying to say. A light pink tinge settled across Edward's cheeks and the bridge of his nose, which would hardly have been noticed if it wasn't for his now fair complexion. Turning his face away, Ed offered the picture back to Roy with a quiet 'Here'. The colonel gazed down at the blushing Edward for a moment, before gingerly taking the photograph back into both hands.

"Legally, we were supposed to be living with our 'adoptive aunt', but the scenario with her was 'I won't tell if you don't tell'. So Adam advanced in his classes to the point of where he could get a job when he was sixteen, instead of ending school at eighteen. It took him quite a few months, but he landed his stubborn ass right in the military. When he came home that day and told me, he was my hero." The older alchemist sighed wistfully at those words. "I had never admired anyone so much in my entire life."

* * *

_"Promise that if anything should ever happen to me while I'm in the military, you'll go live with Grandma Eilene and Grandpa Tim. Alright, Roy? Ask Grandpa to take you to visit his friend. He might be able to teach you some fire alchemy, since you love those flames so much."_

_The morning was like all others. Unfinished homework, a missing sock, the sweet scent of brewing coffee, playful banter…And the normal "We're-going-to-be-late-again" dancing, frantic movements portrayed as the two brothers attempted to avoid collision in the hallways while trying to get everything together. The over-all causality of that day would have made Roy sick if he could have seen ahead. Seen what was to come._

_That morning, Adam had explained to his younger brother that he would be stationed in the western part of Central. Supposedly, arsonists had been hard at work setting blaze to a few buildings each night. The numbers had been climbing in building loses and, more importantly, death of citizens. Women, children, whole families…it didn't matter to them. One look of unease from Roy, and Adam had quickly assured his little brother that it would all be okay. "They're getting sloppy. And the sloppier they get, the sooner we'll catch them."_

_The good-bye wasn't enough. No more than a high five and a 'Good luck, see you later'. No, it would never be enough._

_"Sorry about your brother, kid…"_

_"That fire was brutal…he caught the arsonists, that's for sure, but couldn't get to the building quickly enough to get it under control."_

_"He wanted to make sure no one was in that building. He had his mind set on it. He knew how unstable the support beams were."_

_"A partially-collapsed lung, two broken ribs, a broken arm, countless burns and abrasions, internal bleeding…"_

_"Probably not too much time left, Roy. Make the most of it."_

_"It may not be my place to tell you this, but the next few hours will be the critical point..."_

_"Under thirty percent chance of survival. But, just keep hoping, okay?"_

* * *

_The walls were white, the sheets were white, the uniforms, ceilings, floors, it was all white…sterile and shiny and real. The bedside table, as bright and colorless as ever, held a slim glass vase and a single white rose. 'Get well soon!' cards littered the small piece of furniture, making the point even clearer that Adam was sick. Past repair. And the teenage brother, head bowed and fighting back tears, sat quietly in the chair, scooted as close to his brother as possible._

_He hadn't said a word. He didn't need to._

_Adam lay peacefully in his hospital bed, breathing a bit off rhythm and tan bandages looking so out-of-place on his naturally pale skin. The wraps wound around his forehead, up his arms, whispering beneath his thin hospital shirt. His left arm was set with a splint, wrapped up in plaster and held in a white sling. Each breath he took and let go blew his bangs to and fro, face peaceful despite the obvious pain his body must have been in. One of his bandaged hands was held gingerly in Roy's unscathed ones, his fingers caressing the rough dressings, as if in hope it would comfort Adam for the little time he had left in their world._

_He could feel how cold his brother's skin was through the bandages, how the color had given a new meaning to 'pale as a ghost'. Roy ran his fingers over his brother's continuously, gently; it gave him a small sense of relaxation. He only hoped Adam was able to acknowledge the calming gesture._

_"Hey Roy."_

_Slowly, the youngster looked up to his brother, heart hitching in his throat at the sight. He was tempted to look away from Adam, who had always been so strong, and almost did. "Y-yes?"_

_"Remember the…the promise you made me?" Roy nodded. "Keep it, alright?"_

_"But Brother, you're supposed to get better! Why would I have to keep it now? You'll be coming home in a few weeks, right?"_

_In a sad manner, the weak young man shook his head from side to side with a quiet 'no'. "I can't live forever, Roy. You know that. None of us can." It took Roy no more than a few seconds to comprehend what his brother was trying to say. His brows were furrowed during those seconds, before his eyes widened at the realization._

_"No, Adam, no! You can't give up on us just yet…you're the closest thing to Mom and Dad that I ever got. Don't take that away. You're needed here…what about all of your friends in the military? And Father's parents? What about me?"_

_"Sorry, Roy. Didn't mean to break my promise."_

_"Adam! No, please! You said everything was going to be okay! Why isn't it okay now?" Roy could feel Adam's gentle grip on his hand growing weaker with each passing second, and the fear it instilled inside of him was painful to bear. As if to help his brother hold on, the dark-haired teenager took a slightly firmer grip on Adam's one hand with both of his, leaning his chin onto the rough cloth that surrounded the burn wounds._

_"I'll always be with you when you need me, Roy. You'll never be alone."_

_The frightened tears that ran down Roy's face did not go unnoticed, for he hadn't cried in years and the dampness on his cheeks felt foreign. In a panicked state of confusion as his vision blurred, he swiped them away with one hand and didn't dare let go of his brother with the other._

_"No! Please don't leave, Brother! Please, for me, stay." Roy leaned desperately over the young man, staring into the eyes of his guardian and sibling. There, deep in the dark blue depths, Roy knew he was seeing relief, love, and an unreadable emotion. Sorrow, perhaps regret. "Jacob Adam Mustang, I need you here."_

_"Hey," Adam whispered, squeezing his little brother's hand. Roy looked up, snuffling and trying to wipe the rivers away. Adam smiled and nodded towards the window, the sky, and everything beyond. "They need me, too."_

_Roy pressed the cold hand to his face, taking deep, shaky breaths as Adam brushed his thumb back and forth over a delicate cheekbone. "I know."_

_"I know you do."_

* * *

Hughes, who was watching the quiet alchemists, was immediately motioned to leave, courtesy of the Flame. Roy knew that Ed would never open up with other people around, even if it was Hughes. With an annoyed huff but understanding shrug, Maes got to his feet and shuffled out of the room in a lazy manner, hands in his pockets and nose tilted slightly skyward. As soon as the reverberating echo of a door opening, then closing, did Ed speak.

"Weren't you upset?" He whispered, knees still curled up to his chest as he stared blankly at the coffee table before him.

Mustang looked down to the little alchemist, bewilderment filling his eyes. "Of course I was, Ed. Why wouldn't I be? He was the only one who took care of me for six straight years, and was there for me when I needed him." Gingerly swapping the photograph from hand to hand, the man's face seemed to change. And for once, Ed could read it; remembrance of pain. "Like Adam had told me to do, I went to live with my father's parents, but I kept our house. If I had sold it, I would have felt like I was losing another piece of him. I knew I couldn't handle that." A brief pause as Roy inhaled deeply, eyes closed, as if he didn't want Ed to see his thoughts.

"I wouldn't come out of my room for weeks, but I stopped crying. Only action could solve problems, not tears."

"But not all the time…right?" The blonde whispered, remembering the time a few days before when he had been told it was okay to cry. And he had done so, despite his stubborn pride. For once, Ed found it quite comical that the Flame had actually not followed his own advice. Unless he didn't figure it out until…

"It's not healthy to hold things like that back, true. But then I asked myself…is there anything I could have done to help? The answer is no. Adam went into that building, fully knowing he could lose his life to save someone else's. It was what he lived for, and I couldn't have done anything to stop him. And it was then, that instead of remembering and regretting any of the fights we had or that he had died young, I recalled good times. Even though I still do regret never letting myself grieve in the way I wanted to."

Ed hugged his knees tightly, his gaze fixed and unmoving.

"Believe it or not, Hawkeye's father was actually the one to teach me alchemy, and I concentrated on fire. I didn't mean for it to be cliché, as if I were 'learning to harness the very thing that killed my brother' or something along the lines of the sort. I'd always had an interest in fire. I was hoping to save lives like my brother had, but..."

The younger alchemist didn't need to look at Roy to know what the man was thinking. "It was an idiotic thing to dream, really. Dreams never come true, and that's the pleasure of them, really. After Ishbal…to be honest, it scares me, what Adam would think. Of what I've done."

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"I think he would be…well, proud of you." Ed ignored the quirked eyebrow and surprised face the colonel sent his way, releasing his legs and leaning into Roy. "You made some mistakes, sure, and you regretted them all. But I think he would be happy to know that you're trying to correct them, and to prevent more from happening. And, just…well, I don't know what I'm saying anymore..." The blonde coughed at his shortage of breath. "I'm not even sure if I'm making any sense."

Roy paused for a moment, mulling over the words Ed had been unsure of. "No, you make sense. I just don't know if he would even approve of anything I've done in these years." His looked down at Ed, who gazed right back up at him with a looked of mixed emotions. "Though the only thing I know I can do is try to meet my goal. That's the only way I'll be able to live peacefully with myself."

Roy felt a smaller hand meet his, skin silky and smooth, lacing their fingers together and holding tight. It was an unspoken comment, one that didn't need words. _I know what you mean._

The dark haired alchemist let his lips trail down Edward's forehead, ending at the tip of his nose before pulling away. Two arms, mechanical and flesh, wrapped around the Flame's neck and the weak teenager pulled himself into the man's lap. Roy shifted to allow Ed better access, and when they were both comfortable, the blonde let go and nestled himself into the older alchemist's arms. Ed felt warm and protected within that embrace, enjoying the closeness it brought them to. And when Roy trailed his fingers through the loose blonde hair, toying with the ends and running his slender fingers down Ed's neck, the adolescent slowly lost himself in the rhythm.

* * *

Hughes watched the two alchemists from the doorway, relieved to find that they weren't taking too much advantage at being left alone and unwatched. With a smile, he sighed and closed the door quietly enough so as not to disturb the colonel and Edward. The last thing he needed was an angry bomber on his ass.

Strolling confidently over to the desk, Maes swiped a few papers out of the way until he found the phone. Grinning like a feral cat, the man pulled the chair out from the desk and sat down casually, propping his feet up and reaching for the smooth black handle. Yanking it off the cradle, he quickly began to dial in a number, with several more in mind.

He had some bets to settle and money to make.


	8. Chapter 8: The Oldest Virtue

**A/N:** Ah, the joy of a new chapter. One chapter closer to being done, ladies and…do boys read this stuff?

**Special thanks to:** TehDonutSecks, Psycho Anime, IRobbedRobin, Mama Muse, Hawk Cold Eyes, DunTouchIt, Inging-Batong, PutThatAway, DanielDeathnote, , chococrack21, PuRE'Curse, silverbrumby123, ZaKai, TruthOfSelf, Roy-Fan33, HSK-spam, and Kichi-Hisaki. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 8: **The Oldest Virtue

Hospitals were old news. At least the first time around Edward had been nearly fully unconscious the entire time, so he hadn't had to suffer through it like Roy had. But the colonel had a feeling that this time his subordinate wouldn't be so lucky, as the doctor had already mentioned plans to keep him a few days more.

Roy could only guess what the poor kid was going through when he began to wake up. The nurses had told him Ed's vision would take some time to focus, and it could take him a day or two to become fully lucid again. The young alchemist had begun to wake up that morning, eyelids flickering in response to a shadow crossing his face, and so the colonel had waited patiently for him to come around.

His fingers wandered gently across Ed's warm forehead, tracing over blond eyebrows and the old scar that the teenager had kept knocking open over the course of a couple of years. Constant injury must have made the spot sensitive, because every time the colonel's fingers got near it Ed's facial muscles twitched and he sucked in a quick breath. Eventually Edward's eyelids opened just a crack, blinking sluggishly and staring ahead in confusion.

"You had me worried for awhile," the colonel said, removing his hand from Ed's forehead. The boy flinched as the cool air attacked his forehead, so warm from the colonel's touch. Roy propped his chin on his hand, elbow on the rail of the hospital bed. The blonde was taking in short, quick lungfuls of air, nose wrinkling. Roy agreed, the place reeked of sterility.

"Where…am I?" Ed slurred, his speech suffering from the drugs' effects. One side of the colonel's mouth pulled up in an awkward, albeit relieved, smile.

"Hospital. The day after Hughes left, you wouldn't wake up. At first, I thought you were just trying to scare me; but by mid afternoon, I assumed that even _you_ couldn't sleep that long on purpose. You've been in and out of consciousness for the past two days. Do you remember anything at all?" He asked, running his fingers through Ed's bangs are the boy attempted to shake his head no.

Clearing his raw throat, and amazing Roy at how talkative he was trying to be, Ed managed a gravely, "Why here?"

"Why do you think, Ed? You've made yourself sick by not cooperating."

Said teenager only proved the point by coughing, not sounding far off from two pieces of sandpaper grating against each other. Roy waited quietly for the spasm to end, watching as Ed struggled to breathe after it was over. "But I didn't do anything," he wheezed, trying to catch his breath. The older man laid a gentle near the blonde's check, stroking the pale skin softly until Ed began to quiet down. Once the room was nearly silent, save the labored breathing of a stubborn alchemist, Roy sighed. So full of it.

"You must be sick. You're talking." The older alchemist's gaze immediately softened when he realized what he had just said. "Sorry. Didn't mean for…I mean, it's nice to hear your voice."

Blinking, Ed shook his head weakly. "Bastard." His golden eyes widened and rolled in a circle, and Roy cocked an eyebrow. He looked downright dizzy, and the Flame felt a little bad for him. Ed sighed and closed his spinning eyes as Roy laid the back of his hand on his forehead, any tension left in him draining away at the man's touch. "You're fever is almost gone," Roy said in soft reassurance.

Ed suddenly jerked under the older alchemist's hand, throwing his head back into the pillows with eyes squeezed shut and teeth clenched. He lifted his flesh hand into the air, shaking with the effort it took him to keep from tightening it into a fist. Roy reached out and readily grabbed his hand, letting the blonde find some comfort in the gesture. His grip wasn't strong enough to be painful, though the colonel knew Ed had to be in a lot of pain. The doctor had warned him.

"Don't try to move; they've sedated you, and I doubt that your muscles will appreciate the extra exercise right now. You're body is just going through a medicated side effect; just calm down. It's alright here. I'm not leaving." Roy soothed softly, ruffling the soft blonde hair. "I don't know if you were aware of yourself or not, but you put up one hell of a fight trying to get away from that IV needle when they first tried it. If you hadn't been in such a bad state, I'm sure it would have been amusing for all of us."

Ed paused to gaze down at his left elbow, where the IV needle seemed to have been immobilized by an entire roll of thick, white tape. The discolored liquid inside the tube was moving at a fast pace, dripping continuously without a steady rhythm. The older man could see the gears of disgust turning in Edward's head, and the kid didn't even need to say he wanted to pull it out. But the tape that was holding the needle down looked like an awful lot of work, even to Roy, which was probably the only reason Ed let it be.

"I was worried you were going to sleep right through the new year," Roy said with a smile, trying to direct Ed's attention away from his pain. The dark haired man trailed his fingers down Ed's face, the pads of his digits gently tickling the Fullmetal's skin. Ed sighed lightly, trying to find some solace in the forbidden touch.

And unfortunately, that moment had to be ruined by footsteps striding purposefully down the hallway, towards Edward's room.

Needless to say, Roy hurriedly backed away from the younger alchemist, settling in his bedside seat before the same doctor that had diagnosed Ed the few weeks earlier entered the room. White coat neat and crisp, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, and clipboard as loyally in tow as Riza's guns were to her, Dr. Gray was easily intimidating. If it wasn't for his eyes, deep brown and friendly but stern, one would think of him as a stuck up tight ass. Still, though, the eyes weren't enough to put Ed off edge, especially when the doctor pulled the sheets down as he strolled past the bed.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen," Gray's voice was deep and clear, echoing a bit off of the bare walls and covering up the hiss his patient gave at the sudden cold his leg felt. "I'm sorry that this will have to be quick. I'm on the schedule for a surgery in a little over an hour, so I won't be able to spend as much time in here as I'd like to." He continued past the bed and towards the counter, dropping his clipboard onto the tiled surface with a clatter and pulling a pen out of his pocket. There was a long moment of silence as Ed fought the cold, Roy fought the urge to fix one of the oddest looks at Gray, and said doctor scribbled away at the top paper. The two alchemists then looked to each other, eyes locked, dark and light, each voicing confusion and annoyance before looking away again.

Not a few seconds later did the doctor drop his pen back to the counter top, laying a hand on the cupboards above as he turned to face the alchemic duo. Though, the serious look was more so fixated at Edward, who swallowed silently. "It's been a little over a month since you first became ill, Mr. Elric. Two weeks since you were discharged. You were stable when you first left, and showing signs of great improvement. You would have been ready to start caring for yourself again in a couple more weeks, but this has been a big setback. Not only for you," he said, pointing to his patient," But also for Mr. Mustang, who will have to deal with you for the lost weeks. I suggest you thank him if he's still up to caring for you." His voice was monotone and expression unreadable, mustache moving in time with his ever changing gaze.

"Eh..." Ed grunted, clearly pissed about being forced to lie down on an uncomfortable bed without his blankets or Flame Alchemist to keep him warm. The doctor strolled over to the bedside, prompting a look of panic from Ed's eyes as he took into his hands the stethoscope that had been hanging around his neck.

"And after talking to Mr. Mustang, it was very clear to us on _why_ you passed out in the first place." Putting the ear pieces in, Gray was quick to lift Ed's shirt and make it to the blonde's chest before he had any say in it. The teenager squeaked in protest, struggling to move away but finding that he was still unable to move.

"Refusing to eat, too much stress on your body from walking, and removing your IV. That is what caused this mess, Mr. Elric. By doing the above three, I'm surprised you didn't end up in here sooner." The old man frowned, moving the steadily warming instrument around the Fullmetal's chest, listening to his labored breathing and heart rate.

"Mmm..." Edward whimpered as the doctor placed the stethoscope over a sensitive part of his chest, the burning sensation unwelcome and unexpected. Roy waited on the other side of the bed quietly, squeezing the young man's hand gently to reassure him that he was still there. Thankfully, the doctor just took it as nothing more than a friend to friend gesture and went about his work.

"We took tissue samples from your lungs the day after you came in, Edward." Removing the stethoscope, Doc Gray pulled out the ear pieces and let it hang casually around his neck. Picking up his clipboard from Ed's bedside table, he made a few notes and then began reading from it, more so to Roy than Ed.

"When you first came in, your breathing was very abnormal. Very harsh and breathless, like you'd just come in from running it out with a train. Upon further inspection with a stethoscope, it sounded as if tiny pieces of paper were crackling in your lungs, which indicates that your lungs had trapped fluid and was holding it there. Your blood pressure was reaching new lows, and the skin around your lips and nails were taking on a very lovely indigo color. After taking a tissue sample from your lungs, throat, and running a CBC test, both came back with interesting results." Ed whined when Dr. Gray laid a hand on his chest, brushing over a few sore areas in an inspection to find the worst section.

"He's developing ARDS, acute respiratory distress syndrome, though I'm not surprised," Gray mused, tapping a finger right on the spot that was so sensitive and almost causing the blonde to yelp; thus, with no release, Roy's hand significantly suffered. "He was obviously at risk for any respiratory infections, with the anthrax and shock hitting his body as hard as it did, especially that particular system. I have to admit, I had a fear this would happen." Much to Ed's relief, the doctor removed his hands from his chest. The blonde breathed a sigh, loosening his clamp like grip on his superior's ever so slightly. The doctor had moved to inspect the IV line, running his hands down to look for any leaks or damaged ends. "But, I guess that I've been taught anything is possible with you, Mr. Elric, and..." Gray's voice trailed off as he frowned and went back over a selective spot.

"And...?" Roy drug his voice on, waiting for Gray to continue.

"_And_, if we had allowed this to sit for any longer, there would have been little chance for him." Noting that the IV was in good shape, and that the skin around it was healthy, the silver haired man let go of Ed's arm and adjusted the clamp on the lines to allow another substance to enter the Fullmetal's body. "You'll start feeling sleepy soon, Mr. Elric. Feel free to fall asleep if you want to." Once that was complete, he straightened up and made his way over to the clipboard.

"Damn," was all Ed had to say on the matter, foggy eyes looking on with a new disinterest at the diagnosis. He wasn't too surprised himself that he'd ended up back in the hospital with yet another thing to worry about, but for the fact that he'd have to stay was what ate at him. Roy, meanwhile, was reminiscing over Edward's hospital time in the past and he again realized his blonde's attitude would be changing within the next few minutes.

"We'll put him back on a lighter dose of ciprofloxacin for the anthrax, since it seems he's almost over it, but he will need it for the next couple months to keep it at bay. For the developing infection, we'll have to put him on a ventilator with high levels of oxygen and pressure to drive the fluid out, and keep the sedatives and medication flowing all night and tomorrow morning. I'll have him put on another antibiotic to combat the ARDS, which he will need to take every day, twice a day, at the given time. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't expecting him to last so long at your residence, Mr. Mustang. He's an extremely lucky young man." Scribbling the prescription onto the special form, the doctor continued, "Just don't expect him to recover fully for another few months at least, we may actually be looking at six months to a year. All this stress to his lungs has probably done some damage that will need a lot of time to heal." Signing his name neatly, Gray tore the paper away from the pack and handed it to Roy.

"So...I'm guessing that means no running or exercising?"

"Precisely. Just drop by the pharmacy the next time you're out and hand them that slip. Make sure they read what I've written about refills." Snatching up his board and pen, the old man proceeded out of the room and into the hall, where he stopped to make a few notes of the time and such.

Roy scanned his eyes over the prescription, the colonel remembered a question he had wanted to ask Gray for the last few days. Ruffling Ed's hair and promising to be back in a minute, he made his way out into the hall where Dr. Gray was making a few last minute notes. As the older man looked up from his work, the Flame motioned him to the other side of the hall, just in case the young alchemist could hear them from there. When the doctor complied, Mustang questioned him first.

"Why hasn't he recovered already?" Roy demanded, voice barely above a whisper. "I know a few weeks wouldn't have him 100 percent, but shouldn't he at least be improving every couple days? It's like he keeps getting worse, and this ARDS thing doesn't help that point at all."

"Well, I'm not too sure myself. But his lungs were most likely just susceptible to bacteria and such. As I also remember, you said he just lost the last of his family, correct?" At the younger man's nod, the doctor sighed heavily, looking back over at Ed and stroking his chin. "We don't get many like him at all, maybe one every few years, and sometimes none at all." He paused again, deep brown eyes lost in thought. "You have to understand what he's been through; loss, grief, and life-threatening illnesses. One would only think that Edward would strive to live, because maybe that's how he's always been. But it could possibly be that Mr. Elric doesn't _want_ to recover."

The colonel's eyes widened a bit, looking over to his blonde chibi, who was staring out the window with a distant look on his face. "But why would he? Are you saying he _wants_ to die?"

The doctor ignored the other man's pointed question, a sad smile of his own in place. "I'm not saying that he wants to. But, perhaps, it is a subconscious will. You know what doctors are saying these days. If the soul gives up, then there is very little modern medication can do. If he doesn't want to get better, it will slow down the process of his recovery. Or he just _won't_ get better. If that's the case, the only thing we can do is administer the drugs and hope for the best."

Roy sighed, looking to the doctor, then back at Edward. He could see the teenager's golden eyes following the movement of a few stray birds outside of the building, yawning every now and then with sleep soon to come. "I don't think he'd appreciate me speaking for him, but Fullmetal's a tough kid. He's been through so much before," Mustang responded.

"Tough indeed. We all feel grief, though, and Edward is no exception. Physically, he's not in that great of a shape. But he's probably worse off mentally, more than he lets us know." Ed had averted his gaze to them now, out of the corners of his eyes, looking exhausted but serene. He cocked his golden head to the side, rolling his stiff shoulders back before looking back out of the window.

"You would never tell by looking at him," Roy commented softly, watching Edward with some sort of admiration.

Dr. Gray shook his head, affirming the Flame's learned opinion. "To get him to improve, I just advise that you be there for him when he needs it; talk to him, comfort him. Who's to say he's even having any problems in the emotion department? Maybe he's just having some bad luck."

"Maybe. Still doesn't convince me."

"Sorry, Sir. That's all that I can offer you for now. I have to check up on a few other patients and get ready for an operation. Feel free to stay with him, Mr. Mustang. See if you can get him into the wheelchair for a walk in the halls for a few minutes, maybe. We'll keep the IV running and give him medication regularly, put him on the ventilator for the night and tomorrow morning, and he should be ready to go home by tomorrow afternoon. We'll give you the rest of the details when the time comes." The doctor turned away and walked down the hall, not sparing the colonel so much of a glance over his shoulder.

* * *

As soon as Roy entered the room, bag of hot cinnamon buns grasped lightly in his hand, he could sense the disgusted waves radiating off Ed. He could also smell something un-categorizable; the kind of thing that made your stomach trip over itself. The colonel cautiously rounded the tight corner, quickly assessing the scene before him.

"I see they've taken you off of the ventilator."

"It was fucking hell having that tube in my throat, but I'm fine now, thank you," Ed spat. "And I refuse to eat that shit," he said hoarsely, glaring at the tray of food in front of him. It looked as if someone had made an attempt to eat the food before he did, and that thought period was enough to turn him away from it. Hospitals were known to not have appetizing food, but this…well, took it to a _new_ level. If the mass of steaming, whatever it was, had suddenly sprouted legs and walked away, the blonde wouldn't have been surprised at all.

"Hello to you too," Roy replied, taking a seat at his young subordinate's bedside.

"Is this actually made from food? As in, nothing poisonous or cardboard or something?" Although Ed's sentences were still a little choppy and unfinished, the Flame could easily hear the difference. The younger man's tone was clearer and more audible, but it still had an unhealthy wheeze to it.

"No wonder you're small; you're too picky about your food. Just eat the stuff; it won't kill you." Judging by the half-hearted glare that Ed sent his way, full of anger and malice, Mustang could tell he didn't have the energy to throw the usual tantrum. Edward's prosthetic arm was crossed over his chest, saying very well that he didn't agree with the man's learned opinion.

"Just try it, Ed, okay? I brought cinnamon buns, so just try a bite and I'll let you have them." Crossing his arms stubbornly, the Fullmetal stared menacingly at the food being forced onto him.

Negotiating with kids never seemed to work anymore.

"I'm not eating it," the blonde snorted, closing his eyes and slumping down into the pillows.

To Roy, it was becoming increasingly evident that the more Edward improved, the more butt headed he became. He knew it was probably a side-effect of the drugs that was causing the rapid attitude 180, but he was learning to enjoy this part of Ed while he was still here. "Really?"

Ed nodded.

"You sure?"

Ed nodded again. There was a still silence, with both alchemists staring intently at the plate.

"Let's see you try some, then." Ed watched in satisfaction as Roy frowned in disgust, dark eyes glancing over the still steaming pile of…what was it called? Something Surprise? But by looking at it, even the Flame couldn't tell what the 'surprise' could be; the first bite sending you to your death bed, perhaps?

Eyes narrowing at the chibi alchemist, Roy grabbed the sack of the icing-covered rolls and threw them at Ed. "Spoiled runt. You're only getting away with this because you need to eat. Hope you know that."

Ignoring the comments made, Ed caught the bag with his automail hand, fumbling for it since his fine motor functions were still a little off. As soon as the bag was balanced on his lap, the mini-alchemist happily began to dig around its contents. As soon as Ed found the biggest roll, he drew his hand back out and took a huge first bite. "Hank oo Usang," he managed to croon with a full mouth, nearly choking on the sweet baked dough.

"Mhm. And I'm going to laugh once the medication makes you puke it up. Just don't let the team see them. Those greedy bastards will insist I buy for them for the rest of the year."

Of course, both were aware of the real reason; if the unit found out, Mustang would be known to have a soft spot for certain blonde alchemists. And him having a _'soft spot'_ was what didn't flow too well with said colonel. Especially since the second biggest mouth (Edward had claimed first place long ago) already had the office milling about in chatter about the two would have been easily voted 'Most Likely To Kill Each Other'.

"'S not my fault they're coming." Ed swallowed and winced, having forgotten his sore throat and now regretting it. The water was cool and soothing, not mixing well at all with the cinnamon bun taste left in his mouth, but going down much easier than orange juice or milk would have. Poor Roy had a particularly hard time paying attention to the conversation when Ed licked the icing from his fingertips.

"So all the blame goes to me?" The colonel pouted, reaching over and failing to snatch one of the sweet rolls.

"For the most part."

"And why is that?"

"You don't see why?"

"As a matter a fact, I don't. The problem must be too _small _for me to see."

If you have ever seen someone acquire a bruise from a pastry, you can guess that they pissed someone off badly enough to deserve it.

"You sure you're ready to see everyone? Even though you should be resting..." Roy trailed off, but Ed held a hand up to silence him.

"You're not my fucking parent. Lay off." He yawned softly, stretching his arms in the air and cracking several stiff spots in his back. Roy placed a gentle hand on the boy's head, ruffling golden hair that was still free of its restraint. With a half sigh, half groan, Ed dropped his arms sluggishly and leaned back into the wheelchair.

"Worn out?" Roy questioned, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Without all that medication, you know how quickly you're going to crash?"

"Let's just get the damn visit over with already," the Fullmetal snapped sleepily, making the whole phrase into one sentence. Shrugging, the colonel lifted his hand from Ed's head and flicked his ear. The teenager growled a warning, clenching his teeth with a gritting sound to show his annoyance.

As if on cue the door soon slammed open, cutting the conversation short. Roy plopped his ass soundly in the chair beside Edward's bed, and the blonde possessively hid his cinnamon rolls under the sheets. His guard was up and he looked like a force to be reckoned with, despite being so ill. Havoc was the first to poke his head into the room, grinning when he saw the two familiar faces.

"Well, Boss, looks like you're feeling better," Jean commented, grin in place and nodding toward the blonde. "You wouldn't even talk to us when we came to visit the first time."

"Did anyone else comes with?" Roy questioned, folding his arms as Havoc stepped fully into the room.

"Ah, Hawkeye went down to get some coffee with Hughes. The rest of the unit couldn't make it; either Hawkeye scared the shit out of them or they were serious about all the work that needed doing." Jean grinned, leaning against the wall opposite of the young alchemist's bed and nodding towards the hallway. "She didn't trust Maes to get the coffee by himself. What with all of those people down there, we wouldn't want him scaring them all off with those damned pictures of his. I decided to just come on up."

"Avoiding the dangers of women as always, Lieutenant," Roy responded pointedly, calling Havoc's bluff.

"We all have our own methods of self preservation, even if the danger is quite attractive," the blonde man bravely said, before opening a pack of cigarettes and pulling one out. Roy frowned in disgust, but Jean just shrugged it off and stuck the cigarette in his mouth.

"You know Jean, she might like you a little more if you break that habit."

_Chew._ "Mm…I'll think about it." _Chew, chew, chew._

Not even a minute later did Hawkeye come marching in, bag tucked under her arm and holding harshly onto one of Hughes' ears while the man stumbled after her. "Keep a note on this one, Colonel." Pulling up sharply in the middle of the room, Riza glared at Hughes while the man whined about wanting to be let go. "He's lost his hospital coffee privileges. And no one will say otherwise unless _they_ want to go with him."

"Ow, Hawk!" The man yelped, gingerly allowing himself to be led, but only for the fact that he feared losing his ear. Ed gave the pair a rather disturbed look that they all had become used to since the day they'd met him. But all were too busy studying Hughes to care, and Hughes was too busy trying to keep his body parts intact. "I don't know what I did wrong to be abused!"

"Making a fool out of your self is what!" The woman barked, releasing Hughes' ear and allowing him to regain his balance. Coffeeless hands flailed the air as both feet fought to find the ground, and the absence hadn't gone unnoticed.

Roy raised an eyebrow, nodding towards Maes' empty hands. "Where's your coffee?"

The Lieutenant Colonel grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah, funny story about that-"

"He caught his first victims in the elevator," Hawkeye explained hotly, glaring at the family man.

"And it all went to hell from there, right?" Havoc finished for them.

"Victims! How could you call them victims! Victims of my Elysia? I don't see what's so wrong about that!" Now free from the iron grip on his ear, the Hughes dug in his pocket for only a moment before he was shoving glossy looking photos into Mustang's face. "Look at how CUTE! And they want to say 'those poor people'! Can you believe that? I mean, honestly; look at this face! That's Mommy's hat and shoes she's wearing! Doesn't it just make you want to-"

"Hughes!" Roy bellowed, making even Ed flinch. "I have already seen that picture. Twenty. Seven. Times. If I see it again, it will be no more. Understand?" The Flame growled, clenching his teeth tightly for emphasis. His voice suggested pure rage, but by the look in his eyes, Edward could tell he was bluffing.

"You really do suck at lying, Mustang," Hughes pouted, tucking the photos back into his pocket while the Flame's eyebrow gave a tick.

"Lieutenant Colonel, you came here to visit _Edward_. I don't think he needs to visit _Elysia_ right now. Are we clear on that?" Hawkeye said, who had gone back to formalities since her blood has stopped boiling.

"But-"

"No."

"They're-"

"No."

"She's-!"

"Corner! Now!"

Shoulders slumping in defeat, the normally cheery lieutenant turned away from the rest of the people in the room, grumbling words under his breath that one wouldn't normally hear him say. Poor Ed was as lost as ever, one eyebrow arched so high it look as if it had disappeared under his bangs. But, of course, he would never cut his hair, even if it meant having one eyebrow once and awhile.

"I guess he learned a new trick?"

"Very funny, Edward." Hawkeye looked over her shoulder to make sure Hughes was standing dutifully where she had sent him, before digging around in her bag. Roy took a step forward, away from the wall, as if sensing the file folder she withdrew had his name written all over it. Which, in truth it did.

"Colonel, these need to be signed. Sorry for the short notice, but the Fuhrer will be needing them."

Walking over to the sniper, he took the file folder and was relieved to find out it didn't weigh much. "It's alright. Fullmetal, behave yourself with these two, okay?" His blue eyes met with Ed's gold ones, and the teen nodded understandingly. Giving one last look towards the bed, where Riza and Jean were now crowding around, he spotted the window not a few feet and away and decided it was as good as anything.

Laying the paper filled file on the window sill and deciding to try and get the small pile finished, the colonel brought out his pen and paused for a moment to look outside. White, fluffy looking clouds were beginning to gather over central, promising a clean snow while a light breeze brushed any of the rogue leaves away. From the third floor he could still see the streets, which were quite empty considering it was a Saturday. If you forgot the fact that it was just barely below freezing, it would have looked like a nice day to go for a walk in the park or something of the sort.

Sighing and half-heartedly turning his focus back to the reports waiting to be approved by him, Roy began the grueling task of adding his signature to each one. As he looked over the first one, he could hear Hawkeye, Havoc, and Ed quietly conversing among themselves, the 'How are you doing?'s and 'What's up with you and the colonel?'s and 'Havoc, take that damned thing out of your mouth!'s (quoted by both Riza and Ed) sticking out continuously along the way.

Shaking his dark head to clear the distractions from his mind, the colonel scratched his name onto the paper. And another. And another. And a few others until he was beginning to wonder if it was bad for your fingers when they go numb from signing too many papers in too less of time. And when Hughes, out of nowhere deciding that spending his time in a corner wasn't a proper way to visit, swooped down next to him, Roy nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Sorry there, Colonel." He grinned, and Roy glared; but Maes' expression wasn't a comical one that time.

"Do you always have to do that?"

"Do what?"

"That…_thing_."

"What _thing_?"

"You know, sneaking up on people. Coming up behind their back. Making them feel vulnerable. That thing."

"I do that?"

"You haven't noticed until now?" _Scratch, scratch, tap, scratch. _Hughes cocked his head to the side during the silence, edging up closer, towards the other end of the sill.

"So…how's Edo been lately? Besides ending up here and all," Hughes asked, leaning onto the window sill as Roy scribbled away on his paperwork. There was a short silence as the alchemist shuffled the papers around, sending the finished report to the back and starting on a new one.

"He's fine…but usually, he's not been himself. It seems like he shuts himself off from the world; closes the door and won't open up. Or he's so dependant it can be unnerving." Placing a few initials and signatures in the needed areas, Mustang moved the paper to his completed pile. "I'd rather have the loud mouthed brat he used to be back. At least that had some entertainment value. What he does now…" Roy paused, looking out the window. "It's just not like."

Maes tsk-tsked, wagging a finger at the other man's face. "On the contraire. That is every bit of normal Edward. When the world is put on the shoulders of someone so young, there's no easy way for them to free themselves from it. You can really tell the poor kid is struggling on the inside, but he would never admit to such a thing to anyone."

"Mm..." Roy responded, raising a single eyebrow, but continued to work.

"He's not the type to open up. He figures that it would be so much easier to not get attached to these people, so it wouldn't hurt as badly if he loses them." Leaning closer to the window, Hughes looked down to the ground level and continued. "I can guarantee that's what Ed is doing now…well, in a way. Though he doesn't try to hide it as much. He's not afraid of what people will think, but he _is_ afraid of the pain. Look at him now."

Turning his head to the side, so as to look as inconspicuous as possible, Roy watched the blonde out of the corner of his eye. And sure enough, there was a tell tale difference in the way he was just acting around people. Mustang could see Hawkeye and Havoc really making an effort to cheer Ed up (_Hawkeye_, for God's sake), but the blonde wasn't accepting the gesture.

Looking back to his friend, frown and concern in place, Roy sighed heavily. "I don't know what to do with him. I'm always there when he needs it. What more can I do?"

Maes contemplated the question for a moment, and Mustang when back to signing before Hawkeye noticed and he got his ass shot for it. "That's all he needs; you're going about it how you should. I'm not saying that Ed's wrong for not getting the idea, since he's confused and hurt right now. _You_ just need to wait for _him_. Get what I'm saying?"

"I sure as hell hope so." Finishing up the last paper, Mustang quietly began putting them back in order. "Why are you always the one to knock what should be common sense back into me?"

"Because it's not always as common to the person who is dealing with it directly." As Maes turned away from the window to join the other two soldiers, Roy looked back over his shoulder.

"So how did you become such an Edward Elric expert?" Roy questioned, curious, but slightly jealous too, in a way he wasn't used to feeling.

"I've paid attention. I've seen him more as a person, less of a brattish child here for himself," Hughes answered, laying a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I know you did everything to help those boys. You guided them through tests, gave them every lead you could find, allowed them to get away with more than even you felt was acceptable. But I don't know, Roy. You never stopped to get to know them as people."

Mustang pressed two fingers to her forehead and held them there, eyes closed. "Hughes?"

"Hm?" The Lieutenant halted and looked back towards his friend, head cocked to the sude.

"Thank you."

"No problem, buddy," responded the smiling man, but Mustang interrupted again.

"And one more thing. If I may ask a favor..."

"Sure…"

Roy jabbed a thumb at the, for once, gunless woman, and in the most hushed voice he could mange, "Could you get her outta here? I just need a few minutes."

The non alchemist chuckled lowly, understanding written all over his face. "Taking care of that gun again, eh? We really owe you, Mustang. Someday she's going to find out and kill you."

Hughes bounced over to the blonde woman, who was doing her best to ignore him, but gave up as soon as he started waving a hand in the air. Especially when that hand got dangerously close to the side of her face.

"What is it, Hughes?" There was a long silence, at which Ed cracked an eye open to see the two military officers staring each other down.

"...permission to go potty, Lieutenant."

"...you've got to be kidding me." Riza deadpanned at the immaturity of the man, who was three ranks above her nonetheless, sighing and turning to look at the others. The glasses-clad man shook his head with a grin.

"Does anyone else have to go?"

Steadily, and with a pointed look from Mustang, Havoc's hand crept skyward as well, unease visible in his eyes.

"Why didn't you two go earlier?" When no response came, Hawkeye sighed again, turning away from the group and waving to two men on.

"Thank you, Mommy," Hughes crooned, trailing after Riza like the woman's dog, Jean following suite soon after.

"Hughes, shut up. Havoc, quit getting so close. Mustang, I'll be back in five minutes." And with that, the soft clicking of heels on the tiled floor echoed up the hallway until it fell silent.

"Finally," Mustang sighed, hurrying over to the bag Riza had brought along with the paperwork. With a curious Edward watching, he carefully opened the bag, looking determined and maybe a bit nervous as he began rummaging around its contents. Not much later did he stick his whole arm in, digging around what sounded to be many papers and folders. "Found it," He said proudly, pulling his hand back out to reveal and very, very shiny, and very, very lethal looking gun. Snapping it open, Roy grappled for a package that he had kept wrapped (and, for the most part, out of Ed's sight) since he had come back from the store that morning.

"Hawkeye's 'special' holiday gun," the man informed the dumbfounded blonde, tearing through the thin paper lining of his package, revealing what seemed to be bullets. "She always carries this specific model around at the military ball, and we now know to never let her go armed. Learned that lesson the first year round."

"What're you doing?" Ed questioned, eyebrows furrowing as he nodded towards the gun in Roy's hands.

"Blanks," the older alchemist replied, emptying the bullets and then re-loading the gun with their defective cousins. "Unlike any other parties, this is the only one Hawkeye will allow herself to drink at." Checking that they fit properly, Roy added another. "The first year that this happened was the year we figured out Riza misses her targets on purpose. The drunker she is, the better she is at hitting her targets."

"Fun fun," Ed whispered, yawning softly.

"No need for sarcasm." The colonel, having worked with guns constantly at the beginning of his military career, easily finished loading the blanks and buried the gun back where it belonged.

There was a long silence, at which the older alchemist attempted to make Hawkeye's bag look as not-broken-into as he could. And knowing that the woman had sharp eye for anything out of place (especially with her 'babies'), Roy could only hope that Havoc and Hughes were enough to distract her for the time. He soon abandoned the bag, more so in fear that he was just making it look worse and tampered with, and paid more attention to the small pile of papers and the folder they were given to him in.

"Roy?" Ed called tiredly, exhaustion and pain etched into his voice. Tawny eyes were downcast and vacant, letting all who looked at the mini-alchemist know that he was about to pass out from fatigue.

"Hm?" The colonel answered, neatening the small pile of completed paperwork and tucking it into a folder that he would hand off to Riza later. He turned towards his chibi, who, for the first time since that morning, lifted his head and looked him honestly in the eye.

"We can I go home?" the blonde whispered, laying his head back onto the pillows and closing his eyes.

Roy gave a small smile and stood, stepping over to the tired alchemist and laying his lips gently on Ed's forehead.

"Soon," he replied softly, pulling away and brushing his hand across the feverish skin. He heard the boy sigh lightly, and his deep blue eyes took in the sight of his little alchemist. And, in surprise, he noticed something about Edward that he hadn't seen in awhile. Don't get him wrong, the expression wasn't true. It was far from being anything other than a simple show, but it still fed Mustang the hope he'd been searching for.

Ed was smiling.


	9. Chapter 9: Decorated Degradations

**A/N: **This chapter is a bit shorter than the others. A little fluffy. I'm trying to avoid the use of the word 'Christmas', as I don't think they have a religion pertaining to it. However Christmas was purely a celebration before it was Christ's birthday so I am just going to call it the 'winter holiday'. Hope you enjoy!

**Special thanks to: **The New Fullmetal Alchemist, Mama Muse, Roy-Fan33, HSK-spam, blood-fire-dragon, narutonarutolove, PuRE'Curse, Psycho Anime, Me And My God Complex, Redkenja, Hawk Cold Eyes, kaywahphobia, cherry fantasy, TehDonutSecks, Brieanna, Danybel, Onee-san, Danybel-Haine, PutThatAway, FoxxyKat, nika tao, daisukiangel42, Lo-sama, tippytoes, Decapitated Marshmellow, Kuroi Koori (HI BROOKE!), sunny-rain, Angel Spirit, , DunTouchIt, Inging-Batong, and DanielDeathnote. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 9:** Decorated Degradations

Edward had arrived home from the hospital a few days before without a hitch. Perhaps a bit more down for the count than he had been before, but still in better shape than his impromptu medical admission. He had even kept his IV line in like the obedient teenager he never was. And he was quiet. Very quiet.

Edward was never meant to live in such silence. He was the essence of noise in all its forms, the heart of arrogance and yet still a prime model of humility. When he was pissed the hair on his head almost stood up like an angry cat's, and everyone within a mile knew about it.

Edward and Alphonse had always balanced each other out through the years. Though the balance was more of a tug of war, equilibrium conquered and the rope always ended up even. When Al balked at danger Edward backed him up, and when Edward went hurdling into situations Al was there to think ahead. The colonel had assumed that, without Al, there would be no controlling Edward. He would be all nails and teeth and flailing limbs, crude insults thrown without a thought and more or less creating chaos in his very wake. Especially if it meant regaining the very being that brought equivalence to his life. There was a time when Al had revealed to Roy that one of his reasons for following his older brother was to make sure Edward didn't turn into a jerk.

The only thing that was familiar to Ed's face these days was the scowl he had perfected at a very young age. And while the colonel knew he was hurt and hurting, the time of year couldn't be helping. It would be his first winter holiday spent without family. And Roy knew how it felt.

The colonel hadn't set up an evergreen tree for years and years. Hell, he hadn't even bothered with any sort of holiday decor in that amount of time. There had been a time a couple of years back when Havoc and Breda had drunkenly attempted to hang red and green streamers from his ceiling, which ended in the house looking like it had been TP'ed in a holiday fashion. The terrible twosome had conveniently disappeared afterward and even more conveniently taken a week of holiday leave.

The situation had gone unspoken of, and red and green hadn't been introduced to the Mustang residence since.

But Roy had decided that perhaps tree decorating would be a good distraction for Edward. Since the dork twins owed him for their streamer shenanigans anyway, he had them pick one up while he and Edward were at the doctor for the blonde's three day checkup to ensure he didn't need to be re-admitted any time soon.

Ed had been mildly surprised when they walked into the great room to find the tree settled by the fireplace. Roy was pleased to find that not all things in winter called for being drunk, as Havoc and Breda had managed to pick one out that was rather nice looking. It was possibly a bit short, but the colonel wasn't going to let that one slip for fear of losing his head.

"Mustang?" Ed said flatly, looking up to the colonel, who was finishing the process of hanging his coat on the rack. He didn't pay the blonde any visual attention, instead inspecting his floor with an agitated air.

"The least they could have done was sweep up all the needles," Roy grumbled as he nudged them out of the walking path with his foot. Ed slipped out of the puffy winter coat he was made to wear, kicking his boots off as he did. He was still clad in the light blue scrubs the doctor had offered up instead of the hospital gown, which Ed had eagerly accepted. They'd had to get him the biggest kid size they had, and while the doctor didn't bring it up Roy saw the size on the package. He hoped there weren't tags on the inside of the scrubs or he'd be hearing about it later.

"Do people regularly break into your house to leave trees?" Ed asked, following suit with hanging his coat. Roy pointedly looked at Edward's boots until the boy huffed and prodded them under the coat rack.

"Only when they owe you a favor for a two years past holiday failure," the colonel answered, holding out his hand for the blonde to lean on as he was lead to the couch. It was the automail one, rough gloves scuffing at the older man's palm to the rhythm of Edward's uneven stride. Both legs were weak, but it was easy to tell the automail was significantly more difficult to control in his condition. But in an Ed fashion he didn't complain, plopping himself onto the couch, gently squeezing Roy's hand before he let go.

"They even strung the lights for you. Must have been some fail," Ed observed, watching Roy as the older man rounded the couch and approached the doorway under the stairs. The teenager turned in his seat and set his chin on the back of the couch, golden eyes soft yet attentive.

"I would tell the story, but I think the names 'Havoc' and 'Breda' do it well enough."

Ed stifled a small laugh, either playing out his own scenario or knowing exactly what had happened. Either way the two lieutenants were drunk and had gotten away with scenery murder. The colonel looked at his subordinate with a quirked eyebrow, and Ed quickly restrained any humorous thoughts. "Why'd they decide to pay you back now?" He averted, voice trembling a bit in his effort.

"I figured it would be a little something to do," Roy explained, opening the closet door under the stairs and pulling out several plastic bins, all the while thanking his subconscious for not hiding them in the attic. "Get your mind off of things."

Edward watched with interest, chin resting on the back of the couch. "Whatchya got?"

Without missing a beat, Roy opened a bin, pulled out something circular and tossed it at Ed. "Flesh hand," he commanded, and Ed obliged, easily catching the small sphere. It was wrapped in tissue paper, which was pulled away to reveal a delicate little bulb. He held it up by its metal hook, twisting it between his fingers, letting the glass spin and catch the light.

"Ornaments," the blonde said, answering his own question.

"I don't have many," Roy explained, gesturing to the three plastic bins. "But they're enough."

He held out his hand and Ed placed the globe in his palm, watching as the colonel hung the first ornament at the middle of the tree. "I'll pull up a chair if you want," Roy said, looking over his shoulder. "I know it's rough on you to stand and I'm afraid that couch is a bitch to move." The blonde alchemist looked so inquisitive at the offer, so much so that he almost hid how uncertain he was.

"I've never decorated a tree before," Ed admitted, resting his chin on the couch back once again.

Roy paused and this time both dark brows were raised. "Really now," he said, waiting to gauge Edward's reaction to see if he was joking or not.

The boy shrugged, a light flush coloring his cheeks as if he were embarrassed. "We never really celebrated the winter holiday time in Risembool. You know how nuts some people can get. It's a heretic holiday."

"Thank you for indirectly calling me a dissenter," the colonel said flatly as he popped the top off of another container, lying the lid against the wall.

Ed laughed quietly. "That's not what I meant at all. Small town folk, small town views. Know what I mean?"

Roy shrugged and smiled. "From assumption, I do," he said, and Ed slowly nodded as he realized the older man's point. It had been a silly question really, Mustang had never lived in a town without paved streets and homes so close together you could shake hands with your neighbor. They were such different people, right down to their very way of life. But instead of feeling uncertain about it the colonel felt intrigued at the opportunity to learn a thing or two.

"You're not much for anything not in the big city, are you?" The blonde interrogated, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as if he were proud of his little jab at his superior's lifestyle. The colonel took it in stride, his heart doing a little somersault at the sight of that trademark smile.

"It's much easier to live in the city you work in, no?" The dark haired man countered. He leaned onto the back of the couch to Edward's right, their faces merely a foot apart and eyes locked onto one another.

"Where did you live when you worked out east?" Ed asked, all innocence if not a bit of curious.

"Locked up the house and lived in an apartment there. Thankfully that stint didn't last long. The east was a little too backwoods for my taste," the colonel said, letting his walls down a little to test the waters. Edward took the bait and immediately pounced on Roy's words, all teeth as he predatorized an admission that in all fairness deserved to be. The older man was asking for it after all.

"You are so domestic, city dweller," Ed said softly, amber eyes falling half-mast as he smirked. Well then. If Edward was going to not only snip at him but also steal his smirk, then it was time to play a little dirty. Almost literally.

"At least _I _never reported in to my superior officer covered in mud because a 'little dirt never hurt anyone'," Roy almost purred, leaning toward Edward another couple of inches. The teenager backed away as the older alchemist did so, honey brows furrowed as he grit his teeth and huffed in a highly offended manner.

"That was ONE TIME," Ed ground out, eyes squinted but not quite glaring. "Not my fault if you recall, I left the apartment _clean_."

"Tracked it in all over my carpet. Hawkeye was not pleased," Roy mused, tapping the boy in his nose. Ed's forehead crinkled with misgiving and his teeth snapped together with a warning _click_.

"Do that again, I dare you," he snapped as the colonel chuckled and stood.

"Come on," he said, beckoning to the pouting teenager with his hand. "Let's grab you a chair and get this show on the road."

* * *

Most of the ornaments in Roy's possession weren't anything special. Nothing more than the typical run of the mill red and green, gold and silver bulbs. A few were made of crystal glass, such as the one that had been tossed at Edward. But throughout his years in the military, the colonel had come across his share of ugly, funny, and otherwise interesting tree decor.

Ed was fascinated with the ornaments, and slightly bemused by several of them. He would occasionally hold one up for Roy to explain as they conversed.

A group of snowmen in blue uniforms. "Modeled after the team," Roy explained, pointing out each soldier and naming them while Edward was failing miserably at trying not to laugh.

"Does Hawkeye know about this?" The blonde wheezed as he gestured to the little pistol that was perfectly shaped after Hawkeye's favorite automatic.

"Hawkeye knows everything, Edward," Roy said pointedly, plucking the keepsake from Ed's hands and hanging it near the top. They had long since run out of room within Edward's confined reach, but the boy sure didn't mind giving his opinion on where it should go.

"Near the top," he said breezily, handing the colonel a miniaturized state pocket watch. Oh how badly Roy wanted to hold it up to the boy and quip something along the lines of 'just your size'. He could see his tree getting knocked over in the boy's attempt to grab him and beat him mercilessly. Roy did not feel like cleaning up all of the glass that was surely to be embedded in his skin.

The alchemic duo were nearing the last of the knick knacks, the blonde commenting on the end by rummaging at the very bottom of the bin before handing Roy a small Xingian flag on a metal hook. He looked less than surprised as he handed it over, as if an assumption had been confirmed and he was pleased with the truth.

"I always had a feeling," he said quietly as the colonel gently hung it. "A little more to the left," he told the older man without missing a beat. Roy did as he was ordered with a smile on his face.

"My mother. We assume that's where she went when she left," Roy explained as Ed proceeded to paw at the bottom of the plastic container.

"Roots are where people feel the most comfortable when they're scared," Ed offered up, if only to prove he was paying attention. The crinkle and rustle of tissue paper filled Roy's ears, and one side of his mouth turned up in a crooked smile. He was just about to tell Ed to leave it be, the thing was empty, when the blonde came up with one last gem.

Ed pulled a small glass jar hanging on a ribbon out from the container and studied it thoughtfully. "How about this one?" He asked, presenting it to the colonel on a flat palm.

Roy's smile sobered up quite quickly, and he looked at the jar with a sort of bitterness in his eyes. He reached out and lifted the jar by its hanging ribbon to give the both of them a better look. Two silver rings, one flat and the other holding a diamond, clinked inside.

"My parents' wedding rings."

"Oh," Ed said softly, eyebrows tilting up apologetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine," the colonel said as he hung the jar on a branch. For the first time Edward just observed the hasty placement, his silence reflecting the sudden change in mood. "Just hunks of metal, nothing more."

"That expression doesn't stem from something that's nothing," the boy said quietly, bravely challenging Roy's obvious lie.

Dark eyes turned their attention to the bin at Ed's feet, his hands flattening the mess of tissue inside. "What do you want me to say?" He asked, snapping the lid on the bin and moving it from Ed's reach.

The blonde gave him a funny look, thoughtful yet bewildered, like the older man was a problem that held a skin deep solution. "Nothing really," Edward finally said, flicking his blonde braid of his shoulder. "Just making a point."

"I was too young to remember them. But my brother remembered it all, and it was tough on him. Some of that anger in turn became my own," he admitted, stacking the bin on the others that were empty. He gestured to the couch without looking up but could hear Edward sigh. The colonel wondered what it felt like to be so sick, to not be able to do something as simple as stand for more than ten minutes.

"I understand," Ed said quietly as he rose from the chair with a wince. "What it's like to be angry at someone who abandoned you, for whatever reason." He hobbled over to the couch, leaning on the structure for support as he rounded the edge. He lowered himself gently into the plush cushions and sighed again, this time in relief. "Al remembered too. Maybe not as well, but he did. He was just always so forgiving. Good natured too, it's a wonder I didn't rub off on him." He said this last bit with a little smile in Roy's direction.

Roy wanted to smile back, but his face was frozen in an emotionless state. The colonel felt mildly uncomfortable, as if he were setting foot into territory that would burn the skin from his soles if he didn't move past it fast enough. This wasn't supposed to be a part of the day. The point was to take the boy's mind away from all of this mess, not lead him right into it. He vaguely wondered if it was as much for Edward as it was for himself, his subconscious whispering he really was a coward, because here was this broken boy wanting to talk of his recently torn apart family, while Roy's was nearly twenty years dead and buried. And he didn't want to spare them a second thought. He didn't, he couldn't.

"The military ball is tomorrow."

Edward looked at him with an expression that was at first unreadable, as if he were trying to figure something out. He then took on a dismal but yielding appearance, laying his chin on his hand.

"The one you talked about while I was still bed ridden?" He asked, tugging his automail leg up onto the couch and following it more easily with his flesh leg.

"Yes," the older man confirmed, abandoning his position at the tubs and walking around the couch towards Ed's mobile medicine center. "There is to be no talk of the current situation."

Ed hesitated, and the smile dripped into a somber expression. "You mean Al," he said, voice a bit sharp, plainly telling the colonel that his brother was _not_ a 'situation'. People were not situations and Roy felt almost slightly guilty. This working side of him was the one Edward didn't take kindly to. The older man felt himself become all sharp edges, yet he couldn't help it. When life was rough life became work, because work had strictly cut answers, life became science and science didn't have room for emotion.

Roy nodded. He unwrapped the IV cord from the stand and held up the tube. Edward obediently held his wrist out, laying his head against the back of the couch and looking over the colonel's shoulder.

"How many people know?" He asked, masking his voice to that of the dullness of his partner's. He was such a shit sometimes. He really, really was.

Lesson teaching and Roy Mustang did not go together cleanly. But as he took a deep breath and attempted to grit out an answer that would please his blonde companion, he felt Edward relax, if just a bit. He flashed his captivating eyes straight into Roy's as the man inserted the tube into the port at his wrist, before closing them and stealing away the sunshine.

Manipulative, beautiful little brat.

* * *

For the first time that night, Edward found his way into the colonel's bed. As long as he kept the automail wrapped up, Roy didn't mind. It was so relaxing and peaceful Ed almost didn't wake him up in the early morning with a blood curling scream.


	10. Chapter 10: Dance Lessons

**A/N:** So I guess that you now know I haven't abandoned you, it's acceptable to beat me with a stick or crowbar or something painful. But before you do that, I'd like to make an announcement:

This chapter is dedicated to my BFF, Brooke, as a very, very late birthday present! Happy belated birthday! I wuff you!

**Special thanks to:** Roy-Fan-33, foggybrains, Kuropuu, sunny-rain, Pretty Lies, Hikaru Irving, The New Fullmetal Alchemist, TehDonutSecks, Whaleosaur, Luna-Lunak, Lex Sterling, Neo Diji (I am flattered!), blood-fire-dragon, yosei11, kaywahphobia, DunTouchIt, daisukiangel42, Danybel-Haine, Batman FTW, cherry fantasy, Brieanna, purplewriter22, Hawk Cold Eyes, Lomelindi, zeromage, meheeners, xXArkaLachlanXx (You're back! Yay!), Ining-Batong, EdoElricLover, PuRE'Curse, Flagger, Mama Muse, Horatio'H'Caine, EdsGurlMitsuki, Vampiress-Enchanted, golden-kitsunebi, Luffy D. Monkey, Psycho Anime, knighted lioness, EnsignChocolateSauce, kirallie, Addanight, , foxy crimefighta, naonaonao, StarMimi, Evil Pixies Are Yummy, theo darkstar, Kikiko, WhisperedDaydreams, Nekoblue7, shipet100, foreverforgotten5, Wateria88, The Teenage Writer, DanielDeathnote, and PutThatAway. WOW! Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 10:** Dance Lessons

_Al was gone…they were all gone, weren't they? Nothing could exist long in this kind of darkness…he couldn't see anything, couldn't see anything…_

"AAAAAAL!"

_Someone was screaming, he could hear them. But who? He couldn't think over the shattered shrieks, couldn't think at all…_

"GIVE HIM BACK! AAAAAL!"

"Ed? Ed!"

_Someone was yelling his name too, a different voice. And they were grabbing him, they were holding him back. How could they? He needed to get to his brother. He needed to…_

"LET ME GO! I'VE GOT TO GET TO HIM!"

_They weren't letting go. They weren't letting go. God, they weren't letting go…_

"LET….GO!"

"Your dreaming, Ed! Wake up!"

The whimpering had started before Roy had taken his shower, and he had thought nothing of it. Ed did that constantly, whispering inaudible pleads and crying out while he was asleep, and the man had even heard him sobbing. But he had _never_ heard Edward Elric scream. And in a few seconds after the whimpers, Mustang found himself holding down a sleep drunken Edward, who acted as if he were fighting for his life.

Funny. He never imagined having to pin the blonde down over something like this.

And he hoped he never would have to again.

Fists were swung, sheets became entangled, golden hair was tousled. And nothing could seem to wake him. Roy kept yelling, Ed kept screaming, and it even became worse when the younger man started thrashing. And was it just Roy's imagination, or did Ed's voice just reach a new peak? "GET OFF OF ME! AAAAAAL! COME BACK!"

"Edward!"

Roy had decided that if his neighbors didn't call the cops, it would be a miracle. If such a thing existed.

_"AL!"_

In the end, it was Mustang's surprised shout that woke up the shrieking teenager; Ed had managed to land a good punch with his automail fist into the Flame's neck, effectively bringing the nightmare and his screaming to an abrupt halt. The older male had no time to pay attention to the afflicted area, because Ed was finally awake.

And life was utterly silent. Ed, automail still touched to Roy's neck, stared wide-eyed at his fist. The loose white t-shirt Roy was wearing was rumpled, and pulled at the collar and various other areas, clearly suggesting Ed had done much more than just flail. He had grabbed. Kicked. Elbowed. And, with growing horror as he looked at the man's hand gripping his wrist, bitten. Ed listened to his own rapid breathing, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, trying to make sense of why his was so quick and Roy's was so slow. His pulse picked up a few more beats per minute.

Ed almost didn't notice when, ever so gently, Roy lowered his fist and let go. The blonde let his arm fall limply to the mattress, and Roy leaned back, legs tucked neatly underneath him. He didn't say anything, only studied his young subordinate with a worried dark stare. Edward looked up, sweat rolling down his cheek as he met those eyes, feeling his own widen. They regarded each other, no more than six inches between them, Ed's breaths coming out in short, hurried gasps.

"Roy," Ed whispered brokenly, his mismatched arms encircling the man's neck. The colonel returned the embrace, fingers brushing soothingly down Ed's back.

"Shh…it was a nightmare. You're fine." The words were muffled by a head of blonde hair, Mustang's breath warm and calming against Ed's scalp.

Through kind words and gentle rocking, Ed began to calm down. The violent shaking had deterred into nothing but tiny tremors, at which the blonde's arms finally slipped from Roy's neck and he sat back onto the mattress. Blinking blearily, he looked up to the colonel, taking in the masked expression and dark blue eyes. He couldn't tell if they were angry. Or confused. Or wary. Or all of the above. But in that moment of awkwardness, Ed would have given anything for that mask to be shattered. Because in that moment, Ed was vulnerable.

And it was so very lonely.

Whatever he'd done or damage he'd caused didn't seem to matter to the older alchemist. Gently and trying not to scare Ed off, Roy draped his arms around the teenager's back and brought him close again. The blonde accepted the embrace, though he didn't bother returning it. That would have called for too much thought and energy. But what helped was that someone was there for him for once; someone could hold him together when he needed it. Even if he was still emotionally alone, his body had the comfort it didn't just desire, but needed.

"You gave me a scare," The dark haired alchemist murmured, staring at the wall behind the bed. He felt the boy's muscles stiffen and closed his dark eyes, sighing.

The boy's eyes widened and he threw himself out of the colonel's lap so harshly that it startled them both. The shaking returned in a violent shudder, the blonde's breath escaping him in short, gusting bursts. His eyes slowly focused onto Roy's face, as if he was shocked at his own actions. Edward reached a hand out slowly, almost as if an offering, then jerked back in such a way that would have suggested the Flame had burnt him. They sat there for a moment, eyes boring into the others, Ed's arms propping him up and Roy's still open.

"Go away," Ed said hoarsely, averting his eyes to the side.

"Edward?"

"Please, leave," the boy replied, pleaded almost.

Roy's eyes softened and he lowered his arms. "…Ed."

"I said leave!"

"Why?"

"GO!"

"…not until you tell me why."

Ed scooted away from the Flame, back against the headboard, putting as much distance between them as he could. The cream colored sheets followed Ed backwards, protesting against the Flame's weight on their other half, bunching and wrinkling and tugging viciously at the man's knees. Ed's chest shook with each wheeze that was his breathing, eyes glaring knives as he regarded his superior. As Roy looked a moment longer, he could see that there wasn't just anger in those gold eyes; everything from earlier was still there, if hidden beneath that layer. And then he knew why.

"Who did you see?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ed snapped, bringing his knees to his chest and crossing his arms on them. He watched as the man swung his legs off of the side of the bed, one hand gripping a quilt and the other pushing himself up. His body was so lithe, so muscular and elegant and Ed could have kicked himself for thinking so. Especially at the time. He buried his face in his arms, listening to the creak in the floor as the older alchemist advanced towards him. A moment later, Ed felt Roy dropped the thick quilt over his shoulders. The teenager gladly pulled the heavy material closer to his body, even though he refused to look at the man.

"…you know exactly what I mean, Ed," Mustang said, his voice quiet. "Who did you see?"

"Fuck off," Ed replied, darkly.

Mustang reacted as if it were a term of endearment. Ed saw the man's hand move towards him, and he lightly touched Ed's cheek – his fingers were callused and cool, but still very warm against the boy's ice cold skin – and Ed only lingered in the touch for a moment before pointedly jerking away. Mustang didn't pursue it; Edward could feel the shift in the bed, the mattress dipping down and the springs creaking as they accepted Roy's weight.

The tension in the air felt unbearable, and the blonde could feel Roy's frown as if the man were right in front of him. The silence was long, in which Ed first noticed the ticking of a clock, and another one (must have been the colonel's watch), and the birds singing out, the drip of water from the bathroom…

Roy was the first to break the stillness.

"Whenever someone gets too close, why do you always push them out of your way?"

Ed pulled the blanket tight around his shoulders, face still turned away in an ignorant manner. His golden eyes had lost the lively look they normally bore, but instead carried a dull anger.

"Answer me, Ed."

The undirected glare sharpened, along with the way the teenager's hands tightened on his crossed arms and how he spoke. "…because."

"'Because' worked when you were four." Roy's voice was harsher than he knew it should be, but Edward's defiance was wearing down his nerves. The kid was stubborn and unpredictable, yes, but the man hadn't expected to be pushed away as suddenly as he had been. And if the pattern followed like it had in the past, Ed would shut down and completely deny that anything outside of his own little world was happening.

The man sighed, running a hand through his hair and all the while keeping his eyes fixed on Edward. "Hughes and I have come up with reasons, but I want to know about what you have to say."

There was a short silence, through which the teenager preferred to fix his angry gaze at inanimate objects. "I thought I told you to screw off, Mustang."

Said man raised an eyebrow at Ed's response, though not in surprise. Once Ed had already turned against you, harsh words could do very little to amaze anyone. Roy snorted and leaned back, pressing his palms into the mattress. "In all truth, it was fuck off, but at least you're talking. Maybe we're finally getting somewhere."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Oh? Try me."

Ed paused, mouth open wide as if to answer, before snapping shut. His voice came out much more softly than Roy imagined it would, but all the easier to understand. "I'd rather not."

"And why is that?"

Ed lowered his head even further, bangs fully shielding him from the world and Roy's strong gaze. The blonde felt a burn in his throat when he coughed, and the colonel's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You're always hiding things from everyone. Sooner or later, people are going to get tired of it," Roy whispered, looking at the teenager with a softer look.

The blonde he directed the statement at snorted. "So I don't have a right to keep my mouth shut?"

"I'm not saying that, and you know it. It's not a bad thing to talk once in awhile if there's something on your mind."

One minute. Roy waited.

Two minutes. Ed shifted, uncrossing his arms.

Three minutes. Roy waited.

Four minutes. Ed re-crossed his arms.

Five minutes. Roy sighed.

"I'll be in the bathroom. You'll need to pick up the pace soon; I don't want to be late for the winter ball tonight, and you're coming whether you want to or not." The bedsprings creaked as Roy lifted himself up, padding across the wooden floor towards the bathroom and not sparing a backwards glance. Ed could feel the tension in the air as thick as molasses, stifling and uncomfortable even with most of its source gone. He hugged himself tighter, expression softening into one of remorse.

"I just can't let you help, Mustang. You don't need to deal with this. I don' t want you to think I've gone crazy, because I'm starting to think I have."

* * *

Ed woke minutes later, having dozed off to the sound of running water from the bathroom from, what he thought to be, Roy filling the sink. But what had woken him up...that definitely hadn't been water. Looking at the bedside clock and discovering that his nap had been short lived, the blonde yawned loudly and scratched his head. If it hadn't been water, then what had...

_Crrrrrack._

Ed's breath hitched in his throat at the noise, which sounded much like the crunching of gravel beneath one's shoe, but with more of a ring to it. Sitting up and wrapping an arm around his tender chest, Ed coughed twice and then quieted, tilting his head to the side. A curse, and he could hear the colonel rummaging about the bathroom in, what seemed, a desperate attempt to find something.

_Shhhhkdididing._

Now that he thought about it, that sounded much like . . . glass. Breaking, being swept away, into something. But why would there be broken glass in Roy's bathroom?

Oh. Wait. There was a good reason.

Because it was _Roy's_ bathroom.

And when glass was involved, there was also a reason to be worried. Or, in Edward's case, curious.

Golden eyes looked down to where the IV was attached, staring at it in mild disgust and knowing that he'd probably pass out if he accidentally removed the needle as well. Everyone had always assumed his fear of needles was a silly childish reaction that he'd never grown out of, but he had never hated needles much when he was young. At least until the automail surgery. After his artificial limbs had been attached, the daily shots had lasted for a few weeks at the least; one for his muscles, one for the pain, one for fighting off infections, and more for who knew what. Five years later, all in all, he just was never in the mood for more needles.

Gripping the plastic of the IV end, he gently eased the dripping liquid out of the port in his elbow. It slipped out with little difficulty and he shakily hung the tube next to the bag of whatever they were dripping into his body. Disgusting. He flexed his arm a bit, working through the stiff feeling for a few moments before planting his hand on the bed and shimmying his way to the edge of the bed.

"Shit. I'd better be able to walk…" He muttered, swinging one leg over the edge at a time and feeling the chill of the floor even before he eased himself onto it. Cold, yes. Freezing even. And the ever present sharp jolts up his legs sending him into an unneeded head rush. Leg pain, a cold foot, and a headache from just trying to stand up. The world hated him. Which is why the blonde decided to get it over and done with, gingerly picking his way across the hardwood floor until he reached, what he thought to be, a dresser, and he happily placed a hand on it to take some of his weight and balance.

Damn the heavy automail.

"Come on…one foot, then the other..." Walking wasn't as hard as it had been a week ago, but the stress it put on his body was still breathtaking. Breathtaking being the kind that steals your breath away from pain and effort, not amazement.

His hands kept a secure grip on the colonel's dresser, gliding them over the top and edge whenever he took a step forward. He wanted to use his own legs and balance instead of depending on something else; he wouldn't get better otherwise. The faster he healed, the faster he could find Al's murderer. And make them pay for what they'd done.

Once he had reached the edge of the dresser, Ed took a few wobbly steps before gripping the door frame with his left hand and hauling himself over. Luckily for him, the door was already cracked open a bit and would save him from unwanted attention.

As the blonde peered in, he saw that for a bathroom, it was incredibly looking. The colors were all neutrals, pale grays, tans, and whites, illuminated by the skylight stealing the morning glow from the sky. Immediately to his right was the shower, in front of him the large walk-in closet, beside that the bathtub, and to his left the counter. He could see Roy leaning all the countertop, hands propping him up as he stared into one of the two sinks. Ed quickly figured out that it must have been filled with water, because the Flame's gaze was fixed, and he couldn't think of anything else in a sink that would be so interesting.

Cocking his head to the side, Ed pushed the door open a bit further and gained Roy's attention when it creaked. Their eyes met for a brief moment before the older alchemist resumed his vicious staring contest with the water; or his reflection?

The first thing Ed noted once he had a better view was that there was blood on the counter. Not a lot, but enough to cause concern. Roy's right hand, which had been hidden from Ed's view before, was wrapped in a hand towel with a thin line of red seeping through.

"I see you're done with your tantrum," Roy said dully, blue eyes piercing the water with anger. Ed felt himself shudder at the tone; the one that he used to get when he failed a mission or did something unlikable that was bad for the older man's rep. The Fullmetal was silent as he clung to the doorframe, the door still pressing lightly against his hip and elbow as he waited for permission to enter. The last thing he needed was an even-further enraged colonel. "I don't see why you do that."

Ed remained quiet and still, golden eyes staring at the tiled floor in remorse. He felt suddenly felt slow, like the rest of the world was moving far too quickly for him. His face fell as he looked away from the frown and furrowed eyebrows of the older man. _'I knew you wouldn't understand me…'_

"If you think I'm blind, Edward, you're wrong." Ed looked up sharply, wide eyes immediately looking to the colonel, who still had his head bowed. "I know you don't want to hurt anymore, and you think that the only safe way to stop that from happening is to make sure that you push anyone who cares about you away. So if something should happen to them, or to you, neither of you would suffer from it. You always take it upon yourself to do what you think is best, but you never stopped to realize what you're doing."

The blonde lowered his head, bangs draping over like magic to hide his face. A hushed quiet spread over the large bathroom, breaking only when Roy stepped back from the counter and took a seat on the bathtub's edge, not gaining any reaction from the Fullmetal.

"Ed," the colonel called, getting said teen's attention slowly. "Come here." The man patted his leg like a he was trying to coax a frightened puppy. Ed hesitated at first, but then took a few shaky steps until he found the counter and was able to support more of his weight. He couldn't bear to meet the colonel's gaze on the short walk over, couldn't stand to see those sad dark eyes fixed to his own. Very carefully did he drop his hand from the counter, struggling to keep his balance, his legs feeling weak and shaky from the weeks of under use. The colonel's warm lap was much more forgiving than the cold, hard tile, two strong arms folding around him to shield him from the world. If Roy was in any discomfort from the automail, he didn't show it. Instead, he laid a dark head onto Ed's bright one, hot breath causing the younger alchemist to shiver.

"Ed?"

"Mm."

"Am I right?" He whispered softly, leaning close to the boy's ear.

"I don't know…you surprised me. I…never thought I'd wake up in your bed. And then you were so close, too close. I don't like people being so close. It feels dangerous."

"Even being around those who care about you doesn't make you feel safe?"

"No," Ed said softly, shaking his head, "Ever since I lost Al, I always have a constant feeling that I'm going to lose something else. Something almost as meaningful as him."

Roy sighed, resting his chin on the blonde's shoulder. "So you are afraid of being hurt?" Ed nodded. "What about those _you_ care about? Pushing them further and further away won't do any good; most of us are too stubborn to accept that."

"I can be pretty stubborn, too."

Another sigh; aggravated. "I _know_ that. But if you feel something bad is going to happen…then why don't you stay to protect them?"

"I don't think you need protecting, Mustang."

"Who said this was about me? What about Winry? Your friends in the milit-"

"If I couldn't even save a little girl, then what makes you think I can help an adult?"

Roy froze, recalling exactly what- _who_ Ed was talking about. The little girl, Shou Tucker's daughter, and her dog. His distant memory gave him the name 'Nina', but he couldn't quite recall if that was correct or not. His smiled sadly. "…everyone will need saving someday, Edward. Some things are just out of our power. But we can work to prevent them from even starting."

Ed turned away from the shoulder the colonel was occupying, eyes distant. The older alchemist lifted his head, knowing that he'd pressed the issue long enough to get a point across. Stopping there was the best thing he could do now. Edward Elric was a complicated person, and was the first that Roy had to think around a few things before opening his mouth. He wouldn't want his chibi any other way, though.

Sometimes…he liked a challenge.

"Why…why'd you do that?" Ed finally whispered, looking pointedly at the man's towel wrapped fist. Roy followed Edward's eyes to his injured hand, gripping the cloth tighter.

"Oh…don't worry about it. I just…I just slipped," Roy answered, gingerly unwrapping the makeshift bandage to reveal slash marks across his knuckles and fingers. He flexed his them slowly, and even though he didn't wince, the blonde felt the muscles in his arm tense. "I get careless when I'm angry."

"I made you that mad, huh?"

The colonel snorted. "Lucky it wasn't the gloves. I'd advise you to not do it again."

"I can't help but be me."

"Smartass."

"Thank you." They were quiet for awhile, Ed leaning against Roy, Roy looking over his injured hand, and the injured hand hurting like a bitch (though Mustang would never admit it.) "What'd you hit?"

"Huh?"

Ed nodded towards the older man's hand. "What made you bleed?"

"Oh." Roy looked over the small wall separating them from the rest of the bathroom, nodding towards two miniature mirrors. They were meant to be in a column of three, but the middle one was missing. "I missed the wall and hit one of those little mirrors."

Ed sighed. "If you hate looking at yourself that much, then why do you have those little things everywhere?"

"Where'd you get the idea that I hated looking at myself?"

"You never look in mirrors much, even when you're in here, the bathroom, with the biggest ass mirror ever."

Roy turned away and sighed, running the uninjured hand through his hair. "They were there as long as I can remember; I don't know who originally put them up. My brother kept them because he believed that they were our mother's. I couldn't move them after his death; he would have been pissed."

The teenager's mouth formed a silent 'oh', and he looked back to his lap to avoid saying anything else.

"I could have sworn he was a girl." Smirking, the older man tilted his head down to look Ed right in the eye. "Gee now, I wonder-"

A fist found its way to his face so quickly that Roy wasn't startled because it hurt, but because a swing like that came from a teenager. A short teenager. A short teenager with health issues. Ed growled a warning deep in his throat. "Don't even start with me."

"Fine," the colonel sighed, laying his hurt hand back on the towel. "Before you do anymore damage, can you reach over onto the counter? There should be some gauze and tape." Ed did as he was instructed, fishing around for a few seconds because he couldn't see over the wall before coming up with the medical supplies. "Thanks."

Gingerly, the older alchemist began to roll the medical gauze around each finger, criss crossing in so many different patterns that it made Edward dizzy if he watched. Once each finger was gauzed, Roy repeated the same patterns with the medical tape, sealing the under bandage and preventing too much movement. The blonde did, in fact, find it fascinating to watch his superior as he skillfully finished, tossing the tape and gauze back onto the counter.

"A lot of practice, I see…" The Fullmetal murmured into Roy's chest, nodding towards the finished bandage job. The man had done it neatly and quickly, wrapping it so efficiently that he still had a little bend to his fingers.

"You get a lot of it out on the field. Either do it yourself, or deal with it."

"Mm."

Roy laid his head on the boy's shoulder and they stayed that for awhile, just taking in each other. The older man's breath was so warm against Ed's neck, the sound of his heart beat nearly lulling the blonde off to sleep. But Edward having just woken up, and not wanting to deal with another nightmare, the Flame nudged his drowsy chibi lightly. "Don't fall asleep on me. I should probably get the shower started for you, anyway."

Furrowing his eyebrows, Edward looked up at Roy with his eyes half lidded. "I can start my own damn-" The pressing of warm lips to his own cut of any argument Ed was about to start, effectively distracting him to the point of no return. The teenage alchemist stared speechlessly when his colonel pulled away. The man licked his lips and nodded towards the shower, a silky smile in place.

"I'll start the shower." Ed could do nothing but not in response, dumbfounded.

Roy stood and gently lowered a tense major to the ground, ruffling his blonde hair before padding over to the shower. Edward had braced himself against the little wall, watching as Mustang leaned in and turned on the water, and the hissing of warming water filled the room.

Ed wobbled a few feet out until he reached a sink, then wiggled himself onto the bathroom counter, shivering as the cold marble met with his right thigh. Roy was still busy distracting himself with the water, holding two fingers under the spray before lowering or raising the different temperatures. Once the initial shock of the freezing counter top vanished, Ed began to swing his automail foot back and forth while studying the older man's determined frown.

"You know, if it's not exactly right, I'm not going to melt," Ed mumbled, concentrating hard on one of his steel toes. Roy looked over his shoulder, with one of those expressions, just blank and scary and that made one feel stupid. Ed shot the look back, raising an eyebrow. "What are you, a perfectionist?"

The Flame snorted in answer, turning back to his current work. "Just wanted to make sure the water wasn't going to scald you; it can be hard to tell if it's the right temperature when you play with fire for a living." The teenager had to bite back a retort, sealing his lips to a thin line to resist the urge. He didn't know why he still loved to prove Roy wrong, but there was just something so satisfying about it.

"What's this dance thing anyway?"

Roy, who looked over his shoulder, quirked an eyebrow. "Do you ever pay attention?" Ed stopped swinging his foot and scowled.

"No need for you to be a bastard about it. Bastard."

Roy shrugged, turning his attention back to the water. "It's a formal occasion thrown for the officers by the Fuhrer. Everyone gets dressed up, eats a lot of food, gets drunk, and dances. I can't say I've ever enjoyed it, but there are a _lot_ of people there. A_ lot_ of people.. Anyway, the water should be okay now. In you go."

"Who said I wanted a shower?"

Roy chuckled, running the temperature-testing hand over a hanging towel. "Since you're coming with me, then you are _going_ to take a shower. I don't think the higher ups would enjoy knowing that I wasn't taking proper care of you."

"You call making out with your subordinate 'proper care'?"

"Maybe. But you'd better behave yourself when the higher ups are around, alright? The last thing I need is to be labeled a fraternizing pedophile; Hakuro is just waiting for a slip so he can get rid of me. Hint taken?"

"Mhm. But you just called yourself a pedophile."

"Yeah…so?" Roy answered slowly, eying the grinning blonde.

"So you admit that you're old."

"No, I admit that I'm older than you."

"But still-"

"Considering you're young, it doesn't account too much."

"ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M STILL A GOD DAMN KID?"

"I'm saying that I'm not old, you're a teenager, and that you'd better keep your ass in line at the ball. Got it?"

Ed pouted and started swinging his legs again, careful not to dent the cabinets with his metal leg. "What time is this thing anyway?"

"Hmm. It starts at seven, but we should get there around 6:30 or so. That gives us four and a half hours to get ready. I think we'll be fine." Roy turned and walked out the door, catching the handle in his hand and pausing to look over his shoulder. "Oh. And if you need help, don't hesitate to ask."

He smartly shut the door at Ed's prompt, "GET OUT!"

Mumbling to himself, the blonde carefully slid to the floor and found his balance easily. Right as he was starting to tug his shirt off, the door slammed open and there was an explosion of clean clothes (and a box of plastic wrap) in his face.

"Use the wrap to cover the IV port, and get in the shower before it gets cold!"

"What the- get the hell out, Mustang!" Ed shouted, throwing the fresh clothing away from his face and onto the counter.

"Just warning you..." The man smirked and closed the door before Ed had a chance to retort.

"Stupid bastard," the Fullmetal murmured, glaring at the wooden barrier for a moment, wondering if he had enough energy to go after Roy before affirming a negative and leaning over to lock the door. As soon as he was satisfied the (obviously) over confident man was a safe distance, Ed exhaled sharply and wobbled his way back to the counter.

He slowly began to peel his sweaty clothes off, shivering even though the air was warm and the running shower was only making it warmer. The clothing fell away a piece at a time, piling up on the floor in a heap. He hadn't meant to look in the mirror as he turned to pick up the towel Roy had left out. Really, he hadn't. But he did.

His reflection stared back, eyes holding him captive, practically begging to be allowed relief in tears that were always held back. The young alchemist would not be swayed, once again denying them their way. It was a weakness he could not give in to, at least not anymore. Seeing that they would not be cured, golden eyes drifted down a too thin body, reminiscing over each and every scar he could see. Edward could almost taste the feeling of the automail where it was attached; he never did understand why Winry loved it so much. All he saw was the cold he desperately needed to be rid of.

* * *

Roy soon found that, despite being a guy, Ed was extremely picky about what he wore. Roy had settled on a simple black and white tuxedo, and had spent a lot of his time trying to coax Edward into doing the same. Seeing that it was his job in life to be the complicated one, the young alchemist promptly turned up his nose at each and every suit the dark haired man had offered. Bearing in mind that, if he was up to it, Ed could transmute on of Mustang's few suits and make it smaller to fit himself, so size wasn't an issue.

After a lot of sputtering, insulting, and general quarreling, Ed eventually gave in, settling on a dark navy suit and quickly transmuting the clothing to fit him

All that ranting for something so simple.

"Why do you have to be so complicated?" Roy sighed from the other side of the bathroom door, quickly buttoning up his white dress shirt.

"Why do you have to be such an annoying bastard?" Came the hoarse reply, which sounded much more like "Whu o oo ave oo ee uch ah aooying ahard?", thanks to the hair tie firmly held between his teeth. His thick golden hair, although still wet, was braid-able; under certain circumstances, it was not. This time around, it was the fact that his left arm was so tired after a shower and getting dressed that it wasn't. Sliding the tie onto his wrist, Ed sighed in defeat and proceeded to just pull a brush through his silky blonde mane, making a mental note to have Roy braid it later.

Soon it was laying soft and feather light against his back, and he sighed while lying the brush down, running his fingers through the long strands. It must have been at least two feet long by now; he didn't plan on cutting it. It should be weird thinking that hair held memories, but that was how he felt. Twirling a long lock around his fingers, the blonde sighed again, wistfully.

That kind of peace never lasted long.

Ed squawked and nearly fell off of his perch on the counter when Roy barged through the bathroom door and straight into the walk in closet, not paying Ed or his current shouting any attention.

"YOU JERK! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, JUST RUNNING IN ON ME LIKE THAT? I COULD'VE BEEN CHANGING FOR ALL YOU KNOW, PERV!" He yelled, immediately regretting it and nearly losing his place during the coughing fit. He could hear Roy over his wheezing, sifting through the suits and jackets and uniforms and whatever else a closet was supposed to hold. And even though you couldn't see or hear a smirk, the younger alchemist knew he was wearing one.

"It's not like there would be much to see." You shouldn't be able to sense shrugs, either.

"Are you calling me small!" The words flew out so fully and powerfully that Ed was even surprised. And pained. When he received only a chuckled in response, Ed leaned his head back against the mirror and glared at the closet door. "Dumb . . ass."

"Language, Fullmetal. I think I would have been able to live if you had been changing."

"This..is not…about you..living..and if..I wasn't..stuck without..being able..to get to you..it would..be about..you dying," Ed responded breathlessly, trying to slow his racing heart and sooth his burning chest all while verbally battling it out with the colonel. End conclusion: he really couldn't multi-task well.

Roy poked his head out of the closet, eyebrows raised, as if he just wanted to provoke the younger. "You? Planning to kill me? I'm offended."

"You should be."

Ed squeaked in surprise when Roy flew across the bathroom and pinned him, back flat against the mirror, with the colonel's hands planted inches away from his ears. Their eyes locked, and Ed could help but notice the seductive look his superior was wearing. "C'mon, Edward. You can't be mad at me," Roy purred, flashing the blonde his cat like grin.

"Why the hell not?"

The colonel leaned in closer, causing Ed to growl and press himself to the reflective support. With his lips hovering a few inches away from Ed's, Roy whispered, "And I thought you liked me..."

"Cut the crap, Mustang! I thought..we were on..a time limit."

"We are."

"Then let me go."

"Mm…nah."

"I swear…once I'm better, I will beat your fucking face in."

"Ouch. That hurts."

"Good! Now get off." Roy sighed and peeled himself away, turning around and stalking back to the closet.

"You never let me have any fun."

"'Cause you're the only one having fun."

"I think you're lying."

"Whatever you want to think, Mustang."

Roy began to dig around the closet for something, and the blonde scooted himself back to the edge of the counter top. He yawned loudly, tilting his head up to catch the glow of the large skylight and stretched his muscles. He could vaguely hear the rummaging in the smaller room come to a halt, but only bothered to look that way when the Flame appeared from its depths.

"Hey…Ed?" Roy questioned quietly, standing at the closet's door, where he dropped a pair of black dress shoes.

"Yeah?"

"About…your nightmare…why won't you say anything?"

Ed's breathing hitched a bit and his eyes narrowed, grip on the counter's edges tightening. "Because…because I don't need to."

"Oh, really?" The colonel left his post by the closet and quietly walked over to sit himself down right beside Ed. "Is that why you were screaming?"

"It was _my_ nightmare. Why do you care?"

Roy inhaled and slowly exhaled. "I'm _pretty_ sure I care because I have for years, but I could be wrong."

"How should I know that you're telling the truth, or if it's just another one of your lies?"

If the words stung, Roy showed no sign of it. Using his thumb and index finger, the older male tilted Ed's face up and kissed him; sweet, slow, and deep. The blonde answered urgently, leaning as far into the action as he could without throwing them both off balance. The adolescent trailed a hand from the colonel's forhead, down the side of his face, under his ear and over the back of his neck. Ed would have loved to stay that way, but the dark haired alchemist had other ideas, putting his hand over Ed's and to pulling away. Looking into golden eyes, he whispered, "Does that not say enough?"

"In a way," Ed replied softly, forcing his stare down to his knees. Three. Two. One.

"Who was it?"

"Huh?" Ed looked up from his knees.

"That person who wouldn't give him back."

Ed wrinkled his nose. "What are you, a shrink?"

"I'm just curious. But if you don't start talking soon, we may have to send you to one." It wasn't a joke; the Fullmetal could read it in Roy's eyes.

Ed sighed in defeat, lowering his eyes to the grayish white tile. "To be honest with you…I really don't know. I don't." He paused, sealing his lips tightly for a moment. "I don't know."

"What will I do with you. if you never say what's on your mind. I know you may feel like you have power over _something_, and that can make dealing with this easier. But Ed..." Roy watched silently and the blonde brought his superior's hand into his lap, tracing the bandages soothingly and working his way up. "You'd have so much more power, if you would speak."

No answer. What else could he expect?

"There's something I've missed, isn't there?" Ed stayed silent, fingering the cuff of the colonel's long sleeved shirt. "Ed?" His concentration moved from the cuff to the sleeve, gently running his nails across the creases. He could feel the lump in his throat growing, the burn behind his eyes. "We've missed something that's going on, that you don't want to say." The words weren't a question, but a statement. And before the blonde knew it, two warm arms had wrapped themselves ever so carefully around his shoulders and brought him close to a warm chest. It was hard to think about…far too hard. Reality was a vicious thing, but it seemed to love picking on Ed more than normal standards should have allowed it.

He couldn't be crying…could he?

But he was. Tears, hot and ceaseless, streamed down his cheeks in streams, forming rivers, patterns, an ocean on the bathroom counter. The tears turned into quiet crying, then continued to sobs, which seemed to get all the more loud as time wore on. He had tried so hard to hold them back, so agonizingly hard. But he'd lost it, all thanks to that bastard of a colonel that he cared so much for. As he buried his face into Roy's shoulder and relieved himself of only a tiny portion of the pain he was carrying, he could feel a warm hand run through his still unbraided hair and curl around his back. The older alchemist would keep the world on the other side of that bathroom door if Ed asked him to, even if it was only for a short time; he was certain by the way the Flame whispered into his ear.

"Whatever else is bothering you, Edward…it can't hurt much more than this."

* * *

Ed could have sworn his eyes were twice their normal size when they had first entered Central HQ's ballroom. He had been there maybe once, but it was in between uses and wasn't anything special to see. But now was a different matter entirely. The red velvet carpet was bright and dustless, as was the dark wood of the dance floor. The walls were painted a golden crème, but appeared darker since the lights were dimmed down low and the various candles provided little more than decoration. Several long buffet tables, draped with silk white tablecloths, we set about in a stylish fashion. The thing that immediately stood out was the large glass chandelier, glowing from hundreds of tiny candles placed just so. Evergreen tinsel was draped on the walls, weighted down with thousands of twinkling faerie lights and shiny red berries.

"First time here?" Roy had questioned, stopping the wheelchair to let Ed take in his fill of the sight.

"Uh-huh," the blonde answered, dumbfounded by how much more exquisite it was than he expected. "If the military can…afford something like this..why do they make you guys..wear those ugly ass uniforms?"

The colonel shrugged, resuming his job as wheelchair chauffer and carefully steering clear of the tables and few people that were already there. "Just be thankful that we don't have to wear them here, too, otherwise you would be in one two sizes too big."

"I coulda just transmuted it."

"Not unless you would want to buy me another one."

Ed looked at Roy over his shoulder, eyes narrowed. "So then how come Fuery has one? He's not that much taller than I am."

"Because he ordered his custom, and it took weeks to get here. You're just lucky to have civilian status."

"Psh, whatever."

Those had been the last whole words Roy could get out of the blonde. As soon as the other three hundred of so officers arrived, it was only a matter of time before Ed got shy, or sleepy, or pissed, Roy couldn't tell. Whatever the cause, the blonde was dead quiet, and the only ones to get a word out of him were the Flame and the rest of his team. Havoc even managed to get the blonde to venture around on his new walker, at which the Fullmetal finally looked alive when he was able to go where he pleased (he would have thrown a fit if he'd known what he looked like in that over sized wheelchair). In the mean time, while Ed was off 'expressing' himself, Roy managed in a few conversations with the higher up military personnel. The last one attempted was interrupted by no other than the colonel's blonde chibi, who had had his fill of walking about with what he called an "old people contraption for people like the colonel", and silently demanded to have his wheelchair back.

Roy excused himself as politely as possible and settled Edward back into his wheelchair, and he immediately zonked out for a little over half an hour. Mustang managed to enjoy that moment of peace, with a few glasses of wine here and there to settle his nerves. The last person that he wanted to meet was here, he knew, and he also knew that there would be no avoiding him. His main worry wasn't himself, but how Ed would act in front of Hakuro. The Fuhrer may not have been the sharpest tack in the box, but he certainly would be able to see a slip up.

The colonel assumed the gray-haired man had caught sight of him first, for when Roy looked into the crowd, it was Hakuro's eyes he instantly met. The Flame quickly looked away, leaning down and pretending to fuss with the brakes of the wheelchair. But, nonetheless, overly confident footsteps came towards him. Damn. He begrudgingly rose, smoothing out his tuxedo jacket and wiping his face clean of all emotion.

"So…the Flame Colonel has made it." Roy knew the voice as soon as he turned around, right hand in a respectful salute. Hakuro smiled and nodded, sharp eyes watching his movements with approval. "At ease, Mustang." Ed woke and blinked blearily, shaking his head to rid himself of the half-awake dizziness.

"I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience to you, Sir, but Fullmetal has improved greatly this last week. I called ahead to your secretary to let her know that Edward Elric and I would be attending after all."

The older man nodded. "Yes, yes. I was notified of the change. And how is the Fullmetal Alchemist?" Hakuro questioned, leaning down a bit to get a better view of Ed's face. The teenager regarded him with an annoyed look before pointedly looking to the ground.

"He's much better off, Sir, though don't take his behavior as an insult. He's currently taking a large dose of medication, and he's still very off."

"That's quite understandable." The Fuhrer straightened, casting a look at Mustang. "How much longer do you think he'll be out? We can't afford to keep him out for another few months. He'll be needed."

Roy's eyes narrowed at the last sentence, and Ed gripped his knee. "He's improving fast, but this is at his own pace, Sir. The soonest that he'd be well is a couple months. But he may not be 100 percent for quite a few more, maybe even up to a year."

"You'd better hope that's not the case, and that it's _soon_, Mustang. We have several other officers becoming impatient with the matter."

_'And just what the hell do you think you're going to do, Hakuro? He's a valuable lap dog. You'd never get rid of him; it would be a waste, and _you_ of all people know so.' _Roy was seething inside, but calmly held back the urge to say his thoughts out loud. "Of course, Sir. We all do."

The gray haired man nodded, smile sickly sweet. "I like what I'm hearing. I'll be seeing you soon, Colonel Mustang." And with a nod he parted, most likely to piss someone else off. Ed watched the retreating officer with disgust, slowly looking up to Roy.

"When are you going to knock that jerk's ass out of office? I'm sick of him already."

Roy responded with an amused expression. "Hopefully soon. Keep it down, though. There is something called treason."

Ed gave a soft chuckle. "Pedophilia, fraternization, treason. What else can they charge you for?"

"Taking advantage of a minor." It took the Fullmetal a few minutes to realize what the older man was thinking, and he settled back into the wheelchair; an even deeper blush gracing his features than before.

After the initial excitement and greetings, the lights dimmed and the music began to pick up a slow, quiet rhythm. Couples, hand in hand, made their ways to the already crowded dance floor and easily picked up the beat. Mustang had received a letter a few weeks prior to the event, notifying him that he should bring a date, but he had politely declined with the excuse of having to care for his sick subordinate. He never would have guess that Ed would be well enough to even come, but there was an even bigger, unspoken excuse now.

Little did the higher ups around him know, but he had, in fact, brought his date. But what they weren't aware of wouldn't hurt anyone.

Roy was leaning against the back of the wheelchair, elbows propped on back bar and an unnoticed hand resting on Edward's human shoulder. The blonde had been watching those who were dancing with slight interest, and the Flame could have sworn he saw a look of amusement in those golden eyes when Riza had accepted a dance from Jean. But there was also something different in them as Edward looked to his superior, then back to the dance floor, following the movements intently. Roy raised a curious eyebrow, opening his mouth to ask the teenager what he wanted, but then it clicked.

"Edward?"

The blonde looked up to him expectantly, curious and maybe a little hopeful.

"Just so you know, I would ask for this dance if I were able."

Ed looked disappointed, but only for a moment. It quickly turned into a small smile, and Ed looked back out to the dance floor. "Thank you," he said softly. "But I can't dance worth a damn anyway." Havoc and Hawkeye swayed about the floor, passing by Hughes and Gracia with little Elysia standing on her father's feet and doing her best to move along with her amused parents.

The colonel smiled and leaned his elbows on the wheelchair's handles, head cocked to the side thoughtfully. "Perhaps I'll just have to teach you sometime."

Ed snorted, but smiled nonetheless. "Dance lessons."

Roy fought the urge to set his chin on top of Edward's head, aware of a strong gaze burning into the back of his skull. Most likely Hakuro, waiting for the tiniest little bit of a slip, and one the Flame would never give him.


	11. Chapter 11: Happy Holidays

**A/N:** Merry Christmas to all. Thank you for sticking around. You get to take a little sneak peak into Edward's head, we'll call it a bonus. Wink.

**Special thanks to:** Wateria88, foreverforgotten5, KobrahEdo, PutThatAway, DanielDeathnote, VermillionValentine, Hawk Cold Eyes, SarahMaxine, DunTouchIt, Fullmetal Angyl (yes, I do love your name XD), TehDonutSecks, , xXxLovelessxXx, Ining-Batong, Mama Muse, Psycho Anime, Suzuku90, the troublesome twins (nice to hear from you again!), Animartchic, and xXArykaLachlanXx. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 11:** Happy Holidays

_"How long has it been now, Al? I can't really remember the last time I talked to you, and I'm sorry, but so much has been happening lately. Mustang says he's got some stuff that needs to get done at the office (Hawkeye has done an impressive job of keeping it all in check, as always), so that's where I am now, and I feel like I'm about to _pass out_ I'm so exhausted. It's all right, though. I miss being around here, as much as I hate to admit it._

_It still worries me, if you'd accept what Colonel Bastard and I are now. I know that you respect most of my decisions, but acceptance is a whole different matter. It's just…I'm so relieved that he's here. Right after you were gone, I think I felt like I was dying, slowly, piece by piece. Even then he couldn't do anything about how I felt, because we still got on each other's nerves and I ignored him like a child. But I guess that supposed hate just kind of…slowly disappeared. When he's around me, I feel like a mountain is lifted off my shoulders and I can finally breathe again. The pain I'm feeling subsides, if just for the moment, and I don't hurt anymore. It's strange that he and I, the ones who caused most of the worst fights and arguments at HQ, would end up like this._

_Sometimes, Al, I think I know who did this to you. And sometimes I'm more than positive. But then I just go blank. Like someone reaches into my head and steals it all away and leaves me with nothing. And I don't know what to do. Am I going crazy?_

* * *

_SLAM._

Roy Mustang was stuck at Central HQ. With Edward Elric. And everyone else. Who, without Hawkeye around, were making as much noise as possible.

Roy had attempted to quiet them. He really had tried. The moment they woke Edward up, things would most likely go from bad to worse, and he'd already had enough 'worse' for one day.

As much as he cared about his team, they were _severely_ bothering him.

He didn't feel like dealing with more Ed.

_SLAM._

Still, it was pretty tempting for the colonel himself to get Edward all riled up. Some things would never change, exhibited by their quite eventful morning.

Even knowing Edward could once again pack a good punch hadn't stopped Roy from striking the teenager's final nerve that morning, when _It_ happened. The wake up phone call from Hughes wasn't meant to piss Edward off. Hell, it wasn't _meant_ for Ed period. But it had traveled from the phone in Roy's hand to, not so quietly, Ed's ear. After the wake-up-call-gone-wrong incident had been dealt with, Ed hadn't minded the fact that he should have been sleeping that morning (it did give him some time out of the house), so he had followed the colonel to HQ in crutch mode. There had been little debate between the two alchemists if Ed should risk his health by coming or not. He needed fresh air, to be out of the house, and Ed needed to get up and get moving.

So when Roy and the younger alchemist showed up at the office at noon, the young blonde looking like he was ready to tear down a wall and Roy as if he needed the walker more than Ed, no one said a word.

The message was sent.

_SLAM._

When the pair arrived, Roy had purposely failed to give his team and Ed a full explanation on what he was doing at central HQ, especially when there seemed to be no point in him being there. His excuse was that he needed to turn in his paperwork, though his unit knew that it was a lie (Hawkeye picked it up every Friday like clockwork), the assumption was quickly killed by (scary) Hawkeye, with (shiny) pistol in hand. She didn't want to hear a word of their nonsense while she had the perfect chance to collect his homework and dump more of it on the poor colonel. As soon as the office was at peace once more, with the fellow officers each buried deep within their own work, Hawkeye stole herself some time away. She quietly left the office, and Roy knew she was itching to gather the papers that he would be signing and looking over for the next few days.

Judging by the half hour it had already taken her, the amount of it was not so little.

He hoped she'd hurry.

Curled up on the couch with one of Roy's extra military uniform jackets as a blanket, Ed was still either doing a rather good impression of being asleep or he had crashed out like a train wreck. Knowing him, either could happen, and there was no easy way to find out which one it was. And the older man rather valued his life and didn't want to risk it for the sake of his own curiosity.

_SLAM._

Roy's head hit the desk for the fourth time, causing Havoc to look up with a raised eyebrow.

Although Edward had willingly come to the headquarters, he had thrown the most difficult temper tantrum halfway there. He was tired, his legs hurt, his chest hurt, Roy should carry him, he shouldn't be out in this weather, the slush was too wet, and on and on until the colonel felt like his skull was going to split. Why, oh why, did he put up with it?

_SLAM._

And why was it taking so long for the lieutenant to show up? Roy had waited for much longer periods of time before, but this was something that needed to be finished as soon as possible. Especially while the offices and hallways were quiet as soldiers and secretaries rushed to get as much completed before their hours were over. The fewer people that were around during their conversation the better. An even bigger plus was that Edward would be asleep; it wouldn't be wise for them to let him listen. And knowing the teenager, Ed wouldn't let himself rest until he had figured out what had been talked about.

But if Hughes didn't hurry up his god damn research, the Flame was going to have no choice but to cut his losses and leave for the night.

Frustrating frustrating frustrating. He lifted his head, again, and let it fall.

_Thud_

as Havoc slipped a stack of finished papers underneath his superior's head, muffling the blow and noise that ricocheted through Roy's brain.

"Thank you," the dark haired man mumbled, not bothering to lift his head.

"No problem, Chief. Just don't hurt yourself too badly," Havoc answered, retaking his seat with a comical grin.

Roy lifted his head, eyes half mast and staring at the forms below him._ 'I'll have to get Hughes to take them.' _The colonel's eyes narrowed at the thought of his friend's name, and he sat in silence. "Dammit," Roy muttered to himself, quieting for another bout of silence. After a minute or so, he carefully reached up and pushed Havoc's small stack of work to the left. The Flame stared at the papers for a brief moment, averted his gaze to the oh-so-inviting bare wood, and began to drop his head to its mercy.

A strong hand grabbed a fistful of black hair, holding firmly, so Mustang didn't even bother to muster the energy to jerk away. "Now Roy, do you know how many brain cells that kills?" Maes chuckled, not letting Roy's head go. Damn, the colonel could almost feel each hair being pulled out one at a time. Even though it _did_ hurt, the man couldn't remember the last time he'd bitched at someone for pulling his hair, and he wasn't about to now.

"And do you know how many headaches I'll get from you ripping my hair out?" The colonel whimpered, hissing as Hughes pulled his head back further, giving Roy a nice view of the upside-down lieutenant. The other man grinned while Roy glared.

"You always have headaches anyway. I don't think a bald spot or two would kill you."

"No, but it would kill my ego," Roy gritted. "Now please let go of my head, Hughes."

"Alright, alright. Geesh." The glasses clad man released Mustang's black hair, stepping back as if to avoid any immediate threat. The Flame simply rubbed the back of his head, wincing ever so slightly.

"There are better ways to get my attention, you know," he griped, turning around to look at his friend with narrowed eyes. Hughes simply shrugged and grinned.

"I agree. They just take too much energy. This was a lot faster."

Roy snorted and stopped rubbing his sore head and neck, pushing his chair back and standing. He rolled his head from side to side, satisfied when he heard two cracks that told him all was right in the world.

Maes shook his head in mock sadness. "Someday, my dear friend, you will paralyze yourself, and your neck will swell and the extraordinarily handsome man we have all come to know and love will be no more."

"Are we or are we not on official business?" Roy gritted, ignoring the comments his friend made. Maes's face immediately lit up at the question, and he grabbed another fist full of raven hair. The Flame Alchemist clenched his teeth against the pain, having no option but to follow as the other man began walking towards the door.

"Oooh-so-glad you asked," the lieutenant cooed, whipping out The Album and waving it in the air. The other officers flinched, but stayed smart and buried in text, pretending to not notice a thing. It was a defense mechanism; their subconscious mind told them to not look at Hughes, and in return, Hughes would not see them. They had learned long ago that he normally only preyed on those that moved. Not that they were any sort of danger this particular time; photos were the least of the concern for both of the military men as they stumbled out into the hallway, Maes making sure to be very excited (and loud) as he babbled to Roy all about his daughter's first pony ride.

Roy could almost taste the innuendo Hughes was oozing in his wake.

Once they were out of earshot, Colonel Mustang balked. "Maes, if you don't let go of my fucking hair right now, I _will_ barbecue that album." Hughes let go right as Roy's hand went gingerly to his scalp. The colonel stumbled a bit as he stood up straight, eyes pinched and he rubbed the spots where his hair would temporarily no longer exist. He snorted. "And really, Maes? Pony rides?"

The officer shrugged nonchalantly, leaning against the hallway wall. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

The alchemist sighed. "Of course not."

"In any case, Ponyboy, you wanted to speak to me about Alphonse's file?"

Mustang nodded, ignoring the name calling. "Have you gotten ahold of anything new?" Roy asked quietly, eyes shifting about to confirm that they were alone.

"We've been working as hard as possible, but there's nothing important enough to know about," Hughes answered, face as hard as stone. Roy's sigh gave hint to his disappointment, dark eyes closing.

"I see."

Maes nodded, his voice dulling to a very light whisper. "We've been studying the photos, and a couple of officers have gone out and about to conduct another full sweep of Risembool. There's something missing in this case, we know that for sure. And we aren't just talking about his murderer."

Roy's dark eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Like a missing link?"

The lieutenant raised his eyes to meet the colonel's, giving only a slight nod. "Exactly. We've even swept the surrounding cities and are in the process of some that the Elrics may have made enemies in, but nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"So where are you planning to go from here? It seems like you're chasing something that can't be caught." But echoing footsteps up the hallway hushed their already soft voices to silence. Roy's narrow eyes passed down the bare hall, waiting waiting waiting, and-there they were. He almost sighed in relief as they came closer into his line of vision. She was only a secretary carrying papers and file folders, and politely ignored them while she was turning into another hall around ten feet away. What he and Hughes were doing…swapping information like this, it couldn't have been right. Roy was a colonel after all, who should have been caring for his sick subordinate and catching up on work; to the high officials, he had no business peeking around in this particular murder case. If he was caught, who knows what he could be accused of; even treason, perhaps, if they suspected that he was giving hints to the killer.

When enough people want to push you down to nothing, anything was possible.

Hughes was the first one to pick the conversation back up into where it had been stopped. "I'm not sure. I'm doing everything in my power to make sure that Al's murder doesn't go cold. Hakuro hasn't given a shit about the case from the beginning. To him, Al is dead, and that's a hell of a lot less to worry about than the fact that Central's star alchemist is almost down for the count. With all the work and weeks we've piled into this so quickly, I wouldn't be surprised if Anderson decided to confirm it cold and move on. In my opinion, that's the last thing Ed needs right now."

Roy's eyes briefly went cold, and he nodded lightly. "I agree."

Hughes stepped forward, just a bit closer, so that his mouth was almost touching Roy's ear. "You might want to talk to Edward, by the way. With him as distant as he is, there's no telling what he may know. Things he's aware of, but doesn't want to tell us. Anything would be a help right now."

"I'll give it a shot, Maes, but I don't know about him. I just don't know."

"If he can come up with anything, anything at all, it might just be your ticket in on this. We won't have to huddle in the hallway like two kids cutting class."

"Damn Maes, you would think that them giving you this temporary head of investigations position, whatever you say goes."

"Temporary is definitely the key word here."

Roy sighed. "I know."

Approaching footsteps brought the conversation to a halt once again. Deep voices as well, two men sounding of high authority conversing over matters that Roy couldn't overhear. The two friends' eyes met and they nodded, each turning on their heels, Roy disappearing back into the office and Hughes drifting casually down the hall.

If the alchemist hadn't been so distracted with what he had just learned, he would have heard the intent whispering voices and frantic rustling of papers and books.

And, if he had looked, Roy would have had to stop and stare back at his oddly quiet unit. He was about to sit down next to Ed when-

"False alarm, it's just the colonel," said Fuery, letting his book fall back to the table with a dull thud. Resounding and identical thuds followed, and the relieved sigh the rest of his subordinates gave, all at once, would have been funny to Roy (if half of his self hadn't still been in that hallway). A quiet chatter rose from the group of relaxed officers, and the cigarette that Jean had made disappear in a snap reappeared just as quickly. Though it was unlit, the Flame Colonel could still sense Fuery's and Falman's disapproval floating in the air.

"And who would I have been?" He asked blankly, his tired brain miffed by their behavior.

"Hawkeye," Breda sniffed, shutting the (upside down) book and shoving it to the side, "Afraid she'd come back to shoot our asses."

Roy gave all of them a flat look, thoughts muddled by his sudden exhaustion. "I'm glad that my authority means so much to you."

"Us too, Chief," Havoc replied, giving Roy a grin as his ditched his book as well.

Roy shook his head and continued across the office, intent on somehow waking up Edward without causing damage to himself or anything inside the office. He settled himself beside the blonde boy's head, watching as his chest rose and fell. Every so often, the muscles would seize, as if he couldn't breathe, but then Ed would start right back up again, steadily breathing away the minutes.

The Flame had already promised himself to not tell Edward about the possibility of Alphonse's case going cold. For one, he couldn't stand seeing the blonde upset and in a ragged hurry to get out of Roy's house and try to head the investigation himself. And the young alchemist didn't need another shock to his system. News like that just wouldn't be healthy to throw it on such a sick person. Ed was young, yes, but like the doctor had given his warning. Even someone at his age could only bounce back so many times.

Roy moved his gaze all over the companion sleeping soundly beside him. Ed's skin tone had definitely changed throughout the long weeks with the teenager indoors, instead of out and about on the country side. The colonel dared himself to reach out, pushing the ever lengthening bangs out of the boy's face and letting his fingers wander across a smooth jaw. As if to respond to the gentle touches, Edward clenched and unclenched his teeth, tossing his head to the side. He drew his hand across Ed's chin, resting his finger on the blonde's lips and having to smile at the fact that if Ed had been awake, his finger would no doubt have been bitten.

He ran his fingers through long honey colored bangs, feeling as if silk itself was sliding along his skin. He repeated the calming gesture over and over again until colorful eyes opened and met his.

"Morning sunshine."

Ed's eyes narrowed as he lifted his head from beside Roy's leg. He propped himself up on an elbow. "Last time you said that you ended up with a bruise."

"I'm aware."

The teenager made a face that clearly told Roy he was an annoyance. "What do you want?"

The colonel stretched his arms into the air, and with a sigh, rolled his shoulders a time or two. He nodded towards the door, "We need to get ready to leave."

The young alchemist yawned obnoxiously and let his flesh arm fall over his face. He lay that way for several seconds, before taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling an, "I'm tired."

"Edward, get up," Roy pressed, laying a hand on the sleepy teen's shoulder and giving him a little shake. One golden eye opened and leered at the colonel, who should have known better than to rewake him. The older man locked gazes, firmly unceasing, until Ed grumbled something profound and proceeded to curl up in a ball to avoid movement. Though carrying home over two hundred something pounds of automail wasn't a pleasant thought, if Roy would later look back on the situation, it may have occurred to him to just drag Ed. Not much was worth a moody Edward. Roy's eyebrows dipped down into a frown, and he leaned over to grasp the long blonde braid and gave it a tug. "Ed. Wake up."

"Nnmm..." The teenager mumbled, swatting an offended hand in the older man's direction for a few moments. Roy laid a firm hand on the boy's shoulder to prevent further slapping, giving Ed another shake.

"Get up."

…..Roy sighed and lifted the back of Ed's shirt, slipping his hand up the back of the material, before laying it flat against the blonde's warm skin. The Flame could feel the muscles in Ed's back jump and tense. The automail clad boy hissed at the chill and looked up blearily, molten eyes at half mast and looking irritated. Roy quickly removed his hand as the blonde gritted his teeth. "Get offa me."

"Time to go." Roy swiped the boy's shaggy bangs out of his face and flicked the side of his head. "Ed."

"Not now, old man," the blonde teenager grumbled, burying his face into the cushions to get away. Pathetic attempt on his part.

Said 'old man's' eyebrow gave a warning tick. "We're leaving."

Ed partially turned his face towards Roy's, golden eyes ablaze with annoyance and sleepiness. His bangs veiled the molten hot look, making Edward not seem as scary, but the words, "I said, NOT. NOW," were enough to make up for it.

"Edward." No reaction. "Ed." None. "Short stuff! Get your ass _off the couch!_"

Ed's head whipped around in record time as he threw a predictably missed punch inches from his superior's face, howling, "Who the hell are you calling so small that he got stuck in between the couch cushions and if he doesn't get himself out then no one will be able to find him?"

Roy leaned in close to the teenager, voice low and eyes boring into Edward's. "A: I never said that. B: We're leaving."

"Shut _up!_" Ed screeched, steel fist barely missing the face of his superior for the second time, which was quickly caught and drug into Roy's firm grip. The struggle to get free only lasted a moment, at which the Fullmetal realized he was still weak and stopped his fight. They were like that for a moment, Ed struggling for sitting balance and panting while Roy watched in silence. "I'll catch up later," Ed huffed, glaring at the colonel with those piercing golden eyes.

Ed had never remembered seeing Roy's lone eyebrow shoot up so fast. "How will you get home?"

"I'll walk."

"_You _will _walk?_" Roy replied incredulously, the eyebrow climbing even higher. "Alone."

Ed nodded, mirroring the colonel's current empty expression. "Yup."

"I doubt you even know the way."

"It's not that hard to find your house, ya know," Ed countered heatedly, making an obvious point. There were many people to ask (if they were willing or not) where the Mustang residence was.

Roy sighed and rubbed a gloved hand over his temple, contemplating if he had enough energy to deal with Ed or not. It was steadily working its way towards 'not'. "Well, Edward. It's nice to know that you are as cocky as ever."

"_I'm_ the cocky one? Look who's talking, you arrogant bastard."

"Some needs their medi-ca-tion."

"At least I'm not so old that I need to be on fifty different ones at the same time, you pedophile!"

Roy sent a dark, level gaze Edward's way. "Quit being difficult."

"I'm not being difficult!"

"Then what are you being?"

Edward huffed at the question and glowered, his jaw clenched tightly. "Did you already know that I _hate_ you?" Edward spat, barely bothering to take his teeth apart to answer.

The Flame dropped his eyes to half mast and stared. Seconds later, his retort might as well have smacked Ed in the face. "Thank you for clarifying that, Fullmetal. Have a fun time walking home," Roy snorted as he passed through the door, long black coat drifting after him without a sound.

Edward crossed his arms and legs, storm clouds gathering over his head as he glared at the door. The four officers looked up at Ed from their books, waiting for a temper tantrum of the extreme or for the teenager to curl back up.

"He's not leaving," Edward said matter of factly, not needing to look away from the door to know that he was being intently studied.

Not a moment later did Hawkeye renter the office, coffee in one hand and files in the other, a very perplexed look on her faced as she focused on a certain blonde alchemist. She paused a moment, looked back into hallway, then back to the teenager. She cocked her head to the side, nodding towards the doorway. "Edward, why is the colonel leaving without you?"

"That fucker."

Whereas it would have taken the weakened alchemist awhile to reach the hallway with his wobbly walk, he made it there in 10 seconds flat without a limp to be seen. At that pace, the brakes Ed had to throw on to avoid running right into Roy's chest almost caused him to fall.

"Ah, Edward. Nice of you to join me," Roy greeted, files in hand, all smiles and not another living being in the hallway to be seen. No wonder he had gotten away with waiting; no secretaries to sneak a flirt with or a general to snap away the Flame's attention. Edward's mouth gaped, and he raised a shaking flesh hand. The other alchemist went on with his pleased look, not at all intimidated by the young man.

"Why'd she say you were leaving me?" Ed exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at his superior. The dark haired man shrugged, that damned smirk in place, raising his hands up.

"Ed, she's Hawkeye. If you haven't noticed by now, she can make anyone think or do anything."

The blonde sighed helplessly, leaning against the hallway wall and massaging his forehead. "Mustang."

Said alchemist lowered his hands, smirk lightened. "Hm?"

There was a short silence before Ed sighed again, dropped his hand, and gave the older man a dull look. "Let's go."

* * *

The walk back to the Mustang residence was a short one, and it was just Roy's dumb luck that he was so close. So naturally, the colonel had taken to walking for his daily way of travel. Not only was it good for him to get out every day, but Ed was becoming increasingly more energetic as the days passed. Roy had mentally estimated how many days it might take for Ed to recover from this one, and the possibility of the colonel getting a full night's sleep for a few days kept looking better and better. So a-walking they would go.

It had started out innocently enough, with Edward scooting along with his walker and Roy carrying the files Riza had been so kind as to dump on him. It didn't take more than five minutes before the teenager ditched his walker in favor of the colonel's arm. While one arm was busy with a weight full of Edward, Roy tucked the folded up walker under his file folder hand and dedicated his attention to multi-tasking. The colonel hadn't been paying attention to Edward or anything around him, while the blonde did the opposite in a fashion of over-eagerness. Especially the restaurants. And then it happened. Ed had been gazing almost curiously at each little outdoor cafe, golden eyes taking in detail after detail before looking expectantly at his boyfriend. "Do you ever go out to eat?"

Roy cocked his head to the side, staring straight ahead as they passed the restaurants. "Mm. I used to go out a lot. Now, not so much anymore. I don't have the time to treat myself."

Ed grinned as they rounded a corner, switching his wobbly gait to more of a limping one. "Then you should take me out sometime," he replied, placing a hand on a bench, for balance, as he walked by. Roy chuckled lightly, placing a hand atop the downy blonde hair.

"You're very forward with what you want, aren't you?" He ruffled Edward's hair gently before pulling away.

The teenager's normally pale skin flushed a light pink and he averted his gaze, eyes downcast. "I…didn't mean it like that," he murmured, slightly embarrassed, "I just..." The blonde sighed and raised his head, not meeting Roy's obsidian eyes. Though, if he had, he would have seen the twinkle in them, and the small smile on the older man's face. So, with the role of easing Ed's current state of emotion on his shoulders, the Flame cleared his throat and tapped underneath Ed's chin. His mini alchemist slowly looked up, cheeks still outlined in a blush.

"You want to go out on a date, then?"

The Fullmetal let out a held breath, turning it into a long sigh and rubbed the back of his neck. "I was just saying…you used to take those women out all the time, and…well, I..."

"You want to be more of a couple?" Edward turned his head to the side and gave a small nod. At the tiny positive gesture, the dark haired alchemist made an amused noise at the back of his throat. "Ah, I see. A bit jealous?"

"Shut up." They passed the entrance gates to Mustang's neighborhood, boots trailing over the fine powder that hadn't yet been dissolved by thousands of footsteps. And then, suddenly, Ed was holding onto another bench, breathing as if he'd just run a marathon. He held up a white gloved hand to signal his superior to stop, attempting to calm his racing heart at the same time. "Hold up a second," he commanded breathlessly, sitting down on the wooden structure with a sigh.

Roy gave him a worried glance, holding up the light metal structure in some sort of an offering. "Want the walker?" He questioned, shooting a look to the teenager. Ed waved him off, managing a small grin through his obvious pain.

"Nah. I just need a minute." The blonde put the same hand to his chest, laying it there as if to comfort himself. The older alchemist sighed, setting down the stilt-like structures with a shrug.

"If you insist…" Roy leaned against the bench, sticking his free hand in a pocket. He watched Edward, noting how he shivered in little compulsive bursts, the way his throat got tighter when he was trying to hold back a cough. And most of all, the eyes. They were cloudy. "Edward, why don't I just carry you?"

The blonde alchemist shook his head defiantly. "No," he wheezed.

"Ed, it's cold."

"I'm," _cough_, "fine." _Cough, wheez, gasp._

"…you're not sounding fine at the moment."

"Fine! Damn."

Ed lifted his other hand into the air for balance, slowly letting go of the colonel before both hands were hovering lightly and the steps were purely his. Roy found himself resisting the urge to pat the smaller alchemist on the head. Not only would it upset his careful balance, but possibly even give Ed a reason to think he was being treated like a dog.

So instead of giving in to his urge, Roy ran a hand through his own hair and came up with, "I'm guessing that you're not working so hard, to get back to normal, just to come back to the military."

Edward's golden eyes became filled with that saddened expression, and he stopped a moment to regain his balance on the automail leg. His gaze stayed far away, even as they began walking again, and the dark haired man respected him by doing the same. "…isn't it obvious."

Roy's own stare softened, and he turned away from Edward to straight ahead. "Only to you."

Ed snorted indignantly, eyes flashing something fierce and new. "You trying to bring up what Hakuro is thinking?" Roy gave a nod, and Ed's eye twitched. "Then apologize to that jerk and his God complex next time you see him. Tell him I'm now playing by my own rules, and unless he wants me become more of a liability than an asset, he'll keep his nose out of my business."

"So you feel that you're done being a State Alchemist."

"More or less.

"Oh really then? What about leads for the Philosopher's Stone?"

Edward's eyes darkened. "Al and I started that journey, together, for two very important reasons. To get him his body back, and to restore my arm and leg. Between him and me, the rest of the world more or less meant _nothing_. We _lived_ for each other. I don't think I could set out again, knowing that he won't be there with me. And besides, the making of that stone cost so many people their lives. Even if it was for Al…he was such a selfless person; others came before he did. He would despise so many being sacrificed just to bring him back. Even though it's…it's hard. Being here without him. So fucking hard. But then…I think of you, or the others, or Teacher, and I don't know if I could die like this, right now." He paused briefly in his thoughts, but for once, the feet kept moving. "Because, even if I did lose something, I've gained something as well."

Mustang knit his eyebrows together in wonder, looking over at his companion. "What did you gain?"

Ed gave Roy a startled look, one that suggested Roy had grown another head. He sighed wearily and kept walking, before quietly replying, "You, dummy."

Roy smiled, an almost light feeling barging into his chest. He hadn't expected the blonde to be so out with how he felt, and the colonel felt honored to be in such a high place in Edward Elric's eyes. Though they were still a far distance away from love…sometimes it saddened him, how he knew that, most likely, something in the future would happen that would tear them apart. Whether it was the military or something darker, the Flame couldn't know.

His bleak thoughts about the military suddenly sparked something in the older man's mind, and he turned to the other alchemist.

"Hey Edward?" Roy asked quietly, adjusting his hold on the files as if what he was about to ask wasn't big at all.

The teenager, golden eyes shining in the setting sun, looked up with that expectant expression of his. "Yeah?"

"You never wanted to be in the military in the first place. Correct?"

Ed stiffened at the question, the older man could tell by the way he hesitated and the new heaviness to his footsteps. "…yeah."

The dark haired alchemist looked over slowly, sadly, equally deep eyes fixated towards his solemn subordinate. "So…why are you still here?"

"I want to help catch my brother's murderer. I want that fucker _dead_ and six feet under. I don't care what happens to me in the process, but if I'm still here afterwards…" Ed paused, stretching the moment out as he looked at the setting sun. Roy noted how the orange rays brought out all of the gold that was Edward Elric; his hair, his eyes, his skin, all glowing. As if he were thinking the same thing, Ed held out his flesh hand and examined it with furrowed eyebrows. "I think it would be best if I let my contract expire. There would be nothing here for me anymore." He cocked his head to side and sighed, lowering his flesh hand and holding up the other one. The sun reflected off of it. Shiny, cold, unreal; not golden, or warm, or soft. "Sometimes I wish I had left when I had the chance."

Roy reached out and grasped Ed's wrist, lowering the boy's hand and causing Ed to look him straight in the eye. The colonel's jaw worked silently for a moment as he gathered the question he'd wanted to know for a long time. "Why didn't you?"

The Fullmetal's brow dipped even deeper as he pulled his wrist back, stumbling a bit. He took a deep breath, unlocking his gaze from the older man to look back at the sunset. "You have to understand," he said softly, taking several steps forward and looking over his shoulder. "Roy . . . there are some things…that just don't matter anymore. That's one of them."

"You're wrong." Ed started at this statement, looking at Roy with the 'Oh-really-you-can-read-my-mind-now' face the colonel had come to know. Mustang ignored the expression and shook his head. "You wanted to be involved then, for whatever reason, for whatever it was. It happened. It still matters."

Ed smiled sadly. Another deep breath and he was walking again. "No. No, it doesn't."

Roy let the teen walk further ahead before sauntering after him._ 'So we were wrong…he didn't stay for his arm and leg.' _He studied the way the teenager moved, the lightness of his footsteps as he barely picked up his feet, the lilt in his gait as he drug the automail along. The damn stuff was so heavy; Roy didn't understand how someone so sick was able to walk with it. It took determination. A reason to keep going. Knowledge of something that needed drastic attention. Something that needed Edward to be better _now_, and something Edward knew. And wasn't telling. Roy was fully aware, Maes was fully aware, that so much was unspoken. The raven-haired man found himself wishing that when Ed made the 'you-can-read-my-mind' face, that he really could. He would give anything for just a few glimpses.

"So Hawkeye's coming over in a couple days, huh?"

Roy snapped out of his dazed state, blinking a few times to allow Ed's questions to register. "Mm."

"Can I sleep through it?"

Roy sighed. "If you honestly feel the need to. But keep in mind that if she doesn't see you up and well, you may be rudely awakened by a barrel to your forehead."

"…right."

They continued on in silence for the rest of the block, arms brushing and body heat shared, just enjoying the quiet time. Roy wasn't one to fill the silence, and instead preferred to thrive in it, relax in it, and wait for natural causes to shatter it. Which is why Edward was so surprised when he heard the Flame's deep voice over the wind.

"In a couple months, you'll be out of my care and on your own again."

Ed regarded Roy out of the corner of his eye. "If all goes well."

Step step step. "This…_we_ are going to be harder to hide." Ed's haunting gold eyes looked upwards, towards his superior, _his_ colonel.

"I know."

Roy paused, cocking his head to the side so he could get a full view of Ed's face. "We may or may not be able to hold on to what we have. I don't want anything to be a surprise to you."

The blonde quirked an eyebrow, tugging on the older man's jacket sleeve and they continued to walk. They rounded the last corner slowly, Edward's hand drifting ever so slightly away from the colonel's arm as he fought to balance himself. Roy's house loomed at the end of the walk, white bricked exterior changing colors with the faint sunset. The snow was powdery and light underneath their boots, delicate imprints forming in the snow as the two alchemists trekked side by side. They hadn't even gotten halfway down the block when, "You keep fretting about what might happen."

Roy fixed his subordinate into a questioning gaze, whispering, "So?"

"_So,_ don't worry about it so much. There will come a time when we can both worry ourselves to hell and back, but not here. Live in the now," Ed replied, kicking a pebble and sending it flying to the left.

Roy sighed and ruffled downy golden hair as they came to a stop in front of his house. The street was empty, the sky turning dark as night settled in, but a pair of alchemists lingered outside for awhile longer and took in the hushed quiet. Ed's eyes fell to the snow and he dragged a booted toe through it, leaning against his superior as said man wrapped an arm around his shoulders. The thought of a warm house and bed was comforting, but neither wanted to give up that moment. Not just yet, with the sun as its peak, changing the snow to infinite shades of oranges and reds and yellows.

Ed looked up to his superior, golden eyes still both startlingly beautiful and sad. "Roy?"

"Hm?"

The blonde seemed to hesitate a moment, before leaning into the older man's embrace "…thank you." There was a swift brush of lips in the wake of Ed's words, a brief show of affection that they dared to show in public. Not that it truly mattered, since it was a little later and most would be at home with their families and such. The only living being that Roy could see, other than Ed, was Daisy, the black and white mutt next door. Not that she accounted for much more than a nuisance.

"What are you thanking me for?"

"Hm. What do you think?"

"I know what I could do to get a _real_ thank you..." The man purred, slipping a finger down Ed's shirt collar and tugging ever so lightly. Ed's cheeks immediately flushed a soft pink, and his automail hand whipped around to catch Roy's wrist in a vice like grip.

"Shut _up_ you _perv_," he growled menacingly, squeezing the colonel's wrist to make him let go, "Will you _ever_ grow up?"

"I'm not the one who needs to _grow_ up, Ed."

"DAMN YOU! I AM _NOT_ SOME FUCKING _MIDGET!_" Ed hollered, stamping his foot and sending a cloud of snowing flying. With the blonde's temper, Roy was surprised Ed's body wasn't melting the snow in a ten foot radius around the teen's body.

Roy attempted an "I'm sorry" hug, just for appearances, face set and arms ready to swallow alchemists who, though small, weren't tinier than a snowflake. But Edward wiggled away from the offered affection, tripping up the stairs and nearly falling flat on his face in the process of proving his independence. Roy sighed and followed wearily, yawning as he approached the shivering blonde. Edward was waiting at the locked door, lips pursed and eyes narrow, and looking as if he'd had enough of this man for today, thank you very much.

In a brief moment of effort to not have his significant other pissed with him for the rest of the night (and ruin the sleep he was going to get, please oh please oh please no), the Flame announced the first clever observation he could make.

"Look, Ed. A star." Ed, still annoyed, predictably looked skyward, confusion written across his face at the obvious lack of stars.

"It's too light out for stars, shithead," the blonde pointed out, brow furrowing as he looked up to his superior.

"Right there." Roy gestured towards a small decorative tree, more so underneath it, to the grass covered by a light frost. Sure enough, the outlines of a sloppily shaped star shown through, if but vaguely. Ed tilted his head to the side, a "You've-lost-it" look written all over his face. Roy knew that one very well too; he was tempted to list all of the different unique faces Edward could make, but was put off by the fact that he might run out of paper. So instead of thinking about it further, Mustang observed the boy as he stepped closer and stood on his toes for a better look.

"That's not a real star," Ed replied, stating the obvious, before looking back to the older man.

"If it looks like a star, then what does it matter? It's still a star. If I were you, I would close your eyes and make a wish." With slight hesitation, Ed did as he was told (while telling himself it was just to humor Mustang), golden orbs slipping shut as he grew quiet. But before he could even start on a wish that would never have been granted, two sturdy arms slipped around his shoulders. The blonde smiled and didn't open his eyes, tilting his face up to where he knew Roy was.

And they kissed, a _real_ kiss, right there on the porch, with the neighbor's dog as a witness and a dark sky swallowing Central.

As they both pulled back, eyes locked in some sort of understanding, Ed sighed and laid his head on Roy's chest. "You know what I need to say now, before I forget?"

The older man smiled sliding his arms back around his blonde's shoulders, linking his hands in a relaxed hold. "Hm. What?"

Ed tilted his head onto one of Roy's arms, looking up as a smile flickered across his face. He intently gazed into dark, warm, loving eyes. "Happy holidays."


	12. Chapter 12: Not

**A/N:** I do feel kind of guilty for those who had to go through the Scarlet Letter with all that symbolism, and now have to put up with me. –walks off whistling-

**Special thanks to:** narutonarutolove, TehDonutSecks, XxXSilverShadowXxX, Ining-Batong, Psycho Anime, SarahMaxine, Mama Muse, Marie Ravenclaw, BlackBloodHood, Hawk Cold Eyes, Une Rose, PutThatAway, Akakoi, DunTouchIt, RougueSakura, DanielDeathnote, SkyChasing Dreamer, Nekoblue7, (super thanks to you!), PuRE'Curse (and you as well!), xXxLovelessxXx, Fullmetal Angyl, and Suzuku90. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 12: **Not

"Edward," Roy sighed as he placed two steaming mugs onto the coffee table, nodding towards the blonde. "Do you have to sit on the floor?"

Ed, who had taken his stationary position on the cold hardwood of Roy Mustang's living room, leaning against the couch with legs sprawled out to the sides, looked up and shot the colonel a look. "Yes. I'm not getting your furniture dirty."

"I'm much more concerned about your health than my furniture."

"Well, I'm already on the floor. You made me walk all the way home last week. I'm not getting my ass up for anything."

"Fine, fine." The Flame leaned against the ivory-colored couch's armrest and hovered over his subordinate a moment longer. He studied the paleness of Ed's skin and the shakiness of his hands, flatly focusing on the top of Edward's head. "…are you _sure_ you don't want any help?"

The blonde turned and gave Roy his full attention. "I'm positive. Keep your grabby hands away from my shit."

"Temper," murmured the older man, lowering himself onto the cushions and laying his head on his arm.

Ed snorted and held up a hand, not breaking his gaze from the items before him. "You've asked three times now. I appreciate it, I really do, but this is hard enough to do by myself. Go finish your paperwork."

Roy shot the boy a sullen look that clearly suggested he Not Go There. And it was in that glance that he managed to zero in on Ed's arm, taking inventory on what was missing before the boy hastily lowered it. Too late.

"What are you doing without an IV?" Roy snapped, and the teenager looked away and nonchalantly shrugged. "Edward, I hate having to remind you, but you're still sick. Just because you have the freedom of getting up and moving around does _not_ mean you are out of the danger zone. You can still have attacks. They could kill you."

Ed glared at nothing in particular, carrying on with his work. "Then _don't_ remind me, and don't even _pretend_ like you care."

Roy sighed as he crossed one leg over the other, running a hand through his hair. "You're doing it again..."

"Shut up or I'm going to throw something at you," Ed growled, waving some sort of wooden frame in Roy's direction. The older man rolled his eyes at the mock threat, aware that the current situation could have easily been avoided. The idea had been spur of the moment, but Edward had decided to go through every bit of junk he and his brother had ever packed away. _'I need to get some pictures for Hughes. And just to see if there is anything there,'_ he had explained, clearly hinting that there may be something to nudge along the investigation. Edward had seemed to be on his own hunch ever since the morning of the dance, one he refused to the rest of the world. So it had been two days since, needless to say, Roy had arranged for Maes and himself to haul out every box in Edward's dark apartment and transport it to the Mustang residence.

And now, as Roy watched Edward fumble with the picture frame and drop it to the floor with a _crack_, he wondered if it had been such a good idea after all. Ed had done nothing but go through box after folder after box, barely stopping to eat, sleep, and even at some points breathe, and it was taking its toll. The colonel cocked his head to the side and smirked. "If you're going to be unhooked, you might as well be working on your hand-eye."

The blonde alchemist paused hand-in-box, eyes boring into his superior's. The gaze may have unnerved someone of less bravery, but Mustang stared back. Getting no reaction, Ed snorted. "My coordination is perfectly fine, you jerk."

Roy quirked an eyebrow and Edward could taste the sarcasm before he heard it leave the man's mouth. "Oh yes, now I remember," Roy said, snapping his fingers. "And I suppose someone moved the porch steps on purpose last week, _just_ to make you catch your foot and fall?"

"At least I'm not _fat_," Ed retorted, plucking at the collar of his top. Clothed in one of Roy's old dress shirts (the light-colored one with the wine stain; Ed had to roll the sleeves half way up and didn't bother buttoning the first two and last two buttons) and a pair of warm sweatpants (which, in the end, were deemed entirely too large and had to be transmuted to an appropriate size), Edward had bluntly told his boyfriend that he needed to 'lose a few pounds'. Roy had let it go, too preoccupied with how well the young man was pulling off the haphazard look. And he _was_.

Roy had already made the decision that Ed was categorized as 'tempting innocence'.

"I am _not_ fat," Roy snapped despite his previous uncaring, a feral grin spreading across his face. "_You_ are _small_. And uncoordinated."

Feeling as if his head weighed a thousand pounds, Ed laid it on one of the many boxes surrounding him. "…shut up."

The colonel shrugged, hand in the air out in front of him. "Just pretending to care."

Ed simply sighed, zeroing in on the mugs Roy had set on the table. "Is that coffee?"

The man's amusement was evident as he snatched one of the cups for himself. "For me. You get tea."

Edward lifted his head, brow furrowed. "Why?"

"Caffeine doesn't go well with your medication." The Flame held the mug to his lips, taking a swig. "Trust me."

Ed groaned dramatically, smoothing a hand over his face in frustration. Why was he attracted to this man? This man who constantly mothered him like a hen, and yet wouldn't allow him the independence his soul demanded? This sadistic, arrogant, _sexy_ man? Edward looked down into the box, at the things he hadn't yet gone through. Roy bothered the hell out of him at times, but in between those moments, he always thought of their relationship as 'odd'. From their conversations, arguments, and more…_physical_ aspects, things just _flowed_. But if someone had told him a few months ago that he would be thinking about the colonel as handsome, not to mention sexually attractive to boot, he would have run in the opposite direction screaming. Damn the sex appeal.

"Have you found anything that you were looking for?" The blonde looked up to see those dark eyes studying him, or perhaps the tens of boxes surrounding him. Or both. He sighed again.

"Not quite. Just an awful lot of things I've forgotten about, or things that I just plain didn't know we had. See, look at this." Feeling his chest tighten, Ed reached into the faded brown box, pulling out a thin silver chain and holding it up for Roy to see. Attached was a locket, oval-shaped with an intricate checkerboard design that was etched sideways down the front. It was simple, but beautiful too, like black ice, a glass rose, or the white curve of a skull. And the colonel could tell it wasn't silver at all, but gold. White gold. "This was my mother's. She always wore it. Aunt Pinako must have packed it away with her things." Ed lowered his hand and studied the locket himself, moving his hand around to study the way the light reflected off of it.

Roy rested his elbow on his knee, chin in his palm. "I'm guessing that's not what you're after?" He asked quietly, pulling Ed from the glittering treasure. Gold eyes swiveled up to the colonel in annoyance, and then back.

"Not by a long shot," Ed snorted as he carefully unwound the bits and pieces of the chain that had become entangled in itself. The major could feel the older man's eyes on him, was aware every breath and every move Roy made as he hastily tucked the charm back into the box. "Calm down, old man. Just give me a few more minutes." Sliding the box to the 'already picked through side', Edward drug the closest thing he could get his hand on over from the 'haven't been picked through side'. This happened to be an old suitcase, so worn and cracked that Ed himself was surprised the thing didn't fall apart on contact. He laid it on its side, running his flesh hand over the old leather and to the cold metal of the locks.

"Careful, Ed," Roy warned, face full of concern as he leaned forward.

"And now _you're_ doing it again." Ed grinned, unclasping the hinges and heaving the decrepit thing open. He didn't expect the things inside (if there were even any left) to be in that great of shape, and he certainly didn't expect them to be anything less than dirty. But what he hadn't planned for was for was the great cloud of dust that rose out of the suitcase, and for his breath to leave him as quickly as if someone had punched him in the chest.

As he choked and gagged and managed to get a bit of air into his lungs, Roy threw himself off of the couch and to the blonde's side. Ed's wheezing wasn't doing quite enough for his oxygen levels, and it sent his mind reeling. "I'mdizzy," he breathed, grabbing at his throat as if to emphasize the fact. Roy bent down lower, hands running down the boy's shoulders and pushing him to the floor. Ed followed the colonel's urgent hands without a fight, letting the suitcase go right as his back hit the hardwood. "Ow ow _ow_," the blonde hissed, muscles jerking as pain ripped through his chest and anywhere it could reach from there.

"Hold still, Ed," Roy commanded, and the blonde did his best through the coughs that shook his body like earthquakes. The colonel felt for the pulse, found it (quick, too quick), and checked the Ed's pupils. Dilated. "You need to lie down and stay down, understand?" Roy whispered, gathering himself an armful of convulsing Ed and lying him out on the couch. Roy counted the comforters as he pulled them over the trembling body. One. Two, three. He grabbed the inhaler (small and silver, given to the colonel when he went to the pharmacy for more medication), and threw it at Edward before turning his attention to the IV. The blonde caught it with a flick of his wrist and brought the device to his mouth, pressed down, and inhaled.

Roy grabbed the IV line, unclamping the end and flicking the tube to get the fluid moving. "Wrist." Edward laid it out obediently, his breathing still coming in short gasps. The colonel pressed his panic down as he fumbled with the IV, reminding himself that it was ten times worse for his blonde, and more panic wouldn't settle him down. Ripping the package open with his teeth, Roy uncapped the fresh needle and attached it to the IV line, flicking the plastic to encourage the fluid to move and expel air. As soon as the liquid was coming out in streams, he quickly attached it to Ed's wrist port and squeezed the bag once. Ed took another hit out of his inhaler, holding it in.

The room was silent as both alchemists held their breath. Roy from nervousness, and Ed from not really wanting to feel as if he were inhaling a cushion full of needles. Thirty seconds went by, and the Flame touched his companion's shoulder. Edward took in a shaky breath, grinding his teeth as he exhaled and shook his head. _'Not yet. More.'_ Mustang's eyes narrowed, and he gave the bag another squeeze as he hung it back up, dropping down to his knees to inspect his chibi's vitals.

Two fingers on the inside of Ed's wrist told the man all he needed to know, and he waited, lips pursed. Ed hated being reminded that, even in disguise, this house was still a hospital, Roy was the doctor, and he himself was still bound to medication and shots and vital signs. No matter how much Gray had wanted to cover it up, deny the truth, he couldn't fool Ed.

The seconds ticked by before Roy encouraged the blonde to take another breath. Edward did so shakily, sighing in relief when he could keep the air in. His chest heaved. "God…dammit," Ed breathed, closing his eyes. "Why can't I go without. The damn medication? Why am I still sick?"

Roy swallowed, gaze heavy. "I don't know."

The blonde groaned and put a hand to his chest, as if that would dull the ache that didn't want to leave him. It had been this way ever since he had decided to walk home a week ago; take out the IV, and he found himself going into some sort of attack, or spell, whichever it happened to be. Roy put his hand over Ed's, almost feeling an ache in himself with every painful heave of Edward's chest. He intertwined their fingers gently, but soon Ed was gripping with much more force, his teeth grinding in protest. "Goddamn," he breathed, all one word, one word that couldn't even begin to sum it all up, but at the same time said too much.

"You're going to be fine," the colonel reassured, running his thumb down the side of Ed's face. "You just need to keep the damn IV in, Ed. That's your lifeline." The teenager turned his face towards Roy, eyes glazed and piercing.

"Roy, I…." Ed started, but then broke out into a fit of coughing, sitting up and clutching a hand over his heart. The colonel reached over and gently forced Ed back into a down position, one hand on his forehead and the other on Ed's chest, despite his protests.

"Lie down, Ed, ple-" The Flame started, though his voice was very well drowned out by a cursing blonde, who surprised Roy by escalating his tone to full volume.

"Lemme up, dammit!" Ed growled and struggled, hacking all the while.

"Edward, if you want to continue to stay active, you _will_ do as I say," Roy commanded, grabbing the automail fist that was waving dangerously close to his face.

"Will you just let me go and liste-"

"You need to stay down. You're getting delusional," the older man interrupted, tightening his grip on Edward's metal hand. He could feel the synthetic muscles tighten and shake, hear the grinding of steel as fingers clenched and fought his hold. Roy gritted his teeth.

"Get the hell _off_ me, Roy, I'm not delusional, I'm just trying to sa-"

"Edward!"

Both man and boy flinched as the name rang out, Ed because it was _his_ name, and Roy from momentarily forgetting he had a guest. Ed immediately gave up resistance, and in return Mustang released his automail, but kept a hand on the boy's chest. Silence ensued for a very long few seconds, during which Edward's intense stare gave the colonel no mercy. "I. Fucking. Hate. You," the young major spat, teeth clenched together during his speech. He didn't hate Roy for holding him down. No, that act was simply an irritant, enough to get him riled up. But Mustang not telling him she was here, that was a different story. Edward had no idea she was even in the area, let alone standing in the entry hall of Roy Mustang's house. And _that_ pissed him off.

"Lie. Down," Hawkeye commanded from the foyer, her figure visible as she neatly stacked a pile of paperwork on the front table. She turned her piercing amber eyes to the two men, particularly one, who was glaring daggers. "Now."

"Yes, Ma'am," he whispered dejectedly, hissing as the Flame lifted the hand off of his chest. Roy looked down at the boy below him in concern, but got no explanation as to what was wrong from the seething teenager. Edward gingerly moved his wrist across his chest, rolling over so his back faced Roy. Said man unwound the kinks in the IV tube that had resulted from Ed's small tantrum, making sure the line was flowing again before he turned his attention back to the pouting blonde.

"Ed, what were you saying?"

Edward wrapped his arms around himself in a further effort of ignorance, burying his face into the plush, creme colored cushions. "Nevermind, ass." The man shot his companion a perplexed look, mouth open and hand reaching out.

"Colonel?" Roy froze and looked up to acknowledge the woman who had called his name. There stood Hawkeye, not in uniform but dressed smartly, and hands empty. Her eyes, which Roy expected to be fixated on him, were focused directly on Edward, even when she said, "I'd like to speak to you."

After a few seconds, he nodded. "Meet me in the study." He turned back to Ed, running his hand over the boy's forehead and down to his lips. He tapped a finger there twice. "I'll be right back," he whispered. Ed didn't respond.

Roy ran the same hand down Ed's spine and back up again. He could feel Ed shiver and lean into the action, though when the older man gave his shoulder a squeeze, the boy shrugged him off roughly. Roy sighed and got to his feet, slipping out of the room without a sound.

* * *

Roy's study was at the very end of the right-hand hallway; it was the smaller of the two, with a desk against one of the windows and a few bookcases placed along the walls, which were painted green. Newspaper clippings were arranged with precision on the wall to the right of the window, and several books were lined up on the desk, against the wall. A lone lamp provided the only light in the room, aside from the setting sun. The colonel stood by the other window, away from his books, away from the articles, away from the work he did alone. Hawkeye stood behind him.

"He's hit a brick wall, hasn't he?"

Roy placed his hand on the window, letting the chill of winter seep through his hand and up his arm. He took a deep, shaky breath. "I think so."

Riza crossed her arms. "He really should go to a doctor."

Mustang removed his hand from the window, exhaling a cloud of fog on the surface. "You think I don't know that?"

The woman's eyes widened, and she fixated them to the colonel's back. "Then why don't you take him?"

"He won't go, Hawkeye. I can't get him to agree."

"With all due respect, Sir, just take him. Sedate him."

Roy turned himself to her and blinked. The setting sun shined through the pane, and it turned everything behind Hawkeye a muted orange or completely black. He regarded her stance for a moment, before again turning away. He placed a finger on the clouded glass, absentmindedly sketching an array on the fog. "I thought about it. I came close to it. But I can't betray his trust like that, Lieutenant."

Her eyes narrowed. Albeit the change was subtle, the dark-haired man could feel her displeasure floating in the air. "Sir, you might not have a choice in the matter. The Fuhrer is getting suspicious. He believes that you are deliberately keeping Edward here for your own reasons, and/or to infiltrate the investigation. He is determined to get that boy back, Sir." She got no reaction from Roy. "He's going to do whatever it takes, and you know that, Colonel. Hakuro will take Edward elsewhere, he'll transfer him to the other side of the country, he'll separate you two, he'll..."

She paused, eyes worried. "Sometimes, Colonel, you have to make those you care about face the things they fear. For their sake."

The words that came next were spoken quietly. "That's the problem. He's not afraid."

Hawkeye turned to look at her boss, face forming the question before her lips. "Then why...?"

Roy turned away from the window, hands deep in his pockets as he leaned against one of the bookcases. "I don't have an answer for that one." His mouth smiled at her, but his eyes didn't.

"Then I wouldn't wait for one, Sir."

The Flame's eyes became hard as he fixed them to Hawkeye's, his voice soft but strong. "He's impulsive. He's stubborn. But one thing he isn't anymore, Hawkeye, is a child." He pushed himself off of the wooden structure, gaze softening as he looked away. "I can't make decisions for him."

Hawkeye's blonde brow furrowed, and her voice dropped to a whisper. "You would rather let him die this way?"

"You and I both know the answer to that one, Riza. You're becoming worse than I am," Roy chuckled dryly, running a hand through his hair. Under her defensive posture, he couldn't ignore the change in her eyes. Pleading.

"Just don't get…carried away, Colonel. Be careful with him. Don't let anything go or slip."

"We'll take care of this, Hawkeye," he whispered, pushing away from the window and turning to one of the bookcases. As he walked towards his desk, he ran his thumb across titles and titles of books. Books he'd poured himself over for weeks, trying to find a way to make sense of it. An answer. Anything. He stopped when his fingers rested on the case file of Alphonse Elric. "No matter what it takes. Edward is not going anywhere. And his brother will find peace."

"I really hope you know what you're doing, Colonel. More than his life is at stake here."

Roy huffed indignantly, pushing away from the texts and slamming his hands down onto his desk. Riza flinched. "Hawkeye."

"Sir." She said respectively, right hand flying up to her forehead. Roy turned to regard her with a dark stare, hands still planted firmly on the surface. Riza could feel her muscles tense, preparing herself for the tongue lashing she was expecting for so many out-of-line questions.

But he surprised her with a smile and an answer. "I know."

She dropped her stance, face falling. "I…I know you do."

He turned away from her, lifting himself off of the desk. "Major Edward Elric's health is going downhill. He will be further moving in temporarily to avoid any compromising situations to his health. He will be fully interrogated by an investigator, and as soon as his health improves, will be leaving the Mustang residence. I'm trusting you, Lieutenant."

He heard the door open. "I'm going to head out, Colonel. Stay safe."

His eyes began to burn before the handle clicked shut.

* * *

"ED!"

The blonde boy flinched like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He slowly looked over his shoulder, eyes wide and mouth unmoving.

"What the fuck are you _doing_?"

"I'm. Going through. My shit," he said matter-of-factly, clasping the suitcase shut and shoving it off to the side. Once again leaned up against the couch with his legs sprawled out, Ed almost looked like the previous events had never happened. But the IV line standing beside him served as a very insistent reminder.

Roy rubbed a hand down his face as he stalked into the room, stopping to hover over the other alchemist. "You _need_ to lie down."

Ed reached over and snagged a large file folder, rubbing his thumb over the label to remove the dust. "I've got the IV in, don't I? It's good enough."

Roy growled, retaking his seat on the couch and nudging Ed with his foot. "No, it's not. You were acting out so out of character earlier, you were-"

"Mustang, shut up," Ed snapped, dropping the folder to the floor. He looked over to his boss, expression as flat as Roy's was dark. "I'm _going_ to find something. You might not get it, but my brother is _dead_." Ed paused, breathing heavily. "And we're…we're running out of options."

Roy sighed, patting the space beside him. "Just come sit with me for awhile." He earned himself a golden glare, but ignored it. "There are a few important things we need to talk about." Ed took a quick look between the colonel and the folder. He had to fight the urge to turn his back, to rip the damn thing open, to finish what he'd started and who gave a _damn_ about what Roy thought. '_He just doesn't get it_', but Ed got to his feet anyway, hobbling a few steps before sinking into the cushions beside his superior. This earned him a blanket over his shoulders, a mug of tea in his hands. "Thank you. I'll bring the box up here in a bit for you, hm?"

Ed stared at his reflection in the brown liquid. "Give me the coffee. And I won't even need. The box."

"I hear caffeine stunts growth in many teenagers."

Ed pursed his lips. "I'll pretend I didn't. Hear that, just to. Be nice."

"When did you start becoming such a coffee addict?"

Ed grinned, setting his mug down. "I'm not the one. Who's addicted."

Roy sniffed. "I'm not addicted."

"Whatever," Ed replied, shrugging and reaching for Roy's mug. The man snatched it away.

"I order you to shove it, Fullmetal," he snapped, lifting the mug to his lips and quirking an eyebrow. What he expected was for the teenager to pout like the child he never really got to be. What he didn't expect was for Ed to give him that beautiful lopsided smile. The older man blinked a few times, setting the mug on the table and leaning back, arm slung over the back of the couch. He couldn't break contact from that face.

"You had something to say?" Ed whispered, scooting closer so that the side of his face was pressed into Roy's shoulder. The older man wrapped the arm around Edward's shoulders, mouth getting dangerously close to the boy's ear as he whispered.

"We are forbidden. The Fuhrer is getting nosy."

Ed leaned his head back, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Then why are you risking. Everything you've got now, just to be with me?"

"You're risking things too, yes?" Roy pressed his face to golden hair, taking a deep breath and sighing happily despite the topic at hand.

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean as. Much to me as it means to you."

"Edward, look at me." Said boy opened his eyes as Roy grabbed his chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "It does mean a lot to me to climb the ranks and become Fuhrer, but you are a human being, and I care for you. That means just as much to me as becoming Fuhrer of this country." He released Ed's chin and brushed their lips together, savoring the brief union and the soft blush that colored Ed's cheeks.

"Any more of that and you'll turn into. A mushy romance poet," Ed mumbled, proving that he was clearly uncomfortable with how hot his face was getting as he ducked his head down.

"I take mild offense to that," Roy purred, slipping hand over Edward's forehead and pushing up until golden eyes were again visible.

The teenager shook him off and snorted. "You should."

At this remark, another strong arm wrapped around his body, and Ed eagerly returned the warm embrace. Roy watched with soft eyes, surprised as Ed's blush faded, leaving a very weary looking boy in its wake. Said boy sighed. "Things like this almost make it all safe." He let the whispered words slip before he could catch them. Ed could have smacked himself, and almost did when they didn't go unnoticed.

Roy gave him a surprised look, pulling away to get a better look at his companion. "You don't feel safe?" Gold eyes swiveled up to him, and then looked away after a moment. 'Letigo' was all the older man heard, and his eyes narrowed in response. "You always try to cover these things up, don't you? So no one will worry about you and you won't have to worry about them getting involved. You try to deal with the problem yourself because you think you're the only one who can solve it, pushing everyone else away when they just want to help. You even did it to me that day you had your second nightmare, and I've explained this to you and myself so many times it feels like deja vu." He unwound his arms from Edward, placing an elbow on his leg as he turned to regard the boy. Ed in return sat taller, making a point to not make eye contact, but it didn't faze the colonel. "So tell me this. What else have you been hiding?"

Ed's facial muscles tightened, his jaw silently working as he came up with his answer. "It won't matter how many times you fucking ask, Mustang. The things you want to know are things that I would rather not think about."

"It's getting old, Ed. And fast."

Ed shot the colonel a glare. "Same to you."

Aside from a raised eyebrow, the man held an admirable poker face. "Then you had better promise, when you are ready to talk, you _do not_ hide it from me. Or anyone. I don't care if you'd rather talk to Hughes, those Tringham kids, or even Hawkeye's _dog_ for that matter. Deal?"

Ed gave the colonel a flat look, but nodded just the same. "Deal." Ed took another sip of his tea, regarding the colonel with a questionable expression. "By the way, why's Hughes involved with Al's case when he's supposed to be doing court martial investigations?"

"Ah. There are a few exceptions, Edward." He leaned back, crossing his arms behind his head, blue eyes closing. "Out of all the people investigating murders, who do you think would know your brother best?"

Ed looked up at the ceiling, contemplating his answer. "None." His golden eyes widened in realization, and he smiled. "Oh. So they brought Hughes over because he was closest to us?"

Roy nodded. "More like he volunteered, but you have the right idea." He opened his eyes, and Ed noted that he looked very far away. Like he was there but really not, worrying and worrying about secrets and lies and secret lies that Ed would never hear of. Gently, he laid his head on the junction between Roy's arm and chest, listening to the man's lungs fill with air. He could feel Mustang's chest tense and vibrate as he spoke. "Hawkeye and I had a nice little chat."

Ed blinked. "I'm aware."

Roy dropped one of his hands to Edward's head, smoothing his hair. "You're wanted back."

Ed tilted his head to the side, gazing at his superior out of the corner of his eye. "I'm sick."

"I know." There was something soothing about petting Edward, Roy decided. Like running your fingers over silk, or the tips of wild grass, or through warm water. The two relished in silence for a long, long minute, "You need to get better, Ed. They might try to take you away from here, to someone else's estate. Or maybe back to the hospital."

Ed shifted so that he was sitting crossed legged, one knee buried into the back of the couch and the other hanging off of the edge. He stared long and hard at Roy's thigh, as if that's where the answer to his mind's question lay. No such luck. "What I was trying to ask you earlier..." He started, laying his hand palm-up on the colonel's knee. Roy mimicked the action, laying his hand palm-up in Edward's, noting the sizeable difference. Ed swallowed. "What if, hypothetically, I'm _not_ going to get better?"

Roy slipped his hand underneath of the blonde's, fingers closing and locking the two of them together. "I don't know, Ed. Hypothetically, you should be honorably discharged. But they are so convinced that they need you..." His voice trailed off and he let go of the boy's hand, but Ed didn't, brow furrowed and a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I don't _get_ it. They're 'convinced that they need me'. For what?" Ed questioned, not really looking for an answer and not knowing if he truly wanted one. "It's obvious they have already written Al's murder off and are focusing on me."

Roy sighed. "I hate to sound narcissistic, but Hughes and I have discussed that they may be trying to get at me."

Ed eyed him with a perplexed expression, intelligent golden eyes clearly showing the brainwork that was going on behind them. "Hakuro must be pretty damn desperate to get on your nerves," he concluded, finger to his chin as he nodded to his own answers.

"I think he's trying to do a bit more than get on my nerves, Edward. He's probably trying to knock me off my feet and back down the ranks where he believes I belong. I'm no longer a threat that way."

The two stared into each others eyes, brows dipped in uncertainty and jaws tight. The blonde was the first to break the silence, letting out a growl and throwing a hand in the air.

"God, this makes my head _hurt!_" Ed groaned, scratching his scalp so hard Roy thought that if he hadn't truly been hurting up to that point, he sure as hell did now. But the added pain did nothing to quell Ed's fears, and the boy kept babbling away. "Fuhrer Dickhead has one hell of a complex. Does he really think you would be completely deflated without me?"

It was sudden, but welcomed.

Roy leaned forward and captured Ed's lips in a chaste kiss, quick and sweet and cutting anything Ed was about to say off. They drew apart, and before Roy could speak, the blonde threw himself forward, going back for a much longer indulgence, smirk in place. Roy opened his mouth invitingly, hands slipping the blanket off of Ed's shoulders. The blonde responded eagerly, pressing himself closer to the larger body until he was all but straddling the older man's hips. They broke apart momentarily to regain lost breath, before starting right back where they'd stopped. All lips and teeth and tongue, and Edward couldn't get himself to think about anything other than the heated body against him. With every breath he manged to get in, the smell and taste and feel of everything that was purely Roy Mustang entered his senses, and his brain reacted as if he'd downed a keg of alcohol in one gulp. He was distracted. He was drunk. And he didn't have a chance to think.

Before Edward could get ahold of himself, Roy was pushing gently on his shoulders, guiding him down until his back hit the couch and the Flame hovered above him. Ed couldn't react as the other alchemist settled himself down lightly, careful to keep most of the weight off the adolescent's chest and letting his hands wander down to rest on Ed's hips. A shiver ran down the Ed's spine, raising goose bumps on his skin and causing a wave of desire to wash over him.

Roy's mouth left the blonde's, trailing down a pristine jawline and to a soft, strong neck. Lips turned into teeth, and the blonde's breath hitched in his throat, pressing the side of his head to Roy's, ear to ear. He pushed himself up and into the older man, attempting to close the distance and assert himself to show some control. Roy chuckled quietly but continued to work his way around Ed's neck, kissing and nipping tender skin in all the right places when Ed moaned. He wasn't very loud, the older man noted. But that fact that the major's mouth had nearly been pressed to the Flame's ear had immediately made the man's pants feel just a tiny bit too tight. He quickly abandoned Edward's neck and all but attacked his exposed collar bone, earning a shuddering gasp from the body below him. The blonde pressed himself up again, fighting against the larger body for control.

Roy eased himself down lower, holding fast and refusing to give up his power. There wasn't much he could do, trying to keep Ed breathing while steadily keeping his post as the dominant one. He never did enjoy multitasking. And the way Ed was shivering in short, sharp bursts didn't help Roy's struggle against his right mind. He allowed his supporting arm to give way, allowing their bodies to further meld as one, allowing their hips to touch. Allowing them to not only touch, but to press together.

In the colonel's defense, it wasn't purely his fault; the action was done unconsciously. Roy had been gifted with the talent of superb self-control, but he had never experienced this before, never lain with another man, and nor could he remember a woman he'd been with being so attractive. His body had gone ahead of him and left his mind in the dust. Mustang had known he'd screwed up before he could sense how anxious Edward was, had known before his muscles tensed and his golden eyes widened. And when hands, automail and flesh, fluttered down Roy's neck and rested at his shoulders, the older man knew what it meant.

Stop.

Edward's hands were trying to push him away, trying to tell him to back off. It was such a gentle force, really, one that said, 'I can't make you. I know I can't, but _please_.' Slowly, and ever so carefully, he pulled away from the object of his affections, meeting a strong golden gaze. Jaw clenched and silently working, the blonde offered no explanation. Roy was so puzzled by the sudden request that it took him a few seconds to realize that Ed wasn't just nervous, he was downright terrified, andthere was a serious, serious law over what they were doing, so he _really_ needed to pull the curtains shut next time.

His neighbors had a filthy habit of watching the shows from next door if he managed to forget.

But there was a more pressing matter here. Ed's face was several shades paler and his breathing had picked up pace, not to mention his eyes were faded and distant. Unfocused and unblinking.

"Stop," Ed whispered weakly, slowly, squeezing Roy's shoulder for a brief moment. The older alchemist had already complied, looking down at the blonde with a questioning cock of his head and narrowed eyes. "Please. Don't..." the younger trailed off, body tense and a single shiver shaking him. Though he _had_ stopped, Roy was perplexed by the blonde's ongoing odd behavior, and the man could get a feel for what was happening and what may _still_ happen.

_'One more stress or panic attack like that, and so close to the first, would surely _kill _him.'_

Roy sat up, grabbing Ed's dark shirt between his thumb and index finger and pulling until Ed did the same. The blonde shifted and hung his legs off the edge of the couch. The men slumped back against the couch in sync, hands useless in their laps and eyes staring at the ceiling. Ed's eyes were wide as he slowly leaned to the side, arm pressing against Roy's ribcage. The older man closed his eyes. He pressed two fingers to his temple and sat stock still.

"I'm sorry, Ed."

The boy gritted his teeth. "No. I'm sorry. It's something dumb, and-"

Roy's eyes narrowed and he turned his head to the side, just a fraction of an inch. Enough for his piercing dark eyes to make Ed flinch. "No, it's not dumb." His eyes softened. "I shouldn't have done it. If you aren't comfortable, then I'll refrain from doing that until you're ready."

"But it wasn't because of y-" Ed stopped abruptly, lips parted and eyes worried. "Alright." He pressed his fingers over his eyes, letting go a shuddering breath. "I can't help it…I always get tense, and..."

The colonel's head swiveled to the side so quickly Ed wondered how he hadn't fallen over. He quirked a golden eyebrow. Roy cleared his throat, tapping a finger to his chin for a few seconds. "So you've done this before?"

Ed's eyes snapped open and his heart stopped. "N-nevermind," he stuttered, turning his wide eyes onto Roy, cheeks colored. The Flame returned nothing but a dark stare, an amused smile tugging at the corner of those perfect lips. Ed's heart felt like it would leap out of his chest any moment. He buried his burning face into his hands, suddenly feeling very sick to his stomach. "Forget I said anything."

Roy chuckled dryly, shooting the blonde a half-hearted smirk. "If you say so. Nothing to be embarrassed about, Ed."

But still, as open as he was getting, Edward could only stare at the coffee table through his fingers and think, _'You should be right, but I think you're wrong.'_

* * *

The first thing Roy knew upon waking up was that it was cold.

_Really cold._

Which, if he hadn't been aware of his current surroundings, would have suggested he had kicked off the blankets during the night. But they were there, Roy knew; he could feel them, warm and where they always were. There was also the possibility that he had become too cozy with Edward's automail (which had a delightful habit of freezing his legs), but the sensation was chilly, not bitter. Eyes still closed, Roy felt towards the other half of the bed and got his answer and groaned. Edward was gone.

"Dammit," he mumbled, throwing off the down comforter and dragging himself out of bed. The long weeks of being excused from duty at Central had given the colonel time to develop, and love, The Habit: sleeping in. His head ached for it, his bones longed for it, and his entire being pleaded with him to crawl back under the covers. _'For just a few more minutes'._ But Roy shook the thoughts from his head, pulling on a jacket and stepping out of his room.

He had babysitting duty. And Edward was on the loose.

Roy stumbled down the stairs in a daze, not yet fully awake and not really caring that he almost killed himself on the stairs or tripped over the boots Ed had discarded near the couch. The high windows caught the morning glow, turning the walls gold and casting peaceful shadows across the great room. But the Flame didn't have time to pay it any heed. There was one thing on his mind: Coffee. Black. Hot enough to burn. Enough to keep him awake.

The aroma was sweet and warm even before he entered the kitchen, wafting about the air and pulling him towards the source. Roy hesitated before stepping onto the bone chilling tile, a foggy part of his brain warning him that it wasn't the best of ideas to be wandering around barefoot. He hissed and took a few long steps onto the rug in front of one of the counters, curling his toes in protest to the cold.

Slippers would have been nice, but with a smell like that around, Roy was powerless. He _needed_ it.

Edward the Coffee Devil. After all, if it hadn't been for the automail-clad blonde getting into his coffee stash, the colonel's brain would have been working better and his feet wouldn't have suffered. Blaming something on Ed was easy, he'd long ago decided; getting himself to accept the lie, however, hadn't worked as of yet. He feared it never would.

Grabbing a mug from the cupboard, Roy filled it to the brim and all but inhaled the liquid. It didn't have time to burn his mouth at the speed it was traveling, but the coffee made sure it paid extra-special attention to Mustang's throat. For a moment he was on fire, and in the next, he didn't care. He could hear the birds, the breeze, the coffee maker. He could see the clock that read 8:02am, he could see in color, pink and orange and yellow; but he was looking for gold. The man wrapped his hand around the coffee pot handle, poured himself another cup, and walked out of the kitchen. The fog in his mind had cleared a bit for the time being, and he could think. And when he could think, he could think like Edward.

And it was easy to think like Ed in the early morning. Which is why it was also easy to find him.

"It's not good for you to be out here," Roy greeted, sliding the door shut and stepping out into the chill of his sun porch. Ed regarded him with a sleepy yellow gaze, a stack of old papers and an empty mug sitting in front of him, one of Roy's dark military jackets draped over his shoulders.

"G'morning to you too." Edward's seat at the table was the one giving him a view of the large yard and sky, the one Roy himself had always found favoring over the others. Faced with the waking sun, the two were able to see the morning glow and every color in between. Roy took a sip from his mug, ruffling Ed's hair. The blonde boy leaned into the action and sighed, feeling the heat of Mustang's hand as it warmed him and sent shivers down his spine. Roy chuckled, smoothing out the tufts of hair that he had upset.

"What are you doing out here? It's freezing."

Ed gave the colonel a flat stare, but a smile still played about his lips. "I'm not a china doll, Mustang. I can take a little cold air and some lost rest. Besides-" He cut himself off, looking out into the snow covered yard wistfully. "I couldn't sleep."

Roy's face softened and he dropped his hand to the boy's shoulder. "…Ed-"

Said blonde shook his head, stopping Roy from continuing. "It's not a first for me, and I'm used to it." He indiscreetly stole Roy's mug from the man's hand and took a long sip, relishing in the way it burned the roof of his mouth and all the way down. "It's nice coming out here early, anyway. You wouldn't think something like this would exist in Central."

"It's part of the world, isn't it?" Roy said pointedly as his snagged the mug back, pulling a chair out for himself and having a seat. Edward snorted in answer, unamused.

"Yeah, the world's hell hole." The two sat quietly for a time, studying the glass windows, the snow, the newborn sun. And occasionally, out of the corner of their eyes, each other. Ed sighed and stretched, giving a big yawn. "It _is_ nice, but it makes me miss Risembool. The sunrises out there are something to see."

"I guess I can't help but to take your word for it." The older man frowned as Ed swiped the cup and took another gulp of coffee. The fact that it was _his_ coffee was bothering Roy, but less so than other things. "You really shouldn't be drinking coffee. A lot of the side effects from the medication happen when they're mixed with caffeine."

The teenager shrugged. "I'll live, Doc."

The older alchemist chuckled, running his fingers over Edward's and snatching his mug back for the second time. "Hopefully. I've heard that your antibiotic can get nasty."

Ed wrinkled his nose in response. "What're you doing up so early anyway, Mustang?"

"Babysitting duty." A squinted golden eye and quirked eyebrow warned the colonel that he was very close to a black eye. Roy shrugged, raising the mug to his lips. "I was cold."

Ed nodded in understanding, eyes still stern from Roy's childish comment. "Sorry about that." They again sat in silence, Roy sipping away at his drink while Edward returned his attention to the papers before him. They were old, the Flame noted, yellowed and wrinkled and probably containing more dust than his entire household. Just as he was about to ask Ed if he was planning on finding anything in a stack of decrepit stationary, a sudden sharp grinding startled both owner and observer.

"Ed," the colonel drawled, eying the boy. "What the hell was that?"

The blonde grinned sheepishly, repeating the rolling motion with his shoulder and earning another resounding _crack_. "My ports are locking up. Winry's gonna be pissed."

Mustang leaned down and pressed his lips to Ed's hair, his voice almost purring. "Then why don't you come back inside?"

The boy shrugged him off. "I like the cold," was his reply, defending his right to sit out in the forty something degree weather. His bright golden eyes leered at the colonel for a moment until he sighed and turned back towards the rising sky. "Aside from the incredibly stiff joints, I don't feel much. I guess that's why I like it."

"You really are the odd one."

"I don't enjoy being like everyone else." Roy looked over at the blonde, knowing that even _if _Ed enjoyed being like everyone else, the possibility of him being so was zero. His eyes wove over the automail, the scars, the eyes that held up a barrier, a body wrought with years of hardships. And now this. Pale skin, shaky hands, tied to medication that wasn't doing its job well enough and lingering in and out of a sickness none of them could describe. If there was one thing Roy Mustang knew, it was that life wasn't fair. But Edward Elric was too ridiculous of an example.

Roy slipped a hand over said boy's forehead, sighing in frustration and worry. "Edward, you're running a fever."

"Fancy that," Ed whispered, smiling groggily at his superior. He swatted Roy's hand away, looking back down to his pile of papers and moving the top sheet to the bottom. Without breaking his concentration, Ed cocked his head to the side and smiled. "It's going to be nice today."

Roy pushed his chair back, abandoning the cooling mug of coffee to stand behind the teenager. "Looks like it," he murmured, leaning down to touch the side of his face to Ed's.

"I miss the summer, though." Edward's voice was quiet and his eyes far off, studying the pink sky tinged with orange. "When it's here, you're gonna come with me so we can say hi to Al."

"We'll see about that one, Ed," he whispered, resting his chin atop the blonde's head. "We'll see."

The automail-clad teen sighed again, running his fingers down the ragged edge of an old letter. He again picked up the pile and moved the top paper to the bottom, carefully to neatly realign them before lying the stack back down. With the happy weight of Roy hanging over his shoulders, Ed settled in to read through yet another piece of history when he froze.

_'No. _No_._' He brushed the writing aside, quickly leafing through the rest to find something, _anything,_ else like it.

He found nothing.

_'There is_ no _way,' _Edward thought fiercely, feeling as if someone had just tipped a bucket of cold water on him. He all but ripped the paper in his hurry to pick it up, grappling for the sleek edge and holding it as close to his face as possible. The date went unseen; it was the content of the letter that irked him so badly.

Content with simply being close enough to breathe in his partner's scent, Roy didn't notice Ed's sudden movements. Hell, he hadn't even been aware of how hard Ed was shivering, at least until the boy nudged him harshly in the ribs. "Hey, Bastard, look at this."

The dark-haired man blinked in surprise. "What?"

Ed paused, eyes scanning, confirming. He waved the piece of paper he'd been studying in Roy's face, before holding it steady again. "Am I seeing things? Please tell me I'm seeing things."

Roy leaned over his partner's shoulder, inspecting the paper. It wasn't like the others, which were aged, worn and yellowed. No, this sheet was fresh, crisp and white, so newly written you could almost smell the ink. The handwriting was beautiful, elegant, scrawling out six words that made the hairs on the back of Roy's neck stand on end.

_It's not what you think, Brother._

"That's Al's handwriting," Ed whispered. And then he traced his finger to the top right corner. Both alchemists' breathing hitched and stopped. It wasn't Al's handwriting.

And it was dated three days ago.


	13. Chapter 13: Crime Stuff

**A/N:** I just sneezed. What a way to start a new chapter.

**Special thanks to:** TehDonutSecks, betweenlife, purplewriter22, UP2L8, iheartanime07, KyuubiNineTailedFox, PaperBagGhost, love-peace-music, SkyChasingDreamer, Hyperthia, Psycho Anime, Mama Muse, Hawk Cold Eyes, Daniel Deathnote, PutThatAway, DunTouchIt, and xLacri. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 13: **Crime Stuff

Ed had been unusually calm about the entire ordeal. After confirming that '_yes, this is definitely my brother's handwriting'_, Ed had quietly asked for a large sandwich bag. In went the letter, out went the air, and gone went Edward. Elbows on the table, chin on folded hands, he'd whispered _'oh, fuck me'_, and then shut down.

Typically, the Flame had called Hughes.

And typically, Hughes had spread the news to his partner in crime.

And even more typically, at 4:08 pm, Roy had found his great room not only seating himself and Edward, but Hughes and his subordinate as well.

First Lieutenant Levi Anderson was tall and lean, with dark brown hair and bright green eyes. He had a notable accent, curved and lilted, and his words lacked the use of contractions, common for those from a Northern country. He was also very cheerful, Roy had noticed (but of _course_ someone like this would work under Hughes, the man who sometimes threatened to explode happiness everywhere). Though the case outlook was grim, Anderson had greeted Edward and Roy with a grin and a salute, introducing himself by title. He was quick to get down to business, laying his things out on the coffee table and going to work on the sealed letter. Coasters and candles had long since been removed in favor of a few letters from Alphonse to Edward, the letter that had been discovered that morning, several official looking documents, and, what the colonel referred to as, 'crime stuff'. Ink, metal instruments, various kinds of plastic bags, and most importantly, magnifying glasses.

Roy folded another bath towel, pale hands working over the soft fabric to smooth the wrinkles before he added it to the growing pile of finished laundry. He had mastered the Towel Fold years ago, but was still able to keep his mind to it, and off of most everything else. Burger fold, hot dog fold, one-two-in-a-row fold, done. Burger, hotdog, one-two. Repeat. And repeat. Maybe it hadn't been such a bad thing, abandoning the growing piles of dirty linen for a week as they took over the laundry baskets and the floor surrounding them. Ed had been much more interesting at the time and was also interested in the Colonel, but now that his interest in the Colonel had faded for the moment, the Colonel's interest found itself elsewhere. With towels.

When he had come home after his brother's death, Roy had done laundry. All the laundry he could, stripping every bed in the house when he ran out of clothes and towels, and even settling for the cloth place mats and throw rugs when he ran out of linen. After he'd come home after basic training. After the alchemy exam. After his first war. After every one night stand. He'd drank. And then he had done laundry. It had been the Flame's crutch, this laundry, something to hold on to and keep his hands busy when the world wasn't making sense. Because even if the world wasn't making sense, Roy knew his laundry still did. Hotdog, burger, one-two.

Roy paused mid fold as his gaze was, once again, drawn to the right. His golden love interest, seated on the far end of the same couch with his back to Roy, stared out the window. Even beneath the blanket Edward had cocooned himself in, one could make out the tense lines of his shoulders and back, and Roy could almost feel the waves of irritation and fear flowing from his general area. Roy had not permitted him to stay in the sunroom due to the chill and his fever, so after a struggle, Edward had settled for the couch arm, a blanket, and a view of the spacious backyard. And nothing had roused his interest since.

Aside from the sandwich Roy had placed in front of him around one. But that was to be expected.

"It's probably not good for you."

Roy was pulled from his thoughts at the sudden speech, and he looked across the coffee table to where Hughes and Anderson sat. The alchemist blinked. "Pardon?"

Maes quirked an eyebrow. "I said, it's probably not good for you." His forehead smoothed as the eyebrow was lowered, a smile taking its place. "You know, not blinking."

"Yeah." Roy blinked a few more times and rubbed a hand down his face.

"You and laundry," Maes mused, crossing his legs and tilting his head back to look at the ceiling, "after all these years, have never been able to part ways."

Roy smirked and ran his hand suggestively over the unfolded pile of wash. "What can I say; I've never been so attached to anything in my life."

Hughes chuckled and shot his friend a look. "So what exactly has you this time?"

The Flame's smirk faded. He turned again to look at the back of Edward, angry and alone, and all at once he wasn't twenty-nine but fifty, and he was tired. Very tired. He clenched and unclenched his jaw, midnight eyes fixing Hughes in their stare. "I was just thinking about how much more he can handle."

"How long has he been like this?" Levi Anderson questioned, looking up from his work curiously.

Roy, surprised that the man was actually interested in something besides the forensics placed in front of him, had to gather his thoughts before answering. "Since about noon or so," he said slowly, quirking an eyebrow.

Levi mimicked his expression, deft hands hovering over the crime stuff. "And how high is his fever?"

Roy placed the towel he had just folded into his lap, and then regarded the Lieutenant with a gloomy stare. "One oh one."

Anderson nodded slowly, looking back down at his work and carrying on as if he hadn't started a conversation. The Colonel locked eyes with Hughes, who shrugged, leaned back into the couch, the metal on his uniform glinting and shining as he shrugged again. Roy sighed quietly, added the towel in his lap to the pile, and folded another.

"You said he did not sleep well, either?" Anderson broke in, not looking up from his magnifying glasses.

Roy paused, shooting Hughes another look. But the Lieutenant had seemed to adopt a peculiar interest in the ceiling, not meeting Roy's gaze and more or less saying '_you're on your own, bud_.'

The Flame took a deep breath. "Nope," he said, and tossed the towel onto the already unsteady pile. The towels wobbled but held, resting in a tilt that threatened to fall. "He's used his inhaler twice today, too."

"Really now."

Roy nodded, but a glance at the investigator revealed that he wasn't looking in the Colonel's direction. "Yup," Roy reanswered. He then reached over and pushed the pile back up, straightening it out and taking a few towels from the top. Roy could feel Ed looking at him, observing as Roy started a new pile next to the one that had almost fallen. But as he finished and looked up, the alchemist caught Edward whipping his head back around to face the window.

"Damn," Hughes murmured with raised eyebrows, and he scratched his neck. All three men regarded the back of Edward's head, shrouded in the blanket's fluffy white cloth. Roy noted how very uncomfortable the alchemist became as the three sets of eyes were placed on him. The Flame knew Edward was sensitive to his environment, very sensitive, he had to be or he would have been gone a long time ago. The line of his shoulders had stiffened considerably, and Roy could see the golden boy's head moving just slightly. The eyebrow tick. Nervous tendencies came from nervy people, especially Edward Elric, king of pacing and _'what are you looking at?'_.

Maes broke in, effectively killing the tension in the air. "I give him an A for effort, but too much silence can kill you."

Roy chuckled and resumed folding towels, and Anderson simply smiled and scooted the magnifying glass a little more to the right of the letter. Ed's shoulders relaxed.

"You know him, Maes. He's one-tracked," the colonel replied, watching for a reaction out of the corner of his eye. If Ed was even listening to the exchange between them, he didn't show it.

"And he should listen to adults," Anderson chuckled, swapping the magnifying glass for one of a stronger magnification.

"He should," Roy murmured, placing another folded towel onto his growing mountain. "But he really is too stubborn."

"'He' is sitting right here, thank you," Ed muttered dryly, refusing to look over his shoulder and give each one of the beings an icy stare. He tightened the hold on the blanket around his shoulders. Anderson cracked another smile and Hughes broke into a full out grin, but neither man took their eyes away from the work set out before them. Roy couldn't find it within him to smile at the comment like the other two officers; it was difficult to do anything but to want to wrap his arms around Ed and give him the comfort he needed. But Anderson was an honest man, very loyal to the state, and held close by the higher-ups. Because of this, going anywhere near within the touching zone of Edward Elric was not an option for Roy. Levi was kind beyond what would be expected of anyone, but any sneaking suspicion of fraternization or Roy Mustang bedding with a minor would surely not go over looked.

And Roy respected him for it.

"Mr. Elric?" Anderson questioned.

"Mm," Ed sighed in reply. A sad, beautiful sound, edged with fear and exhaustion. Roy closed his eyes and took a few quiet, deep breaths, forcing the tone out of his mind. He wanted nothing more than to let Edward go upstairs and rest, to take him away from the world and pull all the weight from his shoulders. But it wasn't possible, it wasn't an option.

Levi sat up straight and folded his hands in his lap, putting a smile in place. "Would you like to come over here? I have a few questions that, if you could answer, would be of some help."

Ed turned his head slowly, looking from Roy, to Hughes, and to the coffee table and all of the crime stuff it held. And then the blonde regarded Levi Anderson with a weary stare, plainly telling the man, _'look buddy, I know you want some answers and all, but I have just had a huge shock to my reality, and I just want to take a break from this world for a few fucking hours, okay?'. _After a few seconds of the intimidating gold eye treatment, Ed sighed and began to turn back around to face the window.

"Fullmetal," Roy said lowly, sharply. Ed froze and his eyes flew to Roy's, and Roy knew why. The working name. Edward didn't like the working name, and he made it quite clear in the glare he made especially for Roy. The blonde then continued turning away, shifted around to get comfortable, and fell still.

"Roy," Hughes said, voice low and soft, commanding the Flame's attention. The Lieutenant tapped his lip, studying the Colonel as if he were analyzing a court document. "You know how he works."

Mustang pursed his lips into a flat line, eyes narrowing. "Maes, no."

"Yes, you do," Hughes replied, pointing from Roy, to Ed, back to Roy, and back to Ed. "Out of us, he trusts you the most. Do something."

"It would be of great help, if Lieutenant Hughes is correct," Levi remarked, taking his hands away from his crime stuff for the first time since he'd been there. He sat up straight, his expression hopeful and as clear as day. Roy looked from Hughes, who was still analyzing, to Anderson, who was trying his hardest to look encouraging. The Colonel sighed and rapped himself in the temple twice with his knuckles.

"Would you two be comfortable with leaving the room for a moment? Hughes, you know where the study is."

Maes's face broke into a huge grin as he pushed himself off of the couch. Anderson followed suit, brushing off his uniform and standing rim rod straight. Hughes led the way, and soon both he and Anderson disappeared down the hall. Roy waited patiently until he heard the _click_ of a door handle, and then he turned to Edward.

The afternoon sun was shining straight in through the windows, bathing most of the great room in a beautiful orange-yellow glow. It glimmered and glinted off of the IV stand, turning the fluid inside the tube a sparkling gold. Roy could feel his face soften as his view settled onto the small form wrapped inside the fluffy coverlet, and he scooted across the couch until he was settled beside the arm on which Edward rested.

"Hey," the older alchemist whispered, laying a pale hand on the teenager's back. He could feel the muscles tense and jump, could feel each wavering breath that the boy took in. "What's wrong?"

Ed refused to answer, instead opting to tuck his head into the blanket and then fell very still. Roy waited patiently, not lifting his hand from Edward's posterior, and began to rub in soothing circles. He could feel the breath, large but quiet, that the boy took in.

"This just...it all just sucks," Ed whispered, voice nearly cracking at the end of the sentence. He lifted his head out of the blanket and placed a hand over his eyes. "I'm so tired, Roy."

Roy carefully peeled the blanket away from the Fullmetal, not bothering to pull it out from underneath the young alchemist in case of causing him to fall. The Flame slipped his arms underneath Ed's and lifted, struggling slightly against the automail's weight, but managing to pick him up nonetheless. Edward squirmed and whined quietly, but otherwise didn't fight the constraints Roy had placed on him. The dark-haired man settled the adolescent into his lap, enveloping the small body within his arms and holding him.

"I know it sucks, Edward. And I am very sorry. But this is about your brother. We need your help," Roy murmured, laying his head on his subordinate's shoulder.

"I know."

"A year ago, you would be doing everything as quickly as possible. What's wrong?"

Edward sat quietly for a few moments, shifting his weight around to get more comfortable. He cautiously leaned back into Roy, his back to the man's chest. "It's such a shock. I didn't expect anything," he whispered hoarsely, blinking rapidly. "It's been awhile, Mustang. I thought that anything that hadn't been found already didn't exist."

"What can I do to make it easier?" The blue-eyed colonel questioned, leaning his head onto Ed's, who leaned right back. The boy began to fiddle with Roy's left hand fingers with his right hand, tickling the tips, tracing the fine bones, and then finally desperately lacing their fingers together. Edward began to shiver and shake, sniffing and whimpering, the tear drops landing on the Colonel's hand and wrist.

"I'm sorry," Roy murmured into the mass of blonde hair, hugging Edward tighter, trying to soothe the young Fullmetal into calmness. When the sobs began, they were hushed, and stayed hushed, but they still ripped tangible holes into Roy's heart. "I'm so sorry, Ed."

* * *

Roy gestured to the boy with his head to Anderson, and the man smiled and nodded.

"So, Mr. Elric, what began this find?" Levi questioned, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. Roy angled his face towards Ed in a way that still gave him an accessible view to Hughes, who was looking on skeptically and might open his mouth and ruin the moment. The Colonel would not have any such thing. It seemed like ages before Ed, who had taken back his spot on the arm of the couch, turned his head begrudgingly toward Levi, expression flat and voice toneless.

"Hughes and Colonel Mustang went to my apartment a couple days back and brought a bunch of my shit here," he informed the man bluntly. Roy couldn't help but smile, and neither could Hughes.

As it turned out, neither could Anderson, who smiled and nodded, pleased. "And what prompted the collecting of your items?"

"Hughes mentioned that he'd like some more current pictures of my…of my brother." Ed turned away, studying the backyard or perhaps the pictures resting on the mantle, it was hard to tell. The three adults were quiet, and Roy picked up another towel and started to fold. "I thought that I could get some pictures, and maybe find something else."

The Northerner nodded a second time, raising a finger to tap his lip. "So this letter was found on a hunch?"

Ed took a deep breath, but Roy couldn't make out any movements from his point of view. "Yes, Sir."

Levi leant forward even more, face as serious as day, even though he knew the Fullmetal would not see. He was such an honest man, offering himself up like an open book whether someone was looking or not. Roy envied him. "And you did not write this letter yourself, and/or tamper with the letter in any way?"

"Fuck no!" Ed snapped, turning around so fast that Roy was surprised the boy didn't find the floor. Levi raised an eyebrow, and the adolescent hesitated before adding in, "Sir."

The russet-haired man smiled and chuckled softly, visibly easing the tense alchemist. "You can stop calling me 'Sir', Mr. Elric. It is just Levi. Or if you are more comfortable with Anderson, I would prefer that as well."

Ed, unsure if his words were a test or not, briefly looked to Roy for a sign. The colonel went on folding his laundry, which was easy to deal with, and ignored the pint-sized blonde, who was more often than not a thorn in his side. Hesitantly, Edward turned back to Anderson and gave a small smile in return, nodding. "Then I'm Ed."

"Good, good. Now, if you would, show me where you have touched the letter. I am going to outline them on the plastic."

"I didn't touch it with my flesh hand," Ed informed the Lieutenant, who looked up in slight confusion. The blonde stuck his automail hand out of the blanket and waved sheepishly, the metal glinting in the lamp light and reflecting the items around them. Realization flashed itself across Anderson's face, and he gave a small laugh.

"Ah, oh yes, please do excuse me. Your automail had very much slipped my mind." He scribbled something on to the report, then looked back up. "Metal picks up oil and debris. Did you clean your hands before handling the evidence?"

Roy observed Ed as the blonde sighed audibly and dropped his head to stare at the floor. At the point of the sigh, Edward had also attracted the attention of Anderson, who looked on intently. After another sigh, Edward half heartedly placed his feet on the floor, learning down to place the blanket under his feet. He stood, waddled around to the couch front while dragging the IV stand along, and plopped down next to Roy. "Want me to show you where I touched it?"

Levi smiled. "That would be great."

The man gingerly slid the letter across the coffee table, where Ed picked it up and handled it with more care than one would practice while holding a baby. The blonde remained fully encased within the coverlet, but still managed to hold the letter with one hand and trace down the left and right edges. "Mainly just around here," he told the Lieutenant, leaning forward to place the page back onto the table.

"Are you absolutely positive?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Do you have finger prints from your brother?"

The blonde nodded his confirmation.

"Would it be possible for me to get ahold of them?"

"Of course," the golden alchemist replied, furrowing his eyebrows. He sat in thought for a few moments, before looking up to the Flame Alchemist. "Mustang?"

"They're in the kitchen. I'll go get them," Roy affirmed, pushing himself off of the cream colored sofa. He walked around to the back of the couch so as not to disturb Edward, who had seemingly already forgotten his request. As Anderson spoke and pointed to a paper, Roy could tell Edward had completely thrown himself into what he had earlier refused to do.

The older alchemist smiled at the sight. "Sure, you answer _his_ questions," he teased, padding on past the couch, Maes hot at his heels.

Ed looked up, a character of annoyance written across his features as he followed the Colonel's movement. "_His_ questions are relevant to the situation," Edward retorted, placing his hand pointedly on the documents laid out on the table.

Roy made a face before disappearing into the kitchen with Hughes.

The blonde felt Levi's probing eyes staring at him, so he looked up and raised an eyebrow. When he got no response and only patient eyes, he ventured further with a, "Can I help you?"

The man's face broke into an amused smile. "All questions deserve an answer," Anderson said, eyeing the teenager ruefully. Ed leered back.

"Not with the way he asks it. Like he's set on repeat or something," the blonde replied, crossing his arms. Anderson looked up from the letter, magnifying glass midair as he fixed Ed in that persistent green gaze. The lights of the ornamental tree behind Ed twinkled and shone within Levi's eyes, giving him an almost Armstrong look, but without the over musculature and shirt ripping.

"I take it you mean he asks one question over and over? Then it is obviously important." Ed looked at the man quizzically, and Levi paused, looking over at the young alchemist. "What other reason would the colonel keep trying to get an answer for? He is taking a risk of you becoming angry or annoyed with him. Maybe you do not know how much it means for _him_ to know."

"What if he doesn't need to know?" Ed questioned, narrowing his eyes.

"Ah. One of those." The man tapped his chin with the marker, eyes seeming to examine and make sense of Ed's expression. "Then give it to him in a way that makes sense without really having to say it. I mean, he may not get it, but at least you will have given him a chance!"

Ed's golden eyes softened, meeting jade green. "But what if he gets it?"

"Then that is one less thing for the both of you to worry over, I would say." Levi flipped the letter over and held it up to the light, getting a good look at the back of the piece of paper. "The answer is a piece of very important information to you, is it not?"

Ed watched as Anderson uncapped the permanent marker, carefully outlining the area where the letter had been touched. "Maybe."

Anderson paused in his actions, shooting the Fullmetal a concerned gaze. "With the way you are worrying yourself, I would say 'definitely'."

Ed rubbed his forehead with an open palm, stopping when his hand covered his eyes. He took in a shuddering breath and let it out in a sigh. "What if he gets angry? Or worries? Or gets disgusted with me?"

"Hm. If you have three or more 'what ifs', Edward, you are very much thinking too hard. I know you alchemists are very analytical by nature, but you need to learn to trust your instincts every now and then." Anderson laid the letter back onto the table, and picked up a magnifying glass. "In the end, it is up for your jurisdiction. But do not let me be the one to tell you what might have been!" Anderson laid down his magnification glass, and held the letter horizontal to his eyes so he could see the plastic.

"You're some help," Ed grumbled, leaning forward and resting his chin on his palm. The alchemist and the investigator sat in silence, the alchemist from seeing nothing from his point of view, and the investigator from seeing everything. But what the alchemist did see was the investigator's facial expressions change like rapid fire; surprise, confusion, worry.

"I am not completely convinced that I am correct," Anderson murmured slowly, catching the attention of Roy and Hughes, who had found Al's finger prints right away, but who had also been attempting to eavesdrop. They came to stand in the doorway, Roy with his hands in his pockets, and Hughes leaning on the door frame, Alphonse's finger prints in hand. Their shadows cast long and dark in the afternoon light, reaching past the couch on which Edward was seated. The boy looked up to Roy, and then back to Levi.

"I'm not following," Ed murmured back, brows furrowing as Anderson laid the letter onto the chocolate colored coffee table.

The lieutenant sighed in the first hint of frustration that had come from him during his visit. "I mean that, although a magnifying glass is not a proper way to see finger prints, I am having difficulty seeing anything. Normally I am able to see the signs of a finger print here or there, especially when the evidence is in plastic. But I see nothing."

"So what does that mean?" Roy questioned, entering the room a few steps and stopping again. Hughes stayed leaning against the door frame, and as Roy turned back to look at him, he saw it all in Maes' worried frown.

"It could mean a variety of things." Anderson leaned over and began to collect the pages and pages of papers before him, gently sticking them into several file folders. He had a small smile as he worked. "But I would prefer to take this letter back to the lab, if you do not mind. I do not want to attempt for finger prints in an non-sterile environment."

"Y-yeah," Ed stammered, scratching his head, looking up at Roy. The colonel raised and lowered his shoulders, the gesture and his worried face worrying Ed in return. The adolescent turned his gaze to Anderson once again, trying to hide the rising nervousness within him.

"May I have your permission to enter the apartment as well? We are not going there to snoop, I can assure you. This was a private investigation from the moment of Colonel Mustang's call." Levi tucked the folders into his green canvas bag, pausing to redirect his view back to Edward.

Ed, numb from what Roy couldn't comprehend, simply nodded his answer. Anderson's bright eyes softened more, if at all possible, and he tilted his head to the side. "Edward." The blonde looked up gradually, looking tired, feeling drained, and not feeling as if he had to hide _that_ information from anyone.

The Lieutenant gave him an extremely somber once over, searching his eyes for any sign of something the Fullmetal wouldn't be willing to tell him. "If you know of any other areas where we may find clues to your brother, please, do let us know. Anything would be a help."

Ed nodded, and that was that. The Lieutenant sighed, and stood, draping the satchel over his shoulder. "I apologize that our time must be cut so short. There is very little I can do here for results." He straightened his back and saluted Roy. The Colonel smiled and waved him off.

"It's perfectly understandable, Lieutenant. Pleasure to have you."

"Thank you, Sir," Anderson said, leaning down and packing his crime stuff into a new cardboard box. Brushes, magnifying glasses, and all of the various instruments that were never used disappeared with the guidance of Levi's unwavering hands.

"So what happens now?" Ed questioned, leaning back on the couch and pulling the blanket around his shoulders.

"I will take this letter back to the lab, hopefully pull some prints, and we will run the prints through our criminal database. We will check to see if they are your brothers' prints first, of course. I will give you a call as soon as I possibly can, and if all goes well, we will be looking for you to expect that call in a few days' time." The tall man finished his packing swiftly, tucking the flaps of the box into one another to create a closed top.

"Good bye, Anderson. Thanks for all of your help," Ed said, saluting from his place on the couch. "I would stand, but my legs are killing me."

"Do not worry about it Edward," the brown haired man chuckled, saluting the teenager right back. "I am just glad I could be able to be of some assistance."

Maes stepped forward and carried out his own salute, bright blue uniform contrasting sharply against Roy's lightly colored walls. The First Lieutenant snapped the gesture back a second or so later. Maes nodded and lowered his hand, and Anderson followed suite. "Levi, I'll be following shortly. I'm going to stay here for a bit longer and copy these finger prints for your use."

"Of course. Do stop by the lab once you arrive."

Hughes grinned. "Can do."

Levi gave a final salute to each of the other men in the room before opening the front door, stepping out, and closing it. Behind the stained glass window, his figure looked deformed as it walked across the porch and began to descend down the steps.

Roy had a sudden feeling he was forgetting something, so sudden that he found himself pulled across the foyer before he could figure out what he was doing. He came to a stop before the door, eyes struggling to focus on Levi's form, which had just begun to reach the middle step. The dark haired man ran his hand along the brass door knob, and then it hit him.

"Hey Bastard, where are you going?" Ed hollered from the great room, and Hughes seconded Edward's question with a perceptive expression of his own.

"I'll only be a moment," Roy called out, opening the front door and stepping out into the winter air before he could change his mind.

"First Lieutenant!" Roy called from the top of the porch, nearly slipping down onto the steps. The big black military boots he wore, although nice to look at, were of very little use in any weather but dry.

Anderson stopped with no hesitation, turning and standing at attention as best as he could with a box in his hands. He nodded, the silver on his hat shining with the movement of his head. "Sir. What may I do for you?"

Roy raised a hand and smiled. "I just wanted to…thank you for all of your help, Lieutenant."

"It has been not a problem, Sir," Anderson responded, smiling and looking genuinely pleased at the Colonel's words.

Roy ran a hand through his hair, not quite sure of what he should say next. "Edward really...needed this. It's a relief," he expressed, stumbling a bit to find the fitting words.

Anderson paused on the middle step, turning to regard Roy with an inquisitive expression. "Have you ever owned a dog, Colonel?"

Roy stared in surprise at the question. "No. I haven't."

The lieutenant smiled and nodded slowly. "Dogs are a lot smarter than you think. They are wired, they are _programmed_, to survive. They will do anything to stay alive." He took a deep breath, nodding inside where Ed could be seen staring out the living room window. "When in a pack and weakness is shown, the weak one will be killed so as not to endanger the rest of the pack. Consequently, most dogs still hide their pain so as not to look weak. It makes them feel safe."

The Flame raised an eyebrow, shifting his eyes over to the investigator. "Are you comparing my subordinate and me to canines, Lieutenant?"

Anderson turned and started down the gray walkway, stopping midway and simply smiling over his shoulder. "I might be giving you an answer you've been looking for." He brought his right hand to his forehead, saluted one last time, and continued to walk to the car awaiting his departure.

* * *

Ed chuckled softly, leaning into the colonel as they watched the man be driven away. Roy looked down and quirked an eyebrow.

"Would you like to share?" He asked, smoothing a hand over the blonde's soft bangs.

Ed smiled, shaking his head. "It's nothing. He's full of a lot of something. But I like him."

Roy put on a serious face and looked down to meet Ed's eyes. The blonde kept smiling. "He's got one hell of a head on his shoulders. He's solved a good fifth of our cold cases, you know."

Ed shrugged. "I wouldn't doubt it." The smile slipped as a more somber expression took over. "Hughes has kept him hidden pretty well, I'd say."

The older man gave him a quizzical look, eyebrow raised. "What do you mean?"

The adolescent fought a smile, but the corners of his lips managed to pull themselves up. "Don't play dumb. That Anderson, he's from Drachma."

Roy sighed and ran a hand through his hair, nodding his affirmative. "Yes. Yes he is."

Edward's eyes softened as he looked back out the window. The sky looked ready to rain, or snow, or whatever form of bitter cold the weather would throw at them. "He's a good man," the boy murmured.

"He's that, too," Roy agreed, ruffling the downy blonde hair on Edward's head. The boy looked up at him inquisitively, cocking his head to the side.

"What were you two talking about out there?" He asked.

"You mean you couldn't hear anything through the window?"

"Nope," Edward almost chuckled, hardly able to stop himself at the end of the word.

"Good. I paid extra for the sound-proof ones," the dark haired man replied, cracking a smile when Edward's own turned into a frown.

They stood in silence for a moment, studying the view of the large front yard. Nothing had changed from moments ago, aside from a split ray of sunshine that managed to break through. The orange light angled down and lit a small area on the sidewalk, lingering for a moment before disappearing.

Ed, realizing that he wasn't going to get an answer, leaped into another query. "Why did Hughes and you look so worried?"

Roy stroked his chin, shooting the boy an aggravated look. "Why am I always the one answering your questions, hm?" He murmured, reaching out the same hand and running it down Edward's cheek. The adolescent leaned into the comforting gesture; his face was full of innocence, and Roy felt himself giving in before the words left his mouth. "It's difficult, Ed."

"What is?" Said Elric whispered into the Flame's hand, voice muffled and carrying the tone of defeat.

Roy took a deep breath, averting his piercing gaze out the window. Snow and slush, white and gray. Good and bad, up and down, bittersweet. "Anderson is very talented. This is the work he was meant to do. What other people don't find, he does. But what he can't find…"

"Nobody can find," Ed finished. He could feel his hope tripping down a few rungs before barely catching on, right above rock bottom. His golden eyes fell to his feet, the shiny cherry hardwood, the wood work, and the milk-coffee colored walls. He nodded and sighed. "Well, damn. This sucks."

"Nothing but the waiting game," Roy affirmed, intending for the words to be comforting, not the smart-ass way Ed seemed to take most comments directed toward him. The boy, although he was not looking at the Colonel, rolled his eyes. Roy's, in turn, narrowed, and he caught Edward underneath the chin and lifted his face. Frail and white and glaring all described the Fullmetal, so beautiful against a bright gold frame.

"It'll be okay, Ed," he declared, releasing the blonde's chin and tapping him on the nose.

"Knock it _off_," Edward growled, swatting and grabbing at the man's annoyance of a hand. As soon as he had a secure hold on the offensive limb, all he could manage was an _'eep!'_ before he found himself stuck within the hug of a Mustang.

"Someday we're going to look back on this and think 'how silly of us, the answer was here all along'." The older alchemist frowned when Ed peeled himself away and threw a half smile of over his shoulder. The Colonel attempted to place a hand on Edward's shoulder, but he slipped just out of Roy's reach.

"Where are you going?"

The blonde gave a small laugh and _thud-thudded_ his way out of the foyer and to the entry of the hallway. He then stopped and peeked around the corner, back at Roy. "Gotta pee, Ma." He leaned his head back just a bit further, smile fading.

"Please, Edward," Roy muttered dryly, but he stepped forward and accepted the boy's offered lips anyway. Ed then continued on his way, slipping down the hall so carefully that he didn't make a sound. As the colonel watched Edward's golden head disappear into the bathroom, he couldn't help but feel something was off.

He shook his head, attributing the feeling to how long of a day it had been, and turned toward the great room. He sauntered in and leaned onto the couch, elbows folded and head buried into his arms. "Sometimes, Hughes, I wonder why my life has taken such a turn."

"Don't we all," the First Lieutenant murmured, looking up from tracing Alphonse's finger prints. "So what was up with Edo?" He questioned. Dark blue eyes looked up to meet Hughes'. The man cocked his head to the side, eyebrows raised, awaiting an answer.

Several moments of silence fell between them, and Roy slowly raised his head. "You're serious?"

"Come on now Roy, when am I ever not serious?" Maes laughed.

Roy stood up straight, placing both hands on the couch and fixing his friend with a stern stare. "Maes," he said, catching said man's attention. "What do you mean?"

"Did he get cold or something?" The other man asked, tapping his chin. "He had that coat and his boots on, like he was ready to go somewhere."

Roy froze and his mouth went dry.

Shit.


	14. Chapter 14: Same

**A/N:** Ole!

**Special thanks to:** narutonarutolove, Dream Theme, Kittens-Are-Fluffy, Kris, UnluckyTeddyBear13, TehDonutSecks, Pseudoephedrine, Chiisai., Qualyn, Atsuko Uehara, Mysterious Daughter Of Sparda, .Yumi, Meyham, TheSlashBunny, animefangirlNoriko, SkyChasingDreamer, Fullmetal Angyl, Psycho Anime, DanielDeathnote, PutThatAway, DunTouchIt, Mama Muse, Hawk Cold Eyes, and foreverforgotten5 (yay you're back!). Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 14:** Same

Roy later figured he was so used to seeing Edward in his coat and boots that it had been no different this time. And Ed had planned on it.

After kicking in the bathroom door (he would make the damn brat fix it later, oh yes he would), Roy's mind took exactly half a second to fling himself across the room and latch his arms around Edward Elric's body. Which would have, if given another half a second, been out the window and off to God knows where.

The blonde gave a surprised yelp and a lurch, kicking off the wall under the window he had just been forced away from and nearly throwing them both to the hard tiled floor. But Roy managed to deter them to the right and into the neighboring wall, taking their breath away with two low '_oomphs_'.

They both stood there for a long moment, Roy's arms around Ed, Ed leaning into the strong body behind him, and each trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Being more accustomed to hand-to-hand combat, the blonde made quick work of ducking out Mustang's restraint. When Roy felt the slide of fabric against his arms, he gripped it to hold the teenager to him. Ed easily slipped out of his coat and took a mad dive towards the door, but it proved to be in vain.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Roy shouted, grabbing the back of Ed's shirt and pulling him back. "What the _hell_ are you doing?"

"Don't ask," Ed answered with a wheeze, struggling weakly against the Colonel's strong grip. He was very intent on escaping out that window, and the older man vaguely wondered why he hadn't just alchemized his way through the wall.

"Edward." Roy's voice was quick and low, and Ed vaguely compared the tone to Hawkeye's when Black Hayate got into the trash. He jerked himself away from Roy's grip, and began to make a slow trek toward the door, feet dragging and muscles aching.

"I'll be back. In a couple hours," the blonde said breathlessly, determined to shuffle himself away before the Colonel could catch him. But of course the bastard wasn't as old as Ed had hoped, and soon an iron grip had snagged his wrist, but didn't pull back. The grip followed.

"You aren't leaving," Roy stated as the adolescent opened the door and limped out into the hall, boots thudding on the hardwood. Pictures and tiny mirrors passed by slowly as Roy matched the boy's lethargic pace. It was difficult; his body was still full of adrenaline, and Roy found himself shaking with every step. "You can't."

Edward, who was very intent on not staying within the boundaries of the Mustang estate, didn't bother to look back. "Says who?" They were almost to the end of the hallway now, and bright lamp light lit up golden and obsidian eyes.

Roy's brow furrowed, and the depthlessness of his voice was undeniable. "Me."

"And what power is that?" Ed snarled, legs fighting to speed up into what would almost be considered a normal walk.

Hughes, who had grown curious at the commotion, had to remove himself from the hallway access in fear of being run over by the stampeding tortoises. He stood to the side as they passed, and green met black; green quirked an eyebrow, and black pursed its lips and shook its head. The Lieutenant mimicked his expression and went to have himself a seat at the couch again; settling in for the long haul of watching what may turn into an interesting show.

Before the two alchemists could reach the foyer, Roy jerked his hand up, effectively spinning Edward to face him and holding him captive with an automail arm up in the air. He leaned in close, so close Ed could smell him, and why did the bastard have to do that when he knew how much Ed liked that smell? The bastard, if he noticed, didn't show it. "Until the doctor signs off that you have a clean bill of health, you are assigned, by the state, under my guardianship." The Flame pulled Ed's wrist higher, earning a hiss from the boy but effectively keeping his attention. "You have no right to leave."

Brilliant golden eyes lit with fire, and Edward glared at Roy for a full five seconds before dropping his feet out from under him. The sudden dead weight of the young alchemist caused Roy to lurch forward, and he released the boy's arm to stay standing. Edward landed neatly on his feet before stomping from the room into the living room. He returned moments later, breathing haggard, carrying one of the boxes they had been going through the day before.

"Here!" Ed shouted. He slammed the box down on the coffee table, directly in front of Hughes, which made the older man jump. "Al's clothes, his pictures, the letters he used to send me, everything! Check his tattoo, his scars, his eyes! Every damn fucking thing you have in that file!"

Roy approached slowly, hand held out. "Edward, calm d-"

"Don't you dare!" Ed shrieked, whipping out a finger to point at Roy. "Don't you _dare_ tell me to calm down!"

Roy then held both hands in the air and took a step back, but the absoluteness of his expression didn't fade. "Why not? You're upset and you're stressing your body."

"And you won't fucking let me go!"

"Where will you go, Ed? Where on _Earth_ would you need to go at a time like this?"

"Were you in a fucking coma? Or has everything that's happened today gone right over your fucking head?"

Roy felt a sigh coming on, but held it back. "Neither, Edward. I would just prefer that you don't leave the house in a zipped bag, if you don't mind."

"That. Wasn't. Funny." Ed growled, snapping each word at the end like a rubber band.

"I wasn't trying to be. I was being serious," the Colonel informed, making a point of the teenager's condition. He was still breathing like he had just competed in a marathon consisting of nothing but hills and mud, his chest heaving with every painful intake of breath. As if to prove the point, Edward laid a hand on his chest, but his gaze never left Roy's.

"I don't get how you're so calm," the Fullmetal accused, eyeing the Colonel with piercing daggers.

"I'm calm because someone has to be," Roy replied coolly, fixing the blonde in his persistent dark stare.

The boy's eyes flashed again, dangerous with venom. "_Nobody_ needs to be calm." Roy took in Ed's stance. Muscles tense, molten eyes murderous, and god, he was breathtaking. And Roy knew that if he didn't find something to distract the teen, his thoughts would become literal. By this point, Ed could pack a strong punch. So Roy took a deep breath, mentally crossed his fingers, and prayed that Anderson was right.

"Why are you so scared?"

Ed started. And for a brief moment, Roy saw through the mesmerizing anger in those golden eyes. Surprise. Surprise and _fear_.

_'Bingo.'_

"W-what?" Ed stammered, wide-eyed and clenching his metal fist.

"Why," Roy said, drawing the word out, "are you so scared?"

Ed scowled and furrowed his brow. "I'm not sc-"

Roy could feel his own anger and irritation rising. "_Don't._ Don't lie to me. Not again," he commanded, squaring his shoulders to match such a strong tone.

"I'm not afraid of anything," Edward replied, shaking his head. He placed his hands on the box full of his brother's personal effects, roughly gripping the edges of the cardboard. "You're looking for something that isn't there."

"Am I, Ed? Or are you?"

"What the hell are you even talking about?" The adolescent demanded, voice shrill. He returned his gloved hands to his sides, balling them into fists.

"What have you been looking for since the morning of the ball, when you had that nightmare? You still haven't found it." Roy took several steps forward, watching as Edward bristled and in turn took several steps back.

"I don't need to you tell me what I'm doing, Mustang."

"Then why don't _you_ tell _me, _if I'm so wrong?"

"Because he's _my_ brother. You didn't _own_ him," Edward hissed, his troubled expression turning into a scowl.

Roy crossed his arms and raised a dark eyebrow. "And neither did you."

"You know what I meant," Ed snapped, shoving his fists into his trench coat pockets, and lowering his lightly colored head. The thick blonde braid fell over his shoulder, brushing up against his cheek. "Let me do what I need to do, Roy," he pleaded quietly, studying the hardwood floor, which looked much friendlier than the Colonel.

"You just can't admit that you need help. For _once_ in your life, you know that you _honestly_ need help, and you won't take it! And dammit, Ed, we _want_ to help you, we really do, but you _aren't _letting us. You're playing the part of a_ child_. And I am sorry to be the one to tell you, but you gave up being a child when you sold yourself to the State. You are an adult, and if you ever loved your brother, then you'll act like it," Roy rebuked, voice rising as each sentence left him.

"Get. The fuck. Out." Edward spat, teeth bared as if he were some sort of animal.

"Anderson," the Flame said, turned on his heel and walking across the great room to the stairs, "was right about you." He knew the words were cryptic to Edward, but he was past caring. He took the gray carpeted stairs one at a time, mind boiling from the verbal battle. _'But you're not a dog. You're still just a puppy.'_

The blonde boy watched him go, muscles still rigid with discomfiture. He shook his head slowly, eyes still focused at the top of the stairs where Roy had turned a corner and disappeared. "Damn him." He kept his point of view for a moment longer until the penetrating eyes upon him became too much. He turned to face Hughes, golden eyes so fierce that the older man almost felt a backhand to his face. "What?"

Hughes sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't agree with how he worded it, Ed. But that's Roy, and he's right. From the very beginning, we knew you'd been hiding something. You always do," Hughes answered simply.

"I'm not _hiding_ anything," Edward insisted.

Hughes raised an eyebrow, but otherwise kept his face poker perfect. "Ed."

They stood, Edward staring at the fair colored walls and the dark haired man staring at him. Eventually Edward looked up, debilitation written in his eyes. "Hughes…I -"

The lieutenant held up a hand, turning his face to the side. "No, I'm not the one who you need to talk to."

Edward sighed, looking up to the stairs and the long dark hallway he knew was waiting for him. "I know." He took a deep breath, scratching the back of his head before turning to Hughes. "I need you to do something for me. I can't-" He paused, pursing his lips and letting his hand fall to his side. The boy rarely saw Maes this serious, and it was a bit hard to adjust to. Ed took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I can't do this by myself."

Hughes leaned down to pick up the box of Al's things, carefully tucking in the flaps. He smoothed the top flat and patted it, looking over to Edward. "Is it about where you were headed?"

Ed nodded stiffly, clearly unsettled about having to give the information to anyone, but knowing he had to. "Yeah. I think it might have something to do with what's been happening."

* * *

Roy laid on the couch his library.

Roy laid on the couch in his library, on his back.

Roy laid on the couch in his library, on his back, arm over his face.

And he could hear the clock ticking, the front door open and close, the weak footsteps that attempted to climb the stairs.

He could hear them, but he was too busy in thought to care.

What did Ed think he was going to do? Leave without a trace? Investigate on his own? And in his _condition?_

It was preposterous. Not to mention irresponsible and irrational, which all seemed to share equal room as Edward's middle name. The golden teenager couldn't find it in himself to listen to adults, to obey adults, to _trust_ adults. And that lack of trust, Roy thought grimly, could someday be the death of Edward Elric. _'Not maniacs with blades, scarred men with tattoos, soldiers with guns, but _distrust.'

Roy took in a deep breath, goose bumps crawling down his arms.

It _would_ be maniacs with blades. Scarred men with tattoos. Soldiers with guns. Because the distrust would lead the alchemist right to them.

If the disease didn't get him first.

It was the times like these, when Edward lashed out and fought the holds of reality and those who wanted to help, that Roy doubted the risky relationship they had so recently begun. The boy was sixteen years old. The boy. _Boy._ Roy very well remembered his brother being sixteen, and the mere _thought_ of learning Adam to be in a relationship with a man almost twice his age made him cringe internally. It was _wrong_. And it was illegal for a reason.

Roy felt the teenager's presence before he heard the metallic _clink_ on the wooden floor outside of the study. Hesitation. Another shuffled foot fall and clink.

So be it. Let the boy come, see if he cared.

The footsteps lacked the telltale clink as Edward advanced to the thick gray carpet of the study. The only sound Roy could make out were the creaks of synthetic muscle and the soft click of metal on metal. The older man judged that Edward had gotten no farther than the first bookshelf before he ceased movement.

"I need to talk to you." The voice was hushed, raspy in texture, as if Edward had been fighting off tears.

Roy didn't answer. Arm draped over his face, he lay unmoving and unresponsive. The silence stayed for a minute or more, lingering in a fashion that reminded to two alchemists of the distance between them.

"I'm sorry I treated you the way I did. It wasn't right."

Roy took in a great breath of air, letting it out in a sigh. He moved his arm to lie up, leaning on the back of the couch, but kept his view on the ceiling. "I know, Edward. But there are times where I wish I could see your thoughts. Because then, maybe, everything would make so much more sense than it does now."

The blonde teenager lowered his head, bangs falling to cover his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"What if you had gotten hurt? Or had some sort of attack? We would have had no idea where to start looking," Roy seethed, punching the back of the couch. "You could have died out there. You are _not_ invincible, Ed."

Edward flinched and lowered his head even further in shame, shoulders hunching forward. "I know."

"I really don't think you do," the man whispered harshly, blue eyes carrying a dirty look. Roy adjusted his arm to lay behind his head. He settled into the position comfortably, and then proceeded to stare at the ceiling in silence.

The boy, still studying the light gray carpet, shuffled through the library. Past a table, past a smaller table, past a chair, and past many book cases. Ed then lowered his weight onto the edge of the olive colored couch, pulling his legs up and carefully laying up against Roy. The man laid his chin on Edward's head, inhaling the scent of his young subordinate and sighed. Ed mimicked the action, and Roy felt the frail rise and fall of the teenager's chest.

"D'you want to know what I'm thinking right now?" Edward whispered, laying his automail arm across the older alchemist's torso. Roy shivered at the contact, icy through his simple t-shirt, but he made no move to pull away.

"Anything," he replied, soft and tired. He reached over with the arm he didn't have behind his head, and pushed Edward's golden bangs away from his face. They lay there for a minute or two, Roy patiently waiting for the boy to speak, and Edward patiently waiting for his mind to swallow its pride.

"I miss my brother," Ed stated bluntly, words quick. Roy's breath caught in his throat in surprise, but Ed still continued, his thoughts tumbling out. "Everything, every little thing I did, move I made, it was all for him." His voice was fragile and sad, but unbreakable. He ran his flesh hand down Roy's side and to his hip, then back up to wrap around Roy's middle. "You know why we burned down our house? It's so that when things got too hard, or too scary, we didn't have a safe place to go back to. We_- I,_ had no choice but to keep moving forward."

Edward moved his arm again, holding the glinting automail up for Mustang to see. "You know why I always wore gloves? It wasn't to hide this; it was because if Alphonse couldn't feel, then neither could I." He laid his arm back down again, but by this time it had begun to warm up, and didn't cause the Flame a chill. For the first time, he looked down at the boy, whose jaw was working as he struggled with the next sentence. "Winry read a psychology book once. She told me my immaturity and sarcasm came from trying to cover up my insecurities of humanity. Maybe they _were_. But to me, they were so Al would never worry." The golden alchemist's voice cracked at the last word, and he let go of Roy to massage his temple.

"Remember those nightmares I had?" Ed asked, though it was unecessary and with the way he kept speaking Ed knew it. "I saw my brother dying. He was tortured and he was killed. But then in the second one, then he wasn't killed. He was kept alive." The golden boy paused, brown furrowing as he collected the right vocabulary for what he wanted to say. "I don't think I saw what really happened to Alphonse. But I think I was trying to tell myself he was alive," he explained, frowning. "Anderson told me I needed to learn to trust my instincts. What if I had sooner? Before this letter?"

"Ed..." Roy whispered, laying a hand on the boy's head. "Don't."

The Fullmetal shook his head, moving away from the comforting touch. "What if that letter hadn't existed, what if, all this time, it really has been Al in that grave? I haven't even visited him. I haven't gone to see my own brother. All of my staying away, pretending it didn't happen, it would have been for nothing." Edward's voice broke at the end, but he took several deep breaths to calm his self down. "And I would have finally had to admit what a coward I've been."

Roy's eyes widened. "Is that what you think? That you're a coward?"

"What else would I be?" Edward whispered, looking down at Roy's chest and clearly expecting an affirmative answer.

"Scared," Roy replied simply.

Edward's eyes traveled up, even though he was only met with the underside of Roy's chin. "Were you scared?"

"Ed?" Roy voiced, tilting his head down to look at the boy. Ed averted his eyes to the back of the couch. "I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I hadn't been."

"There's still this part of me that knows he's alive, somewhere. And finding that letter, it makes me feel helpless."

"You can only punish yourself for so long, Ed," Roy whispered, holding his hand out in front of him. Though the wounds on his knuckles had healed, the scars were vivid and needed more time to fade. A dull, dark pink on his fine white skin. "The world keeps going. You aren't atoning for anything you've done wrong; you're simply making yourself miserable. Because in the end, nothing is different." Roy turned his hand palm-up, curling his fingers toward him. "Even so, we all do things."

"My brother is alive, Roy. Somewhere out there, he is alive. And he's hurting. And he's scared. And I'm not where I need to be. I'm not with him," Edward said, the guilt and frustration he felt so clearly stirring in his voice.

Roy sighed and fought to urge to run a hand down his face. "We can't jump to conclusions. We need to make sure that whoever's body they found was your brother's."

"But I know more about Al, I..." Ed trailed off, studying the buttons on Roy's shirt. The older man uttered another sigh.

"I know you want to go and help. But neither of us would do any good sitting in that office, worrying ourselves to death and hovering over Hughes's shoulder. The man knows what he's doing; let him do his job. Yours is to get healthy again."

Ed's chest heaved once as he took in a quick breath, eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah."

"I'll tell you what," Roy mused, pulling his arm out from behind his head and curling it around Ed. "I'll make you a deal."

"What kind of deal?" The teenager inquired, voice muffled.

"All of your secrets that you're hiding, I'll stop bothering you about them."

"Keep talking."

"Answer me one question. And I will let it go. No catch."

Ed, immediately interested, looked up at Roy's chin with wide eyes. "One question?"

Roy smiled down at the boy. "One question."

The golden eyes that he loved to look at got wider, if at all possible. "No catch?"

The man planted a chaste kiss on Ed's nose, breath ghosting across the boy's forehead. "No catch."

Ed slowly rolled around so he was facing the colonel's chest, head tilted back to get a better view of the man's face. "Ask me, and I'll think about it."

Ed knew something was up when the Colonel stopped smiling, but didn't have much of a chance to mull it over. Roy had already begun to blurt out the question, knowing the less time Edward had to analyze his expression, the more likely he would get an answer. "How did you learn to use the Stone?"

The warmness of the air faded, along with Ed's smile. Replaced was a chill, along with soft, sad eyes. Roy regarded them with a blank stare that would have made Falman kneel to him, though Roy would never admit it was one of the hardest things he had to do. To do that to Edward, make him relive and show no remorse for it. But as the blonde took a deep breath to answer, the man felt almost a little less guilty. Almost.

"What's it to you?"

"According to your brother, you did not spend your time researching in the apartment."

"I was in the National Library."

Roy brushed golden bangs away from the youth's face, running fingers down a smooth cheek and cupping Edward's jaw. He forced the boy's face up, forced his light eyes into Roy's dark, and the man had to fight off the strong urge to kiss him. The electricity between their skin was difficult to ignore, and by the look on Ed's face, he could feel it, too. "Don't lie to me, Ed. The log shows no sign of you being there during those months."

Ed fought his gaze downward, lips pursed thin as he refused visual and vocal contact. The colonel's frustration showed in the tense lines of his face, but his eyes softened.

"Why don't you trust me?" The older man whispered, letting his hand slip away from the teenager's face.

"I do trust you."

As soon as the words left his lips, Ed realized how contradictory they were compared to the amount of information he was willing to give to the Colonel, not to mention the situation that had taken place the night before on the beloved living room couch. Roy's eyes slid over to the boy and he raised an eyebrow. Realizing they shared similar thoughts, Ed flushed, his skin turning light pink. "That wasn't a trust issue. That was an 'insecurity with humanity' issue," he mumbled, burying his face into Roy's shirt.

"You know you can trust me with anything," Roy whispered, stroking Edward's shoulders soothingly.

Edward relaxed at the older man's touch, finding a rhythm in the strokes, finding a meaning in them. He turned his head to lie on his left ear, listening to Roy's heart beat, and finding a rhythm in that too. "I was in an old lab. An abandoned one. I thought that, if we stayed hidden well enough, no one would know," he whispered, breath ghosting across the Colonel's thin-t-shirt-covered chest.

Roy's eyebrows rose and he stopped caressing the younger alchemist. "At least until your brother suddenly appeared, flesh and blood."

"Are you taunting me?" Edward demanded, growing tense in a matter of seconds.

"Is that where you were headed?"

"You know it," Ed huffed, shifting a bit.

Roy directed his gaze back down to the teenager, giving him a look. "You knew. All this time, you've known about that place," he said lowly, watching the blonde for any reaction. The only thing he observed was a tightening of the boy's fist, but when was the first ever not ready to punch something out?

"Give me the address," Roy ordered, though his voice had a soft edge to it. "Hughes and his men can go. Just because you're not going doesn't mean things are going to disappear."

"He already has it," Ed replied bluntly. Roy kept the look, staring persistently until the boy sighed. "It's north. Off of 32nd."

Roy's brow softened and his eyes widened. "What were you doing in that part of town?"

"I had to be in Central, Roy. There was no other way. The houses were all abandoned, so we thought it to be the safest place," the blond explained.

Roy gave the boy a troubled look. "Why did you have to be here?"

The Fullmetal sighed and looked away. "It's a long story."

"What is the house number?" Roy questioned, direct in a way that he made the words more of a demand.

The Fullmetal glanced at Roy for a moment, eyes strong and annoyed. He then furrowed his golden brows, frowning. "All I remember is yellow, and it was brick, I believe," he stated, turning away from the sharp dark eyes. "Not many yellow bricked houses off of 32nd," he added.

"How did you not know the house number?"

Ed shrugged, giving the older alchemist a small, self-mocking grin. "Carelessness."

Roy frowned disbelievingly. "You aren't one to make those kinds of mistakes."

Ed suddenly pressed his lips to Roy's, tangling his fingers in the man's hair and pulling him close. Roy responded eagerly, propping himself up on an elbow and wrapping his other arm around Edward's slim waist, neatly tucking the blonde under his right side. Ed tentatively raised his automail hand and pressed it to the back of Roy's neck, noting the delicate huff of breath his significant other gave and the shivers he tried to hide as the kiss lingered and deepened. The blonde parted his lips willingly, and the Flame needed no further invitation. The blood sang drunkenly in their veins as their tongues clashed, tasting and taking as much of each other as they could.

The fire between them was alight, twisting and burning and pooling in their chests and lower stomachs. Edward eventually pulled away, grinning when Roy tried to follow his lips.

"Told you I trusted you," the blonde whispered in a sultry voice, chuckling at the bereft look the colonel gave him. "You just surprised me last time, is all." He untangled himself from Roy's athletic body, which had clung to his small frame and tangled them in a way that he had to fight himself to leave.

"Why don't you ever say anything?" Roy whispered as Edward slid away from him and off of the couch, finding his balance on the thick gray carpet. He leaned his hands on the couch beside the colonel's body, cocking his head to the side as he looked dead on into the older man's eyes.

"You asked me that the day of the dance," Ed murmured in recollection.

"I'd like to know," Roy said, running a pale hand down the teenager's face and neck, stopping right above Edward's heart. The boy frowned and pulled away, backing up a few feet and feeling no remorse for the confused look he was given.

Ed stood there for a moment, hands open palmed in front of his chest, at loss for words for his actions. "Uh, I'm going to go, go to sleep, take a nap," the boy stammered, backing away a few steps.

_"When in a pack and weakness is shown, the weak one will be killed. Consequently, most dogs still hide their pain so as not to look weak. It makes them feel safe."_

Roy laid his arms back over his face. "Put the damn IV in, Edward. And pop a pill or two." He let his arm slide back to his side, getting a view of Edward's back as the teen shuffled away. "And Ed?"

The blonde stopped walking, but did not turn. Roy could make out the line of his lightly trembling shoulders, so he did not verbally push for the boy to face him.

"About that thing you want to leave in the past…?"

The teen turned his head to gaze at Roy over his shoulder. For a few seconds his expression was blank, but then Ed's lips twitched upward in a smile. "Once I asked Al if he hated me for what I'd done. He said the only thing that he could ever hate me for was not following my heart."

"Why are you telling me this?"

The smile from earlier disappeared, leaving sad eyes that the smile had hidden. "Because I'm following my heart. And if you get pissed with me for secrecy, so be it. At least my brother won't hate me."

Roy didn't speak, but instead replaced his arm across his face for the third time. He heard the boy continue his trek across the carpet, past the tables and shelves and chairs. What he did not expect to hear was Edward balk as he reached the door.

"Hey, Roy?"

The colonel let his arm slip away from his face, revealing the beautiful soldier that was Edward Elric, standing by the door, hand raised toward in doorknob, but stopping short in hesitation. The blonde was staring at him, eyes full of worry as he replied to the question he'd never been obligated to answer.

"The thing about the past…it never stays the same."


	15. Chapter 15: It's Frightening

**A/N:** I may be slow, but at least I am consistently slow. Right?

This chapter is dedicated straight to Edward and Alphonse Elric. Today marks the **100th Anniversary** of the day Ed and Al burned their house down. Here's to two very brave boys who gave us an amazing story.

**Special thanks to:** narutonarutolove, CinamonSwirls, FreedomFox, ZemyxDexion, ringobunny, major ed groupie, iheartanime07, Purishirakun, Leigh, Dream Theme, TehDonutSecks, Psycho Anime, DanielDeathnote, PutthatAway, DunTouchIt, Mama Muse, and Hawk Cold Eyes. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

* * *

**Chapter 15:** It's Frightening

_"I got the court order request in just in time. If I hadn't, they probably would have swept the place clean,"_ Hughes said, the usual animation in his voice replaced with a more serious tone.

"Close call, nice work," Roy said, switching the phone to his other hand and leaning his head back on the olive couch.

_"No kidding. It's always good to have a head start."_ The other man paused, and then lowered his voice. _"It's scary to think of how many other places like it there could be out here."_

Roy's eyes narrowed as a shiver went down his spine.

After being told of the yellow bricked house, Hughes had immediately put in a request for a court order. He knew how fast the military would react when they heard about the basement lab, and there was no time to waste. Through the court order, Central's military was alerted and prepared to take action. Sure enough, within an hour after Hughes's request was approved, the little yellow house was a flood of people in masks and suits.

However, under the court order due to Hughes, the Bio Hazard team had to put off cleaning the place up. Hughes had argued that there could be evidence that could be destroyed. Obviously, the judge agreed. And so the basement was left tented, but more or less untouched.

"What was the place like? What condition was it in?" Roy questioned, his mind already filling itself with probable details. His mind's eye saw a cold and dirty lab, white tile turned brown and faded lights offering little to a person's sight. He could just hear Havoc in his mind: _"Chief, it was a hot mess."_

Hughes sighed. _"The house itself was pretty dingy. I really hope that Edward was only there doing labwork, not taking up residence."_ Hughes paused, as if thinking of the best way to put his words. _"The lab in the basement was…worse. It was pretty obvious that it was the reason he got sick. It was dark and dusty as all get out."_

The Flame felt stunned. All this time, he had been feeling the guilt of Edward's sickness on his shoulders. After all, it had been he that had sent the boy off to investigate illegal activities taking place in a laboratory. Although Ed's report had contained nothing coming close to something as dangerous as anthrax, Roy had just assumed. "You mean it wasn't the mission I sent him on?"

_"More than likely, Roy, no."_

"Was there anything left down there?"

_"Honestly, not a whole lot. Which was a big letdown, but at least if there had been something, it wouldn't have been destroyed. The Bio Hazard team said all they found were trace amounts of soil that they took samples of."_ There was a pause on the other end of the line. _"But the house was in strange shape, Roy. All the floors on the main level had been ripped up, and very recently. Judging by the condition of the concrete below, no more than six months ago. And while the basement was in rough shape, you could tell that the concrete had been freshly smoothed out."_

"What could that mean, then? Don't most people removed and dispose of flooring to hide blood?" The colonel questioned, feeling a knot in his stomach tighten. If there was blood involved, it could be one of two persons', and Roy didn't like the odds of who it would be pointing to.

"_Yes, that is one reason,"_ Hughes agreed slowly, acknowledging Roy's theory but clearly having one of his own. _"But blood would have seeped through the flooring and left stains on the main level of the home. After some testing we determined that the concrete under the flooring had not been cleaned to remove any evidence. We then chipped a foot into the concrete downstairs to see if it had been freshly laid, but it hadn't. Someone had tampered with its structure."_

"So while Ed and Al were there they removed flooring and smoothed it out in the basement."

"_It's my best guess, but you can trust I wasn't sharing that assumption with those around me."_

"So they were hiding something," Roy mused quietly. "Any other rooms in the basement? It sounds awfully small for the…type of research and experimentation they were performing."

"_No Sir. The house is very old, doesn't even have closets. My team banged around on the floor looking for any trap doors on the exact hunch that there may be some secrets hidden down there, but nothing."_

"At least we have a lead on how Ed got sick." Roy ran a hand down his face. "But so much for a break in the case."

_"Sometimes you really have to look for the diamond in the rough,"_ Hughes pointed out, and Roy could just sense the smile on the other man's face.

"I'll leave that to you, Hughes," the Flame laughed.

_"Well, I'm beat,"_ Hughes said, yawning loudly. _"I'll give you a call if anything comes up."_

Mustang nodded and stood. "Sounds good." He gently placed the phone in its cradle and stood there for a moment, staring at it.

He left his study and walked down the hall, feet whispering over the dark hardwood. Roy slipped into the master bedroom and shut the door as quietly as possible.

The two lamps, one on each of the bed side tables, were set to the dimmest setting and cast a warm glow throughout the room. The thick maroon comforter absorbed much of the light, causing the golden line to end a couple feet past the end of the bed. Roy could make out the shape of Edward under the covers, curled up in a ball.

The Flame quietly padded over the floor, toward the side of the bed where his love interest lay. He lowered himself to sit beside the sleeping teenager, the bed creaking under his weight. Edward, who was exhausted from the day's activities, didn't even stir.

Roy looked down at the sleeping boy. His blonde hair cascaded over the pillow, beginning to fall loose from its braid. His thumb was perched precariously close to his mouth, and Roy vaguely remembered when Edward had just begun his residential stay. How badly he wanted to touch him, to hold him.

He folded his hands in his lap and sighed heavily.

"I can't even begin to understand you."

* * *

Edward drug himself across the carpet in the great room, past the large windows that sunlight was just beginning to creep through, and into the kitchen. He pulled himself onto one of the dark colored bar stools, looking over to where Roy stood cooking. He was dressed in a plain white tee that showed off his slim figure and black track pants that hung loosely on his hips. Two skillets sizzled on the stove, but due to the Colonel's position Edward couldn't quite tell what they were.

Said older man looked over, taking in the sight of the just recently showered Ed, and smiled. The teenager felt his stomach flutter at the sight.

"Good morning," Roy greeted, looking back down to the skillets and nudging the food around with a spatula.

Edward shook his hair out, running his flesh hand through the long tresses. "Morning." He continued to comb through his hair until he deemed it tangle free, and then stretched, synthetic muscles creaking. "What're we having?" He yawned, separating his damp hair into three sections and beginning to braid it.

Roy pointed to each item with his spatula as he said its name. "Bacon, eggs, toast."

Ed rolled his golden eyes. "I hate eggsh," he said through the ponytail holder he was holding in his teeth. He plucked the band from his mouth and made quick work of banding the end of his long hair. He crossed his arms and laid them on the granite counter top, as if in defiance. The chill of the granite crept through his flesh arm, spreading to his torso and giving him goose bumps.

Roy ignored him. "When you put some cream cheese on the toast and pile everything on, it makes a great sandwich." He laid the spatula on a paper towel beside the stove, opening a cabinet and the refrigerator in one motion.

Ed sighed and laid his chin on his crossed arms. "Whatever you say."

Roy poured a glass of orange juice and set it on the counter in front of Edward. He then plucked up a small medicine cup that contained a few pills and placed them in front of the boy as well.

"Do them all at the same time and it'll be easier. Where's your IV?" The man questioned as he recapped the orange juice jug, sticking it into the fridge.

Ed shrugged as he tossed the pills into his mouth and took several huge gulps of the liquid. Roy sighed, but picked up the spatula, nudging the sizzling bacon about and flipping the browning eggs.

"You'd better put it in, right after breakfast. Or I will keep you on house arrest for as long as I am allowed," Roy said assertively, pointing the spatula at Ed. The blonde rolled his eyes at the mock threat.

"Yes, _Sir._"

Roy smirked, and opened his mouth to say something, spatula ready for expressing his point of view.

Suddenly the phone rang, startling both of the alchemists. The spatula the Colonel had been holding fell to the floor with a clatter. Roy quickly stooped to retrieve it, and deemed the food was cooked well enough. He flicked off the burners and headed over to the wall above the counter, and then picked up the phone.

"Mustang residence," Roy answered, annoyance spreading throughout the tip of his tone.

Edward looked on inquiringly from the breakfast bar, crossed arms falling to grip the edge of the counter.

"Oh, Anderson. We didn't expect to hear from you this soon," Roy said, sticking the phone between his shoulder and his ear. Luckily, the cord was long enough to stretch around the working part of the kitchen, and Roy took advantage of the fact.

"I see," he murmured, opening a cabinet and taking out two plates, and then a drawer to get two forks and two knives, laying the dishes and utensils beside the stove. He stole a glance at Edward, who, with one hand on the counter and legs thrown to the side of the stool, looked as if he was about to hop down and search for another phone.

Roy held up a finger, eyes stern as he motioned for the boy to stay put, while he still kept most of his attention focused on the phone. His brow furrowed from the news he heard from the other end of the line. "What about gloves or cutting-" The Colonel stopped abruptly, the words forming on his lips but no sound coming out. He stood in silence for a moment, before sighing. "Right."

Roy picked up the spatula and considered it for a moment, before placing it back on the counter. He picked up a fork and scooped bacon and eggs onto the two plates. He added a couple of pieces of toast to each meal. "Yes, yes. I can get him to the lab tomorrow, if that's alright."

The older alchemist placed a plate and fork in front of Edward, then turned and headed back toward the phone dock. "Yes. Thank you, Anderson. See you then," he said, padding across the kitchen to hang up the phone. But halfway there he suddenly stopped, one foot in front of the other as if he had been halted mid step.

"Maes," Roy said, surprised. He paused, listening intently. He could feel Edward's eyes locked onto the back of his head, like an itch that couldn't be scratched. He extended his arm behind him and held up the finger again. "Oh. Wow. When?" He asked, silence extending behind his words. "Yes, I'll make a call and get something set up. Yes, no problem." He gently placed the phone back onto its dock and didn't turn around immediately.

"What's up?" Edward asked eagerly, eyes bright and hopeful. The dark haired alchemist turned around and observed the boy in silence, dark blue eyes covering every inch he could see. Ed's black tank top, his pale skin, the automail shining under his kitchen lights. He then sighed and walked across the kitchen, coming to a stop on the opposite side of the counter where Edward was seated.

"I will be on business for four days out East. I need to make some phone calls, but Hawkeye has already volunteered to watch you if I should need to leave. I will be leaving tomorrow afternoon," he said, voice monotone, as if he were reading off the spices in the cabinet.

The Fullmetal's golden eyes grew wide. "What? Why? Why can't I go with you?" Ed asked, stunned and obviously trying to hide how upset he was.

"I have some business that I need to attend to. You can't travel in your condition," Roy replied. The blonde turned his head to the side, eyes downcast. The colonel's expression softened, as did his words. "You know how the job is Edward."

"I know," the boy answered, closing his eyes and slowly shaking his head.

"On a lighter note, they also pulled the prints from the letter," Roy informed him, leaning onto the counter top with folded arms. Edward's captivatingly attentive expression returned, golden eyes widening with excitement instead of hurt.

"Aaaaand?" Edward asked, drawing the word out into a sentence of its own. He leaned forward as he spoke, seeming to forget about the food placed before him. Roy frowned and leaned across to pick up the blonde's fork. Edward paid no attention.

"Aaaaand, the prints are not prints," the dark haired man replied simply, stabbing some egg onto Edward's fork and sticking the utensil into the blonde's mouth. For a moment Edward didn't react, but then he gagged harshly, looking to spit out the offensive food. But Roy held up The Finger once again, plainly telling the boy he could either a) swallow and get information, or b) spit it out and piss off a Mustang.

The Fullmetal decided on the first option and held his breath while he chewed and swallowed. He made a face and took a dramatic inhaled breath. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Roy started, stabbing a piece of bacon and holding it in front of Edward's mouth. The boy hesitated before taking a bite, keeping his amber eyes locked on the Colonel's. "They are as smooth as glass. And the investigation team has only seen these prints once before."

Edward swallowed and raised a lone eyebrow. Roy stabbed another piece of egg and directed it towards the Fullmetal, who snatched the fork cleanly from his superior officer's hand and stuck the food in his own mouth. He let the fork clatter to the plate, a triumphant look on his face.

"They saw it with evidence of inhuman activity."

Ed froze mid chew. Roy could tell that the boy, who had turned as white as a sheet, was suddenly sick to his stomach. He had a feeling it wasn't from the food.

* * *

"You seem nervous," Roy said, grinning over his shoulder at the boy in the backseat. Edward's handsome face fell flat, striking eyes leering from beneath heavy lids.

"You seem to be ignoring the fact that we've had the biggest break in Al's case," Ed retorted, his fidgeting thumbs quieting.

"A more mature person knows how to hide their feelings," Roy informed, smile turning into a devious smirk.

"You're just old. Did you miss your nap?" The young blonde asked curtly, eyes half lidded and un-amused.

Roy cocked an eyebrow and opened his mouth to fire a comeback, but was quickly cut off.

"You two need to stop bickering. Now." Hawkeye ordered from the driver's seat, her amber eyes locking Edward in place through the review mirror.

Ed sighed, puffing out his lower lip in a pout as he looked out the window. Several minutes later he could feel eyes on him, and he slowly looked over. The Colonel was grinning his way, and Ed's expression fell flat.

"What the hell are you looking at?" He grumbled, leaning his arm onto the car door and head onto his palm.

"It's okay to be nervous," Roy said.

Edward snorted and re-averted his gaze back out the window. "Yeah. And don't worry, it's okay to be old."

"And it's not okay for you two to be getting on my nerves," Hawkeye snapped. As soon as the words left her mouth, her eyes widened. "I apologize, Colonel."

"Apology accepted, Hawkeye."

After informing Edward of the shocking find, Roy had immediately gotten on the phone with Riza. She had agreed to take on the care of Edward without any persuasion. It was decided Hawkeye would stay in a guest room in the colonel's house, to avoid putting any more stress than necessary on Ed.

The last day had been spent cleaning the guest room, and yes, washing the linens. Ed had been keen on following Roy just about everywhere he'd gone. Up stairs, down stairs, east wing, west wing. He kept his IV in, ate without provocation, and listened to everything Mustang said without hesitation. Roy almost felt something in his chest ache, as if Edward was putting forth all that effort in hope that Roy would not be leaving him behind.

But when Ed had seen the Colonel loading his suitcase into the trunk of the military vehicle, Ed's childish nature resurfaced. In times like these, Roy had to remind himself of Ed's age. Things people go through can only mature them so much, and Ed was still very much a teenager.

"How much longer until we get there?" Said boy griped, eyes dull and unfocused.

"Just a few more minutes," Riza answered, glancing over at Roy.

"Edward," Roy said quietly, getting the boy's attention. Ed almost opened his mouth to say something witty, but he then noticed the seriousness on Roy's face. He hesitated, lowering his face but keeping his eyes level with the older man's. "I don't want you to get your hopes up," the Flame said quietly.

Edward looked at him for a moment longer before turning away, feeling pink heat rush to his cheeks. "Yeah."

"Just because those prints have been found, doesn't mean they'll lead anywhere."

Edward averted his gaze back out the window. He looked to the graying sky, scouring the last remaining spaces of blue. "I know."

"But we can and will hope for the best," Hawkeye broke in, shooting Roy another look.

Roy glanced at Hawkeye, then turned himself to face forward again. "Yes. We will."

The trio drove in silence for a few minutes before Hawkeye turned into a driveway. She slowed to a half before a large wrought iron gate held in place by two enormous stone pillars. The Lieutenant rolled down her window just as a security guard rounded the stone pillar, a rifle slung across his back.

"Identification please," he stated in monotone, hand extended. Hawkeye slipped her hand into her pocket, and the security guard tensed in reflex. The blonde woman's hand emerged with three cards, each card containing information on the passengers in the vehicle. The guard snatched the three cards, flipped through each with a nod, then handed them back. Hawkeye replaced them in her pocket as the guard held up his hand, and then threw it down. The gates opened.

Riza rolled up her window and placed her foot gently on the gas, and off they went. The pavement looked so new and unused that one would think they could eat off of it. The car ascended a hill and then back down. One of the Central Military buildings came into view, not quite as new as the driveway but still sporting a bright white exterior. Ahead the drive turned circular, and in the middle stood a large fountain with two fighting lions. The landscaping was immaculate, the grass mowed perfectly and each bush trimmed evenly. "Central Special Investigations Lab" was carved into a large marble slab, which was smoothed and polished to a shine.

Ed had leaned forward to get a better look at the building, his molten eyes large with awe.

"Impressive, isn't it?" Roy said, cocking a small smile in Edward's direction without fully turning his head.

"I'll say," Ed answered, dumbfounded.

Hawkeye pulled the darkly colored car to a stop in front of the building, which Ed appreciatively noted lacked the great stairs the main military building had. Anderson was waiting in front of the great wooden entrance doors, and he started their way as Hawkeye turned the engine off. Roy emerged from the vehicle first and shook hands with a very excited looking Levi. The man who Roy had judged as so composed was slightly disheveled; his shirt wrinkled, glasses smudged, and hair uncombed. The Northerner was also obviously _too_ excited for formalities, but Roy let it go. He was a bit excited himself.

"Thank you so much for bringing Major Elric here today, Sir," Anderson said enthusiastically, dropping the Flame's hand and giving a late salute. Roy chuckled and waved him off.

"You're very much welcome."

"I do apologize for not giving you a proper greeting but I am quite excited and eager to get Major Elric into the lab," the Northener babbled, gesturing towards the doors.

"Of course of course."

Roy opened the back car door and Edward looked up at them in annoyance. "Thought you were going to leave me in here or something, geesh."

"He's in a bit of a mood," Roy explained to Anderson, as if he were a parent embarrassing their child into behaving. Ed sighed and rolled his eyes.

Hawkeye, who had been fishing about the trunk for the wheelchair, rounded the back of the car with the contraption. Roy saw Edward's face darken, as if thunder clouds had suddenly gathered above the teenager's moody head.

"Edward," Roy said in a warning tone.

"I know I know," the blonde grumbled, scooting to the edge of the car's interior until his feet hung close to the ground. Roy reached in and unhooked the IV bag that had been hanging on the car's ceiling handle. He then hooked his free arm under Edward's and helped the teenager to a standing position, then to the wheelchair Riza had parked directly beside the car. Edward sat down gingerly, taking a deep breath as if the move had exhausted him.

"Thanks," Ed grumbled as Roy fastened the dripping bag onto the protruding hanger on the wheelchair.

"Not a problem."

Anderson, who had been observing the scene with hands clasped behind his back, nodded. "I am going to let the rest of the team know Mr. Elric is coming in," he said, turning and letting his long strides take him through the front doors.

"I will be back waiting for you as soon as I drop off the Colonel, Edward," Riza said. Edward nodded, eyes downcast. She opened the door to the vehicle and slipped into the driver's seat. The slam of the car door told the pair of alchemists that their words were now in private.

"He's full of even more of something else today," Ed muttered, nodding after the haphazard Lieutenant.

"He's just excited. Maes warned me that he gets a bit scattered," Roy replied, bending down on one knee so he was eye-to-eye with the teen. They stayed that way for a moment, gold meeting with blue, until Ed broke.

"Can I please come with you?" He pled quietly, staring down at the black asphalt.

Roy grinned. "Aw, are you going to miss me?"

Edward's expression immediately changed to the defensive. "Psh, no."

Roy gave him a soft smile and stood. "Be safe, and be good. Don't give Hawkeye a hard time." Roy tapped the Fullmetal on the head, which earned him a snort. "You know as well as anyone what she is capable of doing."

Ed's hand snagged the sleeve of Roy's jacket, and the man looked down. "I wish I could kiss you right now," Ed whispered brokenly as Anderson exited the building and started to head their way. The blonde let go, slowly letting his hand fall to his lap.

"This is what it's like," Roy answered. He ruffled the boy's hair. "I will see you in four days."

The Colonel turned and opened the passenger side door. He slipped into the car, blue uniform standing out against the dark leather interior. He looked at the Fullmetal in his review mirror, who was ignoring the quickly approaching Anderson in favor of staring straight back.

Riza started the car and looked over at Roy. "Sir?"

He continued to look in the mirror and felt his chest growing tight. "Just go," he said, and averted his gaze to the front. Riza looked on for a moment longer before obliging, and the car pulled away.

It didn't take long for Mustang's deep blue eyes to find themselves re-glued to the side view. Anderson saluted enthusiastically as the car drove down the drive, and Roy could see him turn Edward's chair and head towards the entrance. An unseen hand opened the door for them, and the pair disappeared inside the building.

Roy let out a shuddering breath.

"He's in good hands, Colonel," Riza said.

"I know, Hawkeye." He looked back at the building for one last look. "I know."

* * *

Roy stepped off the train, alone. He was the only passenger that had ridden this far out, and it didn't take long for the train to continue on its journey. The station was nothing more than a square of concrete with four cement pillars holding up an old brown roof. Surrounding him on all four sides were fields of long grasses, rarely touched by man. A dirt path that started at the front of the station wove through the grass, and Roy could vaguely see a small village in the distance. It looked as if the cozy country side had barely been touched by the winter's chilling fingers.

"It's been awhile, huh?" A voice cut through the silence, and Roy grinned as Maes stepped out from behind a pillar. He was dressed in black slacks and a thick windbreaker instead of his usual military attire.

Roy took a deep breath, catching the clean country air that he had not experienced for some time. "Eight or nine years I'd say."

Maes nodded with a smile. "Welcome back to Risembool, Colonel."

* * *

"So we can add grave robbing to the list of unexpected events," Havoc muttered, stalking about the perimeter like a pacing animal. His black boots left imprints in the cold grass; he had a habit of stomping when he was nervous.

"The lid to the coffin is not even salvageable. Look at it," Fuery said in disbelief. There was no longer even one chunk of wood left. The pile of dirt that had been removed was littered with fine sawdust and fluffy cotton. The edges of the casket's new opening were splintered and broken.

"It looks as if a bomb went off," Falman observed, arms crossed and posture stick straight.

Roy looked on in silent amazement. He felt numb, as if the information and the images his brain was sending him were going through at the pace of molasses. He could see Hughes leaving his investigations team and heading his way, but he couldn't help himself to do anything but stare at the pit before him.

"Where's Ed?" Maes asked as he rounded the grave's edge. Roy saw him keep the crater in the corner of his eye, as if he were afraid to get too close. As if falling in when render him nothing more than the crumbs they were now dealing with.

Roy shook his head. "I didn't tell him. I told him I needed to go out of town for a few days. Hawkeye will be keeping an eye on him."

Hughes nodded in approval. "Good."

"I don't want him to know," Roy explained, running a hand through his black hair.

"You and me both." Hughes agreed, coming to stand beside him.

"When did you all get here?" Roy asked, gesturing to not only his team, but Hughes's as well. He had brought four of his own men, and Roy assumed they were for forensic purposes.

The other man sighed and looked up to the sky. "Early, early this morning. Probably two or three a.m."

"How was this discovered?"

"The grounds keeper came for the monthly clean up. Since the Rockbells are in government protection, they haven't been to see Alphonse's grave. After he cut the grass, he discovered that the ground had been greatly disturbed. Judging by all the grass that had grown, whatever happened took place at least a month ago."

"Fucked up." Havoc said as he passed by, cigarette perched precariously between his lips. Roy raised an eyebrow as the Lieutenant breezed by, rifle slung across his back. He shook his head and turned back to Maes.

"What's going on now?" Roy asked.

Hughes clapped his hands together and grinned. In that instant the Colonel felt his heart ache for a fiery blonde boy that he had left behind. "We're ready to haul this casket out of the ground."

The Flame quirked an eyebrow as if he didn't believe him. "How are you going to manage that?"

"Out here they lower the caskets with hooks and rope - see the metal loops on the side of the casket?" Hughes said, pointed to the circular metal hoops protruding from the casket sides. Metal hooks attached to rope had been run through each of the loops and were ready for casket hauling.

"Ah. How long did it take to get a hook in those?" He asked out of curiosity, noting how small they were.

Hughes winked. "It was a pain in the ass."

The Flame laughed despite his nerves. "Let's see it out, then. Do I need to pitch in?"

"Not necessary, Chief," Breda laughed, waving him off. "That's what we're here for."

Breda and Fuery stepped to one side of the grave, and Falman and Havoc (whose marching marathon had come to a close when Breda had hauled him over to the grave) took the other side. Each man grabbed a rope and pulled it taught, then counted to three. They gave a good heave, and the casket began to rise with no resistance. With the occupant and the lid gone, the box had lost a significant amount of weight. It only took a minute until the casket was resting safely on solid ground.

"Ho-ly hell," Breda almost laughed, the evident surprise in his voice sending a shiver down Roy's spine. The only time he had ever seen Breda surprised was when Fuery had drug little Black Hayate into the office unannounced.

The four casket haulers stepped back to let the Flame and Maes through to have a look.

Maes whistled in amazement and a bit of horror. "What a wreck."

The casket was destroyed beyond what they had originally been able to see from six feet away. Now, in the light, they could see through the layer of dirt, and it was almost terrifying. Long marks, about five in a row, covered the inside wood. The red pillow-top bottom was torn to shreds, as if something had tried to dig its way out. As if an animal had been caged inside and had fought for its life.

The six men stood in silence, too stunned to do anything but stare. Roy felt anger stir within his stomach and turned to his men, eyes hard. "Back away and let Hughes's men through," he ordered. The four men immediately backed away fifteen or so feet, but stayed in their group. They looked on from their new vantage point, sadness and sickness turning within each of their bellies.

Hughes's four investigators got right to work, wasting no time. All four had cameras out and were clicking away; at the casket, the pile of dirt, and down to the very grave itself. It was through one of these flashes that something caught the eye of both Mustang and Hughes, as well as the photographer.

One dark red spot stood out on the casket. A piece of wood sticking out from the edge looked as if it had snagged the assailant.

"It looks like blood, sir," the man said, camera flashing as he got a picture of the stain from every angle.

The colonel felt himself growing more and more sickened by the second, and he took backed away from Alphonse's former gravesite. He stopped only when he came a few feet from a hill, feeling as if he had come far enough. He just kept staring at the dark mahogany wood of the casket, the wood that matched his desk and made him wish he could return to his post and sign papers for the rest of his life.

"What destroys a casket, steals a body, and only leaves one drop of blood?" Roy wondered aloud, his deep voice almost trembling at the end.

"The question is more so, who destroys a casket lid, to steal a body, that destroying the lid would render maimed. It just doesn't make sense," Maes, who had followed Mustang, mused.

"I don't know about you, Maes, but digging up ghosts has me spooked."

"This is the first time I've ever headed a murder case, Roy. And the body in question has gone missing," the other man said, running a hand through his hair. His young face spoke of worry through lines that were too early in their appearance. "I'm a little spooked myself."

"This feels like it will break someone. How serious this is."

Hughes took a deep breath, slipping his hands into his pockets and looking up to the sky. "Even in death these boys can't rest." Roy cocked his head in the Lieutenant's direction, observing. Maes brought his hand out of the pocket, a folded mass of documents in his hand.

"Here are the papers stating that we had your permission to be here. Sorry you had to come all the way out for them."

Roy shook his head and gladly accepted them, unfolding the papers and pressing out the creases. "I'm glad I came out here anyway," he said, flipping through the pages until he got to the end.

"Yeah?" Hughes answered.

Roy nodded, pulling a dark ink pen from his pocket. "Oh yeah. I wouldn't have believed it otherwise." He scribbled a messy signature onto the dotted line, his usual handwriting suffering even further due to the lack of a hard surface. He capped the pen and handed the raggedy pages back to Hughes, who refolded returned them to his pocket. The two soldiers then stood there for a long moment, staring on as Hughes's team took pictures and samples. Roy's four men had reproached the scene and were looking on. He couldn't see their faces.

"I have to go catch the train soon, I'm sorry I wasn't here for long," Mustang announced, slipping his chilled hands into his coat pockets.

The glasses wearing man cupped the Flame's shoulder and patted him on the back. "He needs you, Roy. You go on home."

Roy shrugged Hughes off in mock annoyance, but fought off a smile nonetheless. "Will you all be heading back tomorrow?"

Hughes nodded in affirmation. "First thing in the morning. Casket in tow." The two paused in their farewell to take one last look at Al's would be final resting place. The wind had picked up a bit and some stray cotton had begun to blow across the graveyard. "It's frightening, isn't it?"

Roy caught of another deep breath of country air. But instead of being fresh and clean, it was bitter and cold. "I think it's only the beginning."

* * *

It had just struck one a.m. when the Colonel entered his house, the foyer lit by the dimmest setting on his lamps. He set his suitcase down and removed his hat and coat, hanging each carefully on the wooden coat rack residing by the front door. He removed his shoes and nudged them under the rack as well. The cool marble flooring seeped through his socks and touched his feet, sending chills up his spine.

"Welcome home Sir," Hawkeye greeted, appearing in the doorway to the great room. She looked tired and sad, but her image was as perfect as always. Her outfit was crisp and clean, and not a blonde hair was out of place. She looked stern with her crossed arms, but the Flame could still sense the relief she was radiating.

Roy, although he was a bit startled, smiled in return. "Thank you, Hawkeye."

"Edward is sleeping, he drifted off about an hour ago," the blonde woman informed him, arms falling to her side. The sleeves of her light pink blouse were rolled up to just below her elbows, and he could see goose bumps rising on her arms.

Roy gestured toward where Riza had emerged. "Shall we go see him?"

"He's sleeping on the loveseat in the great room," Riza said as Roy walked by, the eagerness inside of him almost unbearable. As soon as the couches were in view, he stopped.

A flood of relieved longing washed over him.

Edward had tucked himself away under the heavy comforter from Roy's master bedroom. His golden hair spilled out on the pillow, loose from its braid and shimmering in the dim light. His breathing was steady and smooth, and he didn't so much as stir when the two adults entered the room. He was mesmerizing.

"He refused to sleep in a bed," Hawkeye informed the Flame as she walked up behind him. "He has been at that couch for the past two nights now, waiting for you. He looked like a puppy waiting for his master to return."

Roy smiled at the repeated comparison, so glad to be home that he almost chuckled in response. He placed a hand on the wall behind him and looked over at his co-worker. "Thank you for keeping an eye on him, Hawkeye."

The blonde woman crossed her arms and nodded. "It wasn't a problem, Colonel. He behaved perfectly."

"Everything you need to know about the last four days is in Hughes's office."

"Acknowledged, Sir."

Riza slipped on her winter coat, buttoning it up and tying a scarf around her neck. "I will be in touch with you sometime this week."

"Would you like some help with your bag?" He asked, taking some steps toward the foyer. Hawkeye held up a hand, and to his surprise, smiled.

"Don't be silly, Sir. Go be with him."

The Colonel smiled gratefully. He stood up as straight as you like, and saluted. Riza, whose eyes had grown wide with surprise, found herself giving a slight bow in respect for such thanks. She gathered her bag and headed toward the door, but stopped right as she opened it.

"Please, keep an eye on him, Sir," she said quietly, her low voice carrying just far enough to reach Roy's ears. She seemed to hesitate, as if even she were afraid of what she had to say. "He seems to be on the road down."

Mustang's dark brow furrowed, but he nodded just the same. "Thank you, Lieutenant."

She nodded and gave one last look at the man that stood before her. She then exited, her dark coat slipping out along with her just as the door was shut. The Flame shivered as the outside chill entered the house in a gust, and he retreated further into the great room. The carpet was a great comfort to his feet, and he couldn't wait to sit on a seat that offered some comfort. He rounded the couch where boyfriend lay asleep, trying to keep his steps as silent as possible.

Roy gently lowered himself onto the couch and immediately placed his lips onto Ed's temple. The boy stirred beneath him, groaning quietly. Roy kissed his way from Ed's temple to the tip of his nose, pulling away to brush silky blonde hair away from his face. He felt so warm for a change, and even had a bit of a flush to his skin that was borderline on feverish.

"I missed you," Edward murmured groggily, not moving from his position or opening his eyes. He gave a small, raspy cough, tucking his head beneath the blanket.

"I missed you too," Roy replied, pulling the comforter back down to tuck around Edward's shoulders.

"What happened while you were out East?" The blonde asked, still unmoving and half asleep. The Colonel took off his gloves and ran a hand down the comforter, down the teenager's back. He could feel the bones of his spine, where the automail connected, as well as the tremors under the boy's skin. So much pain.

And Roy almost told him, right then and there. But Hawkeye's words rang in the back of his head.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."


	16. Chapter 16: Upward and Out

**A/N:** Welcome to the angst. Uh uh, uh oh.

**Special thanks to: **Fullmetal Angyl, Psycho Anime, DanielDeathnote, PutThatAway, DunTouchIt, Mama Muse, Hawk Cold Eyes, narutonarutolove, Dream Theme, Kittens-Are-Fluffy, Kris, UnluckyTeddyBear13, TehDonutSecks, Pseudoephedrine, Chiisai., Qualyn, Atsuko Uehara, Mysterious Daughter Of Sparda, .Yumi, Meyham, TheSlashBunny, animefangirlNoriko, SkyChasingDreamer, and foreverforgotten5. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

**WARNING:** This chapter contains sexual scenes. This story is **RATED M for MATURE** for a reason, and I have a **RIGHT** to post this scene. If you are under 17, **YOU ARE KNOWLINGLY BREAKING FANFICTION(DOT)NET'S RULES**. If you do not want to read it, **THEN DON'T**. It becomes very clear when it starts, and I am in no way responsible if you do read it without wanting to. I am covering my own ass because several fics were complained about having sexual scenes in them and were deleted. This story is rated to have these scenes, and** I HAVE GIVEN A CLEAR WARNING.**

* * *

**Chapter 16:** Upward and Out

"Go away," Ed muttered, pushing Roy's face out of his point of view.

"Noooo," the colonel replied, cozying back up to the blonde only to be pushed away again. He backed away to the other side of the couch and regarded Edward with his dark head cocked to the side. He had a metal finger pointed at him, as if that would lock him in place.

"I swear, you'd better leave me the fuck alone or I'll beat your ass," Ed said threateningly, or at least as threateningly as he could. Dressed in Roy's over-sized clothes he looked more like something worth cuddling than a source of potential danger. He kept his golden eyes on Roy for an extra few seconds to add emphasis to his words, and then returned to the papers on the coffee table before him.

Roy got to his knees and then flopped down onto the couch with the grace of an elephant, landing with the majority of his body across Ed's legs.

The teen glared down at him, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You annoying bastard."

Roy smirked and closed his eyes. "I _missed_ you," he purred, rolling over and pushing his face into the crook of Ed's flesh arm.

"So very glad you did, but my legs are falling asleep," Edward replied, poking and prodding at Roy's ribs in hopes of getting him to move. The older man didn't flinch one bit. Instead he looked up, giving Ed a devious look with his dark eyes.

"Precisely. You won't be able to run."

* * *

Maes Hughes sat in his office, fingers to his temple and frowning. Instead of the usual scene of many books littering his desk, one thick file lay before him. The contents were neatly tucked inside, waiting; taunting.

His frown deepened.

"I've been through this file so many times. I feel like a kid with dyslexia trying to make sense of another language," he muttered. He flipped the cover open and regarded the cover page that consisted of nothing more than Al's full name along with the Amestrian crest.

A young woman with short brown hair and glasses stumbled into the room, a stack of files that most likely weighed as much as she did in her arms. She let them drop with a large _thump_ onto Hughes's desk, breathing heavily as she peered around the pile.

"Sir, I've finished the court files for Cases 89E, 90E, and 91E."

His eyes lit up. "You're a miracle, Schieszka. You can take the rest of the evening off if you wish."

Her large green eyes grew wide, a hopeful expression filling her face. "Do you really mean it, Lieutenant?"

Hughes chuckled and nodded. "Of course. No late night parties, though. I need you bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow morning."

Schieszka, who was standing ramrod straight with her hands behind her back, nodded fervently. "Yes Sir, six a.m. sharp."

Hughes beamed and moved his attention back to the file. "That's my girl."

* * *

"What is with you tonight?" Ed grumbled as he pushed Roy away for what was probably the twentieth time. "Getting all up in my business."

"Where did you learn that phrase?" The older man purred, leaning over the couch and pressing a kiss to soft blonde hair, only to be swatted away again.

"Havoc, not that it matters," Edward replied, leaning across the coffee table to snatch up a piece of paper that had apparently caught his interest. "At least he would let me do my work."

The older man leaned his head on his head, raising an eyebrow. "You've been at this all day."

"And you haven't," Ed countered, raising a pen and pointing it at his superior officer. Roy opened his mouth to fire a reply, but he was cut off. "I _know_ Hawkeye came by early with more papers, I saw them on the kitchen table. What I haven't seen is you signing them. You've been bothering _me_." Ed kept the pen pointed at him, glaring. It was his new favorite thing, this behavior of making gestures last longer than they should. As if he thought presenting someone with them for a longer period of time would instill that point forever in their mind.

Roy's eyebrows knitted together in mock emotion. "I'm hurt."

"Good!" Ed snapped, returning to his paper with a huff. There were a few moments of silence before he started scratching away with his pen. "The least you could have done is take that damn tree down. I'm pretty sure the holidays are long past."

Roy shrugged, leaning on the back of the couch. He tilted his head to the side to get a look at what Edward was writing about. "I'll do it tomorrow."

The blonde quickly flipped his paper over. He whipped his head around and Roy had to step back to avoid a braid to the face. "That's what you said last week," the boy began, mouth open to keep going.

But he was cut off by warm lips before he could continue. He didn't fight them. Who would want to?

* * *

"Further testing and examination of the casket, my ass," Hughes muttered as read the report. It had to be a joke. "There's no way they did further testing. Not with these results." He flipped to the next page and skimmed over it. A bar graph showing the different levels of the substances they'd tested stared him in the face. The next page consisted of many of the photographs of the splintered edges of the casket, arrows pointing to specific places and explaining what it meant. Hughes shook his head.

"No DNA was found in the blood sample. For all that the lab gave me it's no more valuable than cherry flavored water," he huffed. His pointer finger swept to the other bit of miscalculated information, one which made him want to march down to the lab and throw it in the scientists' faces.

"Obviously something got_ in_. Sometimes I think we have jokers for testing lab employees."

He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, blinking rapidly to ease the burning sensation. He put them back on and picked up the last page of the casket's report. He read the last line out loud, as if he hadn't believed it the first time and just needed to hear it verbally to be sure he wasn't seeing things.

"Results confirmed that the path of debris and injury to the casket was deflected upward and out."

He paused and then chuckled softly. "Upward, and out."

* * *

"Something is weird about Al's report, but I can't put my finger on it," Ed murmured, tapping the pen on his bottom lip. His tapping eventually slowed to a halt, and his golden eyes looked to the very edge of his vision.

Roy, who was still hovering over the blonde's shoulder, smirked. "Kind of like how I didn't notice your plan to escape?"

"Oh shut up," the younger alchemist snapped, turning his head away just so that he could see Roy out of the corner of one golden eye. "I _will_ punch you."

The Flame 'hmmed' and laid his chin on his palm. His eyes rolled up and he studied the ceiling. "I wonder how far you would have made it."

The blonde's lip curled up in a snarl and he turned to look the colonel on fully. He dropped his pen to the couch. "I swear I'm going to hit you, Mustang."

"I wonder how hard you-."

"Shut the fuck _up_, you _ass!_"

* * *

"Where could you be, Alphonse?" Maes murmured. His desk had grown progressively messy as the papers steadily leaked their way out of the file. Some were stacked, some were in a pile, and others were strays.

The man leafed through a few more pages that were still in the file. He came across a copy of the Al's missing link letter to his brother, which had been carefully placed in sterile plastic case by the investigation team to preserve evidence. It was shiny and sleek and cold to the touch. He ran a hand down the binding on the side and tapped the date. "You were trying to tell us something, Al. And they let you. But why?"

He flipped through a few more pages and came across the criminal's profile. What a sorry ass profile it was, he was almost embarrassed of it. Name, aliases, appearance, motive, method and manner. Blank line after blank line glared at him. The outlined box for placing the criminal's finger prints was the only thing that had been filled in, and those were empty, too.

His green eyes glared in anger and a fear he could feel slowly coming to the surface.

"And who are they?"

* * *

"You look so handsome when you wear my clothes," the colonel crooned.

Ed looked up from his paper and shot the colonel a look from across the coffee table. "Did I mention to cut the shit? I'm being serious."

"For once." Roy burst out in childish laughter.

The boy regarded him with a flat stare. He raised his pen, but then thought better of it. Instead he returned to his document and snorted. "Whatever. I'll be the bigger one."

"Barely!" Roy howled from his spot on the other couch, earning a full-hearted glower from the young alchemist.

"I'M NOT SHORT!" He shrieked, angrily waving the paper in his hand so aggressively Roy wondered for a moment if it would disintegrate. But then Ed stopped short of his rant, taking a closer look at what the paper in his hand said. His golden eyes grew wide. "I'm not short," he said in shock, his voice deadpan.

The colonel snorted and rolled his eyes to the ceiling, not paying the younger alchemist's actions any attention. He rolled over on to his back, sinking into the plush cushions and folding his arms behind his head. "Of course not."

And suddenly the golden boy was excited, his voice animated as he began to wave the paper again. If the Flame was not mistaken, Edward had begun to bounce up and down as well, his automail leg clinking each time it hit the floor. "No Roy, you don't _get_ it. I'm not short. _Al_ is."

Mustang frowned and quickly sat up, placing his feet on the floor. Edward passed the paper to him across the table, and the older man leaned over to receive it gently. As he had assumed, Edward's anger and excitement had done a bit of injury, but he was still able to read the line which is guessed had caused the young alchemist so much anxiety.

It was Alphonse's death profile. But there was something wrong, or at least because of Edward, Roy assumed was wrong. And that was the fact that Alphonse Elric had not been just shy of 5'5 in his life.

"That isn't correct, is it?" The older alchemist asked seriously, his dark eyes looking up at the teenager across from him.

Edward shook his head so fast and so many times that Roy was surprised he didn't fall over dizzy. He reached over and plucked the profile from Roy's hands, holding it close to his face as if even he didn't believe what the printed words read. "No. He was at least 5'8, Roy. We measured him once to make sure." He flipped the page around and pointed to the paragraph where it explained that post-mortem, Al had been lying on the ground, on his back. "And look, he'd been lying down, so all of the fluid in his spine would have made him a little taller."

"Maybe you should lie down more often," Roy quipped before he knew what he was saying. Immediately his hands went up to defend himself, effectively taking the sound punch that Ed dove across the table to deliver. The colonel felt he was mostly saved by the IV line, which had snagged Edward before and was something the young alchemist didn't want to go through again. Roy leaned back into the couch, hands still raised just in case. "My apologies, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No time for jokes."

The Fullmetal, whose face had grown a pink tinge that would be more associated with anger than a blush, pounded a fist into his open palm. "So that would mean his standing height would be around 5'4."

Roy looked at him blank-faced, eyebrows raised and lids heavy. "He'd still be taller than you."

"WILL YOU SHUT _UP?_"

* * *

The lieutenant colonel massaged the bridge of his nose, hand moving on to his forehead. Then the other hand decided to join in as well. "Malnourished…he'd only been gone for a week. And I doubt he would look like this after only a week..."

Both hands found their way to his dark hair and began to pull on their own accord. But it was difficult to notice his scalp was on fire when his brain already was. "No dead body digs itself out of the ground and walks away," he groaned, letting his head fall onto his desk full of papers with a thunk. A few of the sheets blew off the edge of the desk, and he watched them go. A few more had flown up, and one landed right over the side of his head and one of his eyes.

Both green eyes widened, as if the paper had knocked some sense into him. Because he was not nearly as hard headed as Roy Mustang or Edward Elric, this was entirely possible. He grabbed the paper in one hand and sat up, observing the page. "Unless…unless Al was not who he really was."

The page described the yellow house in great detail, from its floorboards to its rafters. In the end, it was described as an "unauthorized laboratory" under investigation for "unknown activity" and was to be "destroyed upon investigation completion".

In that moment, something tugged at the back of his memory. Something that he remembered dealing with, a laboratory, not even too long ago. A laboratory that was thought to be abandoned, but a lab that was still in supposedly unauthorized use.

_Unauthorized lab. Inhuman activity._

And then it hit him.

"Oh. Bloody. Hell."

* * *

"Look at his tattoo," Edward prodded, pushing two pictures of the back of Al's neck into Roy's hands. One was laminated and obviously from Alphonse's case file, courtesy of Hughes's investigation crew. The other, however, was professionally done. The blood red tattoo of the blood seal from Al's armor stood out in both pictures.

"I never knew he got that," the colonel said, dumbfounded. He had never figured Al to be that kind of person, to make such a rash decision. Being so young, statistics would say that he would regret such a thing later on down the road. But if Roy knew anything about Al, he knew that the boy had planned the permanent mark long before he was out of the armor.

"He'd wanted it for years, and as soon as I restored him he insisted," Ed explained, confirming Roy's thoughts. "I let him do it because I knew that's what he wanted."

But the teenager paused, as if he didn't want to say what he had to say, to believe what he knew was lying out before him. Roy quirked a dark eyebrow and held the pictures side by side, trying to see what the younger man saw.

"It's wrong. Missing that little triangle right there, see?" The golden boy finally said, pointing to a spot on the laminated investigation photograph. When compared with the other photograph, the Flame Colonel saw that the boy was right.

And it sent a chill down his spine.

* * *

_"Daddy is going to be late tonight, sweetheart. He has a lot of work to do."_

_"Yes, I'll come tuck you in when I get home, even if you're asleep."_

_"Tell Mommy I'll be home in an hour, okay?"_

_"Okay. Goodnight. I love you, baby girl."_

* * *

"Fuck!" Ed shouted, slamming both hands onto the dark wooden coffee table. If Roy was correct, the boy had just called upon enough strength to leave a nicely sized dent in his imported piece of furniture. He didn't know whether to be glad that Edward had the strength to make dents again, or pissed yet that he himself would have to find a way to fix it.

But when Edward's eyes flew to Roy's dark ones, the colonel froze. They were wide, wide and downright terrified, and before he knew what he was doing, the colonel had leapt from the couch and was running for the phone.

"Call the Investigation Department!" Ed screamed, struggling to dragging the IV stand with him, but failing miserably when it caught on the rug. "And make sure no one is at that house!"

* * *

Hughes quietly walked down the gray stone steps, careful to keep his footing. There was no longer any working electricity in the yellow house, and the basement stairs weren't well lit in the first place. He felt for the hand rail that he knew started about halfway down, and was able to successfully come across it and descend the remaining steps. Even though he was wearing a thick white surgical max, the musty smell of dust and grime nearly overwhelmed him.

Hughes thought he had hit the floor and nearly fell when he missed the last step. He knew that there were windows down here, but for some reason it was so dark. It had been around half past five in the evening when he had arrived, but he hadn't expected it to get dark so quickly. It had still been light outside, hadn't it?

The lieutenant felt along his belt for the flashlight he had taken, just in case. He muttered and cursed as he fiddled with the flashlight in his hands.

The man nearly jumped out of his skin when the light flashed on and illuminated another person. "Shit!" He yelled, jumping back and hitting the wall. The other figure was clothed in a military uniform as well, their back facing Hughes. Despite what should have been startling commotion, they didn't move.

"Show yourself," Maes growled, whipping a knife into his hand. The figure held their hands in the air and slowly began to turn. As they turned, Maes could make out a box that had been lying on the counter before them. A single bottle was inside the box, uncapped with a funnel sticking out of it. The harsh smell of ammonia flowed from its direction, breaking through all of the smell of old basement.

"You should not be here." The voice spoke clearly, breaking through the air like a bright chiming bell. Maes felt stunned surprise and his eyes darted up to meet those of someone familiar. "This is not for you."

Mae's green eyes opened wide in absolute surprise. "Anderson? What are you doing here?" He questioned, stunned. For some reason, the hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up and a chill ripped through his body.

His coworker didn't react. Levi Anderson's jade eyes rolled and his mouth twisted into a grin so sinister that Hughes could almost feel his blood run cold. He took a hesitant step back, toward the stairs that he had just come from.

"Anderson?" He asked hesitantly, his hand gripping the throwing projectile so hard that his whole arm was shaking. It wasn't right. Something wasn't right, something was seriously wrong, and Hughes had a feeling he had stumbled on something that was far bigger than he could ever imagine. He took another step back, his whole body taking on the tenseness that his arm already owned. "Levu?" He tried again, more demanding than the first time, more threateningly.

Anderson's grin emitted a sultry laugh, before turning into a sneer. His glasses glinted in the light, seeming to almost change the color of his eyes. "Try again."

Hughes froze. He swore his heart stopped beating. Another hidden knife slipped into his palm to join the other.

The, the _thing_ had two voices. And the other one _definitely_ did _not_ belong to Levi. Without thinking, Hughes threw the knives. And _ran_.

He was almost fast enough.

* * *

The tumblers in the door clicked as it was unlocked, and the wooden structure was pushed open quietly. Edward walked in first and surveyed the foyer, silent and dark aside from the glow of the tree in the corner. Roy followed soon after, and Ed looked up to him.

_"Mom, how come? Why are they burying Daddy?"_

Roy shrugged off his coat and hung it, and Edward followed suit with his over-sized trench. A new one, black with a red flamel, the colors reversed. Golden eyes once again searched upwards, and Roy gazed down at him with no expression. He stroked his fingers down Edward's cheek and under his jaw, cupping there and brushing his thumb across the boy's lips. Ed pressed a kiss to the gloved digit, nuzzling closer to the hand and closing his eyes.

_"Who are those people? Why are they burying him? Why?"_

Roy slid his hand from Ed's jaw to his shoulder, and he squeezed gently. Golden eyes blinked rapidly as the boy slipped from the foyer and into the hallway. The Flame watched him go without a trace of emotion, before leaving the foyer and entering the great room. He stood staring at the tree with its dazzling lights. He felt so cold, so cold and so void of anything. He raised his hand without even thinking and snapped. The logs caught quickly and there was an instant crackling heat. He could hear Edward in the bathroom, a whimper and a sob, and then running water.

_"He's gone, baby."_

Despite the heat radiating from the flames, the colonel felt as cold as ever. He slipped from the great room to the kitchen, flicking on a light as he entered. He had hit the wrong one, the dim track lighting above the cabinets, but he didn't care. It fit his feeling just perfectly as he opened the cabinet above all the rest. He blindly reached for the first thing his hand touched and came down with an amber tinted bottle. He took his first swig straight from the source. It burned on the way down, lighting his throat on fire as he reached for a glass.

_"They can't. I don't like it"_

He was on his third glass by the time he heard the blonde exit the bathroom. The couch creaked as weight was added, and then all was quiet. Roy filled the glass halfway and placed the whiskey back into the cabinet, stirring the drink with his index finger. He exited the kitchen and walked over to where Edward was waiting for him. In the fire's orange light he could see the tear washed brightness of the golden eyes that followed his every move. Roy gently lowered himself next to the boy, taking another mouthful from his glass before placing it on the coffee table before him. The two men regarded each other with blank stares, as if they had no idea what should come next.

_"Daddy said he has lots of work to do and if they bury him he can't do it when he wakes up."_

He could feel the warmth of the alcohol filling him now, running lazily through his blood and reaching for every part of him it could. Screw laundry; lying in a pile of fresh towels could never make him this warm. The colonel reached for his glass and took another sip. Edward turned away and a tear ran down his cheek, though he didn't bother to wipe it away. He grabbed the older man's hand and laced their fingers together in an almost desperation. Roy held on as tightly as Ed even though it was the boy's automail hand; they looked so peculiar, metal and flesh, so strange it was perfect.

_"Daddy wake up!"_

They sat that way for several minutes, not looking at one another but not letting go. Roy eventually leaned forward to place his empty glass on the coffee table, an absolute numb seeming to take him over. Nothing but the crackling fire and the ticking clock could be heard, not even a wheeze from the sickly boy next to him.

But it was he who eventually broke the silence.

"This is so fucked up," Edward said, his voice cracking with each word. Roy couldn't react to the words. He couldn't say that he agreed even though he did, he couldn't even find the motivation to close his eyes. It was fucked up. So very fucked up that fucked up didn't seem to be a fucked up enough word to describe how fuckeded upped life was in that moment.

"Roy?" The boy whispered, squeezing the man's hand. The man looked down at the hand as if it were it that was summoning him. Edward used his other hand to reach over and lift the man's chin, raising the dark blue eyes to meet his golden ones. Roy regarded him in a dark sort of confused stare, keeping the contact even as the blonde let his hand fall away from Roy's face. "Was I this broken?"

Roy closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, Ed. You were worse."

The blonde buried his face in his hands, shaking his head from side to side. His shoulders shook and the voice that came out was so forceful that the colonel almost flinched. "I'm so sorry Roy. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Roy placed a hand on the teenager's head, trying to hold him still. "Ed..."

But the boy jerked away, shaking his head adamantly. "I should never have given him the address. If I hadn't, they wouldn't have ever have gone to the house, he wouldn't have gone by himself. He'd still be alive," Edward whispered, his voice full of the tears that Roy knew he wanted to keep to himself.

"Edward Elric, don't you dare. I don't want to hear it, and I know sure as hell he wouldn't want to, either," Roy snapped, a flare of anger rising within him.

"But it is," the boy whispered, looking at his hands and not taken aback by Roy's tone of voice at all. "This is how it always is, how it always will be." He clutched his hands into two fists, looking up at Roy with an expression so raw with feeling that it felt as if it went straight to Roy's heart.

He opened his arms and beckoned the boy over, enclosing him in a strong embrace when the teenager complied. He was tense and shaking, a combination of the emotion he was holding in and probably as well as not wearing enough clothing. Roy laid his chin on the blonde head below his. "If ever there was a living guilt machine, it would be you."

"You don't get it, Roy," the Fullmetal mumbled into his shirt, such a weak excuse that it was obvious even Ed himself didn't believe it.

"Edward," the colonel whispered softly, lifting the boy's chin with a finger. Big golden eyes tried to avoid his gaze, but Roy waited patiently until their eyes met. "You can't feel that everything is your fault unless you feel all powerful."

"I just…I…" Edward tried, his voice breaking as he fumbled for the words. "Alphonse was all I had, and when he was gone I turned to you. And that's okay, nothing that's going on is your doing. But, but all you had before me was Hughes." Ed began to sniff and wipe his eyes. "I've left you with nobody."

And then Ed was in his lap, straddling his hips, and burying his face into Roy's shoulder. He cried quietly, the only thing giving that fact away being his shaking shoulders. The colonel vaguely remembered this scene, feeling the déjà vu striking him from the day that Alphonse died. But this time he held the teenager with confidence, enveloping Edward in a safe place that the boy only had to leave when he was ready.

The kiss started innocently, and neither meant for it to be more than that.

But as the heat between them grew and tongues learned each other well, hands began to wander. It was hot and it was new and it was all the distraction that they would need, that they _needed_. It took all of Roy' self control to not buck his hips against the ones hovering so welcomingly above his own.

But the Flame froze, feeling as if he were going where he shouldn't. His gloves hands were resting possessively on Edward Elric's hips, as if he had been about to pull the boy down onto him. He was growing increasingly aroused and could feel the restraint he had so carefully built throughout the weeks fraying. The alcohol hummed gently through his veins and his mind was fighting to keep up with his senses. His ego, as watered down as it currently was, was still able to tell him that it was wrong. Here he was, stricken with grief and bordering on drunk and coupled with a guilt ridden and irrational minor subordinate, both of them unable to think clearly.

_'You would be taking advantage of him. Look at him, look at you. You've spent all this time being his comfort, his companion, his voice of reason and the only one who can keep him from going over the edge. He trusts you, and though neither of you are stable now, you still have some sense. You would be taking ADVANTAGE OF HIM.'_

Edward looked down at him with some sort of panicked confusion. He tried to push himself closer, struggling against the strength of Roy's arms and growing increasingly upset the longer the pause went. "Roy," he whimpered, his eyes wide and eyebrows knitted together. After a few failed attempts, he managed to latch onto Roy's shoulders and forcefully pull the man to him.

"Please, Roy. I'm not saying no. Don't turn into a good boy on me now."

It was okay then, wasn't it? This boy, sobbing and writhing in his lap, asking and pleading for something that Roy would be more than happy to give, had given him permission. Wasn't it enough? What more could he ask the boy to say or do? Sign a fucking contract?

And suddenly Roy was kissing him again, lips enveloping his in warmth, body enveloping his in protection. He wrapped his arms around the small body above him and stood, struggling somewhat against the weight of Ed's automail but the blonde seemed to understand and clung to Roy with his legs, laying most of his weight onto Roy's hips. The stairs didn't even seem to matter. The Flame even managed to multitask as his lips found the boy's neck, and Edward moaned as he laid his cheek on Roy's shoulder. He knew he should have felt exhausted by the time he reached the top of the staircase, but he couldn't find it within himself to notice. The one clinging to his body was making far too many beautiful sounds and wriggling his lithe body in every way he could.

As he reached his bedroom door, Roy may have kicked it down in all the desperation he was in. But the blonde, sensing this, reached his angelic hand down and turned the knob. The same trailed from Roy's hip and back up to his shoulder, clutching there and they moved into the room.

The older man lowered Edward and himself onto his bed, keeping lip contact as they sank into the mattress. Although Ed released an arm from Roy's shoulders, he held fast to the man's neck, pulling them both deeper into a kiss that was already on the verge of becoming their undoing.

Roy's hands, now free, went right to work tugging the teenager's shirt free from his pants, and the golden alchemist breathlessly arched his back to make the job easier. As soon as the fabric was fully untucked, the colonel's right hand found its way up, drawing light circles across Edward's stomach and chest.

The older man abandoned the major's lips in favor of his neck, kissing softly across the sensitive skin. Such attentions to his chest and belly and neck had Ed letting his breaths out in short little puffs, escaping with them soft little sounds that were making Roy dizzy. He pulled away to get some air, and looked at the small body beneath him.

Edward was stretched out in all of his clothed glory, and his hair had come loose and was giving him a golden halo that spilled silkily over the pillows. His automail arm was lying out above him, resting against the headboard while his other arm was trying to pull the colonel back down. Confused by the retreating affections, the teenager dropped his grip to Roy's sleeve, tugging insistently.

All Roy could hear was a persistently sweet, sad keening.

And at that moment, Roy didn't care. He didn't care that it Ed had only been his for under two months. He didn't care if they were in this for the right reasons. He didn't _care_.

He leaned down and ghosted his lips across the boys, using his hands to hike Edward's shirt up higher and higher. But as Roy gathered the teen's shirt in his hands, he was met with slight visible resistance. Edward's golden eyes had opened and bored into his own, wide and piercing through the dim lighting. _"Can I trust you?"_ They seemed to ask. Edward raised his arms but did not look away and allowed the material to be lifted over his head.

His tan skin had paled from all of his time indoors, and his muscle tone had gone down due to his inactivity. His ribs shown clearly, and each painful rise and fall of his chest was easy to see. He had scars upon scars criss crossing his chest and limbs, some old and faint and some newer and dark. The tissue around his automail was raised and knotted and was to remain so forever.

He was gorgeous.

The rest of their clothes were shed without a second thought. Edward was so skilled at working Roy's clothing off with his flesh hand while his automail hand gave attention to Roy's back that the man was thanking the heavens that he had switched the IV to Edward's elbow the day before. And it was strange, how being naked with a subordinate should have been a cause for bashfulness from at least Edward, but it wasn't. The boy was calm and amazingly relaxed, cooing each time the colonel touched him, moaning when his mouth hit a spot, and even reciprocating some of what Roy did to him. Their bodies whispered through the silken sheets, trading heated affections and trading dominance, becoming a mutual being of loving kisses and soft touches that elicited the softest of sounds from the both of them.

When the colonel came up with a bottle of lube, the sound of the cap opening drew Edward's eyes open to meet the dark blue ones that hovered above him. He cocked his head to the side, hand snaking down to snatch the bottle from a very surprised colonel. But in no time a warm hand with cool oil had found its way to his member, and Roy quickly went from surprise to a brain that was liquefied. How could it be that this young subordinate was driving these sounds from him?

He leaned forward and placed a kiss onto the blonde's forehead, whose hand abandoned his slightly disappointed extremity and took up post lightly gripping the colonel's shoulder. Edward arched up and ground his naked hips against Roy's, their heat touching and rubbing.

Roy groaned and pulled back a bit, lining himself up. The younger alchemist, who had gotten the hint, stopped the rubbing and began stoically still.

Edward was unbelievably relaxed, digging his feet into the sheets and pushing his hips up to make everything all the more easy. And for a split second, Roy wondered how the boy could know how to do this, to place himself just so and to do it in such a calm manner, no thought needed. After all, it had only been a short time ago that the young alchemist had been uncomfortable with a minimal amount of contact. But it was fleeting, and it left him quickly as he leaned forward and become one with the being below him.

They both whimpered and cried, sobs intermixing with moans as their hips clashed. They gritted their teeth and breathlessly spoke of each other's names, moving and moving until the heat bloomed into sweat and they both felt the animal rise within them.

And as Roy lay there, with Edward curled up at his side, he felt the guilt already beginning to stir within him. But as he brushed a swathe of golden hair away from his lover's face, something deep and warm pulled in his chest. He froze. His stomach twisted.

"What is it you're doing to me?" He whispered, running a pale hand down the boy's cheek. Edward's mesmerizing eyes cracked open, regarding Roy's dark gaze with a sated peacefulness, before closing again.

He wouldn't be sleeping tonight.


	17. Chapter 17: Compensation

**A/N:** As we all know, we all have lives. And at times they do get busy, and I apologize for my busy-ness. But it is spring break and I cranked this out just for you guys.

**Special thanks to:** Claudere Foris, JacktheMetal, Mysterious Daughter of Sparda, Eternal Love's Eclipse, Leigh, Felicano Vargas, KillersLikeCandy, Fullmetal Angyl (THANK YOU for the laughs), ChibiCukeNeko, Shane (you gave me a heart attack because my boyfriend's name is Shane and I thought he'd found my fanfiction), TehDonutSecks, Dream Theme, foreverforgotten5, iheartanime07, Psycho Anime, ZemyxDexion, DanielDeathnote, kazeyaoilover, PutThatAway, Anatidae, DunTouchIt, Mama Muse, and Hawk Cold Eyes. Thank you for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it!

* * *

**Chapter 17:** Compensation

Edward sat silently at the edge of the bed, legs hanging down over the side, and eyes downcast and vacant. His hair was falling out of its usually neat braid, the loose hairs joining his bangs and obscuring much of his vision, not to mention Roy's own view of his face. He wore a loose white t-shirt and black pajama pants that hung too long over his feet and nearly touched the floor.

The colonel stood at his bed side table, sticking a needle through the stopper of a vial and sucking the clear liquid from it. He had an almost elegant look to him, dark eyes so intently focused on the task before him and a needle cap held lightly in his teeth. He filled the small syringe to the red line that had been appointed by the doctor, and then pulled the needle free and placed the empty glass vial into a sharps box. He flicked the needle a few times, stopping only when liquid began to leak from the needle.

It had been exceptionally awkward for the colonel at first, the act of sticking not so small needles into his subordinate's arm. The only thought that could make him feel a hint better about his new line of work was that Edward was being stuck in an equally, if not greater, unwanting position. Not only did the teenager not so discretely hold an excessive fear of the pointy and sharp, but the colonel knew Edward wouldn't trust him even as far as he could throw him, and that was on a good day. Considering the blonde could wipe the floor with Roy at any time for any provocation, even in his current state of ill health if he truly wanted to, Roy found it a small miracle that Edward would openly offer his arm to anyone, let alone him.

"Be ready," Roy said, more of a command than a suggestion with the element of a lisp to it due to having to speak around the cap. Edward acknowledged his superior officer by tensing up, his shoulders nervously drawing themselves forward, but he held his place despite.

Roy's teeth gripped the cap of the needle more soundly, and after some aim sank the long needle into Ed's arm. The teenager flinched but otherwise did his best to stay still, holding his breath as every muscle in his body became taut. The colonel then began to push the plunger in, releasing the medication ever so slowly. The pressure from the fluid being injected into his arm made Edward's muscles protest loudly, but it was by no means the worst feeling in the world. At least he knew that much for sure.

Roy waited until he was sure the syringe was completely empty before pulling it free. Edward flinched at the feeling, a hiss escaping his teeth. His dark haired pseudo doctor carefully placed a bandage on the puncture site, smoothing its sticky edges flat over the ridge of the boy's still muscular arm.

The older alchemist popped the cap back on the syringe and placed it into the sharps box to keep the vial company. "You're done," he said monotonously, rolling the discarded pieces of the bandage into a small ball. "Flex your arm for five minutes. Put the IV back in after an hour. You know the drill."

Ed nodded quietly and began to flex his arm, his head lowered and eyes still unfocused towards the floor.

The colonel observed him for a moment, eyebrows knit together. He then turned and closed the sharps box with enough momentum to not only make it snap but to shake the whole table, causing the lamp to crash to the hardwood floor. The light bulb burst on impact, managing to stay mostly contained by the lampshade though a few slivers of white glass pinged to the floor.

Again Edward flinched, squeezing his eyes shut and turning his head away. An indifferent Mustang grabbed the sharps container by its handle, his legs brushing the boy's knees as he made his pass by and continued on to the door leading to the hallway. He paused there and looked over his shoulder, tapping his finger on the door frame to get the teenager's attention. Said teenager looked up slowly, golden eyes gone of brilliance and mouth in a flat line.

"I'm going to go make dinner. You've been in bed all day, and I expect to see you downstairs at the table, okay?" The colonel said softly, his husky voice reaching no further than his target's ear.

Ed nodded.

Roy nodded back.

He slipped through the doorway, his socked feet leaving him no more than a silent ghost in someone's house. The box felt like a million pound lead weight in his arms and the hallway seemed to keep getting longer with every step he took. His chest began to ache, but he couldn't muster up the energy to let it show on his face. He didn't make it but halfway to the stairs before he could hear the blonde, his face probably buried in a pillow, scream.

* * *

Each action Roy made was methodical, and he tried desperately to make it nothing more than that. He delivered the pasta to the kitchen table, setting the steaming serving dish down onto a woven mat before dropping the potholders to the edge of the table. He could feel that knowledgeable golden gaze tracking his every movement, piercing through his very soul and analyzing every thought that dared break through and show itself on Roy's famously masked face. A snappish comment was forming deep within Roy's chest, designing itself to divert those intelligent eyes, but he bit it off at the last second. A soft, worried frown was dipped between the boy's eyebrows and Roy couldn't find it within himself to act on anger at such a caring emotion.

Edward had shown up between the finishing of the tossed salad and then the serving of the pasta, his ever lengthening braid damp and clothes changed. It almost surprised Roy, how normal the young major looked and how long it had been since he had. He felt a twinge in his chest when he realized, aside from the brief escape attempt, it had been all those weeks ago; when Roy had not only seen the boy in his office but off to the hospital as well.

Edward hadn't truly bothered with normality since his brother died.

"Not planning another escape, I hope," Roy said dryly, taking a seat across from the blonde and observing him critically. Leather pants and thick soled boots clung to his lower extremities, and a dark tank top peeked out from underneath a matching jacket. The only thing that had changed was the fact that the boy had just left his jacket open, giving the colonel his answer.

Ed snorted and waved him off, grabbing his plate and beginning to fill it, though minimally. "I'm sore and I feel like shit. I'm not going anywhere," he said dully, confirming the older alchemist's suspicions as he reached for the sauce ladle.

"Just making sure," the older man replied with a sigh, watching as Edward poured the meat sauce over his spaghetti portion. His automail hand clinked on the tongs when he reached for the salad, picking through the tossed vegetables to avoid whatever it was he didn't like. Probably the red onions.

As soon as the Flame deemed that Edward had enough on his plate, he reached for the spaghetti himself.

"Mustang, you cook well, but you have no sense of aesthetics," the blonde said, and Roy looked up in confusion. Edward was gesturing to the last bowl on the table, a small side dish that was clearly meant all for him. One of his eyebrows was cocked and he looked unamused. "Apples and spaghetti?"

The colonel mimicked his subordinate's expression, albeit tending a bit more to the irritated side. "You need all of the nutrients you can get. You have your grain, vegetable, and meat. You need a fruit," the colonel explained, ladling a healthy amount of sauce over his pasta. "Perhaps your lack of a balanced diet has something to do with-"

"I dare you. Say it," the teenager said threateningly, raising his fork and pointing it at his superior. Roy had no doubt that Edward would throw if provoked, and since the fork had already found its way through spaghetti, the colonel had no desire to receive such a dirty wound.

So instead he simply sighed, adding some salad to his own plate, red onions and all. "Just eat your food."

And so it went as such for a few quiet minutes, with nothing but the clinking of silverware on plates and Edward's metallic fingers on his glass of water. Even with sickness knocking down his front door, Ed had always eaten as if the food before him would sprout legs and make a run for it. In the past, if a bib had not been involved, one could tell what the blonde had last eaten until Alphonse could forcefully pull him out of his dirty clothes. Roy could have even sworn that some time ago he had seen the young alchemist unhinge his jaw to forego having to chew.

But now, spaghetti was silently twirled around the fork, a reasonable bite-sized amount of salad was speared, and Edward's jacket sleeve remained untouched in favor of the napkin sitting beside his plate. Roy knew what was coming before the major opened his mouth, and the tell-tale clink of his silverware on the table punctuated the boy being finished with his dinner. "I don't feel well," Ed said quietly, golden eyes flicking off to the side.

"You'll feel worse if you don't eat," Roy snapped, reciprocating one of Ed's habits and using his fork as a pointer for emphasis.

Edward's eyes flew to focus on the older man, showing vague hurt but quickly adapting to the teenager's usual scowl. "I can't. This is nauseating," he said quietly, pushing his half-eaten plate further to the center of the table. He was clearly looking to get Roy's attention, as the older man knew that if it had been no big deal he would have just gotten up and left.

"Edward," Roy said in low warning, his voice soft but powerful.

"I'm not fucking around Mustang. This is making me sick," Ed replied, resting his elbows on the table. They locked eyes, one set knowing and defiant, and the darker set irritated and questioning. "Your best friend is dead and you aren't dealing with it."

"_Stop._" Roy's command was bold, a thick brick wall that threatened to not so kindly smack Edward in the face if the opportunity arose. But despite his brave façade, the colonel felt as if someone had just tipped a bucket of cold water over his head, and before he could mask the feeling he knew the blonde had seen.

"No!" Ed shouted, slamming his hands on the table. His silverware jumped and a spoon clattered to the floor that either went ignored or quickly dismissed. Ed was struggling to maintain his labored breathing, but it was not his greatest forte and if the colonel hadn't been so shocked by the young man's outburst he would have pointed out that the neighbors could probably hear his wheezing from down the street. The blonde jumped to his feet, his body language growing increasingly aggressive as he whipped out an automail finger to point in the colonel's direction. "You made me deal with Alphonse! You made me accept it, made me wallow in my misery until there was nothing left to do but get up! And now you're going to fucking disregard your own fucking advice, dust yourself off of Hughes's memory, and keep on walking!"

Roy let his fork fall to his plate, spaghetti still wrapped around and waiting to be eaten. He struggled to hold Edward captive with his intense eyes, but the boy had already seen through him and he knew it was hopeless. He sighed. "You have no idea, Edward," he said quietly, folding his hands on the table.

But it was a damn lie, and they both knew it.

"You have to fall to get back up, Mustang," Ed said, hunching his shoulders forward and staring intently at his superior officer. "You haven't even done laundry," he said lowly, eyes fierce. "You did laundry when your brother died."

"It's not the same, Ed."

"You did fucking laundry when we found Alphonse's letter. You don't have an excuse," Ed countered.

Roy struggled to gain control over his breathing. All of the pain and anguish over the last few days spun through his muddled mind, rising to a ring in his ears. Roy put a palm over one of his ears, but the sound stayed, and he looked up to Ed to see if the teenager could hear it too. But the confrontational alchemist only stared back, his stern expression turning somewhat somber.

"He died trying to help my brother," Edward said simply. Roy's breath hitched in his throat. "I know part of you not dealing with it is because you know where the blame lies."

Roy dropped his hand from his ear to his lap, his chest tight and unforgiving. It felt as if his head was too small for his mind, which had expanded to the edge of threatening to burst through his skull. The ringing persisted, his face felt hot even though he knew he was cold, and suddenly the world was so small. Nothing existed outside of this table; he and Edward were sharing the same bubble, and there was no way out. "Ed, I-"

Ed closed his eyes, face turned to the side as he held up his automail hand. "No, Roy, stop. I don't want to be comforted." He gingerly lowered himself to the wooden dining chair, his face pinched with not only annoyance but worry. "For the past few days since he died you've been treating me like I'm this delicate piece of china that you don't want to accidentally break. You've been restraining yourself to a fault and it's bugging the hell out of me."

Roy looked up and locked eyes with Ed, his eyebrow furrowed. His hand that had been lying on the table clenched into a fist. "You're wrong."

"Then prove me wrong!" The golden boy snapped.

Roy's blue eyes ignited, and the anger and frustration that the boy so often instilled in him spilled from his lips. "What about you, Ed? How are _you_ dealing with it?" He asked, a comment which meant well on paper but was barbed in tone, each word a sharp edge.

For a moment, Ed looked stunned. His narrowed golden eyes opened wide, his shoulders took on a slump, and his fist melted into an open palm, as if all of the tension was stolen from him. It was a sure fire sign of weakness, it was all Roy needed to continue.

"Whenever you open your mouth all you do is press your guilt. All you do is think about yourself. You don't think about _him_."

They both sat in a long silence. Roy was adamant in his glare while Edward was looking confused and wounded, observing each other like they were from different sides of the world. But as the accusation settled it weighed the air down, pulling it taught like a rope about to break. Eventually both of the men felt themselves weak and shaking, all emotion that had exhausted them wiped from their faces. Edward was the first to speak, his voice rough and uneven.

"Armstrong said he had a picture of Elysia in his pocket," Ed whispered. He fiddled with a loose thread on the edge of his placemat, the corners of his mouth turned down.

Roy's face softened and the guilt of what he had just done began to sink through his skin and to his core. How could he? Was Edward's rashness wearing off on him? Or was it really within him to behave so cruelly?

"He said that, when the bullet went through his back and he fell, it slipped out. Said he managed to die holding her." The teenager swallowed and looked up at Roy. His eyes were bright and shiny, the dimming sunlight from the windows swimming through what was left of the tears he had managed to blink away. "He's really gone, isn't he?"

Roy nodded, feeling the four day old knot in his throat tighten.

Edward's eyes narrowed, his brow furrowed. He lowered himself from the chair, abandoning the remainder of his dinner and stomping away. A few moments later he stomped back in, grabbed the bowl of apples, and exited just as noisily as he had the first time, except this time he added in a nice little stink eye in Roy's direction.

Roy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, pale fingers fanning out to cover his left cheek. The footfalls echoed through the great room, climbed the stairs with some difficulty, and were still audible down the hall until the door to his master suite was slammed shut.

The colonel ate the rest of his plate in silence, rinsing it off when he finished and placing it in the sink. He leaned on the granite countertop on his elbows, observing the setting before him. Everywhere on Edward's side of the table was as he had left it. Plate unfinished, silverware askew; although he had been neat with himself he clearly still had difficulty with keeping the area around his plate clean. The chair the blonde had been sitting in was hastily pushed up against the wall, under the chair rail. It would probably leave a mark.

Roy sighed. He was always such an ass to that boy.

He filled Edward's plate back up and wrapped it in plastic wrap before placing it in the fridge. He didn't bother separating the salad and the pasta, as Ed would be just as happy to finish his dinner cold anyway. And as moody and miserable as the teenager was now, Roy new that in a few hours his stomach would be more opinionated than his mouth.

The colonel worked quietly, storing the remainder of the dinner in the fridge and neatening up all that had been misplaced. He worked as methodically as he had to prepare, breaking it all down in his mind step by step until all that was left we dirty dishes in the sink when he flicked off the light.

Roy walked tentatively up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom, opening the door and not at all surprised to find the curtains drawn. A single candle flickered on the bedside table beside an Edward looking lump under the covers. The IV stand was the definite giveaway in the end, leaving Roy in awe by being on a steady drip.

He padded across the hardwood floor, skipping the board that squeaked even though he knew Edward was aware of his presence. The kid was always on high alert, and his assumption was proven when he sank into the mattress and Ed didn't move. He could see the back of Edward's head, his braid disheveled from trying to get comfortable. The comforter was so thick that Roy couldn't see the rise and fall of the boy's breathing, but he could hear each raspy and struggled intake of air.

He swung his legs up onto the bed, fighting the urge to pull back the covers and lie underneath them alongside Edward, knowing that it was probably the last thing the teenager wanted. He had isolated himself in a comforter cocoon anyway, and the chances of Roy being able to unwrap him without causing damage to come to himself were little to none. So instead he lay on his side, facing the stubbornly isolated alchemist and propped up on his elbow.

"Lazy bones," Roy whispered, running a hand down Edward's back. He could feel the alchemist tense up beneath his light touch, arching his body away from the friendly hand. A nervous smile twitched at the corners of Roy's mouth, and yet he pressed on with his touch. The sheets were silky smooth but warm against his palm, a contrast to the boy's chilly front. "It's unhealthy to lie in bed all day."

"Like you have a right to talk about unhealthy," the boy retorted, again contorting his body to escape the colonel's hand. "And quit petting me like I'm a damn dog."

Roy stopped with a frown, and let his hand fall to the sheets. Edward's intangible hackles were standing at attention, ready to pierce through the colonel's limbs if he insisted in physical contact. So instead he sighed and rolled over on his back, left hand lying dangerously close to a blonde who he knew was capable of dealing appreciative damage. "You scared me the first few nights," Roy said quietly. It was times like these when it was actually possible to get to the young alchemist with words and not touch, in example simply smacking him upside the head. But luckily, verbal communication was the older man's forte, so he would save the head smacking for later. "You wouldn't wake up. And when you seemed almost conscious, you were crying out. Reaching for someone." He paused, feeling guilty in his confession. Ed turned his head slightly to study his superior with molten yellow eyes. "But all I did was pull the blankets back up to cover you."

Ed closed his eyes and sighed, turning back toward the direction he had been facing. "I can't remember much. Those sedatives they give kill," he said, sounding unoffended and yet a bit embarrassed by Roy's disclosure. "They gave those to my mother when they knew she was going to die," he added with a bit of hesitation, giving the Flame a secret of his own in return. The blonde had made a connection and thought he was going to die. He had been scared.

Roy laid the back of his hand on his subordinate's back in a silent apology, feeling the teen shift uncomfortably beneath him. "The doctors were skeptical. They knew sending you home with me could kill you; I'm not a nurse, and I'm certainly not a doctor," he said, his voice husky. The colonel turned his hand over to lie on the boy's hip, curling his hand over the curve of Ed's body. "But you've been in that hospital before. They know who you are, and they also know that you wouldn't stand to stay there. You would kill yourself wanting to get out." He put some weight into his hand, attempting to move the mountain.

"Mother wouldn't go to one, either," Edward continued. He gave in to the pressure at his side, allowing Roy to roll him onto his back. However, he refused to meet the dark gaze beside him. Which was just fine with the colonel, who wasn't concerned with being held captive by the look he knew was in those eyes. "People go to hospitals to die. If I have to die, it's not going to be lying in one of those places."

"You always seem so sure you're going to die."

"It's going to happen sooner or later, Roy. To everyone." Ed bit his bottom lip, working his teeth over the sensitive flesh and Roy watched out of the corner of his eye. The blonde let go of his lip and sighed, closing his eyes. "You have to make it all count for something."

Roy turned his head to the left to fill his vision with the boy beside him. Edward's eyes were still closed, blonde lashes mingling and their length so long that they almost touched his cheeks. The candle flickered on the bedside table, dancing about the wall and giving Edward a low but glowing silhouette. Roy laid his arm across the boy's chest, causing Ed's eyes to open.

"Do you think it was right? What we did?" The older alchemist questioned, dark eyes scanning every inch of the boy's face he could see. He received no immediate response other than furrowed golden eyebrows. Roy pushed himself up on his elbow, anxiety spreading from his brain to the rest of him as he took in the image of a contemplative Edward. After a long moment of silence, Roy felt something deadly sink into his chest. "I'm sorry," he said, voice hushed, head and eyes falling.

"I'm not," Ed replied almost immediately, head snapping toward the colonel. His brow was a stern line, his eyes fierce in light of the truth in his voice. "I _asked_ you to, Roy. I _gave_ you permission. The reasons may not have been clear, but don't be sorry."

"We were both so vulnerable. We weren't thinking clearly."

Ed shrugged as best as he could in his lying position. "People hurt. We both hurt. We found that commonality, we care for each other. It happens," he said as easily as if he were reading a script. But there was no script, and golden eyes weren't reading anything but Roy's face. Which, he at that moment realized, had probably never shown emotion so clearly. And if the situation hadn't been so serious he probably would have turned pink from head to toe.

"I didn't take advantage of you?"

"You are not someone else. You are Roy, and I just needed to know it was you. And as long as it was you, I'm glad."

The older alchemist rubbed his free hand down his face, rapping his knuckles a few times in the temple. "I still feel like an idiot."

Ed cracked the first smile the colonel had seen in four days. It was small and almost too quick to catch, but it was there and Roy felt relief run through him. "Well, then we're both idiots," the blonde tried to reason, causing the older alchemist to snort in un-amusement.

"I'm the adult here," Roy snapped.

"Now who's the guilt machine?" Ed retorted. "Besides, we both know I am too."

"Not always," the colonel murmured, his words resonating throughout the quiet room. They hung there for a moment, twisting throughout the dim light before sinking in. Ed snorted but offered no other answer.

"I'm sorry," Roy said, gaining the attention of question golden eyes. "For what I said earlier," he elaborated, officially swallowing his pride. But he knew it was the right thing to do. "You were right. I'm not dealing with it."

Ed, who would have loved to hear those words half an hour ago, shook his head. "No. I wasn't," he disagreed, his face taking on a more somber expression. He closed his eyes and stuck his nose in the air; clearly defiance hiding embarrassment. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Edward, it's okay," the older man replied, barely getting his few words out before Edward snapped his response in.

"I beg to differ. It was none of my business," Ed countered, flipping over to his earlier position, facing the wall. The comforter had begun to slip down his side, giving the Flame a view of the labored rise and fall of his side. Roy reached a hand out and laid it on Ed's ribs which caused the boy to tense and purposefully slow his breathing.

"You were just speaking your mind, like I've encouraged all along." Roy rested his hand on Ed's shoulder and stroked the boy's cheek with his thumb. "What I did wasn't okay. What you did, well, it was," he said, meaning for his words to sound reassuring. However, the blonde didn't take it as much and huffed indignantly.

"Will you _stop_ it? It's not, got it?" Ed said, his tone all sharp edges as he pointedly pulled his shoulder away. He pulled the earthy green comforter back up to his ear as if to say 'conversation over'.

Roy sighed, watching the back of Ed's defiant head. He rolled on his back, rolling his dark eyes to the ceiling and sighing again, loudly. "Sometimes I don't know what to do with you."

"Roy?" Asked a muffled voice from beside his shoulder. Roy looked down to find that somehow Edward had rolled over to completely face him without any displacement in the bed. He felt his heart sink at the thought, realizing that Ed could only do so because of his weight loss. "Sometimes, I don't either." The comforter had wrapped itself over the blonde's mouth, but he hadn't bothered to pull it away. The nurse that had been instilled in the colonel repeatedly insisted that he move the blanket, as Edward wouldn't and what if he couldn't breathe, and oh that couldn't be good for him.

Roy's lips twitched into a small smile, and he removed the blanket from Ed's mouth to the relief of his mother hen self. "I know, I see that happen a lot."

"Shut up," Ed grumbled, but he kissed the back of Roy's hand when it passed his lips.

They laid like that for a few quiet minutes, just taking in each other as well as their roundabout apologies. Roy's fingers slid through silky golden bangs over and over again

"Hey Ed?" Roy asked quietly, rubbing his thumb and forefinger over the blonde's earlobe.

"Yeah?"

"I would…uh, really appreciate your reality checks. If you would like to give them," the dark haired man said hesitated, adding the last part of the sentence in haste. A husky chuckle escaped his subordinate, a warm rush of air whispering across Roy's next.

"Stupid. You've done that much for me and more," Ed whispered against Roy's chest. He snuggled up closer to the adult male body lying sturdy next to him, and sighed. "You don't need to ask."

* * *

Winter had never been so beautiful.

Roy and Ed strolled through the throng of people, the noon sun beating down on them as they weaved in and out of the bustling midday crowd. The colonel walked confident and tall, his black coat flowing behind him and hands in his pockets. Dressed in his usual trench coat, Edward sauntered as best as he could after the older alchemist while attempting to stuff a whole pretzel into his mouth.

The sky was clear and cloudless, reflecting off of the bay to their right and lightening the color of the typically dark waters. The temperature was a nearly unheard of forty-one degrees fahrenheit, and all of the unappealing dirty slush had melted away, cleaning the streets as it had gone. A light wind smelling of spring caressed whatever its fingers could touch, combing through Edward's bangs as the boy turned his head to smile up at Roy.

Yes, it was certainly a beautiful day.

"Nice to get you out of the house, huh?" Roy asked, returning the boy's smile. Edward rolled his eyes in good humor but nodded, loose strands of his hair bobbing in the wind.

"Uh-huh," he crooned, his mouth full. He bit another large chunk of the pretzel off, choking in his haste to make his snack disappear.

"You ought to be careful," Roy warned, reaching for the pretzel only to have it snatched away by a teeth-baring blonde. "You need a lot of oxygen in those lungs, not salty bread."

"Do that again and be prepared to lose your hand," Ed snapped, again ducking away from Roy's grasp and popping the remainder of his snack into his mouth. He threw his arms in the air, eyebrows dipped and nose wrinkled, humorously telling the colonel to 'bring it!' in the middle of the stone street.

And so the colonel 'brought it' by placing his elbow on top of Edward's audacious head, leaning on him like the top-board-of-the-short-fence height Edward was. The blonde furiously chewed and swallowed before swinging his automail fist up, barely catching under the Flame's upper arm as the man pulled away.

"You will lose your arm as well," Ed snapped. His hands were raised in the stance Roy knew his Teacher must have taught him, and having met her once the man didn't want to tempt any of her techniques to the surface.

"Why so offended down there?" He asked, copyrighted smirk in place. Oops, guess he did.

"Why's your head so sore?" Ed asked innocently, taking a step toward the colonel. His golden eyes were big and wide, eyebrows turned up, but his body was taut and ready. Even under the boy's many layers, the colonel could tell. So Roy backed away with his hands up in surrender, shaking his head.

"Okay Edward, easy," he warned, lowering his hands somewhat when he noticed a market stall keeper looking at them worriedly. Ed scowled and approached him one step closer, as begging for mercy after a height joke was not something he normally went for. The older alchemist shook his head, eyes narrow. "We don't need any extra attention out here," he said lowly, lowering the blonde's hands with his own.

The blonde snorted but obliged, his shoulders sagging. He stuffed his gloved hands into his pockets, giving the stall keeper a look annoyed enough to freeze water. But then Roy saw his intelligent golden eyes flick to the right for a brief moment, and then narrow. "Come on," he said, trudging on ahead.

Roy quirked an eyebrow but did what was asked of him. If the weather was cold as it should have been, the man was sure Edward's head would be steaming. It was mostly his fault for getting him so worked up, so he allowed Ed to take the lead and work it off. The colonel did however walk a bit slower than usual in an attempt to keep his subordinate from over exerting himself, which seemed to be working decently. Edward was huffing and puffing, but in all plausibility it wouldn't surprise Roy to find it was caused by the short joke.

They had walked a block of the market before Edward started to calm down, picking his feet up as he walked as his annoyed breathing slowed. Roy decided it was a good time to break their comfortable silence, slipping his hands in his pockets. "How do you feel about today?" He asked, referring to their late morning adventure.

This prompted Edward to stop staring at the ground, and he looked straight ahead thoughtfully. "It was nice going to see him," he said, his voice on the quiet side. He clasped his hands behind his back, looking up at Roy. "On our own, I mean. Without all of those stuffy people."

The colonel nodded, looking down at the teenager with a soft expression. "He would have loved that picture you left him."

"Yeah, well," Ed mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "It was my twelfth birthday and the day Elysia was born and well, just a good day," he finished, embarrassed.

"It's all we can do to remember the good," the Flame murmured, looking up to the sky. Ed cocked his head to the side to give Roy a peculiar look, mouth open in the start of a question.

"O-oh," Ed stuttered suddenly, grabbing Roy's sleeve and dragging him around to walk the other way. The colonel stumbled and only followed along due to the necessity he felt to not fall down. The pair made a large arc through the crowd and ended up walking the opposite way down the other side of the stone street.

"What the _hell_, Ed?" Roy barked, regaining his balance and jerking his arm away with a glare.

Ed fumbled with his words for a moment, mouth opening and closing as he looked from left to right. "You need bread!" He exclaimed, snapping his fingers, eyebrows up and eyes expansive. "Yeah, it looked like you were running out."

Roy raised an eyebrow and caught the young alchemist by the hood of his trench coat, dragging the boy back. "I just filled the bread box yesterday while you were moping around upstairs." He released Ed's hood and had to almost jog to keep up with the blonde's new found grandpa power walk.

The Power Walking Alchemist feigned confusion (badly) and tapped his bottom lip as the market stalls blurred past. "Are you sure? I didn't see it,"

"Probably because you couldn't see over the counter," Roy grumbled, knowing well that Ed was full of it.

"Fuck you."

Roy snagged the red coat and its wearer by both shoulders, effectively stilling the young alchemist. He then leaned forward, just enough to be sure that his words would be taken in without mistake. "We've got enough at home to last for the rest of the week," he said slowly, letting the end of the sentence snap like a rubber band.

Ed glanced over his shoulder quickly, and then nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right, we ought to be going the other way then," he blabbered and pulled another one-eighty degree arc, a perplexed colonel in tow.

"Edward, what the hell has gotten into you?" Roy asked, exasperated. The teenager's body was rigid with nerves, turning his usual flow into a mass of jerky movements. His jaw was set, the cords of muscle in his neck flexing. "Ed?"

"Someone's been following us," Ed replied, voice low.

The older man furrowed his eyebrows, face incredulous. "What?"

"Idiot, you haven't caught on?" The young major asked in disbelief. Roy raised his eyebrows and shrugged, feeling a bit unconcerned. Edward was always on the lookout, which was fueled by his survival gene that operated off of paranoia, and in the years that he'd known him Roy had seen Ed jump at more shadows than a frightened horse. The Paranoid Alchemist pretended to be very interested in a rock he passed, looking over his shoulder and then back in front of him. "The tall guy in the long black coat."

Roy looked over his shoulder to locate the stranger, and Ed jerked on his arm, causing him to stumble. "Don't stare you idiot!" He hissed, glaring daggers straight into his superior officer's face. But Mustang had seen the figure in question, and so he stroked his imaginary beard.

"Is _that_ why you made me walk a ridiculous circle?" The colonel mused aloud, snapping his fingers in a sarcastic ah-ha moment.

"Will you shut _up?_"

Roy shrugged nonchalantly, rehoming his hands in his roomy coat pockets once again. "He doesn't seem to be in a hurry to get us," he observed, feeling no obvious threat or worry.

"He could just be waiting until we're on a quiet street," Ed assumed, pointing a finger up at Roy. Said older alchemist at that moment decided he needed to break Edward of the habit. He had never realized how very rude of a gesture it was, and frankly it was pointless for the blonde as he was so short you had to really look for the finger to see it. A disrespectful and wasted effort the finger point was.

"Then he wouldn't be following us so obviously," Roy whispered, smacking Ed's hand down.

"Why are you whispering? He can't hear you."

"Shhh," the raven haired man said, holding a finger to the teenager's soft lips.

"You are dumb," the blonde said, smacking Roy's hand right back. "Stop here," he said as they approached a sign that read 'Central Bay Market'. The walkway halted abruptly against a matching stone wall that looked out to the stirring water, where Edward chose to lean. They had made a bit of progress distance wise, having almost reached the point that the paranoia agent had first rounded them off the other direction. The market ended here and the regular city streets stretched off in front of them, cafes and bars leading the way home.

While Edward took deep and slow breaths, his companion took the time to take a look about them. Their accused follower stood across the street and to the left, and he didn't seem to be interested in them at all. He reached into a pocket inside his covering, pulling out a pocket watch and flipping it open. "Don't look now Ed, he just checked the time, he's probably waiting till specifically 12:30 to jump us," Roy teased, though his voice and expression were dead serious. The unamused blonde lifted his head, mouth open to fire off a quick insult, but he faltered.

Roy looked to where the blonde was, and panic flew from his brain to his body. The peculiar person had begun to approach them, his posture relaxed and hands clasped behind his back. The colonel immediately put himself between Edward and then stranger, pulling his pocketed gloves on in the same motion. The man was no more than ten feet away when the dark haired alchemist raised his hand, fingers dangerous and poised to snap.

"I'll have to ask you to stop right there," he ordered, and the figured obeyed, hands in the air. With the strong sun straight above them, it left the man's face in shadows.

"I'm terribly sorry; I didn't mean to frighten you," he said, speaking with a bit of a n accent. His voice was middle-aged and calm despite the fact he was facing a possible fireball to the face. "You see, I've been following you two, and-"

"We were aware, we're not stupid you know," Edward spat, pushing past Roy to glare at the man. The older alchemist grabbed Ed by the shoulder, stopping him from impulsively approaching a possible foe.

It was as if someone had flicked on a light in the unfamiliar man's soul, and he clapped his gritty hands together in delight. The alchemist pair flinched and raised their hands to the defense, but the other man paid no heed. "Well hello there, Edward. Long time no see. Glad to see you are more well than I assumed you were."

The blonde alchemist sucked in such a deep and quick breath that he choked, gaining the colonel's full attention. Roy watched as Ed's face slowly went from looking like he'd just been spoken to by a ghost, to surprise, to anger so fierce that his face went absolutely blank.

"You've got to be _fucking_ kidding me," Ed declared, spitting out each word as if it were poison. The man acted as if he hadn't heard and walked toward a bristled blonde, his gait easy and flowing beneath the black cloak. He leaned down just a bit, and Roy caught a brief hint of the man's face; he was wearing glasses.

"Unfortunately I don't have much time," the figure cheerfully babbled, removing a small box from his pocket and palming it off to a still stunned Fullmetal Alchemist.

"You'll find that this will come in handy with your brother," the man explained, pulling back the hood to his cloak as he kneeled down to be face to face with Ed. He had long and loose dirty blonde hair that hung in strings and, yes, glasses. He grabbed the Fullmetal's hand in possession of the box and held it to the boy's chest. "Keep it close to you, Edward."

"You son of a bitch," Ed snarled. Roy thought it lucky the man had handed the box over to Ed's left hand, as his fists were clenched so tight that he was certain anything in the boy's right hand would be crushed. He had an urge to push the man away, as the box wasn't the only thing to be worried about getting crushed.

The man tapped Edward on the nose twice and stood. Roy winced and knew that this poor oblivious stranger was really asking for it. "I would recommend not dawdling, Alphonse is waiting for you," he informed the both of them, looking from Edward to Roy. Roy started for a moment, so surprised by the physical appearance of the man and the nagging voice that told him they had met before.

"You know where Al is? And you're tossing me hints instead of telling me where he is? He's your son for fuck's sake!" Ed yelled, arms flailing. The colonel took a step back to avoid a box to the face, but he could still feel the reverberations that were being emitted from Edward's trembling body.

And suddenly it hit Roy. This dirty stranger, with long blonde hair and dull gold eyes was no other than Hoenheim of Light. He was scruffy and unkempt, and looked much like the ground had opened wide and spat him out. But it still stunned the colonel that he couldn't recognize him.

"I wish we had time to catch up, but perhaps we will later," Hoenheim suggested, stretching to his full height before pulling the hood back over his head. He turned his back and began to walk away, hands in his pockets.

"WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Ed squawked, taking a few wobbly steps forward.

His father stopped and turned to face him, his features again hidden by the high sun. But the stunned Flame knew there was a smile on that man's face. "I'll have you know I don't encourage such language, but I don't have the time you see," Hoenheim explained, pointing to the sun as if it would make his kin understand. "And neither do you or Alphonse."

"WELL IT WOULD DO IT HIM SOME FUCKING GOOD IF YOU TOLD ME WHERE TO HELP HIM!" The blonde shouted in aggravation, stomping his foot like a child. He waved the small package at his father. "THIS IS _NOT_ A GOOD HINT TO START WITH!"

"I gave you what you need to help Alphonse, that package will come in handy with your brother. I have to go now, you see," Ed's father again proclaimed, this time using a much more understood pocket watch as an example. He pulled the hood further down his face clasping his hands together and nodding. "Good day Edward, Colonel Mustang." He then turned on his heel and strode ahead into the market, his cloak billowing after him. He stopped mid stride and turned to face them, as if he had suddenly changed his mind. "Oh, and Edward. Some of the most important written words can't be seen so easily." And with a turn of the heel, Hoenheim was back on his way, mixing into the crowd as his son seethed helplessly where he had been left.

"GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!" Ed shrieked, slamming his automail fist into the stone wall. Roy placed a hand on the boy's shoulder to lock him in place and then darted after the mysterious man himself. But he made it no more than a hundred feet before he slowed to a stop. There wasn't much of a bustling crowd, but the man had absolutely disappeared. Roy could do nothing but stand there, dumbfounded, until a previously volatile presence appeared at his side.

"He's gone. I can't believe he's gone," Edward said, his voice hushed. He was tired now, the colonel could tell, tired and angry and damn frightened and confused. He tossed the package in the air and caught it, holding it close to his face. "For the last fourteen years, he doesn't give much of a shit to show up in my life. And now he throws me a god damn bone like I'm some fucking dog and then runs off again."

He fumbled with the fold lid before opening the box and staring in surprise. "He literally threw me a bone. That sick asshole," he uttered in disgust, shoving the cardboard box's lid back on. He dropped the item to the ground, and they both watched it bounce once before settling at Roy's feet.

"Are you okay?" the Flame questioned, bending down and picking up the box with care. The box was old and browned with age, and he was surprised he hadn't been crushed in the short fall. And judging by the similar layer of dirt that coated the container, it very well could have been with Hoenheim for a very long time.

"Yeah, I'm fucking fine."

"You're not feeling too shocked or stressed are you?" Mother hen colonel asked, turning the boxed object over in his hands. He felt compelled to look inside, but he didn't get a chance.

"I said I'm fine," the teenager snapped, snatching the strange gift from the man's hands.

"Edward, you had better be telling me the truth. If I have to rush you to an emergency room because you can't breathe I'm going to be pissed," Roy said threateningly.

"Thanks." The major's response was highly sarcastic, but Roy was able to read past to what it really was. He wanted to take this boy, take him behind the doors of his home and make it all go away. 'Keep the world on the other side of the door' Edward had said, weeks ago, but Roy still remembered because it was so impossible. But he wanted to.

"The sad part is I think I'm more shocked than you are. Mostly because you're taking it so well," the colonel admitted quietly, watching as Edward emptied the box's contents into his gloved hand. A bone it was indeed, a bone so old it was brown and brittle with age.

"Roy," Edward said, holding the antique high until the sun silhouetted it. "I've had so many surprises this last month that I don't think I could be surprised anymore." He lowered his hand, turning the bone around and around as if trying to figure it out. The colonel watched in type of nauseous fascination, so many questions surrounding the small piece of animal that he would wait till later to ask.

"Besides, he gave me two hints," the young alchemist declared, again closing the skeletal remain into its temporary tomb. Which seemed to be a wise decision, as the outdoor cafes they were passing were beginning to fill and a couple of men walking about with a bone wasn't something one would see every day.

"He did?" Mustang asked, eyebrows knit together. "I'm afraid I just caught the second one, then. Was there any words written on the box or something." The pair started to walk, the container held out in front of them like an object deserving of worship.

"No, and that's not the one I'm interested in. He said this box would be handy with my brother. Yet he kept calling Al by his name." The colonel's eyebrows dipped down at this statement and he opened his mouth to question, but Ed continued on in a rush. "Whatever this is, it's apparently worth fourteen years."

Fourteen years and what had taken placed in those fourteen years had just been repaid with a bone. The Flame found this a might little bit disturbing. Edward's statement about the hint took a side priority.

"How?" Roy asked, quietly. The light breeze wavered a bit, letting off and then coming back full force, whipping the teenager's braid into the side of his face.

"I don't know," Ed whispered, placing the cryptic gift into his pocket and keeping his hand there, just to be sure it was real. The colonel slipped his hand into the pocket as well, covering Ed's hand with his own, and holding on for dear life. "I don't know."


	18. Chapter 18: The Missing Piece

**A/N: **Let me start this chapter with an apology of sorts. Many people have reviewed saying that they've had to re-read the series due to me taking so long to update, and you have, indeed, made me feel guilty. As some of you may have read on my author's page, my boyfriend's brother unexpectedly passed away in March. It was a huge shock and completely threw off my schedule, and while I do apologize, I was just trying to take care of myself as well as my boyfriend and his family. While it's still hard to deal with, I'm doing better and hope to keep writing regularly now.

And yeah, you guys are probably going to hate me for this chapter. I might just pack up, head for the hills, and work on the rest of the story there. It might be much safer. My warning to you will be: blood and necrotization. If blood and black stuff bother you, then this chapter might hit a nerve. Or a few. In any case, just have a trash can ready if you're one of those people. If not, then enjoy. At least, as much as you can enjoy. Haha.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to Jesse. He never knew of this story, but dammit it took me a lot of energy to write it and that's what counts.

**Special thanks to:** FullMetalCrayon (omgsh I love your name), Twilightfairy, AnimeLuvv, anime-lover890, Conrii, LookButDoNotTouch, Birgitte LP, Alilicious53, Psycho Anime, xXArykaLachlanXx, cira13, RomiofAmestria, cynder81, Cartoon Cow (my friend would love you, she LOVES cows), PrinceDarkLink, nekoanimegirl114, Hawkpath13, TehDonutSecks, DanielDeathnote, PutThatAway, JacktheMetal, foreverforgotten5, Madarao The Authoress, Anatidae, Dream Theme, ZemyxDexion, BlackWolf2Dragon, DunTouchIt, Mama Muse, and Hawk Cold Eyes. Thank you all for reading and reviewing!

* * *

**Chapter 18:** The Missing Piece

Edward leered at Roy in a highly unfriendly manner from the kitchen table. Roy blinked from behind the counter where he stood, eyebrows raised. Bubbles from the soaking dishes in the sink popped and fizzed, as if trying to snap the colonel's attention toward them. But it was in vain, for there was no reason to keep a hawk's eye on bubbles; bubbles couldn't leap across a counter and kill him with a flick of the wrist.

"You're such a bastard," Ed griped, head resting on his folded arms. His gaze didn't break.

It was one of those days.

Like the letter finding incident, having so much before him and nowhere to go with it stopped Edward in his tracks. First would be the frustration, which would be taken out, in good opportunity or not, on the colonel himself. And then would come the depression, in which Ed would either shut down or again take out frustration whenever he saw fit. Lastly would be the determination.

Roy could deal with steps one and two, but it was the determination of the fiery golden boy that admittedly scared him. It was what caused Edward to set himself in his ways and ideas, which were more often than not rash and attempted without a first thought. Be it instinct or just a hunch, but Roy had a funny feeling that this time Edward would be acting from within these confining walls. His rashness wouldn't lead to a bathroom window escape, as Ed knew Roy was on high watch. He wasn't even going to risk walking out the front door without a valid excuse.

The worst part about this determination is that Edward knew he was close to finding his brother. Roy knowing that Ed knew he was close was proof enough of that, and it was frightening.

'_This Alphonse determination will be the death of him,'_ Roy's mind whispered, and he flinched at his own thought. Where had that come from?

"I know Edward," he replied, turning his attention back to Edward's medication, which he was separating into a weekly pill organizer while the dishes from breakfast soaked in their bubble bath. He had discovered the pill box in the deep recesses of his bathroom vanity, and it was the final attempt in seeing if Edward had the ability to take care of himself. Which, in all fairness, was probably 10% of the reason the blonde was in a storm of a mood.

"And this whole God damn world is a screw up," said pissy alchemist snapped. "Remember that part of four hours ago where my estranged dad showed up?"

Roy closed his eyes and nodded. Enter Hoenheim, the other 90%. "Indeed I do."

"Well what the fuck was up with that, huh? Do you know of any decent parent who knows where their missing and endangered kid is but they just shrug it off? Just gives their other kid a bone, which in all possibility came from road kill they found on the way over, and strolls off? What the fuck?"

"Your father always had a deep reason for what he did," the colonel ventured, holding a bottle of red pills up to his face to study the label.

Ed snorted and waved his automail hand around in the air. "Oh well yeah, that's perfect, I'm glad he had a deep reason for leaving my mother and Al and I to our own devices," he said sarcastically. His waving hand then flew to point accusingly at the older man, eyes threatening murder. "Do _not_ fucking defend him again, or you will be eating automail."

Roy popped the cap off of the pills and tapped one out into each morning section of the week. "Well for one, for being so relaxed in his demeanor he was awfully tense. Perhaps we weren't the only ones being followed." He popped the cap back onto the now empty medicine bottle, dropping it into the trashcan to his right. Roy then reached for another bottle, studying the label as he spoke. "I mean, he is a genius but he was never much for riddles, and the fact that he riddled you completely miffs me. While he may not have just said what he meant, he wouldn't have done what he did without a serious reason." He placed the bottle back down and closed all of the lids to the pill organizer, shaking it proudly in Edward's direction.

However the blonde was not pleased (as if Roy expected him to be grateful anyway) and he slapped a hand down on the table. Thankfully it was his flesh hand otherwise Roy would have probably had to invest in a table refurbishing. He absentmindedly thought about how expensive living with Edward Elric could be. "I'm warning you," said household mangling alchemist seethed.

"And I'm trying to look at it from both sides. I knew you had that side covered, so I went with the other," Roy reasoned, setting the pill box down and pushing it to the edge of the counter before plunging his hand into the depths of the sink. "What? You haven't been the only one to be pensive for the past four hours," he answered to the look on Edward's face, which was a lovely mixture of hatred, betrayal, and disgust. The colonel felt like flicking sink water in Ed's direction, but thought better of it. So instead he sudsed up a wash rag and began scrubbing away.

There were a few minutes of silence, during which Roy felt molten, narrowed eyes on him the entire time. It was after that few minutes that Edward offered up a perfect way to sum up his day. "You know what? I hate that old shit_ and_ you."

The colonel sighed and fought the urge to massage his eyes. Which was difficult, but dish soap into the face area wasn't usually a good idea. So instead of giving Edward what he wanted, Roy simply nodded in agreement.

"I know Edward."

Ed, who had obviously been looking for a reason to chew Roy's head off, grumpily rested his chin on his crossed arms.

"Well fuck you then."

Roy hit the water tap and rinsed the plate he had been working on. "You are more than welcome to."

A blush as red as his red trench coat spread across the blonde's cheeks, and in typical Ed fashion he turned his face to the side and sulked. "Sick bastard."

"Proudly unmedicated for my illness, unlike you." Roy placed the plate in the rack to dry before starting on the next one.

Ed's hands crawled to the sides of his head and he pressed his palms into his skull, sighing deeply.

"You okay?" The older alchemist asked, eyebrows dipping in concern while his hands worked on autopilot. Thank goodness Edward always licked his dishes clean, or it could have been a few degrees more difficult.

Ed sighed and nodded, his hands slipping down to cradle his cheeks. "Yeah, you just give me headaches is all. And I feel like a dog chasing my tail."

"How so?" The colonel asked, his eyebrows dipping in concern. He rinsed out his coffee mug before going at it with the washcloth.

Ed sighed, his hands slipping higher up his cheeks as he lowered his head. "Everything that has led us one step closer has been found by complete accident. A freak occurrence. Am I just going to sit here and wait until the next lead drops into my lap?" He asked quietly, his voice laced with a defeated tone. Roy looked at him sympathetically for a moment, trying to devise a way to say "it will be okay" without sounding like such a liar.

The doorbell rang, startling them both.

An amused grin spread across the colonel's face. "Maybe you should moan and groan more often."

Ed turned pink for the second time, but he offered little in the way of a snappy answer. "Shuddap and answer your door."

"I'm busy. You get it."

But Edward had just so happened to pick that particular moment to move his hands over his ears and to start humming a tune he had heard a street guitarist playing on the way home. Roy's eyebrow ticked once and he dried his hands on a nearby towel. "Fine, see if I give a damn that you have to eat breakfast out of mug in the morning," he said, tossing the dish cloth on the counter and stalking out of the kitchen just in time to hear an amused snort coming from the direction of the table.

It took only a minute for him to answer the door, greet Earl the Neighborhood Post Man and to have a short conversation about weather mums or azaleas would be in this spring. It became evident they would have to agree to disagree on the account of Kathy down the street who surprised everyone each year and set the new trend. By the time he shut the front door, Ed had already sprawled himself across the sofa in the great room and was trying (unsuccessfully) to blow his bangs out of his face.

"It's for you," the older alchemist announced, plopping the box on the coffee table.

The blonde lay there for a moment, eyeing the older man suspiciously.

Roy took note of this and shrugged, sitting down on the other sofa that face the one Ed had taken over. "You don't have to believe me. But then it'll never get opened, ever. It's illegal for me to open your mail, no matter how lazy you are," he lectured, leaning back into the plush cushions.

The teenager sighed through his nose. He gingerly sat up, wincing a bit, and grabbed the box before Roy had a chance to question it. Ed opened the package slowly, his face slowly growing more puzzled. He lifted a bottle out of the box, and dangled it in front of both of them. A clear liquid moved about the bottle, and a distinct smell came from both it and the box. Ed covered his nose and mouth, and then gently lowered the bottle back down.

"What is that?" The colonel asked, wrinkling his nose.

"It's a bottle of ammonia," Edward answered, his voice sounding clogged from him plugging his nose. Roy leaned forward to get a better look at the bottle, as if the smell wasn't obvious enough for him to believe the younger alchemist. The liquid was clear and the scent distinct, but Roy found himself wary.

"Why ammonia?"

"Heck if I know," Ed replied sourly, his face downcast. "Ammonia. Commonly used for agricultural purposes, treating metal, curing leather, and developing photochemical processes," he said, rattling off one of his textbook definitions.

"Why would someone send you a bottle of ammonia?" The older man asked, reaching for the vial. But Edward snatched away the bottle and the package it came in, glaring.

"Heck. If. I. Know." Ed spat, obviously in a mood. "And get your paws away from me. It's illegal to steal people's stuff too, you know."

"You're being awfully nasty today, Edward," Roy said quietly, sitting back and away from what he compared to a possessive animal. And the boy probably would go after him if given half the chance, he had probably been waiting for it all morning.

"Well excuse me for not being in a good damn mood," the blonde snapped, settling the box on his lap and removing the bottle for inspection. He brought it as close to his face as he dared, breathing through his mouth as he turned the bottle around as if to inspect for any inclusions.

"Should you really be messing with that stuff?"

Ed's eyes locked onto him, though the rest of him sat stock still. "Didn't you mention that I was in a bad mood?"

The dark haired man nodded slowly, showing his agreement but also disapproval. "But being in a bad mood won't matter if you take sick."

"Ya know, I'll bet this is part two of my gift," Edward mused allowed, ignoring his superior officer and shaking the bottle up as if he enjoyed watching Roy eye him like a hawk. "Except this time the old man had the courtesy to just ditch it on the postal workers." His automail finger made a _ping ping ping_ as he tapped the vial, grinning as the colonel flinched each time.

"Is there an address on the box?" Roy asked, trying not to clench his teeth together as he spoke.

"Nope."

"Then put it back."

Ed made a face but complied, sticking the vial back into the box. "Controlling," he griped.

"No common sense," Roy shot back, plucking the box from the coffee table. "Ammonia can take over any smell. This could be some sort of poison for all we know."

Ed shrugged, but to Roy's surprise didn't fight it. The colonel eyed Ed suspiciously, tucking the box under his arm before leaning across the coffee table. He slipped his hand under Ed's bangs, and the boy flinched and swatted at the older man's hand.

"What the hell Mustang."

"I knew it." He lowered his hand and lifted Ed's chin so they looked right into each other's eyes. Of which Ed's were slightly glazed, confirming Roy's hunch. "You have a fever."

"Well that sucks," Edward murmured. "I was hoping it'd go away."

"You knew you had one." Roy asked monotonously, his words coming out more like a statement.

"Ha, yeah," Ed said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"For how long?" Roy asked, grabbing the blonde's wrist and checking his pulse.

"For like, almost a week, I think, it started off so low I didn't even think about it." He pulled his wrist out of the man's grasp. "Quit mother henning me, bastard."

The older alchemist sighed in light exasperation. "Doctor. Tomorrow. Okay?"

"Yeah yeah yeah," Ed replied, waving him off as if to keep Roy from going after his wrist again.

"We should really call the investigation department, you know," Roy said. He carefully removed the bottle from the box and held it up to the light. "Having a vial full of chemicals sent to you isn't really an everyday thing."

The smile slipped from Edward's face as he lowered his hand. "I…" Ed started, brow furrowing as he stared at the bottle. Roy had expected the boy to call him a hypocrite (if it's so dangerous then why are you messing with it?) but the boy seemed to have something else on his mind. "I don't want to," he said quietly.

"Ed."

"Look, Mustang. The last time they got involved someone got killed." He pursed his lips, pain flitting through his face. "I don't want anyone else to get hurt on my account."

Roy placed the bottle back in the box, making a note in the back of his head to put it on top of the grandfather clock. He had already tried to hide his pastries on top of the refrigerator, but Ed was quite the acrobat. "In any case, we should at least report we saw your father."

Ed sighed in absolute annoyance. "Go for it. Maybe they can track his sorry ass down and I can get to my brother without using a fucking bottle of ammonia and a raccoon bone." He laid himself back down onto the couch, arms crossed behind his head.

The colonel sighed. "I doubt he actually picked up road kill, Edward."

"He looked kind of crazy anyway, Roy. Like he dug himself out of a grave." Ed whispered the last of it, as if the word itself scared him.

"That doesn't surprise me," the colonel claimed with a small dip of his shoulders. "He did come back from the dead."

* * *

The colonel jerked from his sleep, a gasp escaping his throat at the suddenness. He lay there for a moment, trying to collect his bearings. No, this hadn't been a nightmare, his heart wasn't beating fast enough. He rolled over to look at the clock at his bedside. 1:13 a.m. No one outside would have made enough of a ruckus to wake him, either. He groaned and rolled back over, reaching to sling his arm around Edward's hip.

Except Edward wasn't there.

He groaned again and rubbed a hand down his face. He was tired and groggy and that damn brat was biting into his sleep. Now he was going to have to get out of bed and go find him, and God forbid his feet miss the rug and hit the freezing hardwood, because then short stuff would be in for it. He dropped his hand beside him and sighed.

Roy heard glass shatter and was immediately on his feet and flying down the hall, completely forgetting about the hardwood and the cold needles prickling from his feet and up his legs. He thundered down the stairs, shaking the railing. There was another smash of glass as the Flame hit the bottom of the staircase and he nearly slipped trying to swing around the corner as fast as his feet could carry him. He narrowly avoided a folder and it's contents that were lying about the ground like they had been thrown out while others were still tucked neatly inside. Aside from the mess on the floor, the great room was quiet and intact, and so he kept moving until he reached the living room.

What he saw stopped him in his tracks.

The sound had definitely come from Ed putting his automail hand through the glass coffee table, twice. Edward was on his hands and knees as if he had been trying to crawl, pieces of glass dislodging from his automail and pinging to the floor. He was wheezing loudly, and when he looked up at Roy the wheezes turned into almost silent screams.

That's when the colonel noticed what that trademark Edward determination had done. There was a makeshift plastic tent in the corner of the room, constructed from the seal-to-shut gallon storage bags from Roy's kitchen. They had been meshed together with heat, which Ed had obviously done using alchemy, albeit crudely. The last thing he noticed was the bottle of fuming ammonia sitting on the floor, at the bottom of the tent.

"Fuck, Ed!" Roy shouted, finally coming over the shock of the scene and lowering himself down to the quietly shrieking alchemist.

"Can'tbreathe!" Was all he could say between strangled yells, ripping memories of the first collapse to the front of Roy's mind. He began to frantically feel for a pulse at Edward's wrist, not surprised to find it fast and weak due to Ed's obvious panic and lack of oxygen.

"What did you do Ed?" Roy asked, cupping the boy's face in his hands. "I need to know what you did!"

All Ed could do was point at the tent. That's when Roy noticed the hole, right in the middle, and the fumes leaking out in slow little puffs. Edward had sat there without knowing he was slowly fuming out his own lungs. What the fucking _hell_ had he been doing fumigating in the first place?

"Dammit," the colonel seethed, racing to the kitchen and fumbling around the basket containing all of Ed's medication. It took awhile for his shaking hands to close around the inhaler, but as soon as they did he was stumbling back to the living room.

Ed had made some progress in the crawling department and was trying to haul himself up using the back of the couch. Roy grabbed the teenager's shoulder and shoved him back to the floor, earning angry resistance in the form of a swinging arm. It made contact with Roy's shin, but thankfully the fist was made of flesh and the bruise wouldn't be too colorful. Before the blonde could take advantage of his already chambered automail arm, the older man brought the inhaler to Ed's lips and pushed the button.

Ed sucked in as deep as he could, though it was still shallow and barely affected the level of the medicine.

"Come on, Ed," Roy encouraged, pushing the button again as Ed took another breath.

By the third dose the blonde came up coughing, which the colonel thought was an improvement as coughing required a good amount of air. He rolled back onto his heels and watched the young alchemist try to catch his breath, anxiously waiting to see the outcome. Ed's hand flew to his mouth as if he were trying to silence the unrestrained fit, but Roy could only guess the amount of ammonia Edward had inhaled and knew the effect wouldn't leave the boy that easily.

After a minute or so, Ed finally quieted but kept his hand over his mouth, eyes wide and body trembling. His next breath brought forth a gurgling sound and he grunted, wincing in a pain that both confused and scared the hell out of Roy. Edward slowly moved his hand away and the blood began to flow, dripping freely down his chin and out of the palm of his hand. Ed began to visibly shake, his face twisting with horror as he looked up to Roy, whose stomach had flipped upside down.

"I think we've got a problem," he slurred, almost sounding as if he were speaking under water. He gasped and clutched at his chest with his unbloodied hand, spitting up more blood. It splat against the dark hardwood, fibrous cords of black tissue swimming within the thick liquid as Ed dropped to all fours and began to hack violently, adding more to the mix. "This fucking hurts," he wheezed, crying out as he coughed up another bout of blood.

The smell was nauseating, assaulting Roy's nostrils with a mixture of iron and something that had been in the process of rotting. His stomach did a flip and he gagged, covering his nose and mouth with his hand.

The colonel had turned his back and began to run, his adrenaline laced feet carrying him for the third time that night. The Fullmetal yelled in terror, a forceful 'HEY!' as Roy raced through the dining room and grabbed the kitchen phone, clicking in three numbers he hoped he would never have to call. He could hear the sick boy crying out, begging Roy to 'please come back, don't leave me here, please don't', threatening to intangibly rip the colonel's heart in two.

"911, what's your emergency?" The bored female voice on the other end of the line asked.

"Yes, this is Colonel Mustang. I'm going to need an ambulance for Major Edward Elric."

* * *

It was the same damn waiting room. The only differences it had acquired in the last few months were a few new magazines and a disturbing mural along the front wall that displayed all of the doctors in caricature form. Roy could never understand hospitals.

Roy and Riza had chosen the same chairs, for old times' sake. The rest of the Colonel's team had been notified, though he wouldn't have been surprised if none of them woke for the message. This time of very early morning was seriously pushing it, especially for Breda, who snored loud enough for a bull to rampage throughout his dorm without the man stirring once.

The day before flashed through the colonel's mind, slowing down when it came anywhere near a clue to what the hell had just happened. When everything had begun to go wrong. From Edward's wheeze-filled morning walk, to Hoenheim's grand reunion with his son, to the surprise gift from the post man. Roy raked his mind, trying to find the key that had turned the lock in Edward's brilliant head. Or had the stress and depression finally gotten to him? Had Edward done this on purpose? Was he finding something, or losing himself? He couldn't have been suicidal, he was too close to the answer, there was no way. Or was there?

"I don't think I can keep doing this," Roy groaned, burying his face in his hands.

"Sir?" Hawkeye asked, confused at his small outburst.

"He drives me crazy, he doesn't listen, and he's always finding another way to hurt himself. He is so stressful, Hawkeye," he explained, rubbing his eyes. And he had to have looked like a train wreck, as if just his claim of a case of Edward Stress wasn't enough. Pajamas and five o'clock shadow may have not made him look like absolute shit, but it sure made him feel that way.

"With all due respect, Sir, he's always been a source of stress," the Lieutenant reasoned, pointing out the obvious in the most blunt way possible. "He's done all of that and more in the years we have both known him."

The colonel closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. "Not like this. When he first got sick I was going to lose the prodigy I discovered. Now I feel like I could, could lose family."

Riza's cinnamon brown eyes softened, a look that was reserved only for something she felt deeply about. Unlike Roy, she looked like she was ready for inspection, as always. Blue uniform pressed, boots shined, hair in a sleek bun. He buried his raggedy face in his hands. Yeah, she made him officially look like shit. "Permission to speak freely, Colonel."

"Permission granted as always, Lieutenant," Roy mumbled from behind his hands.

"You love him," Riza said simply.

Roy started at this statement and then just stared at his hands in shock. "No, no I don't."

"And what makes you say that, Sir?"

The Flame shook his head and laughed. "He's just a kid! I've been watching him for, what, a few months? Romantic love is _not_ based on this."

"Who can say what love is or isn't, Colonel? Who says it takes a certain amount of time to form, under certain conditions?" She asked him, effectively nailing down his reasons to protest. "Love is what the heart feels, Roy. Not what people tell you it is."

"Now is not the time to lecture me about my illegal and anxiety-producing relationship, Lieutenant."

Riza sighed in frustration. "I know he may be a handful, but I've never seen you so happy despite being so upset." Roy sat there in silence, contemplating this. The blonde woman observed him for a long moment, her sharp amber eyes softening again. "All I'm saying is-"

"Colonel, Lieutenant," Doctor Gray interrupted, standing there before them. Both were startled.

"Doctor," Roy greeted, standing as tall and proud as he could manage in his current state. Hawkeye would have been standing before he was, but rose quickly afterward in respect for her superior officer.

"I apologize for the wait, Colonel. We have only begun to uncover Mr. Elric's problem. If you two would follow me, we're going to head up to our intensive care unit. They moved it to the second floor," he explained, his demeanor tense with worry and excitement as he waved them forward. "Come come."

Roy and Riza struggled to stay on the man's heels as he nearly bounded across the waiting room. As soon as the doors swung shut behind them, the doctor began talking as he ascended the stairs, the two soldiers in his wake.

"He isn't doing so well, Colonel Mustang," Dr. Gray said, flipping through the chart. Roy was just waiting for the older man to miss a step and trip, or for his white coat to snag on the railing. Apparently the skill was well practiced, proof in the action of Gray hitting the stairwell and the next flight of stairs without hesitation. The trio trotted up the gray steel steps, echoes running up the stairwell and seeming to go on forever. They stopped outside of a plain wooden door which the doctor opened and motioned for the other two to enter first.

"We were hoping that his hemoptysis, or coughing up blood, was from a different source, such as a simple bleed in the upper respiratory tract or stomach. So we went straight to his lungs with our fingers crossed and could barely get a sample from them. The insides of the organ are in tatters," he explained as Roy and Riza walked through the door and into the Intensive Care Unit waiting room. Brown wainscoting and cheerful floral wall paper were coupled with much comfier looking padded chairs. Dr. Gray slapped the clipboard down onto the nearest counter and turned to face the soldiers, hands clasped behind his back.

"His blood shows a level dose of medicine and you have obviously been caring for him as best as we could have," Dr. Gray started, and Roy felt his hopes fall. The 'you didn't do anything wrong' speech was never a good sign. "But his lungs have had significant trouble healing."

All the colonel could do was stand there numbly, taking in the information that he had never thought he would hear. As bad as it sounded, he was hoping that the doctor wasn't reading Edward's death sentence. Hawkeye stood still and strong by his side, giving him the strength to keep looking Dr. Gray in the eye.

"You see," the doctor said quietly, "it is difficult to heal internal organs, especially when there is little to no help from the immune system. Edward has been dealt a very bad hand. His inhalation of the ammonia wasn't the root cause of what has happened today, but it was definitely the trigger."

"Details, please," Roy pressed, more of a demand than anything.

The doctor hesitated, and then motioned to the two chairs along the wall. "Please, the two of you, sit down."

This was not a promising situation. Riza hesitated and looked to Roy, worry etched into her blonde brow. But the colonel obeyed, lowering himself into the plush green cushion as gently as possible. The lieutenant followed suit, perching herself on the edge in such a way that she could give both men her full attention.

"You may have noticed Edward coughing and wheezing frequently, Colonel Mustang. While it is completely understandable due to the anthrax incident, something else was forming in his lungs." Gray must have noticed the pained expression on the Flame Alchemist's face, as he was quick to pull away any sort of blame. "You couldn't have possibly known, Colonel. Don't worry."

"Please," Roy said, quietly, angrily. "Do _not_ tell me not to worry."

Dr. Gray raised his eyebrows and closed his eyes. "Mr. Elric has a lung abscess. Three to be exact, one in his left lung and two in his right. A lung abscess is caused by the decaying of lung tissue which creates a cavity in the organ, leaving that part of the lung useless while infected. This explains his wheezing, as he wasn't getting an adequate amount of oxygen."

"But he was on antibiotics. Necrotizing tissue is caused by bacteria, right?" Roy asked.

The doctor nodded slowly. "We did have him on antibiotics, but they were to fight the remaining anthrax. It more or less threw a cover over the decaying cavities, which is why there really isn't anything we could have known and why he's in such bad shape now, as they were allowed to sit closed and fester. When Edward coughed, not only was the medication causing the abscesses to hold on, but his lungs were too weak to cough anything up. Any decay that did come up was probably miniscule and he consequently paid no attention to it."

"Then how…?" Riza inquired, gaining both of the men's notice.

"Ammonia is a very strong irritant, and even Mr. Elric's lungs wouldn't stand to have it in them. At first his throat closed due to the ammonia, which built up his coughing reaction until the inhaler you gave him brought down his throat inflammation. The force of his cough was then increased, which loosened the built up tissue and opened the cavities. He consequently began to bleed excessively and was in a lot of pain."

"What does this mean for him?" Asked the Flame as cupped his jaw.

"We were looking at a possible ninety-percent recovery for him the last time he was here." The doctor visually balked, opening and closing him mouth a few times before speaking. "I'm not comfortable giving my current prognosis without proof. We will have his more intensive x-rays back in a few hours."

'_This is it, isn't it?'_ Roy thought, running his hand through his mussed hair. _'End of the line. If luck exists then you would think it's been played out at this point.'_

"On a further note, I have news that you may find distressing Colonel, and I'm sorry. I was also given strict orders by the Fuhrer," Dr. Gray said. Roy looked up to him, wondering what on Earth else there was to say. The information following were the last thing he would have guessed. "Since this home remedy of sorts has not been working out for Edward, Fuhrer Hakuro has demanded he be taken from your care and kept in the hospital until further notice."

Roy, dumbfounded, could only stare up at the seemingly relaxed doctor who liked like he had just read from a shopping list. "Excuse me?"

"Edward will be staying in the hospital and he will be under twenty-four hour surveillance. Fuhrer Hakuro was very concerned with the boy's well being; despite the fact that being here will cause him unwarranted stress, it was also decided that his dislike for hospitals should take a back seat to his overall health."

No more Edward. No more Edward at his kitchen table. No more Edward bitching about his semi full refrigerator. No more Edward lying at his side at night. And no Edward to help clean up the very Edward mess he had left behind. No, that couldn't be right. The doctor was mistaken, just kidding, wasn't he?

But the colonel's body betrayed his heart and he nodded. "I…I understand."

Hawkeye's blonde head snapped in his direction, her amber eyes stern and angry. _'Are you fucking_ serious? _You understand my_ ass,' they said. He knew they did. She could tell anyone anything with the click of a gun. He looked over at her, blue eyes the most pitiful shade of blue she had probably ever seen, because she mirrored them exactly. God, he was such a wreck his First Lieutenant was mimicking his misery. He wanted curl up in a ball and dissolve.

"And there is one more thing, Sir."

"Yes?" He mumbled from behind his hands. If he couldn't disappear, he could at least hide.

"Your presence at Edward's bedside has been denied."

Hawkeye stiffened and Roy could have sworn he saw her lip curl, if only for a second. The colonel swallowed and forced himself to remain composed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that you are not permitted visitation to Edward Elric. Fuhrer Hakuro is concerned that you may distract him from his treatment here."

Roy felt his insides crumble. He wanted to fight. He wanted to kick and punch and scream. But he knew it wouldn't do any good. If anything, it would get the questions coming and get him into some serious trouble.

"Is there…is there any way I can see him now? Just for a moment?"

The doctor hesitated, clearly wanting to answer with the orders he was given, but feeling conflicted.

"Please, Doctor. Just this once. It could be the last time I see him, couldn't it?" Roy prodded, doing his best to sound absolutely sincere in his words. But who was he kidding? It was the truth.

"Five minutes, Colonel. It's all I can give you," Gray said, his voice low and firm. "Room 214, down the hall on your right. I'm going to be checking on him in ten." Though he did his best making the rules clear, Dr. Gray couldn't hide the apologetic expression on his aged face. "I'm so very sorry Colonel." He tucked the clipboard under his arm and nodded to each of the soldiers before walking down the opposite hall.

Roy watched him go. When had he and Hawkeye gotten to their feet?

"Colonel," Riza said quietly, eying him. She knew exactly what his body wanted to do. His knees wanted to buckle. His heart wanted to split in half. But all he could do was stare numbly at the tiles down the hall, sterile in the fluorescent light. "You should see him now and think later."

"You're right."

"You can go, sir. I'll be in the waiting room." Roy opened his mouth to protest, to insist that she be there for Edward too. But she held up a hand and cut him off. "If you noted, Hakuro said only _you_ couldn't see him."

Roy gave her a perplexed look, and then understood. It was another one of Hakuro's attempts at knocking the colonel off of his feet. And, like usual, he didn't give a rat's ass about the rest of Roy's team. He wanted Edward, because in his eyes, Edward was all the Flame had, and more.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. I'll keep it short and sweet."

"Use it to the fullest, Colonel," Hawkeye encouraged, opening the wooden door which they had come from. "We'll meet up after and figure this mess out," she told him as she slipped into the stairwell.

Roy walked down the hall and stopped just outside of room 214. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying not to imagine what Ed must look like in there. But all he could see was the blood running down the teenager's chin and the decaying lung tissue spread across hardwood floors, hear the frightened cries of a boy he had probably thought he was going to die, right there. He cringed and decided to round the corner anyway.

And came upon a personless room. At first Roy wondered if Dr. Gray had been dangling a bone in front of his face, 'sure, go see Edward, who actually isn't in this room at all, or this floor, actually he's not even in this hospital, so sorry about your luck'.

But everything was off, like a "what's wrong with this picture" activity book. Two IV lines with needles intact lay on the bed, slowly dripping two liquids onto the sheets. A very thin blood trail could be traced across the mattress and the colonel bet anything that the same trail continued on the floor on the other side of the bed. He ran over to the open window, his heart racing. Sure enough, a makeshift ladder of sorts had been built in to the side of the brick building.

"Dammit!" Roy shouted, pounding a fist onto the window frame. "Dammit dammit DAMMIT!"

He heard a sound at the door and his head snapped toward it. A timid looking man with black framed glasses in medical scrubs looked at him in confusion. "Who are you? Where is Mr. Elric?" The young man asked, eyeing Roy uncertainly.

"Are you, the one, who was watching him?" Roy seethed.

"Uh, uhm yes, Sir," the orderly managed, adjusting his glasses. He looked around the room once again, before focusing on the IV needles and blood stained sheets. "Oh no, did he leave?"

"You idiot!" Roy shouted, striding across the room before grabbing the orderly by the collar of his scrub top. "What the_ hell_ were you _thinking_?"

"I-I'm s-s-sorry, Sir!" He cried. "M-Major Elric was j-just so sick, and I didn't t-think-"

"You're right, you didn't think!" The colonel roared, pointing to the window the little escape artist had used. "He's an alchemist! He's escaped from heights three times the size!"

"I'm sorry!" The shitty surveillance in question yelped, struggling at the hands of a very angry Flame Alchemist. Said alchemist's subconscious was insisting it head running footsteps heading their way, but he ignored it. "I-I don't know what else you w-want me to say!"

A strong but gentle hand clasped Roy's shoulder, effectively snapping him out of the urge to throw the idiot orderly out the door and punt his dumb ass down the hall.

"Colonel Mustang, I'm going to have to ask you to release Mr. Watkins," Dr. Gray ordered. And so Roy obeyed, letting the frightened man go and watching him scurry out the door. His v-neck scrub top was stretched and wrinkled, and if the colonel wasn't mistaken Mr. Watkins had wet himself. The Flame felt a little bad, but not much. He turned to face the doctor, who was eyeing him with a certain misgiving.

"I know you want to be angry with him, but there are more important things now. We will see to it that Mr. Watkins is reprimanded for his poor decision," the doctor assured, releasing his hand from the alchemist's shoulder. "Do you have _any_ idea where Mr. Elric could have run off to?"

The colonel was only able to shake his head, shaking and cotton mouthed from all of the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Edward was gone. Disappeared. What the _hell_ kind of night was this?

"Sir I don't believe you understand," Dr. Gray said, and a few curious nurses stopped in the hall behind them. "Mr. Elric cannot survive outside of this hospital in his condition. If there are any areas you think he would head, I need to know them _now_," the old man pressed.

The nurses began whispering, the young woman closest to the two men wearing a bright yellow top. Yellow. And suddenly, it clicked.

"Oh no," Roy whispered. He knew.

"He went to the house."


	19. Chapter 19: Descent

**A/N:** Hello everyone! How was that for a timely update? I can't promise that the next chapter will be out just as quickly, but it will hopefully be pretty darn close. In any case, I hope you all enjoy!

As a side note, I am now on Facebook! You can check out my profile here on FF for information, or simply search for "AngylLayDying Fanfiction" on Facebook. If you're interested, check it out and give it a like! Thank you!

**Special thanks to:** cynder81, Whitika Oblivion, Conrii, Lady Rin Kayamata, NoFaceMonster, Noah Bug, lumisakom, Chrysanth Florence, Onlymeonlykisa, Kitsune-the-fox, compa16, Cartoon Cow, Animemad10, Psycho Anime, TehDonutSecks21, DanielDeathnote, PutThatAway, DunTouchIt, Hawk Cold Eyes, Birgitte LP, iheartanime07, Mysterious Daughter Of Sparda, ZemyxDexion, MamaMuse, and Cuzosu. Thank you all for reading and reviewing!

* * *

**Chapter 19:** Descent

"Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Roy shouted as he swept into the waiting room, anger and fear in his wake.

"Sir!" She answered, standing tall in salute. There weren't many people in the hospital's emergency waiting room, but those who were there stared curiously. It wasn't everyday you see Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, bolt out of a pair of hospital doors looking like an escaped patient. As if on cue all of their heads cocked to the side, like they were waiting for the doctors to follow the pursuit and drag him back screaming.

The colonel did his best to ignore him, knowing he had no time to care what they thought. "At ease, follow me!" He ordered, striding past his subordinate as if he were nature's wind. The lieutenant came up jogging to catch up to him, finally placing herself at his side as they exited the emergency room doors. "Edward is gone."

Her eyebrows rose in astonishment, nearly making themselves a new home in her hairline. "But, what? How?"

"The idiot they left to watch him got the munchies," the colonel answered, the last word nearly causing him to snarl. They passed the ambulance drop off zone, skipping over the divider as if it weren't even there. "He thought Fullmetal was too sick to scale down a third story level."

"Oh no," Hawkeye whispered, and Roy could feel her anxiety match his own. The sky was still dark, stars unseen due to the glow of the city casting a strange rose tinge to the atmosphere. It would still be dark for a while yet. Darkness didn't help when dealing with an escape artist, especially one who thought more like a prey animal than a predator.

"He used alchemy, Hawkeye," Roy whispered as they quickly approached the parking lot. "He couldn't even walk when he got here. I doubt an hour on a ventilator and a round of antibiotics fixed him." He stopped when he realized he had no idea where Riza had parked the military car. He had hitched a ride to the hospital via ambulance.

"Is he going to be okay?" The blonde lieutenant asked, never skipping a beat as she took the lead.

"Not if we don't find him." They began walking down a long row of cars, taking a sharp left near the end of the lot. Their boots crunched on loose gravel that littered the pavement, and Roy shivered at the chilled air he had just then noticed. The adrenaline that was coursing through him could only hide so much for so long, and the twenty something degree weather was starting to close its cold hands in on him. "You would think he couldn't have gotten far but he's counting on it."

"Do we know where he went?" Riza demanded, keys in her hand as they approached the military vehicle.

"I'm very comfortable assuming he went to the yellow bricked house off of 32nd street."

"8314 Colonnade Drive," Hawkeye confirmed, more of a statement than a question. She knew when she was right, and the street name was just to refresh her memory more than anything. She unlocked the driver's side door.

"That would be the one. But we need to stop by my house first, Hawkeye," he informed her, standing at the hood of the car.

"Why Sir?"

"For one, that's where the doctors think he went. I'm supposedly going there to retrieve him. But in truth I need to know what Edward knows. If I don't, then we're at a dead end."

Hawkeye nodded in acknowledgement. She walked over to the back seat, opened the sleek black door and pulled out a cloth bag. She tossed it at her superior officer, smiling as he fumbled in surprise but caught it anyway. He opened the flap to find bright blue fabric, neatly folded, and knew what it was.

"So this is where my third uniform went, Hawkeye," he said, feeling amused despite trying to sound annoyed.

"I do apologize Sir, but a colonel should always look the part." She nodded to his arms, prickled with goose bumps. "This was for just in case, but I think you really need it about now."

"Gee thanks," the colonel said sarcastically, expression flat.

"You're welcome. Now get dressed," she ordered, walking to the driver's door and opening it. "We've got lives at stake."

At the word 'lives', the knot in Roy's stomach another loop tight. He had a feeling she was right.

* * *

The front door to Roy's house was open just a crack, the lights inside still on.

Hawkeye observed the shattered table in confusion, and then the pool of blood and black matter on the hardwood. At this she closed her eyes and looked away. The colonel had told her as much as he could, but he knew that hearing second hand and seeing first hand were two different worlds.

"We need to make this quick, but it has to look like Edward spent most of his time in the guest room," Roy said from beside her. She nodded numbly and turned away from the disarray, following the colonel through his great room. Roy trotted up the stairs to his room, Hawkeye at his heels.

"Do you think they're going to search your house, Sir?" She asked, speaking for the first time since they had entered the residence.

They hit the top of the stairs and turned left to the hallway. "I'm almost certain of it, Hawkeye. The military is only going to give us a certain amount of time before they come looking for him. With me not here they're likely to tear the place apart." His skin crawled at the thought of people he had a general dislike for rifling through his belongings, but there was nothing he could do about it now. Keeping his and Edward's names in good standing with the army was more important.

"I'll take the guest room, Sir."

"Thank you."

As she slipped into the room that should have been Ed's, Roy ran down the hall and into his own room, where he began gathering anything and everything that even remotely belonged to Ed. Everything from the comb Ed had borrowed to the stray socks that had found their way under the colonel's bed were thrown into a pile before the door. Roy rushed to make the blonde's side of the bed look as if it had never been slept on, pulling the sheet tight and throwing the extra pillows to the foot of the queen bed.

His chest heaved as he took a look about the room, his sharp eyes scanning every minute detail before they settled on the bathroom door. "Shit," he cursed, jerking the door open and nearly leaping into the washroom. He could hear Riza on the other side of the wall as she bustled about, opening and closing drawers she was no doubt packing full of the clothes and miscellaneous items Roy had left in his doorway. He began to scoop up all of the boy's personal care items, at the last second snatching the towel Ed had just used the day before. After a final sweep of the lavatory, Roy was on the move.

He glanced into the spare room as he walked to the guest bathroom, and was amazed at Hawkeye's thoroughness. All of Edward's clothes had been put away, dirty or not, into the chest of drawers along the wall. The bed looked believably slept in, and alchemical and other assorted scientific texts from Roy's library were haphazardly stacked on the bedside table. Hawkeye appeared at the colonel's side, nowhere close to winded.

"I've done the bathroom too, Sir," she informed him. "Drop those off and let's go. If you're hunch is right we don't have much time to spare."

Roy did as she suggested, not bothering to make it look pretty. Edward was a lot of things, but one thing he wasn't was apt to care about organization. The duo moved swiftly down the stairs, flipping lights off in their wake.

As they were passing through the great room, Riza stopped to inspect the file folder and papers scattered across the rug. "Is this Alphonse's file?" She asked, bending down to turn the folder over "Elric, Alphonse" was printed in bold uppercase letters on the tab, visible even in the dim light. "Where did he get this from?"

Roy shook his head. "I have no idea. I assumed Maes's team had all of Al's papers." He bent down to shuffle through them and came up with a thin plastic case, about the size of a sheet of paper and no thicker than a file folder.

"Isn't that what Hughes was keeping Alphonse's letter in?" Hawkeye asked.

"Looks like it." Roy stood from the pile, discarding the plastic casing as he did so. "Let's go Lieutenant."

"How are we going to figure out where to go next?" Riza pressed as they returned to the scene of the crime.

The colonel gingerly stepped over the dark pool of blood, breathing through his mouth as he did so. He saw Hawkeye wrinkle her nose and realized he had forgotten to warn her about the smell. It was infinitely more severe, having had time to sit in the warm room and mingle with the ammonia fumes. It was downright repulsive, and he couldn't blame her for almost gagging.

The biting thought that the decay had been inside of Edward, literally eating him alive, was enough to make the colonel sick.

"Edward figured something out," he said quietly, scanning the living room, trying to look past the sickness and destruction that had seemed to take over. The ammonia was still going, steady little puffs, and Roy wondered what the hell Ed had been doing.

What had the golden boy said about ammonia earlier?

'_Ammonia. Commonly used for agricultural purposes, treating metal, curing leather, and developing photochemical processes.'_

"Photochemical processes," he whispered, before digging around under the couch. After he failed to find anything, he carefully leaned over the mess of glass around the coffee table and reached under the wooden structure. Roy successfully came up with the letter Alphonse had written them, carefully removed from its case and hidden in a hurry. It was crinkled and reeked of ammonia, confirming the colonel's theory. He slipped the sheet of paper into the makeshift fumigation tent, then watched and waited.

"Colonel, what are you doing?" Riza questioned.

Roy was stunned when letters began to appear at the very bottom of the page, developing spotty at first. They were very light, and the alchemist crossed his fingers that the paper would hold up long enough to be developed twice. Ammonia was harsh, and the paper was not exactly pristine stationary.

"This boy is an absolute genius, Hawkeye," he whispered. "Phenolphthalein ink, it develops in a photochemical process with ammonia fumes. Our directions may have been right here the whole time."

The fumes engulfed the paper and the letters became more complete, and soon a haunting sentence stood out. Neatly written, and not Al's handwriting.

"Sir?" Hawkeye asked again, stepping up behind him.

Roy couldn't answer.

'_We're in the basement, so get to the bottom of it,'_ it read, the light colored ink so faint it was hard to read. But it was there. They flew out the door without another word.

* * *

The two soldiers stood facing each other, hands in pockets, their military issued jackets billowing in the wind. It had begun to snow on the way over, a light dusting of powder that was slowly becoming heavier. It was freezing, but the soft tremors that shook the officer and subordinate weren't primarily caused by the cold. The wind whistled around the bricked house behind them, glowing a dingy yellow in the road's lamp lights.

"Thank you for all of your help, Hawkeye," the Flame Alchemist said, feeling truly grateful. The car beside them was still running, at Roy's request. Hawkeye had given him a look then, a gaze that knew too much but obliged anyway.

"You are more than welcome, Colonel."

Roy took a deep breath and felt something tug at his chest as he looked at her. Standing straight and tall, wide awake despite the fact that it was almost four in the morning, she saluted him for what he knew could be the last time. He nodded in acknowledgement and she lowered her hand slowly, amber eyes watching him closely, waiting.

"Hawkeye, you have always been my right hand man. You have pushed me when I needed it, steered me straight when I veered off path, and saved my life more times than I can count. You are calculating and clever enough to outwit nearly any criminal, and calm and cool in the face of high stress situations. You are one _hell_ of a soldier and it has been an absolute honor to serve with you at my side." His right hand rose to his forehead in a salute.

Riza stood stunned. She dipped her upper body, if only for a moment, humbled by his praise. "Sir, I'm honored."

"I can and have always counted on you Hawkeye. And I need you to do something for me that you may disagree with," Roy said, lowering his hand.

"Sir," she said, and he could have sworn her voice had a shake to it. He could tell she knew what he was going to request, and that she was hoping it wouldn't have come to it.

"I need you to drive as far away as possible, as quickly as you can. Understand?"

"I do Sir," she confirmed, her voice cracking. Her eyes held heavy and stern, but her salute was wavering. She knew, of course she knew, how could she not? And in this good bye of sorts they were no longer superior officer and subordinate, but the friends they had never truly gotten to be throughout the years. Back then Roy had Hughes and Hawkeye had only needed herself, but the both of them knew it was time to set it all aside. Because they both knew it could be their last chance to do so.

The colonel knew he was risking his life when he wrapped her in a hug, but she returned it without hesitation. "Now I know you are going to want to look back, to turn around, but you're not going to, are you?" He asked.

"No, Sir," she said, her voice muffled by his shoulder.

He pulled away from her and stood back, their eyes locked.

"And they're going to ask you if you had any involvement in this, but you didn't, did you? You just dropped me off at my house, correct? Then you went to headquarters because in all possibility Edward could have gone there instead," Roy explained, giving her the story she would need when they came after her. He stepped back as she opened the driver's door, releasing a block of warm heat from the vehicle.

"Yes Sir."

"And you may have to sneak in, which is why you should drive quickly. Hakuro and his team should be arriving at my house about now, so you should avoid any route that takes you near there."

"Acknowledged Sir," she affirmed, slipping into the driver's seat and closing the door. Roy's hand rose in a salute that Riza knew she was not meant to return.

"Good bye Hawkeye."

"Good bye, Colonel," she answered, her voice muffle by the glass that separated him. She hesitated there for a moment, as if trying to memorize him. The lieutenant slowly put the car into drive but didn't look back up at him, not once. And liked promised she didn't even dare to glance back.

Roy watched her tail lights slowly disappear as she drove straight down the street, and he could already map out her route in his mind. She would be fine.

A frown formed on his face as he turned to face the house before him. It was a very bright yellow, so much so that it could even be seen in the dark of night. Dead, brown vines wound up the front of the porch, which looked as if it were about to collapse from a bad case of dry rot. He found it odd that despite its dilapidated state, it was not nearly as bad off as the other houses on the street, which were crumbling in ruins.

"Someone has been taking care of this place for a long time," he whispered. The newly fallen snow crunched under his boots, the light powder having already frozen. Edward himself had probably nearly frozen on the way over. Roy could only hope that the blonde had somehow gotten into the clothes Hawkeye had brought for him; he hadn't thought to have checked.

The porch steps creaked in warning as his weight was added, but he didn't feel that the wood was about to give in just yet. And so he took the other step and then another before he stood on the sagging porch. Several of the boards had already been broken, looking as if they had been stepped on, most likely by the teams of people that had come through within the past few weeks. It was then that he noticed the moderately sized yellow dots, so grimy they were hardly yellow at all, and he took a hesitant step on the first one. The structure groaned but held, and he placed his other foot on the next one. Someone had mapped out the safe places to walk, and the colonel navigated the path to the door without a problem.

He stopped when he reached the door, which seemed newer than the rest of the house, but not brand new. A few years old perhaps, no older. Caution tape hung in ribbons from the door frame, rustling lightly whenever a breeze came by. Roy couldn't tell if the tape was from the home inspection or when Hughes…

He swallowed. It wasn't the time to think about it.

He reached for the door handle, and the cold metal bit into his hand. He expected it to be locked, but it proved him wrong with the handle gave with little resistance. He gently pushed the wooden structure open, peering inside cautiously. There was no electricity in this place, only the streetlights by the road, and his eyes took a moment to adjust. He hadn't expected the lights to be turned on, and yet he had forgotten to plan on it.

He looked down to his right, and sucked in a surprised breath. A kerosene lantern sat just inside the front door, in the dark corner and almost unnoticeable. The colonel mentally crossed his fingers and slipped on one of his gloves, and with just a brush of his fingers a flame leapt within the lamp. He breathed a sigh of relief. Despite some of the shit he had run into for the past few months, his luck still seemed to be intact. After some minor adjusting on the kerosene levels, the colonel became satisfied with the warm glow when it reached a certain size, slipping his ignition glove back into his pocket. He lifted the lamp by the handle and cast an eerie glow in the decrepit household, lighting upon gritty, peeling wallpaper and a sagging ceiling.

There was a great room to his right through which he could see the opening to the kitchen, and assumed the hallway ahead branched off into the living room and a bedroom or two. Dust hung in the air like a curtain, still and silent, as if the spores had been floating for years undisturbed. The colonel took note of what Hughes had told him only a couple of weeks prior; all of the floors, except the wood in the hallway, had been pulled up. And he allowed himself to think what he had not wanted to then, too afraid that if it came to the front of his mind then it would be real. But it was real.

"Edward experimented on these floors," he whispered, his boots moving quietly over the concrete of the ground. "He tested and perfected the array he was going to use." He walked into the great room and could feel the crackle and prick of the presence of alchemy, as if his hunch wasn't proof enough. It had been a powerful arrangement and the simple act of taking away the etched pattern hadn't removed the power from the room.

Judging by the heavy presence of energy, Edward had or had very nearly activated the array. Was he crazy? Right in the slums of the city, windows unblinded from potentially prying eyes?

The colonel stepped out of the foreboding room and he continued down the hall, dipping his head inside a couple of other rooms to confirm his suspicions. A living room and two bedrooms, all with the floors removed, leaving a thick feeling of scientific intensity to each one of them. This house had been the playground of Edward and Alphonse's application, but what unsettled Roy was that there were only five rooms they had rehearsed their methods in, and five times seemed a thousand too short. And if he was correct, the smoothed out concrete in the basement that Hughes had mentioned was the final place Alphonse had stood as a living suit of armor.

He found it perfectly understandable that the enigmatic energy had gone unnoticed by both investigations and the clean up team that had come afterward. To soldiers who were non-alchemists, they would have hardly noticed a thing. The charge of alchemy, especially a charge that had a decent time to age, no matter how powerful, was typically a detail only felt by other alchemists. An alchemist would be more apt to recognize the tell tale signs of their craft; your average soldier would feel no more than the hairs on the back of their neck stand up, and they wouldn't have a clue as to why.

Roy backed out into the hallway, shining the lamp light onto the last door at the very end of the hall. It looked just like all of the others, but there were the same strips of yellow tape there had been on the front door. Bright yellow, the tattered remains reading "CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS". The alchemist sucked in an uncomfortable breath. The outside tape had been meant as a warning to any who were entering that this house was not safe. This however…

He reached forward and turned the knob, again expecting a lock but meeting so resistance. Someone had been here before him to clear the way, removing fragile barriers and releasing locks without bothering to make everything look undisturbed.

They had been in a hurry. Roy hoped he was right.

Roy shone the lantern down the flight of old wooden steeps, again hesitant to take them in fear of falling through them. He lowered the lamp to get a better look, noticing that again this part of the home looked fairly decent, and fairly new. With one had on the banister just in case, he began his descent, testing each step before he allowed it to bear his full weight.

At the bottom of the stairs, Roy stopped. Although the crime scene cleaners had done the best job they could, there was still a large stain left to lie permanently. The colonel felt the lump in his throat rise, recalling the horrible night when he hadn't meant to. He and Edward hadn't been allowed anywhere near the house then; they had arrived too late. Blue and cherry lights had been flashing and a human barricade had held the Fullmetal Alchemist back as he screamed to let him through. But all of the police and military effort to keep the alchemical pair eaway from the scene of death was futile. Because Roy was here now, and just because Hughes was currently six feet under instead of on the floor before him didn't make the pain inside of him ache any less.

He took a deep breath, straightening his shoulders before pushing off the stairs and jumping over the spot. He didn't have the time to wallow in misery and guilt. Hughes was dead, Edward was not. At least, he hoped.

The lab wasn't too gritty and didn't seem to be overrun with disease like it had once been described to him. Roy attributed it to the hazmat team who, after the investigation team had taken their share of information, had swept the place clean. Or at least, as well as they could. There was a chemical smell to the air that mixed in with the old house must, but the colonel still felt hesitant to touch anything.

The room wasn't huge, but it was big enough to house a decently put together lab. Which he guessed was newer than the house itself, but not by too many years. It hadn't been constructed by a professional either, as the wooden cabinets and porous cork board countertops seemed to scream their lack of sterility, and the sink looked nothing more than a basin one would have in their mud room.

Roy ventured over to the bookshelf, his first instinct telling him that if Edward and Alphonse had been there then a fair amount of literature couldn't be too far away. He held the lamp higher to get a good look, feeling a mix between surprise and expectation at his discovery. There were no books, not even a scrap of paper. And although the cleaners had wiped the shelves until they reeked of bleach, Roy could see a jagged line reaching from one end to the other on each shelf, one side a light brown, and the side nearest to him darker, matching the rest of the book case. "There were books here, and they were here for some time," he whispered, impressed. Where the books had sat the shelves looked brand new, unmarred by age and the general decrepit environment of the house. Whoever had taken them knew they had something to hide, presumably Edward himself.

Roy turned to survey the lab from a different angle, taking in the large expanse of concrete that looked as smooth and as new as if the house had been built no more than just months earlier. "Scene of the crime," he whispered, stepping onto the smoothly laid cement. A charged prickle ran up his leg and raised goose bumps over his entire body. It was almost too much for him to take. It had happened, right here. Where Alphonse had taken his first breath since childhood, and where the Elric brothers thought the horror of their tormented lives was finally over. Where they thought they had done the impossible. Where they thought they had _won_.

His blue eyes grew even darker at the thought, and he removed his foot from the spot. His nerves immediately calmed and the buzz that ran through his blood more fascinatingly than any shot of alcohol wore down to nothing but simple hum. He carefully stepped around the neat white square, not particularly in the mood to have another discharge shock run up his leg. Everything and more that was forbidden had happened here, and he didn't want to think about it, however much of a good thing it appeared to have been.

Instead he closed his eyes and thought back to the night of Hughes's and his conversation, back when the lab had first been seen by eyes other than those who were meant to. He had mentioned that there were no closets, no other rooms but the ones you would expect to see. He said the concrete was new and smooth, but they had checked for trapdoors anyway, and found nothing. A light bulb clicked on in his mind.

Hughes never mentioned anything about the walls. They hadn't checked the walls.

The colonel held the kerosene lamp tighter and he walked about the lab, pounding his fist on the thick wood paneling. If there wasn't some trap door, then there had to be something going on in the walls.

He was stunned when he heard the first hollow sounding _thunk_, located on a space no more interesting or plain that the rest of the lab. He tried again, a foot over, and received the same resonation of a void space. After a few more guess taps, the Flame deduced the space to be no more than a few feet wide, maybe around five feet tall. He rubbed his hand over the rough wood paneled wall, firmly pressing his palm to the center of the space, wondering what it was.

He heard a small creak and pulled his hand away as if he had been caught in a crime. His dark eyes surveyed the dull room, hoping that it wasn't some sort of trap. But the house was as quiet as ever, offering only the chill of its dirty air to console Roy, who was feeling rather lost.

He lifted his hand to the wall once again and pressed harder this time, the creak growing louder as he slowly put more strength behind it. He added a second hand to the wall and began to heave his full weight onto the structure which, to his amazement, began to move.

The colonel turned and pushed his back up against the barrier, digging his heels into the floor and pushing with all he had. Inch by inch the hidden door sunk into the basement's structure, until the colonel heard something click into place. Suddenly he was forcefully flung forward, nearly landing on his chest but managing to catch himself on one of the gritty lab tables. A rush of warm, stuffy air blew up against his back, ruffling his hair as he swiftly turned to take on whatever had thrown him.

Only to find that the culprit was the secret door he had been pushing on. The colonel eyed the wooden barrier forebodingly, lowering his defenses long enough to retrieve the kerosene lamp, which had been fortunately placed out of harm's way. The colonel approached the door and its opening with high suspicion, as if he were just waiting for a predator to lunge out of the darkness and drag him down. Roy sidestepped away from the doorway to first inspect the door, wondering what had happened. He ran his fingers down the side of the door and they brushed across smooth, coiled metal. He lowered himself to get a good look, setting the lantern on the ground. What he had felt was a tightly coiled spring, and one that was in fairly good shape considering the age and condition of the rest of the building.

"It's spring loaded," he murmured. "So I was supposed to push and let go, not to keep pushing." He could feel his cheeks heat up a bit and was thankful no one had been there to witness a door throw him across the room. Especially Edward, who have never let him live it down.

Edward.

His embarrassment fell and was replaced with a burning desire to rescue. Something was definitely amiss, he could feel it. A sense of general unease, and though the colonel had no proof that Edward was in any danger, his instincts were screaming it to him. This was one hell of a shrouded mystery, obscured by something much larger than anyone could have ever expected.

The entrance that had been opened was dark, even when lit by Roy's steadily glowing lantern. Standing a bit taller than the five feet the colonel had guessed, it was a black hole of a stairwell, seeming to want to swallow anything that dare disembark down its stone steps. He gave a loose piece of stone a hefty kick and listened and it went down, and down, and down. The staircase was spiral at first but straightened out, became taller, and the steps were plentiful. It was going to be a long trek. His chance of escaping if someone should pursue him was minimal, and if anything should happen to flight of steps, he would probably be screwed. Especially since he had no idea if this was where Edward had gone.

He took a few hesitant steps and that's when he saw something shining on the ground about four or five steps down. He held the lantern a bit lower, squinting in the darkness to get a better look. His eyes widened as a familiar smell assaulted his nose.

Blood. Blood and something rotten.

The colonel felt his heart start to hammer, and he swore he could see his chest moving through the uniform. He had been right. Edward had been trying to come here the whole time. Roy set the lantern on the step where he stood and placed a hand on the cold stone wall to steady himself. He had no idea what lay at the end of these steps, other than the fact that Edward may still be there. And if Edward was there, then he needed to be saved. Roy wasn't the first Mustang to enter a dangerous building with fear and uncertainty, and like his brother, he may not come back. But he could feel the strength and courage his sibling once gave him coursing through his veins, and he knew that he had nothing to be afraid of.

Roy thought it a miracle how Edward was able to dive into skirmishes without a second thought, his fury and recklessness disregarding swords and knives and everything dangerous. Obsession had made him that way, the colonel thought, if only to make himself feel better.

He left the lantern where is sat and pulled on his gloves as he descended the stairs.


	20. Chapter 20: Two for One

**A/N:** Hehe, many people expressed their concern that I was going to disappear for another six months. But here I am, a bit later than promised and you can thank my evil biology course for that one. This was definitely the most difficult chapter I've had to write thus far, and I'm just glad this story is moving along nicely. I apologize in advance to anyone I piss off (which is extremely likely) or make sad (pretty likely). I spent most of my time writing this chapter in the university library in the same computer carrel. There has been a spider at the window this entire month. He is one persistent spider.

**Special thanks to:** xThereIsNoSpoonx, Chrysanth Florence, Psycho Anime, Alilicious53, lizzieten, DanielDeathnote, Darkness Rise, PutThatAway, Louis1, DunTouchIt, MamaMuse, Ining-Batong (whose profile I find highly amusing), Hawk Cold Eyes, Anime Luvv, Anne Fatalism Dilettante, Cuzosu, cynder81, Kistune-the-fox, NoFaceMonster, and TehDonutSecks21. Thank you all for reading and reviewing!

Hey, you! Yeah, you! I saw you thinking about creeping to the end of the chapter! Knock it off! Geez. Cheater.

* * *

**Chapter 20:** Two For One

The light was blinding after walking in darkness for so long of a time. With each minute that passed as he descended the stone steps, Roy could feel his brain recalculating his diminishing rate of survival. He had seen something called an elevator only once, in Fuhrer Bradley's home. And he couldn't help but think that this place was in desperate need of one.

His eyes hadn't even adjusted before he heard a scream and saw something black flying at him. It was agile and cat like, leaping through the air and coming down at him from over head. The colonel snapped and felt the charge in his hand, molding it into the flames that the figure rolled in midair to escape from.

The chamber wasn't the wine cellar Roy had somewhat expected, nor was it a primal cavern with a dirt floor. He had barely enough time to gather just that much information before he let loose another strings of flames, shaping them to burst upon impact, trying to hit the shadow that was after him. He could hear a male voice yelling inaudible words, but he couldn't identify its owner over the roar of his weapon.

The shadow was quick on its limbs, scuttling along the wall like some sort of frightened spider. It dodged each and every blast the colonel sent its way with ease, keeping either one step ahead or one step behind, as it just did by pausing to let the flames hit no more than a foot in front of it before it was off in another direction. Roy could feel his heart about to burst from his chest, his adrenaline thankfully fueling his alchemy and leaving his strength for when he would need it. The alien-like being paused for one moment to look over its shoulder, glowing eyes getting a good look at the Flame Alchemist. Said alchemist's eyes narrowed and he raised a gloved hand, fingers poised in the snapping position. The figure flinched like a threatened dog, disappearing over a ledge that seemed to run the perimeter of the wall.

Roy practically choked on air after the being removed itself from his view, taking in great lungfuls to accommodate his racing heart. He was well out of practice when it came to combat; forgetting to breathe during a fight was proof enough, as if he needed anymore. But his basic training had kicked in enough and he was already surveying the room he had stumbled upon. It was huge, comparable to the size of most school gyms, although it was mostly empty. The tan tiled floors gleamed and the blood red walls lent an eerie feeling to the space, as if it weren't frightening enough. The charred evidence of Roy's defense smoked on the walls, leaving black circles. No holes meant that the entire structure was most likely concrete, making it sturdy.

His eyes passed over the feet and feet of tile, over debris on the floor that he assumed to have come from charring paint peeling off of the walls and ceiling. When Roy finally looked up to the opposite side of the chamber, his breath hitched in his throat. The body of a boy lay at the far end of the room, curled up and unmoving. He was partially covered by a red coat, and gray clothing that looked suspiciously like a hospital gown peeked out from underneath.

Roy felt absolute panic rise in his chest. "Ed!" He called out, and began to take a step forward, leftover adrenaline trying its best to push him into a run.

"Don't move!" A hoarse voice demanded, and the colonel's head spun to his right. Ed was pressed up against the wall about ten feet away, breathing labored and black jacket torn. His gloves were gone and his automail arm had been molded into a blade; he had probably been fighting almost the entire time he'd been missing. "Don't move Roy, he'll be okay on his own."

It was with those words that Roy realized the figure crumpled near the end of the room was Alphonse. He sucked in a breath, dark eyes wide as if he was seeing a ghost. And all things considered, he was. The long lost brother's head had rolled their direction, as if that were all Al could manage. His eyes were closed, but judging by the way his chest fought to rise, the colonel doubted Al was playing possum to save himself. Even through the drabby clothing he wore Roy could tell he had been wasting away.

"Ed, what the hell is this pl-" Roy began, but he was quickly cut off.

"Look here, Edo, your lover has come to your rescue!" A voice sang out from above. Roy craned his neck high, scanning the ceiling for the enemy. The ceiling was slightly curved and painted to match the floor, an edge running the perimeter where ceiling met the walls. It was to his right that he noticed the same dark figure crouched low on the ledge, shadowed head cocked to the side. It was very close to sitting right above Ed, and judging by the way the blonde didn't even bother looking around, he knew it.

"This place is my punishment," Ed whispered.

Roy felt a shiver run through his body as foreign, piercing eyes stared right through him. He couldn't even see them from the point the stranger was crouched, but he could sure as hell feel them. They were memorizing him, urging him to move so they could study him. But he couldn't.

Edward began coughing and the colonel gave him a quick once over. He thought the doctors had cleared Ed's lungs out, but he saw his assumption was wrong. They probably hadn't had enough time. Blood dribbled down Ed's chin, a vast improvement from the river that he had been coughing up earlier. Roy rescanned the room suspiciously, and felt his heart sink. The debris that was scattered about the floor was not the peeling of burnt paint, but blood. Some spots were darker than others. Not only had Edward been hacking up his own lungs, but he had to be hurt.

"And I'm fine, so don't look at me like that," Ed snapped, his voice worn and ragged. "Most of the blood is his."

It was such an obvious lie that the colonel didn't even bother arguing with him about it.

Roy eyed the still figure that was perched above, wondering if it was worth the risk. He took a hesitant step back, and then lurched forward, aiming to get to Ed. But he was quickly cut off when the stranger landed delicately beside Edward, and that's when the Flame got his first good look at a homunculus. Roy's eyes hadn't just needed time to adjust to see the being's features, mainly because it didn't have any. It was just a dark shadow, the shape of a person with eerie glowing eyes.

"Hey Flamey, long time no see," it drawled, raising a hand in a hostile greeting. Ed lashed out with his automail blade and caught the being across the cheek, a sleek line of blood marring a perfectly smooth face. With a growl the perpetrator swung around with a punch and Ed dropped his feet out, effectively ducking and rolling as the monster landed a decent sized hole in the wall. When the blonde's feet touched ground he was again dodging as the stranger leaped at him, hand outstretched to seize and harm.

The colonel's hand moved on its own, instincts driving the flames to its target. Roy was careful to avoid Ed, who had been so dangerously close to the blaze that Roy wouldn't be surprised if the younger alchemist's back was a bit singed. At least the teenager had enough sense to scramble to his superior's side, hands on his knees as he watched the wall of fire with pain lacing his face. Roy kept at it, feeding the flames with utmost concentration until the figure within them fell to its knees.

"It's nice of you to try, but it's not gonna do any good," Ed said quietly and Roy dropped his hand to his side. Roy had so many questions he was desperate to ask, but he didn't even know where to start. So he didn't.

"I don't think anyone can survive that, Edward," the colonel said, watching as the smoke began to rise to the high ceiling. He looked up to see that there were a few vents at the top of the room, and he hoped that they worked. If the stairwell was the only source of ventilation, not only would his alchemy prove to be dangerous but it wouldn't be the best situation for Ed, who already looked to be on the verge of passing out.

"You'd be surprised," said blonde responded, raising himself straight when the visibility finally cleared. His golden eyes were rippling like liquid gold, anger mixed with something like awe. The colonel followed Edward's gaze, and his stomach dropped.

The figure was again standing, head cocked to the side as if curious. Every single muscle fiber was visible, and Roy felt as if he were again sitting through anatomy class, studying the pattern that muscles took on in the body. They weren't even _burned_, not even a little bit. Perfectly pink, perfectly healthy. "What the hell is this, Ed?" The colonel whispered.

The figure sighed, and there was a buzz in the air accompanied by a flash of light. "Hey, just because I can die doesn't mean I like to, you know," he griped, brushing off a black wrist cuff as if the article of clothing had gathered dust.

Roy remembered reading Ed's report about Laboratory 5 (after he had swam through the ungately amount of bills the brothers had left as a diversion). Edward and Alphonse had described three homunculi at the time, adding in what the blonde considered 'sketches' of them along with their call names.

Envy stood before them, looking vaguely of the palm tree Edward had drawn all that time ago, but much more frightening. Sinister amethyst eyes weren't something the colonel was used to.

"What? Why all the sudden so shy?" Envy asked, putting a hand on his hip and sticking his bottom lip out in a mock pout. "I don't bite. You humans don't taste good anyway."

"You are _not_ funny," Ed snapped, annoyance prickling the edges of his voice. But Envy waved him off, seeming to be much more interested in the alchemist that had interrupted his and Edward's little spat.

"And what are you doing here anyway, Colonel? I guess this does concern you just a bit, but it's more of a…_family_ affair, if you will," Envy said, putting the emphasis on family.

Roy felt hesitant to talk to such a monster, but if Ed could do it, he could too. Couldn't he?

"Family isn't a term only saved for those related by blood," the colonel said, smirking. He raised a hand, trying to hide any trace of fear he felt when all Envy did was grin. "When you mess with someone of my command, you may as well mess with my family."

"You're pretty damn brave. Or pretty damn stupid, I can't tell which," Envy mused.

All it took was the green haired homunculus venturing one step toward the pair of alchemists for Ed to snap. He swung his flesh leg behind Roy and then swept it forward, knocking the older alchemist to the ground. He then launched himself at Envy, who gleefully leapt aside as if he enjoyed being chased. Roy had managed to catch himself before he hit the ground, consolidating gases to act as a cushion under his palm. He didn't want a concussion, and he sure as hell didn't want a broken wrist. Ed and Hawkeye must have been trading notes on the most effective ways to subdue him. He always knew they were traitorous.

By the time he righted himself the dueling pair was half way to the other end of the room, eyeing each other. Each time one got a step too close the other backed away, eyes flashing in warning. The colonel began to approach them quickly, aiming to get to Ed's side and help. Ed paused, startled by Roy's gutsy, albeit stupid, move. "No you idiot, stay put!" He yelled.

But Envy immediately took his attention off of Ed and lunged at Roy, who put on the brakes so quickly he slid a few feet over the smooth flooring. But Envy was already at his side, and all it took was the top of the monster's foot into Roy's ribcage to snap the bones. He could hear them crack, one two or more in a row, and it took the wind right out of him. His blonde savior came up fast beside Envy and clocked him a solid one into the side of the head, earning a hiss and returned punch that missed Ed by a mere few inches. And they were off again, leaving Roy in the dust as they moved width wise across the room. Roy wished he could listen to Ed, he really, really did. But what made the blonde think he had one over on Envy was a mystery to him, considering the thing didn't even _flinch_ after having its skin melted off.

Roy pressed a hand experimentally to his side, disgusted as his middle ribs caved in and shot ripping pain up and down his side. He was extremely lucky it hadn't been his arm. As long as he had the top and bottom of his ribcage intact, he would just have to bear with it. He gritted his teeth and a pressed his hand to his side harder, wishing he had even just a small length of bandage.

"Are you okay?" Ed asked, appearing at his right. He was on high alert, his eyes flickering every which way and he offered his left hand to Roy. The colonel sucked in a breath as the boy hauled him up.

"He just snapped some ribs," the colonel gritted, holding his side.

"Serves you right," Ed muttered, inspecting Roy's side as the colonel looked around. There was no sign of the homunculus, and that made him nervous. Ed took a step back and glared at Roy, who looked at him in a perplexed manner. "Stay out of our way. He doesn't want _you_, he wants _me_, and you're not helping," Ed snapped, faux anger lacing his voice. But what his words could hide his eyes couldn't, and they were snapping between troubled and alarmed.

"You can't take him on by yourself," Roy said, nodding at Ed's torn clothes.

"I was doing just fine before you showed up," Ed replied roughly, crossing his arms as if to hide the multiple wounds he had. "And you won't be much use unless you're going to burn me up too."

"Well I'm not leaving, so you'd better decide what to do with me," the colonel commanded, dark eyes set stubbornly on his similarly mulish subordinate. Ed's eyes narrowed and as he opened his mouth a sharp whistle echoed throughout the room. Both alchemists' heads snapped upward, and there was Envy, sitting very nonchalantly on the ledge and swinging his legs back and forth.

"Boring," their enemy yawned, before jumping down like a ballerina. He hit the ground lightly and Ed pushed his superior officer against the wall, hand on the man's chest and he turned to look at Envy. The homunculus was sizing the both of them up, walking back and forth and inching forward as he did so.

"What I want you to do, is stay put," Ed told Roy, slowly walking toward where Envy stood, leaving the older man against the wall. "And DON'T MOVE," he shouted without looking back, clapping his hands together and sharpening the blade on his automail arm. His boots padded over the tile a ever quickening pace until he was running full on into danger.

As he got to Envy, the monster grinned and dropped down, Edward's sword taking off the very tips of his hair.

"For geniuses, you two aren't very smart," Envy sneered, landing a knee in the blonde's stomach. Ed was so accustomed to being able to take impact that Roy guessed he was surprised when he couldn't. The teenager's arms flailed, as they had perhaps aimed on taking Envy's head off and were awkwardly redirected in keeping Ed on his feet. Out of the goodness of his nonexistent heart Envy snatched a breathless Ed's jacket collar and yanked him up, as if planning to dangle the boy in front of him like a fish.

The blonde's golden eyes flashed. Rule number one: do not underestimate Edward Elric's intelligence. "_I'm_ the genius. _He_ is lazy," Ed grated before he threw his arms in the air.

Roy almost felt like laughing when the blonde pulled the same move he had in the colonel's bathroom weeks ago. The Fullmetal easily slipped out of his jacket and his feet lightly hit the floor. He was wearing a long sleeved black shirt underneath, but it was torn almost as badly as the jacket had been. He ducked down low, and the heel of his boot made contact with Envy's jaw before the monster even had time to comprehend what had just happened.

Ed ended up around eight or nine feet away, crouched low and ready to take on more. Envy's amethyst eyes were wide as he rubbed his jaw, and he looked at Ed with an unreadable expression. Said teenager tensed as those inhuman eyes were put on him, and he began to back up on little step at a time. Roy took the time to catch another glimpse of Al, who was silently observing the scene playing out before them with half lidded hazel eyes. Even at a distance Roy could see nothing but pain within them, pain pain pain, a fogginess that could only come from long term abuse and drugs. Alphonse had given up.

Ed was looking at the colonel strangely, probably wondering what the colonel was looking at, and so Envy decided to see what Ed was looking at, and so both Envy and Ed followed the colonel's gaze. Al flinched and his eyes squeezed shut as the violet pair of eyes landed on him, and Envy grinned.

"You weren't so desperate to get away from me six months ago Edo!" Envy boomed, and Ed froze.

"Don't," he said lowly, voice full of warning. As if to emphasize he raised his blade in front of him, body tense and ready to spring forward.

"Oh you'll have to beg a little better than that, Edo," the monster cackled, amused. He began to walk a large circle around Ed, hands clasped behind his back as he sauntered around, passing very close to the young alchemist on one particular side. Roy realized that Envy was trying to push Ed to the far side of the room. Toward Al? Who had turned his head away, and the colonel was thankful. He didn't want to look into those eyes again, no matter how close or how far away the young Elric was.

Ed was slowly pivoting and shifting as needed, keeping an even distance between them, his golden eyes not leaving the homunculus for a millisecond. "Envy you'd better shut up or I'll-"

"Or you'll what? Kick me again?" He laughed, and the hairs on the back of Roy's neck stood up. His instincts were screaming for him to run, telling him that he had never been in more danger in his life. A laugh from something that seemed to only feel anger was _not_ a good thing. Roy fought to keep himself quiet and still, not wanting to become some sort of liability. There wasn't much he could do, with him short of breath and the both of them moving so quickly around each other. That and he'd just have his IQ put into question again since Ed seemed keen on making him out to be the stupid one.

"Go ahead, tell him. Tell your little boyfriend what you did," Envy demanded, attempting to grab Ed by his braid. The alchemist swung around with his automail arm and Envy leapt over him, coming a bit too close to the Flame Alchemist for his comfort. Roy jumped out of the way, backing up until his back hit the wall. He sucked in a breath as his body protested, patiently reminding him that he was a bit structurally challenged at the moment.

"Ignore him Ed!" Roy shouted, pounding a fist into the wall. "He's just trying to get at you from the inside out!"

But the blonde was already irate, lip curled in a snarl as he ignored his superior officer. "Shut _up!_" He screeched at Envy, pulling a one eighty and nearly slicing into the monster's side.

The homunculi skipped a few steps backward, and Roy felt terror clench in his gut. Envy wasn't at all alarmed, and the colonel knew it was just a game to him. "Awh, what? Are you too bashful?"

Ed leapt forward with a yell, swinging.

"EDWARD!" Roy yelled. Ed's face had gone from anger to panic as he again launched himself at Envy. He was beginning to tire, his movements becoming more sluggish and careless as he lugged his automail limbs to keep up with the rest of him. "ED STOP!"

"Too embarrassed to admit fraternizing with the enemy?" Envy cooed, neatly stepping to the side and leaping nearly ten feet away with a coughing blonde in pursuit. The colonel pushed off the wall, his ears ringing with Envy's words that he couldn't quite ignore. Ed had begun to push Envy toward the front of the room, away from Al and away from being cornered like an animal. Roy followed at a steady pace, watching as the two intertwined and broke apart again, limbs flying with the solid sounds of fists and feet making contact.

"Too self-conscious to describe how you sold your body?" Envy and Ed became entangled for a brief moment near the stairwell, a scuffle that looked like two dogs trying to one up each other. Roy stopped and his dark eyes followed each and every movement, waiting for the one still moment where he could interfere. The homunculus humorously swung himself onto Ed's shoulders with a lightness that no human or animal possessed. He leaned in close, lips nearly touching Edward's ear. The colonel felt a possessive anger wash over him, and raised his hand to aim a well-directed flame toward the monster.

"And all just to get that body for your wittle brother?" Envy whispered, and both alchemists froze.

The colonel had heard so much information that he hadn't wanted to believe for the past few months. That his subordinate's brother had passed away. That the Fuhrer was going after said subordinate to keep for himself. And that his best friend had been murdered at the hands of an unknown perpetrator.

And the last thing he ever thought he would hear, not even mention believe, was just laid out before him.

The green haired being blew a soft stream of air into Ed's ear, and the blonde screamed before lashing out. As Envy jumped off and began a back flip through the air, Roy took his chance.

"GET DOWN!" He bellowed, sending out a string of flames as he did so. Ed tucked and rolled as the explosion ripped the air apart, automail arm and blade instinctively covering the back of his head and neck. Roy had his feet planted firmly as the air rushed around him, the sound of the burst pounding right through his body. He side ached and protested, but only for a moment and he did his best ignoring it. He looked to his left, where Ed had already begun to pull himself up, shoulders shaking with the effort. Despite knowing it wasn't a safe move in the least, Roy raced over to help heave him up.

As they got Ed's feet steady on the ground, the colonel noticed Ed was avoiding his eyes. But he didn't care, because dammit this brat was going to look him in the eye and explain what the _fuck_ was going on. "Edward Elric, look at me," he said lowly, but Ed refused. He put a hand to his chest and took a deep, wheezing breath, watching the dispersing smoke with pseudo interest. Roy reached out and grabbed Ed's chin, forcing the young alchemist to look at him. "What the _hell_ did he say?" He demanded behind clenched teeth.

"Sometimes you have to do what you have to do, Roy," he answered. Roy released Ed's chin and the blonde rubbed the afflicted area, eyeing Roy as if he weren't sure if he should be angry or remorseful.

"What does he mean, Ed? What did you do?" He asked, spitting out the last sentence like a master rubbing his dog's face in the trash he'd gotten into. Roy's hand was still reached out, and Ed lowered it ever so gently. At least he was coherent enough to know that the older alchemist was having bone issues. He'd probably had countless broken ribs over the years, and knowing that Edward most likely pitied him only made Roy angrier.

Ed squared his jaw and his shoulders, as if trying his best to keep what little dignity he had left. "I gave my brother what I promised him. I gave up my body for his."

And suddenly it was all too clear.

Why Edward had been so nervous about physical contact.

Why Edward had been so embarrassed.

Why Edward had acted like he'd known what he was doing that night.

Roy felt sick. He felt angry. And worst of all, for some reason, he felt _hurt_.

"Please tell me I did not just hear that you whored yourself out to a monster."

"I would take the time to explain and apologize but if you haven't noticed there are a few more pressing matters at hand," Ed said darkly.

"WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THAT?" The colonel shouted, aching to grab ahold of the boy and shake him. But he knew it wouldn't do any good, they were both hurt and if they were going to make it out alive then they couldn't fight each other. At least not at the moment, because there was a shiny new pistol in the second drawer of Hawkeye's desk that Ed was going to be acquainted with as soon as possible.

"He knew how to use the stone, Roy. We each had something the other wanted. It seemed like a fair enough trade to me," Ed whispered, his golden eyes downcast. A figure began to emerge from the rising smoke to the left of them, and the two alchemists watched as Envy made another entrance. He stopped quite a bit away, observing Ed with a glint in his eye that Roy didn't like at all.

"You see," Envy drawled, nodding slowly at the elder Elric brother, "I was lucky enough to have gotten to watch that bitch try to use it before. I watched, I learned from her trial and error." The homunculus swept a hand across the space, as if hosting the grand opening of a fabulous event. But all there was to see was blood, debris, and a boy who for all they knew had already taken his last breath. "This place is older than your mother and her mother and her mother combined. This is where I got my first taste of this world, and when I first began to learn." He paused and gave Ed a very slow once over, a sinister grin slowly filling his face. His violet eyes didn't smile along. "I'm so lucky I did too, look what I got to play with," he purred, gesturing outward as if to run a hand down Ed's cheek.

"You killed your own mother, didn't you?" Ed stated lowly, peering at Envy from underneath his bangs.

Envy snorted in annoyance, running his pale fingers through long olive colored hair. "Homunculi don't _have_ mothers, you little nit. We are _created_, not _born_," he snapped. "But you'd better believe the second that bone was out of her hands I was done with her. You can thank our daddy for that." Envy paused, and then laughed cruelly. "Oh wait, no you can't!"

Pain flickered through Ed's eyes and his shoulders slumped, if only for a moment. Up till that point, any mention of Ed's father had always been met with a string of curses and a threatening of bodily harm. It took a moment for Roy to understand, to grasp what the homunculus was implying. He couldn't figure out what the bone had to do with anything, but if Hoenheim had also given the piece of skeleton up, then it meant Envy had probably done away with him too. Edward and Alphonse were officially the orphans they had felt like since their mother had passed away.

"_Our_ daddy?" Roy whispered, looking to the blonde next to him.

"Oh yes!" Envy answered, and a blush of pure shame spread across Ed's cheeks. "I told you, Colonel, this is a _family_ affair."

"But – that means – he's your brother?" Roy turned to look at the adolescent by his side in bewilderment. "Ed?"

"He's not my brother," Ed said hollowly, lifting his head to stare bitterly at the fiend before them. "Homunculi are _not_ the people they were intentionally brought back to be. He may have been created by my father, with my half-brother's remains, but he's no brother of mine." Roy opened his mouth to speak but Ed through a hand in the air, clearly telling him to keep quiet. Roy knew Ed could be terrifying. He had fought the boy himself after all, no more than a couple of years ago. He was unrestrained and calculating, each move of his body and flash of his alchemy made with the intention of keeping his pride. But as the Fullmetal lowered his hand, the colonel saw something more this time. He had never personally witnessed Edward fight to defend his brother, but he had heard stories. And by the way Ed's automail hand was about to grind itself into dust from only a tightly clenched fist, Roy was glad he never had.

"And you can tell he's not one bit my family," Ed hissed as he began to stomp forward, teeth barred like an animal and hand out to stop Roy from following him. "Because he's so jealous and desperate he would even kidnap and kill my only family to try and take his place."

It was relatively easy to make Envy snap, the colonel figured. He was very similar to Edward, and while the blonde had made a good point that homunculi were not the people they were made to be, they still shared certain characteristics. And one thing both Ed and Envy couldn't stand to hear about were their families. And it was when the care-free demeanor on Envy's face cracked that Roy realized Ed was going to be one step too slow.

"HEY!" The colonel shouted, lurching forward as if trying to avert Envy's attention. But the homunculus had his mind made, and the toll on Ed's body was at the very edge. It was just like Edward and more to not realize his limits, especially when he expected them to go above and beyond. All it took was one swift grab as the blonde swung by the raging assailant for Envy to immobilize his metal ankle and send him crashing to the ground, right onto his chest. The colonel could hear Ed shout and choke, the sound of liquid hitting the ground making his stomach churn. Envy made quick work of plucking the blonde up by his shirt, putting Edward on his feet, which were very unsteady. And judging by the amount of blood that had come forth from Ed's mouth at impact, it didn't surprise the colonel one bit. Roy's gloved hand curved in front of him and he wondered how much more the blonde could stand to lose.

"Keep away from him Roy!" Ed begged as Envy lifted him by his collar, the seams of the fabric loudly protesting against his weight. Edward's voice was strained and gravelly, forcing the little air he could hold into words. Roy had his hand raised and poised, wanting so badly to defend the young man but knowing he couldn't without hurting him. Ed's teeth were clenched and he was looking at the older alchemist with anxiety in his eyes. "He can do whatever he wants! KEEP AWAY FROM HIM!"

Roy lowered his hand, dark eyes wide. It was times like these that made him realize how truly inefficient his alchemical method was, why the nickname 'Colonel Useless' had stuck in the first place. He could barely deal with crowds, and he sure as hell couldn't deal with hostages. It's why he had kept Hawkeye so close to him after all; where the flames failed, there was always a sniper to take its place.

But even Hawkeye couldn't save him now. Here, he was truly and utterly exposed as weak.

"You were fun to fuck around with," Envy murmured, ignoring the colonel and pressing his face dangerously close to Ed's, who couldn't very well fight back with fists but was usually never afraid to use his teeth. Instead he whimpered as the homunculus brushed their cheeks together, squeezing his eyes shut as if being so close to the enemy made him physically ill. "Too bad you fucked with the wrong substances and got yourself sick, hm? Made you forget didn't it, made you refuse me, yes? We would have never had to go through this."

"I should have refused you from the very start," Ed grated from between his clenched teeth. "You aren't worth it, you never were." Ed's face became all but frightening, and he stared at Envy out of the corner of his eye. "Just like you weren't even worth your own father's time," he finished darkly, clearly pleased with himself when Envy faltered. The blonde seemed to really be in the mood with screwing with Envy's mind, but as Envy took on the most horrifyingly frightening expression the colonel had ever witnessed, Roy wondered if it was really a game Ed should be playing.

There was absolutely zero hesitation. Like a human throwing a stick Envy pitched Ed across the room, and the blonde hit the wall near his brother with a resounding crack. His eyes went wide as he cried out, his knees hitting the ground first and his body falling to the floor soon after.

He didn't get up.

"Ed!" Roy shouted, fear rising in his chest. The teenager didn't even cough as blood ran down his chin, his eyes shadowed by dirty bangs.

"Oh don't feel too bad for him, Colonel," Envy said breezily as Edward lay crumpled on the floor, unmoving. Roy slowly looked up at the homunculus, eyes wide and disbelieving. "_It is not as if he were the only one affected by this_," Envy informed the man, raising his hands in a shrug as he imitated in perfection the voice of Levi Anderson.

"Anderson?" Roy snarled, his fingers itching to send a blaze in the homunculus's direction. His broken body flared in protest, so the colonel loosened his hand to hide his pain.

"Only part time!" Envy cackled, his voice returning to its usual androgynous husk. "It sure did fool your photography obsessed buddy into staying in the basement a second too long. I also do a damn good impression of a dead body, if ya know what I mean," he said with a wink and a grin.

A jolt of heat flew through Roy's body, a startled feeling that jump started his anger. "You," Roy hissed. Suddenly his ribs didn't hurt anymore. Nothing could have hurt more than the animosity and grief that then clouded his heart. He snapped without thinking, and Envy scrambled to the side as the air next to him exploded, gangly limbs closely pulling him out of the way.

"YOU KILLED HIM!" The colonel roared, advancing with intimidating purpose. The adrenaline coursing through his veins was like nothing he had ever felt before. This thing, this _monster, _had killed his best friend, all but sexually assaulted Edward and had the _nerve_ to hurt Alphonse just to get back at Ed for leaving him. Roy had never wanted to kill before; he had never wanted to steal someone's life away just because he could, or even to save himself. But Envy had loosened the tie in Roy Mustang's sanity, and he had screwed with the wrong humans. He. Would. _Die_.

"He was nothing but a worm, just like the rest of you," Envy reasoned, still on one knee as he began to defend his case. He had to roll to avoid the next explosion and began to take off in a string of back flips, each time narrowly missing the fiery weapon that was aimed at him.

"HIS NAME WAS LIEUTENANT COLONEL MAES HUGHES!" Mustang all but screamed, his heart beating so fast he wouldn't have been surprised if it pounded right out of his chest. He landed a well aimed explosion at the monster's feet, causing Envy to slip and crash onto the ground. As the green haired being scrambled up Roy was already in his startled looking face, his own expression aiming to kill on contact.

"SOLDIER, HUSBAND, AND _FATHER!_" The colonel hissed, grabbing Envy by the neck and slamming him up against the wall.

"You think I give a shit, Colonel?" Envy asked sweetly, the back of his head making contact with the wall when Roy's fist made facial contact. The alchemist thought he heard a bone in his hand crack along with the back of Envy's skull, but he didn't feel any pain. Yup, the walls were definitely concrete.

The colonel could tell that his punches were having no affect on the monster. Envy was taking them just for show, and even though Roy knew it the action of 'hurting' the one who had hurt him and others in more ways than he could count still made him feel slightly better. Hit by hit his knuckles became sore, scratched and lacerated until he couldn't tell if it was Envy's blood or his own that spilled into his hands. All he wanted was for this fiend to suffer as they had all suffered at his hands, even if only for a moment.

The homunculus managed to cross his arms in front of him before spreading them wide, knocking Roy back on his ass and flipping him around. The colonel screamed out in anger and frustration, slamming his hands into the ground even though his body screamed back at him. He shakily rose and began to turn, something in his body hitting the boiling point. He was going to snap, over and over and over again, because this monster couldn't survive forever.

It seemed he wasn't the only one who was ready to finish it, because apparently Envy had had enough. Out of the corner of his eye Roy saw a flash of light and turned just in time to see Ed coming up fast behind the homunculus. As well as hear the gun that Envy had materialized go off.

Didn't things like this happen in slow motion? Shouldn't he have been given enough time to ponder his life's purpose, his life's waste? Wasn't he supposed to see everyone he cared about flash before his eyes? Hear Riza nag at him one last time for the paperwork he should have done yesterday, listen as Jean gleefully bragged about the woman he'd been seeing who Roy hadn't managed to steal? Was impending death supposed to be this lonely?

Roy hit the ground hard and slid a couple of feet on his back, knocking the wind out of him. He didn't even bother moving or trying to get up, it would only kill him faster. The most he could manage was a groan of pain and fear. He was going to die; there was no way around it, he could feel multiple gunshots right into his most vital organs. The amount of pain was incredible, flaring up in his chest, shoulder, and abdomen, each holding more injured locations than just one. He was a goner. Roy had been shot before, but never in so many vulnerable places; the aim that Envy had was amazing. And it must have been some gun to have sent off so many shots at once, but if you were Envy and could do whatever you wanted, anything was possible.

How long does it take for people to bleed out? It would depend on what Envy had hit, what points on the body the slugs had gone through. He figured he had at most a minute, taking into account all of the places on his body that were on fire. Why wasn't he hearing anything? Shouldn't Ed be fighting with that monster? Shouldn't Envy be making sure he was dead? Or was he on the way out, his senses already dead as a last ditch effort to preserve his life?

He lifted the arm which shoulder had not been hit, and felt for the point in his chest, right over his heart, which he knew would be the most fatal of all.

Only to feel the slug sticking half way out of his chest.

His dark eyes flew open. He felt up to his shoulder and could feel the same protrusion, the projectile barely making it past his uniform. His brow furrowed and he opened his eyes, the world tipping dangerously as he sat up. He pressed his left hand to his head, gritting his teeth as he waited for his vision to right itself. He saw more bullets sticking out of his body, their silver ends flat and shiny. In his dazed state he could barely make sense of what was laid out before him.

Envy was frozen to the spot, gun still held to the side, finger still pulling on the trigger. His teeth were clenched and violet eyes wide. Ed was on his knees at Envy's side, clutching at his chest with his flesh hand, his automail hand firmly planted on the homunculus's thigh.

"Are you okay?" Ed called out, his voice strained. The colonel laid his head back on the floor and raised a hand in the air, pressing his index finger and thumb together.

"Now look what you did," he could hear Ed chide, as if he were speaking to a child that had done something naughty. "That wasn't very nice."

"Fuck you," Envy rasped, grunting and straining against a restraint that Roy couldn't see. The ceiling was rather soothing at that moment, and frankly he could have fallen asleep right there if Ed had told him to do so. But Ed was mean, even if he had somehow saved the colonel's life.

"Take all of the bullets out, Roy. And bring them over here," Ed wheezed.

Roy, confused and tired, obliged. He winced as he eased each shot out of his body, feeling the tug of his skin as the expanded end of the cap caught on his muscle. One by one they came loose, blood staining his uniform like a cork pulled from a tilted wine bottle. Six in all, slick blood stained silver that threatened to slip from his fingers if he wasn't careful.

He cupped them in his hand tightly, as if he were afraid that if they should escape they would lodge themselves back within him, finishing the job they had meant to carry out. Roy forced himself to his knees and then his feet, wobbling as his muddled mind tried to gain balance for his shocked body. He had to snap himself out of it; in the back of his head a voice was frantically telling him to calm down, he was okay, he was okay. He couldn't let his mind put him in a grave, like the sergeant years ago who was shot in the leg and died because he had convinced himself he was fatally injured. But it was difficult to not assume he was hallucinating; what in this world could stop six perfectly crafted bullets from completely piercing their target?

The walk over was taking so long; Edward and Envy had to have been no more than twenty feet away. Roy had to tell himself step by step, watching his boots cover as much ground as a field mouse. He hurt, his chest felt ready to explode; is this how Ed had felt all these weeks?

Envy had begun to growl when the colonel was within ten feet of the pair, and was snarling like a wild beast when Roy was just a few feet away. "Why did this happen?" Roy panted, opening his hand. The slugs pinged to the floor, blood marring the surface of the clean tan tiles.

"They're all a part of him," Ed explained, coughing into his torn sleeve. He looked to Roy with unfocused golden eyes, as if he were barely there. "Remember how they never found the slug in Hughes's autopsy? It's because when Envy changed back, the slug returned to him. The gun and its ammo were never actually real. Understand?"

In a strange sort of way, Roy did. He felt a strong urge to fall to his knees, but he fought it and stood tall.

"What's in your hand?"

"It's one of Envy's bones, from when he was human. That's what my father gave to me. He can't go near it without becoming weak. Hold it directly to his skin and he can't move," Ed explained softly, a small smile in place as he stared at the floor.

The older alchemist's eyes widened in understanding. "So when your father gave it to you-"

"Envy killed him," Ed concluded.

"Which is why Hoenheim was so nervous. He knew what was going to happen," Roy said aloud, a handful of missing puzzle pieces fitting into place. "He didn't tell you everything because he didn't want you to be killed, too."

"Or you," Ed pointed out.

"So how could he touch you the whole time you were fighting?" Roy asked curiously. He scooted one foot out a bit, making his stance a bit wider and steadying his wavering frame.

"I left the box in the coat I put on Al," Ed explained. "I didn't want Envy to be able to hurt my little brother again. Especially in front of me."

Roy's expression fell into suspicion. If Ed had needed the bone to immobilize Envy, and it was in his jacket on Al on the other side of the room, then… "You antagonized him on purpose, didn't you?" The colonel said flatly, knowing that even if Ed denied it that he was right.

Surprisingly the teenager just shrugged. Even though his skin was pale and his unfocused eyes suggested he had a concussion, Edward acted as if being thrown like a football was no big deal. "It was the fastest way over."

"You almost got yourself _killed_. Hell, you almost got _me _killed," Roy deadpanned.

"No, _you_ almost got _yourself_ killed," Ed said hollowly, and _there was that damn finger pointing again_. "I thought you were smart enough to not piss him off. Sorry for thinking you could hold your own for five minutes."

Roy gave in and plopped himself on the ground, running a hand through his hair. He wasn't too surprised when it came back a bit bloody; he had hit the ground pretty hard. He had the urge to bring his knees up to his chest, but taking into account that it felt as if his detached ribs were about to float away he decided against it. So he opted instead to let his legs splay out in front of him. "You know, this would have been a lot easier if you'd come to me instead of escaping the hospital. If you'd waited another ten minutes I would have-"

"I'm sorry I ran away, Roy," Ed wheezed, cutting in. "I was asking for you but the nurses kept saying you weren't allowed in my room. And then they put me on this weird IV medicine and all of the sudden I remembered and I had to go. I couldn't wait for it to disappear again."

Roy felt his heart twinge at the first of Ed's words. But his brow dipped in confusion at Edward's breathless conclusion. "What do you mean, Ed?"

Ed began to get to his feet and Envy's muscles tensed, as if waiting for the blonde's hand that held the bone to slip. "I had to go while I knew what I was doing," was his simple explanation, a bit better than his usual 'I broke the thing at the place', but not leading to much more. He took Roy's hand and placed it over his own holding the brittle bone. "I need you to hold this to him, Roy. Do. Not. Move."

Roy obeyed.

Edward clapped his hands together and placed them to the floor, and Roy could have sworn he saw the boy grow even paler. A large transmutation circle seemed to pull itself out of the tiled floor, flying across the room until it reached out to Alphonse as well. Ed managed to return his automail arm to normal as he did so, gritting his teeth as the transmutation slowly died down into nothing. The blonde sat there on his knees, and for a moment the Flame wondered if alchemy was just too much for Ed at this point. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, Edward had straightened himself and stood observing his handiwork.

The colonel frowned and wobbled to his feet, the flat surface of his palm holding the bone to Envy while it helped him up. Knowing Ed, he was set on blowing this place to bits, and the colonel would be damned if he would let him. They would never survive the run up the stairs with an explosion on their tails, especially with Al, who looked to be dead weight. As he straightened his back and had a look around, Roy's eyes widened.

It was a sacrificial circle.

Ed began to move, and the colonel's head whipped around to see what he was up to. Edward must have known Roy would know what the array was, because he made quick work of using his blood to draw sacrificial target points onto Envy. The monster growled and violently shook, fighting the invisible restraints with all of his might. The older alchemist's gloved hand was digging into the homunculus's back, which was arched as if in an attempt to get away.

"Look here you fucking maggot! You don't know who the fuck you're dealing with! I should have fucking killed you! You hear me? AND I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Edward flinched but continued his work, pausing when the last point was to be put on Envy's forehead. Roy could only see Ed's face from where he stood, studying the boy's expression. Ed didn't look sad, or scared, or remorseful. Ed looked like he had finally been relieved of the thousand pound weight he had been carrying for the past few months, and he just looked tired. Very, very tired.

"Was it still worth it?" He asked quietly.

Envy looked as if he had never wanted to kill someone more in his pseudo life. Ed simply put a hand to Envy's shoulder blade and pushed, and the homunculus lowered himself with no resistance. Roy must have had a funny expression on his face, as Ed managed a light chuckle and he placed the last point on Envy's forehead. "Being around their human parts also makes homunculi very…cooperative."

He finished with a flick of his hand, wiping bloody fingers on his shirt. "I don't have enough energy to activate the circle. But I can carry out the transmutation," he explained, tugging anxiously on his sleeve.

"What are you saying, Ed?" The colonel asked, confused. He took a look at the circle, and realized how very intricate a sacrificial circle it was. He pondered the swirled lines, marveling over the boy's intelligence and knack for alchemy. It was pretty amazing how a teenager could pull off an array made for two –

Roy paused in mid thought, brows furrowing. He could see Ed to his right, growing increasingly uncomfortable as the older alchemist more closely examined his work. "Ed, you can put as many sacrificial points on Envy as you want, but unless there are two sacrifices this array won't-" Roy stopped abruptly, his eyes widening. The boy refused to meet his gaze, so Roy grabbed Edward's flesh arm and pulled up his sleeve a swift one-handed move. The same blood red sacrificial target stared him in the face.

"You planned for this," Roy whispered in horror as Ed jerked his wrist out of the colonel's grasp.

"Roy, I want you to activate the circle. I want you to activate the circle, and then I want you to run. As fast as you can," Ed instructed, sitting down cross legged next to the seething homunculus, seemingly as calm as you like. He wrapped his automail fingers around the Envy's bone, pulling Roy's loose and weakly trying to push the man away.

"I can't do that to you!" Roy replied, appalled that Ed would even consider asking him to give his lover's life away. Ed had done no more than return his hand to his side, and he'd be damned if he would be going anywhere, let alone doing something so horrid. "If Envy is so weak around the bone then just kill him! Just kill him and it'll all be over!"

Ed slowly shook his blonde head, golden eyes sad despite the smile he held on his face. "That's not how this is going to work, Roy," he said, gesturing to Envy and the gun with its six bloody bullets lying at his feet. "He needs to be eradicated. I can't say for sure that he would stay dead if I killed him. And just sacrificing him, a soulless creature, wouldn't be enough to heal Alphonse."

"Roy. Look at me," the blonde said, and the colonel looked at him. At his pale skin, his hollowing out cheeks, the dried blood trickling down his chin, the many lacerations across his body that had begun to clot, but not before soaking his torn clothes in liquid life. "I'm dying. I am going to die. If I don't do something, Alphonse is going to die too. If I do this then at least my death will mean something." Ed coughed and touched his first two fingers to his lip, and they came back covered in fresh blood. The young alchemist held them up to Roy, as if they were all the proof in the world. "This thing, whatever it is, is killing me. I was never going to get better. You and I both knew this." He wiped his mouth on his ripped sleeve, smearing some blood on his arm as he did so. He was absolutely covered in it; Roy knew he had to be, there was no guessing to it. "My brother, he can be helped. This is his only chance. I have a few days if I'm lucky, he has the rest of his life."

Roy slowly went down on one knee, steadying his side with a firm hand. The sudden lack of adrenaline was giving him tremors, and his shiver of his muscles sent a jolt of pain through him. "They said there was still a chance of recovery," the colonel said quietly, hopefully. But somehow he knew he was wrong. He was the child playing his last good card, out of arguments and out of time.

"See him, Roy?" Edward asked, looking back at Alphonse. Roy followed those striking golden eyes, over to where his brother lay. This time Ed hadn't completely covered his sibling with the red coat, probably out of panic to get back to the colonel. A painfully thin arm peeked out of a rolled-up sleeve, his elbow nothing more than a sharp, boney corner. "He's been nothing a victim from the very start. From the very first moment, when our mother died, he was a victim of all of the horrible decisions I've made. You haven't been up close to him, Roy. He is skin and bones, his organs are shutting down, and he's in so much pain. The least I can do is give my life for his."

Roy still looked unsure, and Ed sighed. "Look, if you don't do this, you're losing both of us, forever. Do you really want that?" Ed spat in anger, his cloudy eyes fighting to stay open. His hand was slowly slipping down Envy's leg, coming to a rest at the monster's foot, who at that point was breathing out of his teeth like a hissing snake. "I saved your dumb ass anyway. You _owe_ me, equivalent exchange."

Roy felt his heart breaking. He dropped to both knees and sank down until his legs were underneath him, military boots digging into his ass, but he didn't care. He pulled his gloves off and tossed them to the side, reaching a tentative hand out and touching the adolescent's cheek. Ed nuzzled closer, skin clammy, eyes closing as the colonel inched ever so closer.

"I'm getting cold," Ed said. The colonel cradled Ed's head, lifting that familiar face to look at his own. He wondered what Ed saw. A jerk, an arrogant bastard, a useless colonel, a killer, a lover? Because he saw the boy he'd raised, the teenager he'd fought with, the man he'd fallen for. He gently placed his lips to Ed's forehead, and the young alchemist closed his eyes.

"For you and your brother," Roy whispered, his chest filling with words he wanted to say but couldn't.

"Thank you," Ed murmured. Roy sank in and pressed their lips together, and Ed fiercely kissed him back. They were both bloody and gritty and smelled of smoke, their clothes torn and bodies broken. And it didn't matter, it never would have. The heat they had felt the first time was still there, a little spark that would always light a fire between them if given a chance. Roy could feel Ed shaking as he pulled away, and realized he was shaking, too.

"You owe me, Edward Elric," Roy whispered, his voice hoarse. Ed gave him a smirk, golden eyes fiery with the boy's trademark spirit. He lowered his head and closed his eyes, his chest rising and falling in one last painful sigh.

The colonel touched the teen's blonde bangs, running them through his middle and index finger before harshly pulling away. His breathing began to quicken and the back of his throat gummed up, leaving him fighting for control as he backed away to the edge of the circle.

This was it. This was the end. He looked at Ed, his young body so mangled and his old soul so selfless, bloody matted braid hanging over his shoulder and beat to hell automail glinting in the dim lights. Roy knew that in the entire world, this boy was the bravest man of them all. His dark eyes climbed upward to Envy's face, which was dirty but held no wounds. Roy wondered how old he was, how many times he had cheated death, how many innocent people he had tortured over the years.

"I think you'll enjoy going to back what you were to start with," the colonel said, just loud enough to gain Envy's attention. The monster's pupils were nothing but slits, amethyst irises void of everything but anger. "Nothing."

The vision in Roy's left eye turned red as the gun Envy managed to pitch in his direction swung right into his face. Roy didn't have time to think or detach himself from the situation. He screamed in pain and surprise and slammed his hands down onto the array. It sprang to life, a being of its own, and aura of calmness flowing through his body before the power took hold. The light pulsed from the circle, sending a wave of power up his knees and through his chest.

Alphonse lay motionless near the circle's edge, his frail body barely containing the energy to take each struggled breath. Ed had slumped forward, and while his eyes were cloudy and listless, both hands were spread wide over the lines of the array. The colonel wondered what it felt like to be used in an alchemical reaction; did it hurt, or was it a sort of numbness?

All three of the beings in the circle began to take on a glow, a soft white light that stole the energy from the chamber's lamps. The sacrificial target points Ed had drawn on both his and Envy's bodies had slowly turned from muddy red to a sharp and bright white, fixing the both of them to the array. Four points that surround Edward and Envy, points with symbols the colonel had never seen before, failed to glow as the rest of the array, but Roy didn't pay it any attention. The blonde took a deep breath and the colonel felt a pulse run through his body, raw and rushed power that could only be Ed. The teen looked up to him and nodded.

It was time to let go.

But when Roy tried to move his hands, to stand and run, he felt himself glued to the spot. A prisoner in the power of the alchemic reaction. He could feel Edward battling for control over the transmutation, but he was far too weak to gain it. The array had been activated by Roy, and it wanted Roy to be the one to finish it. The colonel panicked. He had no idea how to control this type of alchemy and the array it spilled from. He had dabbled in the taboo art of human transmutation, but never had he carried out, or even heard of, a double sacrifice. Icy cold realization flooded through him as Roy realized what he was doing.

"Ed! ED!" He shouted, leaning his full weight back against his hands, but it was futile. They weren't going anywhere. The blonde's eyes flickered just as the array began to go from a soft blue to a darker color, slowly growing more out of control as it did so. Roy gritted his teeth and bore down into the array, not knowing where he was going to go with it but knowing he couldn't let the thing turn into an explosion that would swallow them all.

Ed's chest heaved and he pushed himself to his hand and knees, fighting with Roy every single moment. He began to crawl over, his face as white as a sheet and body glowing in a blue aura. He puts his hands on top of the colonel's and leaned their foreheads together. Neither could hear a thing over the roar of power, but Roy could make out the three words the golden alchemist mouthed to him.

'I love you.'

And Roy felt a sure and steady warmth guide him along, and soon he wondered if it was really his instincts kicking in to tell him what to do or if it was something more than that. The array screeched fought him, and he could feel some parts of his mind dragging intensity forward and others pushing it away. Suddenly his mind grabbed hold of something slippery and cold, stretching it like rubber, fighting to completely own it. The colonel had no idea what it was, all he knew was that he needed it and it was being stubborn as all hell. With newly found strength Roy pushed into the array, sweat running down his cheek as Ed observed him with one eyed grin.

Envy howled in anger. "YOU CAN'T USE ME AS A POWER SOURCE YOU LITTLE GNAT! I WILL BURY YOU! YOU CAN'T STOP ME! YOU CAN'T _BEAT_ ME!" He shrieked, fighting against something that was pulling him down into the array. He screeched like something trapped, weak fists pounding the ground like a temperamental child.

In that moment Roy understood was the blonde was doing. Edward was stealing the life force from the homunculus to feed the array's power, and he was using Roy to do it.

First came the loss of sound. Roy cracked an eye open and could see Ed frantically speaking to him, amber eyes wide. Envy was behind him, convulsing like a spider that had just been stepped on and not fully killed. And last of all was Alphonse, spread eagle on his back, glued to the ground and glowing. Ed pushed himself into Roy's view, desperately looking into Roy's eyes, then down, then Roy's eyes, then down again, and so Roy looked down.

He was glowing too.

Everything seemed to more or less creep to a stop. Their surroundings turned black, nothing visible but the array and their radiant bodies. They were being raised up, higher and higher, though the Flame still felt as if they were on solid ground. And suddenly the roar of alchemy was gone; the power drag through his body vanished, and as Roy peeked his good eye open, the floor had gone, too. In its place was a plain white surface and not a floor at all. Just a temporary place to keep the group of them; a sort of display to hold them for studying and observation. He took a deep breath, noting the air was void of any scent, blood or otherwise. He raised his head in confusion.

"Where the hell are we?" He slurred, dazed by the sudden withdrawal of alchemy from his hands. He was surprised but pleased to find he could hear again.

"We're at the Gate," Ed whispered. "I'm so sorry Roy, I didn't think you'd be brought here." The older man raised his head higher, barely getting a glimpse of a large slab of stone. A blinding white light flashed before Roy's eyes, but Edward blocked his view, his previously lax body tense with fear.

"DON'T LOOK AT IT!" Ed screamed. "DON'T LOOK AT IT!"

Roy could hear a monstrous cry, purely animal in nature, the sound of a being that knew it was going to die. He could only hope it was Envy, as Edward's forehead was still pressed to his own, and he wasn't about to go against the blonde's word and look around for Al. He could feel that they were helpless in this place, it was them against a million and the odds were nearly zero. Ed was shaking uncontrollably, very much the frightened little boy he had been the first time he'd been in this place.

"You have to tell it exactly what you want," Ed whispered, and Roy felt a single droplet hit his hand. It was too light to be blood, too slippery as it slid down his hand.

Edward was ripped away from him so suddenly that the colonel would have fallen over if he wasn't still glued in place. A cry of emotional agony ripped from Roy's throat and he bowed even lower. Ed shrieked in pain or panic, the colonel couldn't tell which. All he knew was he could feel Edward's presence leaving him, and it was terrifying. He had to fight off the urge to scream out, to return Edward's silent 'I love you', but he knew it was too late. Saying it now, in front of what he believed to be the Gate, could ruin it all. The Gate would try to give Edward back for a price.

Roy knew what the right decision was. And so he poured all of his heart and soul into what he wanted, not leaving a single detail out for interpretation. He told the Gate of all they'd been through, what had been found and what had been lost along the way, what they were there to do. And he could feel it take the information, rolling it around just right in front of him, counting and tasting and stacking and fishing through his memories and wishes and dreams. He didn't dare watch it at work, he knew better than that. All he wanted was for it to understand, to ignore his terror and feel his bravery and to let him somehow escape this place.

Everything stopped spinning, and he could feel his mind go cool and soft._ 'I see,'_ a big, but quiet, voice echoed throughout the space. Roy sensed the large presence before him slowly backing away while a new presence, smaller and less intimidating, appeared at his side. The colonel knew better than to see who it was. It was not yet the time or his right to do so.

It felt as if he was being dropped, but with a rush of cool air Roy gently made contact with a solid surface. It set him down like a puppet on strings, putting him on his knees then lowering him into a sitting position. He opened his eyes, realizing his mistake when his left one loudly protested. His gasped and placed a hand over it, grinding his teeth together. Closing his other eye, the colonel made quick work of tearing the hem of his jacket off and tying it around his head and over his eye. It was crude, but would serve its purpose.

A sound to his left caught the colonel's attention, and that's when he realized the boy had been lying beside him the entire time. He had curled into a ball and was shivering, teeth chattering. Roy marveled at the change in the teenager. His cheeks were no longer hollow, and the wounds that had previously covered his body were gone. His breathing, despite being quick due to the chill in the air, was deep and strong.

Roy wrapped him up in his jacket, shivering as the cold air bit into his skin and unnecessarily cooled the sweat on his body. He was so cold, he was so cold and tired and heartbroken that all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die along with this place. It took every ounce of his physical strength to lift the boy from the ground. And it took every fiber of courage in his soul to stumble away and not look back.


	21. Chapter 21: Come Again?

**A/N: **Did you all really think I would end the story in such a shitty manner? Not to be hating on stories that do have such sudden endings. They are justified by the author to be that way, but that type of ending just isn't for this story. I have tentatively planned four more chapters, I do plan on two of them coming out in a pair, but we will see. Sorry this chapter isn't going to be incredibly entertaining. You'll just have to bear with me. Better than six month updates yes? Winky wink.

**Special thanks to:** Hawk Cold Eyes, Conrii, Mama Muse, Cuzosu, DunTouchIt, cynder81, PutThatAway, Lady Rin Kayamata, DanielDeathnote, Psycho Anime, No Face Monster, Anne Fatalism Dilettante, xThereIsNoSpoonx, iheartanime07, yui eiri, TehDonutSecks, xXKuroTsukiHimeXx, little kinky miss feng, RomiofAmestria, yuukivampirefan. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. :D

* * *

**Chapter 21:** Come Again?

**Central Times**

BREAKING NEWS

A bright light and a shockwave woke up the sleepy city of Central in the wee hours of the morning. A persistent blue light shone from a yellow bricked house off of 32nd street. It was quickly identified by the nearby residents as a violent alchemic reaction, and the surrounding neighborhoods were evacuated as quickly as possible.

In a short interview with one of the alchemist called to duty, it was disclosed that Colonel Roy Mustang, also known as the Flame Alchemist, emerged from an almost hidden staircase in the basement of the house. He was carrying another person, a young man. However this person was wrapped up in the Amestrian issued military jacket and was unable to be identified. As soon as Colonel Mustang and John Doe exited the staircase, it collapsed.

Although it has not been confirmed, it seems that this staircase lead to some sort of underground cavern in which Colonel Mustang and the John Doe were located during the reaction that took place. Being that the two are possibly both alchemists, it can be assumed that some sort of alchemical array was activated. The reasons behind Colonel Mustang's and John Doe's location have not been determined. It is currently unknown as to whether there was anyone else involved.

Colonel Roy Mustang has sustained many injuries, but none are known to be life threatening. He is reported to be in Central Hospital's intensive care unit, but is stable.

The John Doe has not yet been publically identified. He is believed to be Edward Elric, who was in the care of Colonel Mustang at the time. He is also in Central Hospital's intensive care unit, but his condition is unknown.

* * *

All he could feel was pain. Burning, ripping through his core and prickling like daggers to his finger tips. He groaned and threw his head back, teeth clenched as he clawed at the sheets he was lying under. His groan turned into a roar, hitching in his throat as the fire flew up his neck and to his eye. His head was pounding, a drum that couldn't keep a beat, and it was almost impossible to hear anything over it.

A woman shouted and hands tried to hold him down. He panicked and drew a sharp breath at the torment that flew through his chest when he tried to struggle. Something pricked the inside of his elbow and he flinched. In only a few seconds his body began to buzz, black nails clawing at the very back of his mind, dragging him under. He whimpered like an animal that was at death's door, his heart slowing and limbs growing heavy.

"Colonel!" A voice shouted, a cold hand on his, but he didn't have the strength to acknowledge them.

He gave in and submerged into the darkness.

* * *

Had he been hit by a truck?

No, he couldn't have been. For one his last memory would have been trying to cross the street, which he hadn't done in days. Second, getting hit by a truck would have sucked so much less than this.

His entire body was pounding as if it were possessed by the mother of all migraines. And his head, dear god his head, was it going to explode? Shouldn't they have put a stint in his skull or something, because really, as far as he knew Scar was dead and he didn't want anyone to panic when they found his brains splattered on the wall. The last to be felt were the tiny pelts of fire dotting the front of his body, and a scathing line of agony down his tender side. He sucked in tiny, controlled breaths, willing himself to open his eyes.

His vision was fuzzy and wavering, the world tilting dangerously to the side as he furiously blinked. Everything slowly began to focus, but it all still looked over exposed. Blonde hair and a blue uniform had its hands on the bed rail, leaning into his line of sight. "First Lieutenant," he mumbled, blinking slowly.

"Hello Colonel," she said, and despite the fact that she was stone faced he could hear a touch of warmth in her voice. He could feel she was happy to see him.

"Is he awake?" Roy heard from his right, and Havoc appeared at his bedside, looking as if he wanted to throw his arms around the colonel. He was so jittery that his grip on the rail was threatening to shake the entire bed. So much for formalities when one is down for the count.

"How long have I been out?" Roy groaned, moving his arm to massage his forehead, but it caught fast in a strap, rough cotton scratching his wrist. He blinked and squinted and blinked some more, trying to figure out the cuff and what he had done to deserve such nonsense. It was then that he realized he was tied down by bed restraints.

"Nearly thirty-six hours," Hawkeye answered, gently reaching out to lower his arm. Her face was tense, as if she were waiting for something awful to happen. "They had to tie you down, Sir. You were very confused the first time you woke up."

"You were a mess, Chief," said Havoc, who had clasped his hands behind his back and was leaning to the side. He wasn't looking too good himself, trembling and pale and tired. "They showed us your uniform for identification. When we saw the amount blood all over it we were sure you were a goner. I thought Fuery was going to melt into the floor."

"How badly am I hurt?" Roy slurred, painfully aware of how heavy his face and body felt. They must have drugged him with enough sedatives to put an elephant to sleep. Roy felt like a dead weight nestled on a bed of feathers, his bones sinking to the bottom of his skin. He could feel a restrictive bandage wrapped around his head, probably from being kicked and thrown about like a rag doll.

"They stitched up all of your lacerations and you have three broken ribs," Riza said, and oh she did _not_ need to point at his ribs, he knew they were there and how they felt thank you very much. "The doctors placed them as best as they could. You'll have metal plates in them for life."

He felt slightly nauseated at the information she gave him. "Don't they just let broken ribs heal?"Roy muttered, experimentally tightening his abs and feeling the tell tale tug of sewn together skin. No wonder his side was on fire, they'd fucking cut him open. And she had given them permission, hadn't she? His first lieutenant was even more traitorous than he thought.

"They were floating, Sir. There was no way to safely externally stabilize them."

He reached a finger out to touch her hand, but was surprised when he couldn't feel her. He was touching her, wasn't he? He moved to touch the bed rail and couldn't feel it until he moved his hand further than he should have needed to. He rolled his head to the side, looking over at Havoc and feeling a touch of panic rise in his chest when Hawkeye disappeared from his field of view. "I can't see left," he said, trying to sound as calm as possible.

The colonel could hear Hawkeye hesitate, and Havoc looked away, a touch of bitterness to his otherwise excited expression. "Your eye was pretty bad. The doctors have done all they can do. We'll just have to wait and see," she said softly, trying to ease him into his injuries with some hope.

But he was an intelligent man, and he knew the 'wait and see' protocol was just for show. His depth perception that came with having both eyes was gone.

Heart in his stomach, the colonel looked up to her with what he knew must have been the most pathetically hopefully expression anyone had ever seen. "And Ed...?"

Havoc snapped his mouth shut with a nervous click, and Hawkeye hesitated. "His body is unable to be searched for, Sir."

Roy's heart sank to his feet. His memories hadn't been some nasty concocted dream after all. He had blown up the stairwell on the way out, making it completely impassable. He had made it so Ed couldn't be searched for. He had done this.

The first lieutenant quickly changed the subject. She seemed hell bent on turning this shitty situation around and looking at the bright side. "Alphonse woke up yesterday. He seems mostly traumatized. The Rockbells were released from state custody and have been staying with him."

"Does he remember?" Roy asked, his good eye feeling heavy.

"We're not sure, Colonel. He won't talk about it," Riza said softly, pulling the white sheets back up Roy's chest. Havoc walked briskly around the bed and into the hall, probably to get a nurse.

"When can I see him?" He whispered. His eye lid was dropping lower and lower, and his shallow breathing grew deeper.

"Rest for now, Colonel. Just rest," the first lieutenant said quietly, laying her hand on his. Slender cold fingers. She had been there the whole time.

* * *

He woke up late the next morning, a very displeased looking Hawkeye standing over him. The good side of his face was smushed into the pillow so it was hard to see her, but she knew where to stand to get his undivided attention.

"You shouldn't lie like that," she said with a frown, arms crossed. "You're still hurt."

He groaned and closed his eye, wanting nothing more than to be allowed to go back to sleep until the pain had left him. But the sadist doctors only saved the medicinal comas for burn victims. He knew, he'd sent quite a few people into the situation himself and couldn't help but feel that karma was paying him an overdue visit. "I'm hurt all over, Hawkeye. I don't think my sleeping position will matter."

She cupped her chin with her thumb and index finger, studying him sharply. "Despite your assumption, I do advise you don't lie on your surgical incision," she said curtly, and he blinked in realization.

Now then, she did have somewhat of a point.

He propped himself up on his arm, grinding his teeth at the sharp pain that swept up his side. He rolled very gracefully onto his back, arms spread out though he was pleased to find they had been removed from the straps. He lay there for a moment to gather his bearings and to allow the incision to calm down.

He heaved a great sigh and opened his eye. "Am I allowed to sit up?" He asked, and a small smile twitched at the corners of the first lieutenant's mouth.

She helped him sit up, gently taking hold of his right elbow as she raised the head of the bed. He pushed himself up with his other arm, scooting back until he was lying comfortably against the raised mattress at his back. His head was spinning, temples hammering needles through his veins and he felt slightly ill.

"The first time is always the worst," Hawkeye soothed, placing a cold cloth on his forehead.

"What have they been saying about me?" He asked, following her with his eye until she was out of sight. He didn't bother turning his head, as it was feeling rather heavy and if it tilted a bit too far to the side it would fall to the floor and drag the rest of him with it.

"That you're looking great. No fever, no complications, no infection. When your ribs were broken it did a lot of bruising to your internal organs, but there was no damage," she said, clearing off a little table of wheels before placing a tray with a covered plate and cup on it. "You don't remember waking up for the doctor last night, do you?" She asked, wheeling it to his beside and swinging the table over his lap. He pulled it just a bit closer to his chest before fiddling with the silverware, unwrapping it to find that the incision in his side flared with misgiving when he used his right hand. Lefty it was.

"No," he answered, removing the plate lid to find scrambled eggs and toast, complimented by a cup of orange juice. "I don't suppose coffee is an option?"

"No caffeine," she said automatically, as if expecting his question. Riza took a seat in a chair to his right as he sighed and picked up the fork.

"Well that just takes the all the fun out of it."

"If you would just try decaff, Sir, it really isn't so bad."

"No, thank you."

He didn't much feel like eating, or sitting up, or making conversation. He really didn't feel like doing anything. He wanted the lights to be turned off, the curtains to be drawn, and for everyone to just leave him alone. He wanted to beg and grovel for forgiveness, to wallow in his misery in a big plastic box and weep until it filled to the top and drowned him.

But he ate in silence, his hollow stomach both grumbling in thanks and flipping with empty anxiety. It was middle school all over again, sitting alone at a table with food he didn't want and people looking at him with pity, feeling as if a part of his world had been ripped away from him. He was hungry but he wasn't, he was sick and yet he wasn't. He wasn't anything but broken and no one could ever know.

"Everyone is asking questions," Hawkeye said quietly, folding her hands in her lap. "I've been diverting them by account of lack of knowledge."

Ah, it figures she would first make him feel safe and nurse him and feed him and then bring up the danger of the situation he had found himself in. "How much time do I have?" Roy sighed, placing the toast back onto the tray.

"As soon as they hear that you and Alphonse are conscious and stable enough to make sense."

"Loopholes?" He pressed, abandoning the food in favor of the first lieutenant. She tapped her chin thoughtfully, gazing over the bed with her intense copper gaze. She at least had something that was enough to think about, and that was a good sign.

"We're going to play up on the 'indefinite leave' article. It states that if a soldier has been through a very traumatic and physically damaging event, he is to be given up to eight weeks to provide information and participate in questioning." She paused, folding her hands as a cloud passed over the sky and blocked the sunlight that previously spilled into the room. He breathed a sigh of relief, closing his eye and leaning back into the mattress. "We have Anderson working on it right now," she finished.

Roy flinched, feeling a rawness tear at his heart at the investigator's name. He would never be able to look at the Drachman the same, ever again.

* * *

He drifted in and out of a hazy consciousness. Whenever he woke there was a thermometer being shoved into his mouth and a blood pressure cuff tightened around his arm. When Hawkeye wasn't there Havoc was, and they kept him company enough when he was awake and slept when he was sleeping. But no amount of prodding and poking could get either one of them (or the nurses) to spill any information on the only person he cared to see.

By the middle of the next day, the colonel was feeling slightly frustrated.

"I want to see Alphonse. Now," he demanded, and Hawkeye and Havoc shared a quick glance.

His eye narrowed. "What?"

"He's not really himself, Colonel," Hawkeye vaguely supplied, as if she thought it would hold him off.

"I don't give a damn. Please have them bring him here."

Havoc's jaw was working as if he had something to say, but in the end came up silent, blue eyes downcast. Hawkeye looked back and forth between the two men, one defeated and the other angrily determined, and sighed. "I'll go make a phone call."

She returned a few minutes later, face tight. "Winry is going to be bringing him over from the general care ward later this evening."

The colonel finally relaxed, sinking into the mattress behind his back. "Thank you, First Lieutenant."

Riza and Jean had themselves a seat on the hospital green sofa, each taking an end, crossing their legs, and looking at the colonel. His expression fell flat and he snorted. "Dare I even ask?" He challenged, and the two blonde lieutenants seemed to grow a bit stiff. Hawkeye's eyes fell to half mast and she looked at the shiny tile floor.

"I just want you to be aware, Sir, he has spoken yet. Not once."

"He's just kind of...just there," Havoc murmured, blue eyes lost in thought.

"The doctors aren't sure if his muteness is selective or due to trauma. He did show some behavioral signs of consistent drug abuse, but his body doesn't reflect the symptoms."

It was clear to Roy that while a body was easy to heal, the mind and soul were each on a completely different level and Ed had done all he could possibly do to fix his little brother. Roy gave the two lieutenants a small smile. "After all of this, I could do with some silence."

* * *

Fuery and Breda had visited him around dinner time, juxtaposing each other in the most tiring way possible. Breda treated his superior as if absolutely nothing, nothing at all had happened while Fuery dissolved into a gibbering puddle of nerves at seeing his hero in such shape. The doctor had come in right when it looked like Fuery was going to attach himself to Roy's ankle in a vow to never let him out of sight again, shooing away the colonel's team and saving them all from a potentially awkward situation. Dr. Terrell had checked the incision and various lacerations, asking questions that Roy pretended to not know while still making enough sense to not have himself thrown under the x ray machine or into the psych ward.

It was around eight o clock that evening when the hubub of the daily hospital activities finally died down. Roy was sitting up in bed resting, the lights in his room dimmed to a dull brown glow. Hawkeye was sitting at his bedside quietly reading by the light from the hall, while Havoc was curled up on the couch under the window. The curtains were still open and he had a lovely second floor view of the city being covered in another blanket of snow. He almost didn't mind being here in times like these. It kind of reminded him of home.

He was just beginning to drift off when a voice that he recognized drifted down the hall and piqued his interest. A blonde head poked through the doorway, and bright blue eyes focused on Roy. "Mr. Mustang?" Winry called, and Roy had to crane his head around to see her. She seemed slightly startled by his appearance, but it wasn't enough to make her say anything. "Are you ready?"

He nodded slowly, and Winry backed out into the hall. The colonel sat up straighter, and Hawkeye placed her bookmark and walked around the bed to shake the second lieutenant awake. Roy heard Winry speaking quietly, soft and gentle and urging to someone who didn't respond. To his right Havoc was slowly shaking off his sleep, methodically sitting up and following Hawkeye to stand quietly by the door.

Roy was surprised when Al walked in on his own, Winry perched at the doorway behind him. He looked perfectly healthy, not a scratch on him, no bones visible through his skin. He was dressed in regular clothes, a blue t-shirt and brown pants. His hair was shaggy from the months it had been left to grow, but it was neatly combed and brushed the collar of his shirt. His silvery eyes were so full of anguish and heartache that Roy felt compelled to look away, yet he wouldn't allow himself to.

Winry gave Al a bit of a nudge and the teenager took a few more hesitant steps into the room, looking up from the floor and to the colonel. Something sparked in those cloudy eyes, something that made Al's eyebrows twitch and his eyes widen just a bit. The colonel felt so helpless, confined to this bed, wanting nothing more than to be able to approach the young Elric himself. Roy wondered what he looked like to a boy whose brother he had stolen away from him in more ways than one.

The assembly of critics was quietly observing from the doorway, each expression grim from their own opinion of the situation. Winry looked especially discouraged, her face downcast and lips pressed into a thin line. She looked exhausted. She probably hadn't left Al once since the state released her from protective custody.

And before knew he what he was doing, Roy opened his arms. He pushed them forward just enough to beckon a somewhat surprised looking Alphonse toward him. When the younger Elric balked and looked uncertain, Roy tightened his jaw, hurt creeping into his heart. It must have shown on his face, because Al's eyes filled with tears and he lowered his head before closing the distance between them and stepping into the offered embrace. He leaned down and pressed his face into the older man's shoulder and took in a shuddering breath that chilled Roy to the bone.

"I'm so sorry, Alphonse," the older man whispered, tightening his hold when the boy began to shake. Their hearts were racing, off rhythm but still together.

"It's okay, Colonel," he sniffed, voice laced with tears. Roy looked up to see shock on the faces of the blonde trio near the doorway. Al turned his face to the side and pressed his cheek against the colonel's arm, closing his eyes. "You didn't stand a chance."

* * *

By week two, they released Roy from the hospital. Or more so, Roy released himself when he realized there was nothing holding him back from doing so. He had to make a deal with the doctor that he would stay on bed rest for at least another two weeks, but it was a small price to pay to be out of that place. The nurses were sweet to him and the food wasn't half bad, but all he could think about was a certain blonde alchemist and his younger brother who was just two wings away.

After a few days of lying underneath his comforter on the couch, radio murmuring in the background, Roy realized his home situation wasn't much better. While his injured body required a lot of sleep, he didn't have much of anything to fill the hours in which he was actually awake. Havoc and Hawkeye either cooked for him or ordered take out, so there was no point in grocery shopping. And as much as he hated having his chores done by someone else, Mrs. Kathy Miller from next door insisted on dusting his floors and doing his laundry. It left him with little to do physically and a lot to do mentally, and most of that was spent carrying himself further and further into some sort of depression.

Roy felt so completely and utterly and hopelessly used.

He had killed his lover. Helped to hand him over to something so merciless, then just walked away with his little brother in tow. He had just straightened his shoulders, and walked away. He tried to tell himself that Edward had convinced him to do it, had the colonel backed into such a tight corner that the blonde knew he would agree to do it. But that didn't make it any easier.

He had to remind himself of how horrid it would have been to watch both Edward and Alphonse slowly suffer and die of their various ailments, always to be remembered as the famous brothers who couldn't shake a kidnapper and a cold. Ed had never wanted to die a hero, and despite the fact that no one knew the truth but Roy and Al, the colonel felt slightly smug. Take that, Edward Elric, you manipulative brat. You saved two lives and got rid of a danger to the world itself that night.

When Mrs. Miller arrived early one morning to do her share of work, she found the colonel furiously folding his freshly washed clothes as if his life depended on it. She decided right then would be a good time to make herself at home on his sofa and strike up a conversation with him. She sure didn't beat around the bush, mostly because there was no bush in her eyes. She wanted to know what he was doing up at that hour, was he _really_ washing the placemats from the table and who were the blonde woman and man who visited him so much? Were they friends of his, because really, with the way they go at each other in the car, they would be making him a third wheel very soon. Roy was surprised by her bluntness, even more surprised about what she had seen, but he gained a friend of sorts in that moment.

Mrs. Miller even had him over for a day, delighting in his company as the flooring crew pulled up the hopelessly stained hardwood from his living room. They had tried to sand the red blotch out, but blood was stupendously damaging and it had completely soaked into the wood. He couldn't bear to see it happen, and the old woman wasn't a bad piece of conversation either. She could hold her own when Roy felt like being an opinionated ass and wasn't afraid to tell him he needed to stop moping about and get his life in order. She had seen Roy and Edward a few times going in and out of the home and had heard enough on the news to know what had happened. Though she had not a clue of the true dynamics of the alchemical pair's relationship, she "had a daughter and couldn't imagine losing a child she had raised". He found himself going back to her often, the tea was good and the words shared even better.

* * *

Since Alphonse was still a minor, and Pinako Rockbell refused to hear any nonsense about taking him before the doctors deemed it appropriate, he wasn't released until a week after Roy was. They labeled him as a classic psych case, experimenting a cocktail of drugs until the boy finally began to function as they saw a human being should. A psych evaluation provided by the state concluded that Al was clinically depressed and mentally scarred from the incident, and would be of little to no use to the investigation unless they wanted to worsen his condition. And so the teenager was released from the hospital with Fuhrer Hakuro unable to dig his claws into him.

Roy saw the trio off at the train station. Al stepped forward to hesitantly give him a hug, which Roy returned. Saying good bye to the young Elric hurt in a new sort of way, like giving a child up for adoption; going through hell and back to have him, just to give him away. He told the small family how they were always welcome, whether through a phone call or a room to sleep in.

As the train chugged away and out of sight, Roy stuck his hands in his pockets. He felt something there, and pulled out an orange prescription bottle with the name Alphonse Elric printed on the label. He sighed. The classic Elric bluff. He shouldn't have expected anything less.

* * *

He was already back in the office by the fourth week. Technically he should have still been on bed rest, but he knew sitting at home wouldn't do him any good, looking at all of the little possessions Edward had left behind, and all of the memories that went with them, feeling the boy's ghost behind the locked door of what should have been his bedroom. The colonel wouldn't be able to have a lick of concentration in that house. And what the brass didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

The days had already started to become just a tad bit longer. It was February now, and as he finished up the final report he had to sign off on, it was six and the sun was just starting to set, filling his office with pinks and golds. The dying fire crackled and murmured, adding to the autumn palate in his office.

There was a firm knock on his door as his signature flew across the final report of the day, and he knew who it was.

"Come in First Lieutenant," he called, neatly stacking all the papers he had finished. It was perfect timing really, now he didn't have to take the reports to her or get his lazy ass up just yet. She had taken to staying late and giving him a ride home in the evenings, and she would have shot him if he refused so it was just best to go along with it.

The blonde headed woman entered with a salute, a large but thin envelope tucked underneath her left arm.

"At ease, Hawkeye," he said, waving her hand down. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"Sir, this package arrived in the mail for you," she informed him, handing the cardboard unit over. He took it delicately, turning it right side up to study while he nodded his gratitude.

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

She was just turning to leave when the colonel stopped her. "Stay," he ordered quietly. Her hand dropped from the door knob and she turned to face him questioningly. He looked up from the package label and beckoned for her to approach his desk. "It is from Doctor Gray."

The package was of medium size and rectangular, reading "CONFIDENTIAL" and "DO NOT BEND" in huge letters. The colonel rummaged in his desk drawer for a moment, coming up with a pocket knife and flicking it open. He very carefully cut one side of the thick envelope open, not wanting to damage the contents inside. The blade tore through the sheath of tape with little resistance.

Roy flicked the pocket knife closed and cast it aside, his heart beating a little fast as he pulled the over sized negatives from the package. They were thin and felt like plastic, and when Roy held them up to the light he discovered a picture of the human brain on each one.

"Edward's x-rays?" Hawkeye questioned.

Roy checked the little box in the upper right corner that typically listed the date, time, and patient's name. "Yes."

He carefully handed them over to the first lieutenant, who held them up to the light for a look see herself. A folded piece of paper was sticking halfway out of the envelope, and so Roy pulled it out and unfolded it.

"He wrote a letter."

"Dear Mr. Mustang. I'm sorry I could not get these x-rays to you sooner. We were going to call you in for a look see and questioning, but those plans were cancelled when Edward disappeared. If you have already looked at the x-rays, you may have noticed that dark area in his brain. Due to Edward's illness, especially with his very first attack, his brain was deprived of oxygen. Because there was minor widespread damage, we could not tell where he would particularly be affected. This x-ray confirmed that, while most of his brain healed quite quickly, that area did not. It is responsible most for memory."

"_I had to go while I knew what I was doing. I couldn't wait for it to disappear again."_

Roy felt a jolt of cold realization run through his body.

"Oh bloody hell," he whispered. The pain of understanding stemmed from his heart and began to spread to the rest of his body, choking him when he tried to breathe. How could he not have seen it? All of the signs had been there, right before his eyes. But no. He would have rather believed Edward was being a brat than admit the teenager was any more damaged than he already appeared to be.

"We recall that you mentioned Mr. Elric seemed to be having some difficulty recalling recent memories, and before he disappeared his nurses reported him going on about something he suddenly remembered. This diagnosis makes perfect sense when you take into account the vitamin E and C drip we hooked him up to intravenously, as his blood work showed vitamin deficiency. Vitamin C and E are known to jump start memory."

The colonel had to stop and swallow, silently reading the few remaining sentences before allowed themselves to say them aloud. "We send our condolences to you, your team, and his family. We hope this may provide some closure. Sincerely, Dr. Gray." Roy's voice shook as he read the last of the letter.

"He couldn't remember." The colonel looked up to the gun slinging woman, his dark eyes wide. "Hawkeye. Edward couldn't remember, he could hardly remember a thing about getting Alphonse's body back."

He held his hand out, and Riza handed over the x-rays. He held them up again, and noted where the doctor had circled a dark park of Ed's brain, near the bottom of his skull. "He wasn't being stubborn, Hawkeye. All those times I yelled at him, was angry, it wasn't his fault. He was just scared."

"Another chapter in the tragic life of Edward Elric," the first lieutenant said quietly. Her eyes were narrow but the expression on her face held a sadness that Roy couldn't describe. He had been making the same face for weeks now and still had no name for it. "That poor kid."

He placed the x-rays down onto his desk, neatly lining up their corners, evening out the thin stack. He lowered his dark head, hair flopping over the eye patch that now adorned his face. He left his fingers where they lay, spread out across the edges of the incriminating pictures while his thumbs took a rough grip under the desk.

"Are you okay, Colonel?" Hawkeye asked. She stood still and reserved, and he didn't need to look up to see the slump in her shoulders. It came through in her voice.

"In the hospital," Roy said, quietly, hands tightening on the mahogany wood.

"Sir?" Hawkeye questioned, not hearing him.

He looked up to her, then back down to the brain scans, as if ashamed. "It was the last time he was in the hospital. I realized how I couldn't be without him." He gathered the photo negatives and tucked them safely back into the cardboard envelope, folding the doctor's letter and laying it on top.

"I saw him lying there in the ambulance, and I thought 'he is going to die'. Just like he'd been telling me all these weeks. And I felt this horrible pain, right here," he said, lying his hand over his heart.

"I loved him, Hawkeye. I still do."

"I know, Sir." She had tried to tell him. She had given him the chance to think about it, but he hadn't. He had pretended he hadn't had the time between then and transmuting the sunshine out of his life, and now it was back to bite him in the ass. Karma was being such an utter bitch to him lately.

"The worst part?" He said, his voice lifting at the end. Hawkeye looked at him, but he didn't look at her. "I think I did all along."

* * *

After particularly long days that seemed like the dark in his mind wouldn't give in, he wondered if Mrs. Miller should hang a side outside her door proclaiming her natural skills as a therapist. He even had gone so far as to tell her of the two people he'd become close so to that had lived in his house and passed, how he resented being there.

She would muse on and off about a townhouse her daughter was considering selling, but the thought of leaving scared him even more than it hurt to stay.

* * *

Jean and Riza had cooked dinner for him again. It was a Saturday night, and while at first he insisted they should be out enjoying their weekend, he was quickly beaten down and resolved to watching the pair work. He could see past their little facade, knowing that if they were open enough about it they would have answered 'would have been cooking dinner together anyway, Sir', but he decided to let it go. After all, he wasn't one to lecture on inner team relationships. What a hypocrite he would be.

As soon as they were done and Havoc came up with some excuse to leave, Roy wondered if his assumption had been right. Riza brought mugs of tea into the great room and had a seat across from him, and the man's skin prickled. It was so unfair to corner him like this, especially when he couldn't run and she knew it.

While he sipped his tea and looked at the clock, she fiddled almost nervously with her cup. He knew it was coming, and so he just waited patiently.

"Sir?" Hawkeye said quietly.

"Yes?"He answered, setting his halfway nursed mug onto the table.

She hesitated again, eyes searching his as if the answer lay deep within them. He had rarely seen it but knew she was doubtful at times, though never had she ever appeared so insecure. She didn't want to ask and he wasn't going to offer, so he bided his time with another sip of tea. "What happened down there?" She murmured, brows tilting down as her jaw tightened.

He took a deep breath, chewing on the inside of his cheek. She was looking at him again, suspicion turning to dejection and he let the held breath out in a dark chuckle. "I'm damned if I tell you, and I'm damned if I don't."

He so desperately didn't want to talk about it. Just thinking about it was enough to send a sharp shock of cold down his spine and to make his already fluttering heart crumble to dust at his feet. He could smell the mustiness of the yellow bricked house, feel the chill of the dark stairwell and hear the dark monster flying through the air while Ed screamed and screamed and screamed at him and them and being ripped away, all to save the brother he loved. Roy emerged shaking and gasping for air, he sobbed out and tangled his fingers in his hair and thank goodness he at least wasn't crying because his dignity was taking enough of a beating already.

"Ed, he...he made me help him sacrifice himself to save Alphonse," he disclosed, words nothing but air between his teeth.

Riza sat there for a long moment, staring at him. As if she weren't sure he was serious. The colonel swallowed painfully, splaying his hands out before him.

"He was so far gone, Hawkeye. Sick and bleeding and he was starting to get cold-" His voice broke and he again dug his hands into his hair. "It wasn't meant to be that way. I tried to leave and the array held fast."

"He put his hands on mine and helped me to help him do it. He used me to drain every iota of energy from the homunculus, and then from himself."

The first lieutenant's eyes widened at the word homunculus, but Roy didn't stop to fill her in.

"And then he was just gone."

The fire snipped and snapped quietly behind him, the only thing indifferent enough to the situation to have anything to say.

"I killed him," Roy whispered as he slumped back into the couch. What a low life he was, not even able to sleep alone in the bed he'd made.

Hawkeye quickly recovered from her surprise, and her eyes narrowed. "Colonel Mustang," she snapped, venom lacing her voice. "Do not go there, ever. Do you understand?"

"What would you call it then?" He asked dully.

"Love," she said simply. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees and chin in her hand. "If you love something, you let it go."

"I didn't just let him go, Hawkeye. I let him _die_," Roy hissed, glaring at her as if she had just compared his existence to that of an earthworm. "I not only let him die but I facilitated it and you _can't_ call that love!" He shouted, landing the side of his fist on the coffee table and knocking over the remainder of his tea.

"You let him do what he needed to do, Colonel. You let him save the life of his brother, who was his life. And so Edward will always be a part of Alphonse, and vice versa," she said, gingerly righting the mug and setting the newspaper from yesterday over the puddle of liquid. "Would you rather have saved Edward, and then had him loathe you for the rest of his life? To be painfully aware of how close he was to fulfilling his promise to Alphonse? Or for the both of them to die, alone and scared in sterile white rooms, and not with each other?" She flipped and folded the paper before pressing it back to the spilled tea.

"Perhaps I'm selfish, but if it had been up to me I would have taken the both of them and gotten the hell out of there," Roy admitted, lips pressed together in a pensive smile. "Ed was my only voice of reason."

The lieutenant sat back, gaze softly resolute. "Edward may be gone, but Al is still here."

"If the Rockbells even let me lay eyes on him again, I don't know if I could," Roy murmured, good eye looking up to the only voice of reason he had left.

"The Major gave you a gift," Hawkeye said quietly, tilting her head to the side. "Sometimes we aren't necessarily given what we want, Sir. But what we need most."

It was then that the colonel realized she was looking slightly guilty, as if she had broken some kind of promise. Or as if she hadn't told the whole truth.

He sighed and touched his fingers to the eye patch. The spot tended to ache when something was amiss. "What is it?"

Hawkeye hesitated. "The Rockbells seem to be in no place to take care of Alphonse right now. All of these weeks that they have been in hiding the business has kept building up. They don't have the time to give Alphonse all that he needs."

The phrase was so familiar, only a few months old on his tongue. They flew from his mouth and tore at his heart, but once again, he didn't hesitate.

"I'll take him."


	22. Chapter 22: Death in Absentia

**A/N:** Sorry for the long delay, but school always comes before writing. The last month was a particularly hard section and since I'm already retaking the class I didn't want to have to "third time's a charm" it or anything. Oh, and the story is not complete until it is labeled as so! Some of you are fretting in reviews that I can't leave the story like this, and I promise I'm not! Pinky swear!

**Special thanks to:** Anne Fatalism Dilettante, yui eiri, ZemyxDexion, Whitika Obivion, Conrii, Kitsune-the-fox, Cartoon Cow, Hawk Cold Eyes, Mama Muse, No Face Monster, PutThatAway, DanielDeathnote, Psycho Anime, TehDonutSecks, xThereIsNoSpoonx, DivinexForgiveness, Arya K, xPandamoniumx, Darkhellia666, DunTouchIt Edo-kun's Angel, Tsuzikinyo, and MakeMiDay. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

* * *

**Chapter 22:** Death in Absentia

"It really is fine, Miss Rockbell."

"I just, I just don't want you or him and or anyone to think we don't care about him, you know? Sending him away like this after all this hell has happened but he's just so withdrawn and depressed and quiet, you see, there's nothing for him to do out here, Granny and I are so busy with the work and he just wastes away in bed, I figured at least with you he would be on some set schedule, there's loads to do in the city and he could even do some research with the libraries there and-"

"Miss Rockbell, it's _fine_. I promise."

"He really needs someone right now, Mr. Mustang."

"He's welcome here whenever he can make it."

"Thank you so much, Mr. Mustang."

He felt a sort of numbness when he got off the phone. He walked down the hall to the main floor guest room, pulled the sheets off, and proceeded to the laundry room.

* * *

Havoc retrieved Alphonse within a few days after the phone call. The colonel would have gone himself if he weren't preparing for the questioning that was to take place in only a few weeks' time. Anderson had referred him to Major Isaac Stinson, who not only held rank but was a rising star in the field of military law. Although Roy had stipulated having an attorney on his side would make him look guilty, his fears were dashed of any worries at their first meeting. Not only did Stinson owe Anderson a favor or two, it was also strictly protocol and they were going to need Roy's statement anyway for the hearing on the legal status of the Fullmetal Alchemist.

Al's move from Resembool to Central went without a hitch, and the colonel felt a great deal of tension in him ebb when the young man had settled into the main floor guestroom. Never mind it took heavy prompting and at times an hour or more to get him to come out, Roy was just glad to have him there. It was a constant reminder of how apprehensive he had felt when Edward was sitting on the couch in his office all those months ago, telling him that Al was safely in their hometown with family, his fears for Al's welfare confirmed no more than twenty minutes after. Knowing Al was under his roof this time around allowed Roy to breathe a sigh of relief. He had a feeling this housing situation was as much for his own good as it was for Al's, but he didn't feel the need to dwell on it.

Like Winry had said, Al was on little to no set schedule, and Roy assumed it had something to do with being kept in the dark for three months. Wherever he had been, the day and time had not been important, and he had probably gone through intense sensory deprivation. Alphonse had managed to convince the hospital staff he was too unstable to be questioned, and while most of it had been a bluff he _was_ mentally damaged to a certain extent. He was much like a newborn child, waking in the middle of the night to just hang around and shuffle through Roy's library. The colonel did his best to keep Al distracted during the day so he would stay awake, but at times the teenager was so exhausted he would almost fall asleep standing. Roy found the patience he had practiced when Edward had first taken sick returning, and he reminded himself that it would take time.

He would speak if spoken to, and if the Flame tried hard enough they could even hold a neutral conversation. Every now and then Alphonse would volunteer his voice, but he would always want to talk about Ed. At first the older man's chest clenched so tight it was hard to breathe, and he could see his own expression mirrored in Al's pained face. But as the stories and memories spilled forth from the alchemist pair, it became a little easier. They weren't always happy stories, like how the young Elric brothers had clung to each other at night to chase away nightmares of their mother's death, and how Edward had put his brother's welfare before his own on a mere hunch, even though it was going to kill him. The two laughed, and at times Alphonse cried while all Roy could do was look on sadly.

When Roy went to the office to work on legal matters with Major Stinson, Mrs. Miller was more than happy to keep Alphonse company. He came home one evening to find the two in a very competitive game of chess, and he was surprised Al knew how to play. The young alchemist didn't offer up any information, but with a smile Mrs. Miller explained that he'd had to find some way to pass time on the trains for all those years. And so Roy found the answer to getting Al back on schedule with society, and sometimes for several hours they found themselves competing for the victory. If Al ever looked like he was about to go to sleep in the early afternoon, Roy could break out the board and pieces and off they'd go. More often than not the colonel would try to figure out how the hell Alphonse could play the way he did, and eventually it even bloomed into conversation.

By the end of the second week, it didn't hurt as much to hear or think of the blonde alchemist's name. Alphonse's bedroom door went from sealed shut to wide open, and before long he was spending the majority of his time in the library or the great room. And while he seemed to be settling into his own skin (no pun intended), he still moved with a nervousness that the colonel couldn't quite place.

* * *

Alphonse was just as bad as his brother when it came to not sharing the need to knows.

They figured out, quite by accident, that during the few weeks Alphonse was away he had developed an aversion to touch. Roy had noticed the little things when the teenager had arrived, but hadn't thought much of them until the behavior began to escalate. At first he would simply flinch away from anything that looked to be heading his way. If they reached for a serving spoon at the same time, Al would jerk his hand back as if he'd been burned. He would cower when Roy raised his hand, and if he happened to be walking toward Al the kid seemed to unconsciously shift himself out of the pathway. Even moving a chess piece over that invisible line caused Al's arms to twitch in some sort of warning.

What worried the colonel most was that Envy may have gotten his sadistic hands on both Elric boys, and he didn't really know how to go about asking Al. It wasn't really the sort of thing one would bring up while passing the salt. Roy was quite well practiced in the ways of conversation, but his strengths relied on skilled small talk and charm to boot. He had a feeling Alphonse wouldn't appreciate small talking about his ordeal or being flirted into it, and so the colonel felt helplessness to the point that he didn't bring it up in the least.

And then one evening, it happened. They brushed arms in the hallway, and thank goodness it hadn't been on Roy's blind side or he would have missed the sucker punch coming his way. It was one hell of a punch too; Al was subtle in ways that most modern fights had lost and Roy understood why Edward had never been able to take his brother down. The colonel had only seen eyes like those on animals, wide and desperate and nothing but a pinprick of black for pupils. The fight lasted no more than ten seconds, and Roy supposed the only reason Al snapped out of it so quickly was because his knuckles had gone through the drywall and it probably didn't feel too pleasant.

Roy had left the stunned boy in the hall to deal with his demons alone. As harsh as it was to abandon a frightened child, he knew from experience that sometimes the only thing you could do for someone was nothing at all. Later found the Flame sitting at the kitchen table, in the process of icing the hand that had taken the worst of Al's impromptu ninja attack. Said young alchemist eventually appeared the doorway, looking nothing but miserable as he set foot on the tiled floor. Roy lifted his chin from his arm and they observed each other for a moment, and Roy figured he was going to get an apology and then an Alphonse who refused to come out of his room for the rest of the evening.

"I don't want to talk about it too much," the boy stated adamantly, eying the colonel with a mixture of guilt and something more serious.

The older man was nothing but surprised, but tried to not let it show. "Don't feel pressured to feel like you have to, Alphonse," Roy asserted, adjusting the ice pack just a bit. "There's no need to explain."

"He was consistently abusive," Al said quietly, not missing a beat. He pulled out the chair opposite of the colonel and had a seat, but sat with his side facing the older man. "Physically and pharmaceutically," he added hastily, catching the look of alarm on Roy's face out of the corner of his eye. The colonel wanted to kick himself for being so obvious. "Hitting and kicking and throwing me around like I was nothing more than a sack of flour while keeping me so drugged up that I couldn't even begin to think of a way to fight back." He pulled up the sleeve of his shirt and laid his left arm out on the table with a thump, and Roy leaned over to get a better look. His brow furrowed, not because something was wrong but because the teenager's arm looked fine. Perfect, even. "Snapped my wrist once when he gripped it too tightly, and tried to set it with a towel and a wooden spoon, I don't even know why he bothered," Al explained. He lifted his arm and moved the wrist in a circle. It was smooth and fluid and didn't make a sound. "Ed did a really good job fixing it, I think the only reason it feels weird is because my head thinks it's still broken."

The young Elric tugged the green shirt sleeve back down, and that's when the older man noticed his bloody knuckles. Roy grabbed a napkin from the holder and passed it to Al, who nodded his thanks. He sucked on the tip and then began to blot away at the wound, wincing. "He kept me tied up most of the time, I'm guessing so I couldn't try to use alchemy. When Ed finally showed up, I could feel myself dying. I think Envy knew he was coming and decided to finish me in a way that would make the death slow, so Brother could see. I'm not sure where I was bleeding from, but I could feel it, here," the teenager said, laying a hand to his abdomen. He winced at his own touch, showing the colonel just how scarred his mind really was. Roy figured it was because Al's mind and soul, having spent so much time without sensory ability, were now more sensitive than most peoples'. Whereas punches and kicks hadn't hurt before, they did now and his mind was trying to again understand why.

"I think worst of all," Al said quietly, breaking the older man's train of thought. Roy looked up at the adolescent, who was obviously wringing his hands in his lap, corners of his mouth turned down. There was the faint sound of a shredding napkin. "I longed for the armor again. I actually wished that I was nothing but a soul so I didn't have to feel this pain, even though Brother had worked so hard and given up so much to get my body back." His face crumpled, and the colonel felt his heart go out to the young man. "I feel even worse knowing he gave it all to heal me."

Roy removed the ice pack thoughtfully, noting the bruise that was already forming on the back of his hand. He was damn lucky it hadn't been broken. "I think anyone in that situation would have wished they couldn't feel," Roy concluded, voice reserved. "But you're the only one who has an experience to tie it to."

The frown disappeared from Al's face and his hands quieted, but his teeth were still clenched tight and jaw working. He got up and left without a word, and Roy could hear the distant open and close of a door. He sighed and laid his dark head back down onto the table. He absentmindedly wondered if he would be allowed to wear gloves to the hearing the day after tomorrow, because the bruise on his hand would no doubt scream 'slap fight', and that couldn't be good for his image.

* * *

Roy sat before a panel of stone faced old men, trying to fight off the prickle of unease that swam beneath his skin. Hakuro sat in the very middle, chin resting on his folded hands, eyes hard and cold. It had been seven weeks since the incident, and while the colonel had been cleared for an eight week wait, he just wanted to have it over with. He had everything to hide, and yet nothing. He could give an honest enough answer to throw them off the trail of truth; he had practiced every detail to the minute of when it occurred. He was ready for whatever they chose to throw at him.

He knew what to say, what not to say, how and how not to say it. Avoid any words or feelings of attachment to the subject. Avoid any and all emotions. Avoid the use of the words "I" or "me". When needed use "we" and always have persons' names ready to be attached to this. Avoid the use of opinions. Never once become uncertain. Sharks swarm at the first smell of blood.

He told them more than he thought he would, but not more than he had to. And with every semi truth he gave the whole truth chewed at the bottom of his skull, repressed only by a stoic exterior that had been well taught to him as a cadet.

* * *

There was no one left to dispute his story. Well, besides Al, but Al wasn't talking.

They had no choice but to believe him.

Hushed talk of a promotion swept by him, but he didn't see what it would be for. In the end it was just another sad story that should have been buried with all the others.

* * *

They had gotten into a sort of daily rhythm. As Alphonse's schedule began to coexist more accurately to the colonel's, the chess games were slowly dropped in favor of books. And every day ended in the colonel's library, with said colonel either resting or signing off on reports while the young Elric had his nose so deep in a tome it was a wonder he wasn't cross eyed.

Tonight had found the colonel with a stack of paperwork delivered by Hawkeye, but it was a delivery in addition to the papers that held his attention. Roy turned the silver shell over and over again in his hand, fingers winding through the chain before letting it slip free again. It was so thin and delicate he was at first afraid of breaking it, but it was rather deceptively strong. He fiddled with the little knob on the side, wishing more than anything he could get inside of it. But the only option he could think of was to pry the thing open or melt the lock, and he wasn't about to risk hurting the little keepsake in any way.

Some nurses had discovered the locket in one of Alphonse's tightly clenched fists, and it was given to the colonel along with a few other things the hospital and brass had considered useless. Roy remembered Ed finding it amongst the items he'd brought over from his and Al's apartment, and hadn't been aware that the blonde been wearing it. There really was no other explanation for Al getting ahold of it during the underground scuffle, and the colonel wished he knew why.

He had his elbows propped on the desk, running the little latch back and forth between his thumb and forefinger. It wasn't damaged, that was for sure. There had to be another explanation for the impossibility of getting it open. As he twisted the knob left and then right, he heard a little click and his heart jumped a bit. But when he tried to open it the lock held fast, and he grunted in frustration.

Al, who had been seated on the olive green chair to his right, looked up from his book. It took a moment for him to mentally exit the information swirling around in his head, but once he had his eyes came to life. "Oh, that's Mother's locket! I was wondering where that went," he said, sounding relieved as his carefully marked his page and closed the book. Alphonse rose from his seat and took the few steps over to the desk where the colonel resided.

"It's broken though. I can't get the damned thing open," Roy informed him, feeling a little guilty he hadn't thought to show it to Al as the teenager giddily plucked it from his hands, turning it over and over in a brief inspection. The boy was still very pale from all of his weeks in the dark, and the shining metal looked almost haunting against his skin.

Al laughed and shook his head. "It's not broken. It's like a combination. Two left, one right, half turn left." Roy watched Al's face as he twisted the knob in the directions as he spoke, and the locket clicked open. "See?"

Al handed the little trinket over for Roy to look at, and the dark haired man held it out for the both of them to see. There were four pictures inside, two on each end and a little sort of 'page' in between. The first was of who Roy assumed to be their mother. The second were the boys themselves, very young, in suits and smiling. The third was of the two of them again, this time a very covered up and somber looking Edward with a hulking metal companion. The fourth and last picture made the colonel's heart squirm uncomfortably beneath his chest. It was of himself, opened book lying on his chest as he slept.

Roy stared at it, dumbfounded. He looked up to Al, who had a rather analytical expression on his face, so much so that the colonel could practically see the gears moving in his head. His dark eyebrows were working overtime, climbing up and down and all around as if they helped to crank out his thoughts.

After a few moments, a smile graced his lips. Hazel eyes, probably understanding more than they should, took on a softness that looked almost sad. "I think you should keep it, Sir."

Roy was still feeling a bit taken by surprise, something so foreign to him containing his picture. As much as he was curious he was also saddened by the void feeling it opened in his chest. He shook his dark head, holding the locket out to Alphonse with a curved palm. "But it's your mother's, Al. I can't."

"That's true," Al said slowly, holding his hands behind his back. Roy knew better than the come into contact with the young man in any way, but Al didn't seem to quite trust him. He rocked back on his heels, looking innocent yet unyielding. "But I would rather you have it."

When Roy opened his mouth to protest, Al held up a finger. "I have many good memories of my mother, and they're all I need. Ed may have given it to me but I think it was meant to be yours."

Roy looked back down at the trinket in his hand, and his heart ached. The young man who had so innocently stolen it would keep it in his possession forever, and the colonel knew there was no hope of getting it back. He pressed his lips together, face sad, and closed the locket with a click. "Thank you Alphon-," He began, but looked up to see the boy had silently left.

The colonel sighed and lifted the necklace by its chain, unhooking the clasp and refastening the strand and charm around his neck. The chain was chilly but the locket had already been warmed by his hands, it fell over his heart and came to a rest and he pressed it there with his hand. It wasn't magic by any means, it brought up memories he would rather forget but for some reason Roy felt calmer than he had in a long while.

* * *

The brass certainly hadn't wasted any time. They were ready to wash their hands and have it over with. Roy sat on the uncomfortable wooden seat that reminded him much of the pews at the church he had gone to as a child. His heart was so heavy that his entire body felt like a leaden weight, ready to sink him to the bottom of the pond out front if he so desired. The courtroom was not one bit crowded, with only the usual inattentive observers present in addition to the Flame's team and a few from Hughes's.

Judge Dannel sat high and tall at the magistrate's bench, looking about as bored as Roy assumed he did when doing paperwork. Major Stinson was standing behind a podium in the middle of the courtroom floor, in uniform and as calm as you like. He was all on his own, with no one but the judge's officials to keep him company. The jury box was full, but they were only present for the cases that required their input, and in turn looked about as bored as the judge.

"Please state your name and your purpose," Judge Dannel asserted, folding his hands and looking down at the major. Stinson was in his thirties, intimidatingly tall with confidence to boot. It was easy to see why he had had so much courtroom success in such a small amount of time. If his size didn't demand respect, his presence sure finished the job.

The man stood at attention. "Major Isaac Stinson. I am here requesting the motion to file Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, as killed in action." The judge waved him off and Stinson lowered his salute, but his stance did not relax otherwise. He gathered a booklet from the podium, an identical one lying under it, and approached the bench. He handed it off to the court clerk, who then handed it to the judge as Stinson turned and retook his place behind the podium.

"And what evidence do you have to support the death of Edward Elric?" Judge Dannel asked, peering at Major Stinson from over his glasses.

"We have reason to support the declaration of death in absentia."

"Will you please meet the four requirements to presume one as dead?" The judge requested as his opened the booklet Major Stinson had given him. Isaac opened his copy at the same time and began to read, his bold voice unwavering.

"The jurisdiction the individual lived in before death. Central City. The jurisdiction where they are presumed to have died. Central City. How the individual is thought to have died. A violent alchemic reaction that caused the basement in which he was in to collapse in on itself. The balance of probabilities that make it more likely than not the individual is dead. Edward Elric was extremely sick, Your Honor. Without proper medical attention, and we have checked all hospitals in Amestris, Edward Elric would not have survived more than a few days. The fact that we are unable to search for him without presenting a danger to the search party magnifies the situation. It has been almost two months, Sir."

"And what evidence is there to support the title of killed in action?" The judge examined, turning a few more pages in the booklet that had been provided for him. Roy knew it was all for show, just for the record. He could sense the bull shit waves radiating from Hawkeye's direction a few seats down from him, but he wouldn't call it. Let the military have their cake if it would shut them up.

"Alphonse Elric had been filed as the victim of a homicide and the case was still open. As he lay in his sick bed, Edward Elric persevered to help with the investigation. The fact that he found his brother and was fighting the perpetrator to defend Alphonse Elric speaks for itself."

After a few minutes of reading through the report, the man in charge nodded and closed the booklet. "Very well. Motion to file Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, as killed in action under the declaration of death in absentia granted." Judge Dannel slapped the wooden hammer down, stamping his signature on the official papers and handing them to the major, who had stepped forward to take them.

"Next case!" He called.

The colonel stood and shuffled out with the rest of his team, feeling strangely at ease.

* * *

Roy had already made himself quite comfortable on the sofa in the great room by the time Al returned home from the library. He swirled the glass in his hand as he heard the teenager removing his boots and coat, taking a sip and letting it burn. Alphonse had chosen to not come to the hearing, and the colonel didn't blame him. It was nothing more than a play to make the military look like they had done the honorable thing. If Edward knew what had become of his name he would have had the mother of all hissy fits.

The teenager appeared in the doorway, and Roy had to turn his head to see him. "How did it go?" Al asked quietly, noting the glass of scotch in Roy's hand. The colonel sighed and took another drink, swishing it around before swallowing.

"Your brother has been officially declared as killed in action."

Al nodded slowly, biting his bottom lip. "I see."

"His funeral will be the day after tomorrow," he informed the boy as Al took a seat at the sofa across from him. "They said nothing big, someone is going to say a few words and they're going to bury an empty casket."

"Sir?" Al asked, fidgeting slightly. "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

Al bit his lip again, looking over Roy's shoulder at the grandfather clock. The colonel considered putting a sign on the face of it, "I do not hold the answer you're looking for" or something along those lines. People who had a question they didn't want to ask but still wanted the answer to tended to look there for advice. Roy had seen those magic balls at children's stores, the ones that get shaken up and give an answer to their question. He should definitely get one of those to put on the coffee table. It would certainly save his guests some time with the way things were going.

"Did my brother ever...admit anything to you?"

Roy, slightly confused and leaning toward Edward's secret pact with the homunculus, gave Al a questioning look. "I'm afraid you'll have to be a bit more specific than that, Alphonse."

"Oh, well then...uhm, about the nature of his feelings?" He said, more of a question than anything, looking nervous. Roy quirked an eyebrow. Edward had a lot of feelings about a lot of things, the most common of those feelings anger, and after a moment Al got the hint to keep going. "It's just, while you two were fighting it out with the array, I didn't really know what was happening. But it was like I could, could feel Brother's emotions somehow. It's hard to explain," he shared, pulling his knees up to his chest. In typical Al fashion he has rolled the wet cuffs of his pants up to about mid-calf, skin so delicate and washed out.

"What kind of emotions?" Roy asked, feeling a little anxious. If Alphonse was getting at what the colonel thought he was getting at, this could prove mildly embarrassing. He hadn't given Al knowing too much thought, letting it slip quite far from his mind. Roy figured it would have been brought up before now if the younger brother had found out. Alphonse was either a bit late on the uptake (highly doubtful) or he had been just as put off about bringing it up as the colonel had been with the details of Al's kidnapping.

Al scratched the back of his head and flushed a light pink color, looking away. "Some sort of love," he said quietly. "I felt the kind that we shared, the family love. But there was something else. Something deep and intense and while I know it wasn't for me I could still feel it."

The younger alchemist clasped his hands in his lap, fingers laced, hazel eyes searching Roy's dark one. "Were you and Brother...?"

"It's a very long story, Alphonse," Roy sighed, feeling slightly embarrassed. This teenager before him, while no longer a suit of armor, was still pretty intimidating and the colonel didn't want to be mutilated for 'violating his minor sibling'. But it was clear Al already knew, and the colonel was still alive, which was a good sign. The boy wanted nothing more than to hear about the months of his brother's life that he had missed, and the older alchemist knew it was wrong to deny Al that. "But I will be frank with you, I care and still do care about your brother very much."

"If you don't mind, Sir, I would like to hear it," the young alchemist said quietly, looking at his folded hands.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Roy wanted so badly to be able to tell people of him and Edward, and when the time had finally come that someone cared enough to ask, the words wouldn't come forward. He had never been a kiss and tell, and obviously Edward had never been either, not that the kid had much to show for it. He had been more private about his personal life than anyone had even known, and Roy wondered if it was okay to put that streak to a rest without his permission.

"Ed always felt so strange when it came to you," Al started, smiling. Roy looked up from the glass he hadn't realize he'd been brooding in. "He knew he liked girls. But something about you just turned his whole world upside down. He fought it, was embarrassed, acted like he would rather floss with barbed wire and swallow it afterward than admit he liked you." Al gave a breathy little chuckle, as if it were a quote derived directly from his brother and Roy knew he probably wasn't that far off. Hazels eyes looked into the colonel's and Al cocked his head to the side.

"I don't know about you, Colonel, but it frightened Brother to have something come along that he couldn't rationally explain. A lot of it had to do with fear, of carrying a label that people would harass him over. But I think of you two and I don't see men who are gay, or even bisexual for that matter. I think of two souls who just ended up falling for each other," Alphonse finished, words spilling from him with a maturity that a teenager shouldn't possess.

Roy set his scotch soundly onto the table, sitting back into the couch cushions and closing his eye. Al was looking at him, he could feel those large silver eyes waiting very patiently. He sat that way for a few moments before cracking his eye open at Al, who looked as patient as the colonel himself and as determined as that damn brother of his.

"It all started with a phone call," Roy began, and Al lit up like the fir tree that was still in the corner of his great room.

* * *

Death in absentia had a nice ring to it. It was just like him to not show up to his own funeral.

It was a beautiful day, even for late February, when the chance of snow was high and the wind could whip you right off your feet if you weren't careful. The weather had given them a break; the snow was soft under their feet and the breeze was calm and gentle. The sun was out in a nearly cloudless sky, as clean and blue as you'd like. Although Roy was thankful for that much, it was still freezing, and the civilians were bundled to the hilt in their winter wear.

Since there was no body to behold, the casket stayed closed. A portrait of Edward, in uniform and looking rather peeved, sat on top of the head of the box. Roy remembered when it had been taken, not even a year ago, for the new military badges. It was the only picture they had managed to salvage that hadn't involved Ed's mouth open in a barrage of insults or the ever present middle finger salute.

General Grumman had volunteered to speak when all others felt short of the desire to (aside from Major Armstrong, who in the end deemed himself 'in too much of a fragile mental state due to free flowing emotions passed down for generations'). He had gone over the most factual statements that described Edward Elric: the date and place of birth, of his death; his family members who were alive and those who weren't; what he had accomplished in the military. But as he finished, the general seemed to take on a sadness that no one in the crowd expected. "Genius or not, soldier or not, Edward Elric was still only a boy. And for the rest of your life, I can guarantee you will never meet a man as valiant or audacious as he."

It was a mind numbing experience to say the least.

"And now I believe Colonel Mustang has a reciting for us all."

Al nudged Roy, and the man started for a moment. He looked down into two unblinking eyes that looked to the stand and then back to him. The man set his jaw and moved forward through the crowd, digging out a folded piece of paper as he went.

When he made it to the casket, he paused a moment to look at the portrait, before moving on to the podium. He refused to look at the crowd standing before him, with their eyes so full of sadness and expectancy, as if what he was going to say had the power to fix this mess and make everything right. He had written the words down, and the papers shook in his hands as he placed them onto the lectern. Roy cleared his throat. And again. And again. "This poem is called 'Untitled' and by Anonymous."

"Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I'm not there, I do not sleep.

I'm a thousand winds that blow,

I'm the diamond glints on snow.

I'm the sunlight on ripened grain,

I'm the gentle autumn's rain.

When you wake in the morning's hush,

I'm the swift uplifting rush

of quiet birds in circled flight.

I'm the stars that shine at night."

He looked up before the last two lines of the poem, eyebrows furrowed in sadness as he took in all of those who came to witness the funeral of the great Edward Elric, hero of the people, a son, a brother, a lover. All of the people who knew him, and those who didn't. The aura of respect and grief hung in the air like a heavy curtain, enveloping them all.

"Do not stand at my grave and cry.

For I'm not there, I did not die."

* * *

Roy stood at attention with the other officers as the Amestrian flag was folded and presented to Alphonse. His team congregated on either side of him, exteriors as stony and reserved as his own. He could feel Hakuro's eyes burning through his skull as the gunshots went off and the casket was lowered. He didn't move a muscle, unwilling to give the jerk even a hint of satisfaction from his pain. As the dirt was slowly shoveled into the deep grave, one by one the attending citizens put a hand over their heart.

Roy remembered vaguely, that only a couple of months ago, his best friend was being buried right here in this very graveyard. The graveyard of those KIA, always remembered with a stone but somehow forgotten by the people.

As the thick dirt was patted smooth, another stone was laid over the moist earth. An empty casket in an empty grave and marked with a pointless grave stone. Ed would never allow himself to be bound to the state, body or soul. Somehow, it was ironically appropriate.

It wasn't long before everything was packed up and ready to go. The crowd dispersed in several directions; it was too cold for anyone without invested interest to stand around, families looking to head home and officers going back to finish what was left of the work day. A few lingered around to speak to Roy and his team, Al and Winry, and not too long later Roy found himself standing before the newly placed grave by himself with the promise to catch up in a few minutes. They would be gathering at the office, but he had words to say that weren't meant for anyone else.

For a while he just stood and reflected on it all. Because here was the final chapter of this story, the closing sentence that left the reader wanting more. And Edward's author had done a great job of it. Everything from then on would be nothing but a tale, a memory, a lonely little gravesite ending with nothing more to go on.

"You were so full of fire. And at first, that fire was a nuisance. It meant I would have to keep an extra strong hold of you, document your every move, follow you. You were reckless and childish and there was nothing anyone could do to change your grumpy ass attitude." He scoured the gravestone, taking in its every detail. The stones here were all the same, shiny and gray, in uniform just like the bodies they housed had once been. "I shouldn't have been surprised to find it wasn't all that hard to get past. You were just scared. But you were also very brave, so selfless, more than anyone should be." He pulled the hood of his coat back and had to fight the urge to get down on his knees, settling for a bowed head. "I wish I was as brave as you. Maybe if I were, you would know how much you were loved," he whispered, guilt ringing through his ears. Not answering the blonde's confession that night was going to haunt him for years to come. That much was clear.

He frowned and stepped away, the bitter wind biting as his cheeks and ears. Hughes was only a few markers down, and he trudged through the snow that hadn't been cleared. Two other trails, one smaller than the other, showed the colonel his family had already been and gone. They had probably come early just to do so. He reached out a gloved hand and wiped the snow away until the face of his friend's stone was clear.

"We caught him," the colonel said quietly, running a hand along the top of Hughes's gravestone. "We caught him and we destroyed him. But you found out first, didn't you? You found out before we did and it was your kiss of death. It's funny, after all of the stupid things you've done, I never thought your intelligence would be your downfall." He stepped back and pulled the hood over his head, ready for a bit more of a walk than there had been between his lover and his friend. "Elysia is turning six tomorrow, Edward eighteen. I'll tell her happy birthday if you tell him."

It seemed those two could really turn him sappy. But if there just happened to be an afterlife, he hoped that it brought them nothing less than the peace they deserved.

He didn't say anything when he got to his brother's grave.

He didn't need to.

* * *

"Al, I'm back from the market," Roy called out, to no response. He kicked the door closed behind him, heading for the kitchen.

"Probably fell asleep with his nose in a book again."

He deposited the bags on the kitchen counter and pulled of his gloves, stuffing them into his coat pocket as he walked back into the foyer to remove his boots. Roy began to unwind his scarf and he walked through the great room and down the hall, wondering where the boy was. He peeked into Al's room and was met with an empty desk chair. He checked his office as well, to no avail.

"Al?" He called up the stairs, and began to climb them. The library was immediately at the top of the stairs, and the colonel poked his head in to find no Al. Peeked inside the guest room no one used. No Al. He sighed. Must have gone to the State Library. The kid usually left a note, but maybe he had simply forgotten this time.

Roy was just turning back toward the stairs when he heard a noise, the sound of a handle being turned, and that's when he noticed the door to Ed's room was open just a crack. He mentally sighed. "Oh Alphonse, it's too soon to be digging up ghosts," he whispered, approaching the door and pushing it open a bit more.

Al was standing before the open closet door, his sad eyes slowly running over every article of hanging clothing. He reached out and slid a black shirt between his thumb and forefinger, the rough cotton falling from his touch when he let go. Al abruptly gathered two fistfuls of clothing and buried his face into them, taking a deep breath, his shoulders shaking as he exhaled. His eyes were moist when he pulled away, as the teen looked as if he were going to shut the closet door. But something caught his eye, and he paused, staring at the floor. He leaned down, reaching for something that was at the bottom of the closet.

The colonel knew what it was even before the Al pulled it out of the abyss of the little dark room. Since Roy's blood was the only type they had found on it, they had just let the colonel have it as it held no evidence or value to the investigation. He supposed they decided that he'd earned it.

Roy watched as Al studied the faded red, rumpled and blood stained and slightly torn from the desperation of that night. Then Al slipped it on. The breath in Roy's throat hitched, and the back of his eyes began to burn. It fit almost perfectly.

* * *

"Colonel?" Al asked one evening, looking up from his position on Roy's couch in the study. Said colonel looked up from a rather long report he was working on, head leaned on one hand, thinking it would be a simple question. However Alphonse had no book in his hands, and a flag shot up in Roy's mind. High alert, on your toes.

"Yes Alphonse?" He asked, a bit too eager to get back to the report. It was the very monotonous work of Falman, and while his team needed his sense of exact order the man really knew how to make the colonel's job more difficult. In other words, the colonel was trying his best to hurry through the document before it put him to sleep.

The teenager sat up and clasped his hands in his lap, dirty blonde head bowed. The flag in Roy's mind turned red. "As you know, they gave me an honorary pass into the State Library, because of Brother."

'_Oh boy. Here we go,'_ Roy thought, sighing. He put his pen down and sat back, preparing himself. "Yes?" The colonel prodded. He was hoping the kid wanted nothing more than a certain book from the restricted section, or maybe one they wouldn't let him check out simply because of his age. But what he was truly expecting was that Al was going to bring up his eligibility to take the alchemy exam. The testing began next week after all. Please, not the test. He would check out every single book in that library for Al if he meant he wouldn't take that damn test.

Falman's report began to go forgotten.

If Alphonse noticed the older man's apprehension, he didn't show it. Chances were he didn't, as he was awfully busy studying his nails and every time the kid did something like that Roy was fascinated. Al had nails to study, and that in itself was very impressive. "Well this might be a tall order, and I apologize for any negative feelings it brings up." Al took a deep breath, nerves causing him to shake a bit as he let it out. "Couldyoudrawthecircleforme?" He blurted out.

The older alchemist blinked. He hadn't quite caught the question, but if he was right the words 'exam' or 'test' or even 'alchemy' were not present, and so he relaxed a bit. "Come again?"

"Could you...draw the circle for me? The one that Brother used that night?"

Roy raised his lone eyebrow. Well then. Part of the colonel sighed in relief, and the other part asked him if he was really so sure he preferred any question other than the state alchemy exam. Alphonse had certainly caught him off guard, as he often did, and the colonel briefly thought of bringing up the exam instead. He crossed one arm and tapped his lip, contemplating the appeal. Alphonse still had yet to look him in the eye and his clasped hands had closed into fists, his body so tense he looked almost ready to explode. "I'll tell you what, Al," Roy said quietly, and the younger brother's head snapped up, eyes wide. "I will draw up the array to the best of my ability, on one condition."

"Sir?" He squeaked, obviously already accepting of the condition no matter what it was.

The colonel held up a finger and was vaguely reminded of a blonde boy and his nasty habit. He managed to stay stoic and unreadable and made sure each and every word sounded as serious as he meant it to be. "I never want to see it again and don't want to hear about anything you find out about it. Period. Do we have a deal?"

The sixteen year old nodded solemnly despite his clear excitement. "I promise."

The colonel pulled out a fresh piece of paper and began to sketch, curving circles and straight lines, symbols he had never seen before. But he would never forget the circle that sometimes woke him from sleep, danced in his mind when he closed his eye. He left a section of the outside circle broken so the small array had no chance of being accidentally activated. He knew Al was as careful an alchemist as they came, but there was no need to risk it. What took Edward's genius mind only a few minutes to think up took the colonel twenty minutes to draw, and the more he put on the paper the more exhaustion seemed to creep up on him.

He handed the array over to a very excited looking Alphonse, who blubbered out a large amount of thank yous and bounded out the door like someone on a mission. The colonel shook his head, admiring the young man's perseverance in all things connected to his brother. He glanced down at Falman's report, yawned, and promptly settled his head on his pile of paper work and fell asleep.

* * *

Something in Al underwent a change the night after Roy drew up the transmutation circle for him. The kid had a growing army of literature dispersed about his room, notes haphazardly tucked into pages of books and scattered about the floor making it look like a book or two had had a seizure. It was getting hard to pull the young man out of his room again, and for such different reasons. Roy knew the young alchemist was up to something, but he couldn't bring himself to find out what. He had told Alphonse he didn't want to know. And as he went through days that mirrored those before last fall, he intended to keep it that way.


	23. Chapter 23: In Transit

**A/N:** I'm back! If you wish to know where I've been, check out my profile and/or Facebook page. If not, here is a short blurb of a chapter to hold you over. If you have never heard of Pitt, he was this really feisty little shit who was always in competition with Ed over things like height...and strength...and Winry...and who knows what else. He was in the manga, and I'm 90% sure he's the kid with the farmer when Ed and Al return home to have Ed's automail arm rebuilt in the anime. But he's terribly amusing.

* * *

**Chapter 23:** In Transit

Al spent so much time researching that the colonel felt compelled to put him on the pay roll, but he held himself back from doing so. He knew that eventually Alphonse would return to his real home and family, and Roy wanted nothing to do with holding him back. Even putting him in the situation by simply asking would be cruel.

He knew it was beginning to be that time, too. Al had broken out of the shell he had formed around himself. He talked and laughed as he had before, and he had an appetite that was comparable to his brother's. Roy found himself slightly afraid of what it was going to be like to once again have a huge house all to himself. And yet, he wasn't. Before it had been some sort of prison, everything from the walls to the blankets nothing but cold, but it was something different now. It was his home again, though still not the home it once was. It was as if all of the color had been taken away, and there was no better way to describe it. Things became a little brighter when Alphonse was around but the colonel knew from the beginning that it wouldn't be forever. Though through the weeks the alchemist pair had become close friends, Roy knew the teenager's roots were calling to him. And without blood roots to keep him in the city, it wouldn't be much longer.

The colonel was more than slightly surprised when Al came home one evening loaded down with literature on the local university. He bounced into the older alchemist's study with an air of pride to him, his face giving it all away. All those years in the armor had taught Al to be expressive as he possibly could to get his emotions across, and because of that he gave everything freely. One could practically read his mind just by looking into those guilty hazel eyes.

"Looks like you've been busy today," Roy prompted, looking up mid signature to Al's beaming smile.

"As you know I've been corresponding with a childhood friend of my and Brother's, his name is Pitt. He's a medical assistant at a hospital near my old hometown; he's a bit feisty but very intelligent and wanted to know if I had any information on Central University," he explained in response to the colonel's highly raised eyebrows. He placed his armful of books, papers, and various readings on the couch. "I went in to get some brochures and talk to a few people and I might have accidentally ended up getting him and me a full scholarship," Al announced the last bit in slight embarrassment, plopping himself down onto the floor before he began to shuffle through the pile of information.

"But don't you plan on returning home?" Roy asked in confusion, laying his pen down onto the desk.

Al waved him off with a smile. "Oh don't worry, Colonel, I will be. I made them aware of how far away Pitt and I come from and that we wouldn't exactly be able to attend as regular students. They said if we're as half as smart as I say we are we would have no trouble doing all of the work from home, and showing up once a month to be tested."

Roy folded his hands under his chin and smiled. "That's quite generous of them. What will you be studying?"

The young man began to separate the haphazard stack into two neat piles, examining each item to decide its location. "Well, I assume Pitt will want to go for medicine. I think he's a bit sore about having to be ordered around all day," Al informed him, lips curled up in an amused smile. "I'll be taking courses on biology."

Roy was immediately on high alert, eyeing the boy with stern suspicion. "Alphonse," he said in warning, a tone he had only heard his brother and Hawkeye use on him.

The teenager was immediately waving his hands about, shaking his head. The papers Al had been holding went flying left and right, and if he had been standing he would have probably been bouncing up and down like a little rubber ball. "No no, Colonel! Nothing sinister I promise!" He stopped short and tapped a finger to his lip thoughtfully. Roy closed his eyes and started shaking his head. Al fumbled over his words for a moment, realizing the older alchemist didn't trust him as far as he could throw him. "Well, not _really_, anyway. I mean I'm interested in it because of what Brother and I _did_, but I'm not looking to botch it with alchemy!" More hand waving.

One of the colonel's hands found its way to the side of his head and his fingers began to massage. This kid was going to be the end of him. And the Flame had thought his brother had been bad. "Solemnly swear to the Gate, Alphonse," he huffed, and the boy quickly and devoutly did.

* * *

After that moment everything seemed to happen in a blur. And not a fast one either, a slow smudge that smeared one day into the next into the next. It became harder for the colonel to recall when exactly things took place, and even to remember what the date was.

Spring came and went and so did Alphonse. He wanted the summer to settle back in at the Rockbell home before his studies began, and the colonel couldn't blame him. It had been months since Al had seen his family and Roy knew he was very excited to see them now that he was out of the hole he'd been thrown into against his will. When they bid a 'see you later' at the train station, the older alchemist slipped Edward's silver state watch into Al's pocket. It had been in Ed's room that Al frequently visited, and Roy knew the watch was one of the young brother's favorite treasures, though he would have never admitted to it.

The three months of summer came and went as slowly as a cloud with no wind behind it. Roy did his best to keep himself distracted and return to the way his life had been last fall. He would fight his paperwork and eventually get it done, go out with his team, go out on dates with women who had had their eye on him while doing his best to not feel guilty. He had loved this life before, hadn't he? Hadn't he been perfectly happy then? If that was the case, why wasn't he happy now?

He had a feeling it had something to do with the two gaping holes in his heart. Wounds took time to heal, but there were times and days where the colonel felt the remains were too tattered to be saved.

The last week of August brought the orientation of first year university students, and along with it two young men to the Mustang residence. Apparently Pitt had no last name, as when prompted he replied, "It's just Pitt." Al and Just Pitt always came to stay with Roy during their visits, and the colonel had a special fondness for the student doctor. The young man, who according to Al was just a couple of months older than Ed, was every bit of feisty as the young Elric had described. He was spirited and touchy, reminding the colonel of Edward in the most painful of ways. The both of them had brains wired for high intelligence but seemingly poor people skills; Al was a genius in his own way, perhaps not as much of a prodigy and that would explain why he did better with people while Edward hadn't gone a day in his life without pissing someone off.

Despite the roller coaster ride the university pair provided in each visit, the colonel welcomed them with open arms. He could stop pretending, if only for one weekend a month, that life had never changed. He could live in the reality of the pain and yet know that everything was going to be okay. He was in no way ashamed to admit those two kids were his saving grace.

A year after Edward disappeared, Roy realized what had become of himself. Fourteen years in the military, and nearly all of them spent as a soldier. He was less scientist and more a tool for battle, a pretty little placeholder in a Central office, a dog roaming the yard and ready to come when its master snapped his fingers. Most of his assessments had been no more than a test of battle against several different soldiers and weaponry, and that had been more than enough to please the higher ups. It left the keen intelligence he once possessed to rust over and lay buried with the rest of who he once had been.

He loathed himself.

Dates he would have previously accepted were waved away, offers to go out to the bar from his team were dismissed. He spent a large part of his time holed up in the State Alchemist Library, and by the third month they had put the room on permanent reserve for Colonel Mustang.

It was around that time when Pitt stopped visiting the Mustang residence when he and Alphonse came into town. He said something in the house bothered him, something private that he felt to be trodding all over each time he came to stay. Roy understood, he felt it himself at times and he couldn't blame Pitt for feeling the same. The house had too much history for most visitors and the colonel wasn't going to push the subject. And so once a month from then on, the young man stayed in the colonel's own military quarters per Roy's insisted offer. Roy didn't mind much, the hot headed university student wasn't avoiding him and the trio had a grand time going out in the evenings.

Al had gone through a few stages during his visits. He had started out in the guest room he had stayed in during his mental healing. He had gradually made the switch to Edward's room, and it was a little after the first year that he again moved to the couch Ed had once called his own. The colonel was curious when he jokingly asked Al how his monthly migration was going, and Al had laughed along. His simple reply was that he felt so close here, like he could almost touch him.

Roy didn't need to ask who he meant. His movements throughout the house had mirrored those of his brother, and though it was slightly eerie it was also comforting. He looked forward to having a monthly guest on his couch, it brought his world back into balance if only for a weekend, and that was just enough to hold him over.

Alphonse and Winry approached him after the eighteen months mark and told him they were to be married the next spring.

He congratulated them, but didn't know exactly how to react when Winry asked for him to give her away. She said she had always thought it would be Ed to do so, and that he would have wanted Roy to take his place.

The for sale sign had a big red 'sold' sticker slapped on it within the next week. His family home really was lovely, Roy decided, as he had never really paid much attention to detail. But holding onto what once was while knowing it would never be the same was taking its toll on him. To let go was to move forward. It had taken no more than a few days for the offer to come in and they had closed the sale a week after. Mrs. Miller's daughter had long since moved on, the town house she had mentioned sitting barren for a little over a year. She was thrilled when he made an offer, but seemed sad to see him go.

He was in the center of town now, around the quiet hustle and bustle of a small town square. For being so old, the house looked rather fresh and new, situated in just the right position so he always had a lot of natural light. It was a tad bit smaller than his current home, having only one living area and the office and library had to become one. But the colonel was happy to rid himself of the living room furniture. He had never bothered to replace the shattered top of the coffee table anyway.

After he had moved in comfortably, the colonel had a break in his research. He turned his assessment in early, so eager to map out his newfound solution to alchemic feedback that tended to happen with large reactions, especially ones that had been artificially amplified. He told himself that while he knew it could be used for war, it could be used to save those who weren't in the line of fire, but were unnecessarily taken out by the aftershock.

Brigadier General Roy Mustang and his team moved up one floor, to a bigger office with more resources and, yes, its own coffeemaker. In the end he figured it could be a whole lot worse. Sheska, in addition to her duties with the State Library, was permanently added to his team at his request.

Two years after Edward left, Alphonse and Winry were married. It was a beautiful ceremony, small and delicate. Alphonse had worked hard to clear out all of the ruins of his former home, leaving the skeleton of the doorway, the fireplace, and the square of the foundation. The basement had long since been filled in by the villagers, who feared children and animals wandering in. Everyone walked through the doorway and were seated on wooden chairs the young man had made from the wood left over from the fire. The brigadier general walked through the doorway with Winry on his arm, and she and Alphonse were married at the make shift alter of the old fireplace. It was the time in spring when the blossoms cut loose and blew away, adding a sort of fairytale element to everyone's happiness.

The Flame thought it was a shame that Ed couldn't be there for it. This is what they had fought for, for so many years. Right here. Al and his new wife could feel it too, Roy had never seen such big smiles full of so much sadness. Ed had made so many things possible by giving up himself, and the brigadier general wondered what else equivalent exchange had in store for them. You couldn't take away such an enigma, such light and life without something even bigger than a couple's love in return.

A little over three years after Edward left, the brigadier general got his answer. Alphonse and Winry were the center of a small get together at Gracia's house, for Al's 21st birthday. It was after the early commotion of celebration calmed down that Winry announced she and Alphonse were three months pregnant. They were met with nothing but warmth, excitement, and many congratulations. It was only later in the quiet confines of Roy's townhouse that the pair admitted the pregnancy was purely a surprise. They definitely hadn't been trying; the two had wanted to wait until Alphonse was done with his fourth year in university to start a family. Al told the older man that while he didn't believe that all things happen for a reason, this baby was proving it belonged here by already beating the odds. Stubborn little thing, Winry had said with a smile. They were frightened but excited nonetheless.

Roy felt a thrill run through him as if he were going to be a grandparent. He hated the word grandparent, he was NOT old, thank you very much. It didn't properly describe the feeling but there was no better way.

Four years since the Fullmetal Alchemist and Wesley Izaiah Elric graced the world. He was five pounds and eight ounces, most of that weight from all the hair on his head. He cried like mad when Roy held him, even more when the brigadier general began to panic and felt like crying himself. A picture of that moment existed somewhere, and Al wouldn't let him have it because the young man knew it would end up as ashes.

Roy had been half expecting some tribute toward Edward in the baby's name, and was surprised and relieved there wasn't one. With a story as rich as Al's, the Flame knew the name hadn't come out of thin air. It wasn't until Izumi and her husband visited that Roy put two and two together. When the baby was only a few months old, his namesake passed away. Her body had done the best it could throughout the years. She had made it to see Alphonse graduate with a four year degree in biology, holding baby Wesley as Roy snapped a photo of the three generations of teacher, student, and son. Fortunately he was allowed a copy of _that_ photo, and it sat center on the mantle of his fireplace. It was if she had held out just long enough to see Al grow up, the only baby she had left. She told Roy to take the reins from there, and had her husband take her back to the hotel where she passed peacefully in her sleep.

The only people not surprised were Al and Sig. Everyone else had seen a woman who was strong to the end, and even the brigadier general admitted she had looked lively and well at the ceremony. At least now he knew where Ed had learned it from.

She was given a small funeral in Dublith, and Al had gone alone to pay his respects. Very few had the right to, his family included, and so Winry stayed at the Mustang residence with the baby during the few day period. The brigadier general probably learned more about babies than he ever needed to know in that time, primarily that they truly frightened him. He did finally get the act of soothing down pat, to the point that Winry just handed the little guy over when he started to wail. As nice as it was, Roy swore to the heavens he would never be a father.

Five years after the fact, Fuhrer Hakuro stepped down from his position. General Grumman was all too eager to take his place. It had always been his, and Hakuro knew it.

Grumman was quick to elect several generals to sit directly below him and to send their opinions and approval, or lack of, his decisions. This new form of government was nearly unheard of in their country, and the peoples' apprehension was clear. But Grumman, despite his age, was a charmer. After all, Roy had learned his skills from the best. He won his country over in more ways than one, and by the end of the year was even working on a peace treaty with the Drachmans. If the Flame didn't see evidence of it himself, he would have thought hell had frozen over as cold as Briggs.

The sixth year was by far the worst. Nothing happened. He got older. Whispered words of another promotion swept by his ears often, but he paid it little mind. The more he would think about it, the less likely it was to happen. It was a little after the end of the year when the rugged scraps that were his still healing heart began to come alive, tugging with a sort of blind anticipation. For what, he did not know. And so the brigadier general moved through his days like a fluff of cotton loose in the wind, drifting with and without a purpose.


End file.
